Man in the Gray Flannel Suit (21 page)

The fear that he was proving an utter failure in his new job grew. He would have quit in discouragement if it hadn’t been for Hopkins’ praise, which grew in warmth as the number of discarded efforts multiplied, and which somehow never failed to sound utterly sincere. Maybe he just goes on like that till he definitely makes up his mind to fire you and then lets you have it between the eyes, Tom thought. But why should a guy like that lie? Maybe he
does
think I’m doing a good job. Maybe he expects a speech to be written a thousand times.

Tom didn’t know. Every time Hopkins built him up, Ogden tore him down. “It’s getting
worse,”
Ogden said when he read the third draft. “Give it a fresh approach! Put some
oomph
into it!”

There was only one comforting thought. The speech would have to be completed before many weeks went by, if Hopkins were going to give it at all–it wouldn’t really be possible to go on rewriting it forever.

A week later, when Tom was in the middle of his sixth draft of the speech, and apparently no closer to an acceptable final draft than ever, his mind was distracted by a simple event: Betsy sold the house in Westport and agreed to get out of it within two days. Tom had been falsely reassured by the fact that not many people had inspected the house, and he had figured it probably would take some time for Betsy to put her plans into action. “But why did you agree to get out in
two days
?” he asked in dismay when she told him she had accepted an offer of sixteen thousand dollars.

“He wanted to move his family in–he’s just come from Chicago,” Betsy said. “It was such a good price he offered, and I was afraid he’d get away.”

“How can we do it?” Tom asked. “We’ve got to pack china, and
clothes, and
everything!
And I’m going to be working day and night on this speech!”

“Don’t worry about the packing,” Betsy said. “I’ll have everything ready. The movers will come Saturday morning, and Saturday afternoon we’ll all pile in the car and drive to South Bay.”

The next evening when Tom got home from New York, every room in the house was cluttered with cardboard boxes and barrels.

“Daddy!” Janey said delightedly. “Momma said not to mind about keeping things neat!”

Tom looked around the disordered house, and suddenly it was unutterably dear to him. The crack like a question mark in the living-room wall, the shabby furniture, the worn linoleum on the kitchen floor–all seemed part of something precious that was slipping fast, something already gone which never could be retrieved. He went to the kitchen cupboard where the liquor was usually kept, but it was gone, and the empty cupboard was neatly lined with clean white paper.

“The liquor’s in the big red wastepaper basket,” Betsy said cheerfully.

Quietly Tom poured himself a drink.

“That Mr. Howard called again today,” Betsy said. “I told him we were moving into Grandmother’s house. He seemed quite disappointed–and no wonder. I found something out about him.”

“What?” Tom asked somberly.

“He’s a professional real-estate man–that’s a lot of malarky he gave us about wanting to buy the place for his own use. He’s the real-estate man for that restaurant company. Mrs. Reid, the agent who sold this place for us, recognized his name and told me.”

“He wouldn’t want to put a restaurant way up on that hill,” Tom said. “They build that kind of restaurant near highways.”

“Mrs. Reid says he probably didn’t want it for a restaurant–he speculates on real estate for himself on the side. He probably wanted to do just what we’re going to do with it. I think that’s a good sign.”

A good sign, Tom thought–that’s what I need. The old premonition of disaster was sneaking up on him. I’ve had it a million times before, he thought–it doesn’t mean a thing. I’m doing all right on my job. Hopkins likes me. We’re really being smart to sell this place and move to Grandmother’s house. We’re going to make a damn good thing of it!

He couldn’t convince himself. Even if I do get fired, it won’t matter, he thought. We’ve got a little cash now. I’ll get into some kind of business for myself. I’ll work full time on selling Grandmother’s house.

Suddenly he had a picture of himself hanging around his grandmother’s house, precisely as his father had, with nothing to do. He glanced down and found he was gripping his right thigh so hard that his knuckles were white. He hadn’t done that for some time. Why the hell should I get scared in peacetime? he thought. Deliberately he stood up. It doesn’t really matter, he thought. Here goes nothing. It will be interesting to see what happens.

“Betsy!” he said. “Is there any packing I can help you with?”

“Not a thing! Say, guess what I found today while I was cleaning out the attic!”

“What?”

“Your old mandolin–I packed it in one of the boxes. You ought to get it fixed up. It would be fun.”

“I will sometime,” he said.

“Daddy,” Janey said, “tell us a story about Bubbley.”

“All right,” Tom said. “Once upon a time there was a little dog named Bubbley. He swallowed a cake of soap, and . . .”

“Don’t tell it so fast!” Barbara said.

“. . . every time he barked, he blew bubbles,” Tom said, spacing the words evenly. “One day a man from a circus saw him. . . .”

He told the story well and repeated it twice upon request.

“W
ILL
G
RANDMOTHER BE THERE
when we get there?” Janey asked.

It was late Saturday afternoon. They were droning along the Merritt Parkway from Westport to South Bay, with the car packed tightly with suitcases and paper cartons of clothes. Tom had just signed the deed transferring the little house on Greentree Avenue to its new owner, who had seemed overjoyed to get it.

“Grandmother is dead,” Betsy said gently. She had already explained this to the children several times.

“Do dead people ever come back?” Barbara asked.

“No,” Tom said.

“Do they
like
being dead?” Janey inquired.

“I don’t know,” Tom said.

“Grandmother is in heaven,” Betsy said. “I’m sure she’s happy there.”

The engine of the old Ford was knocking, and the indicator on the dashboard showed it was heating up. Tom slowed down to twenty-five miles an hour and stayed at the extreme right edge of the highway. He had always had a horror of breaking down on the Merritt Parkway with the children along, and of not being able to get the old car off the pavement. Now other cars regularly blared their horns as they flashed by.

“We’ll have to get a new car pretty soon,” Betsy said. Tom didn’t answer.

“Where is Grandmother now?” Janey asked. “What did they do with her when she got dead?”

“Her soul went to heaven,” Betsy said. “Her body has been buried in the cemetery.”

“Does she ever try to get out of the cemetery?”

“No,” Tom said.

“She’s not really in the cemetery,” Betsy said. “Her
spirit
is in heaven.”

“How long is it going to be before we get there?” Barbara asked.

“Get where?” Tom said.

“Grandmother’s house.”

“About half an hour.”

“Can I have a drink of water?” Janey inquired.

The engine seemed to be knocking louder. Don’t break down now, Tom thought. Not now. Somehow it would have seemed a very bad omen to have the car break down while they were moving to Grandmother’s house.

When they got off the parkway, they stopped at a restaurant and had supper. By the time they reached the winding road leading up the hill to the big house, it was almost dark. The heat indicator on the dashboard of the old car touched the red line marked “danger.” Tom slowed to ten miles an hour, shifted into second gear, and
crawled around the sharp turns by the massive outcroppings of rock. The engine kept going. Finally he saw the stone posts, with the tall iron urns on them, turned into the driveway, and shifted into low gear as he passed the grove of oak trees, the carriage house, and the rock garden. Ahead of him the old mansion loomed, silhouetted against the sky. Tom parked the car near the house and cut off the tired engine. Old Edward opened the front door of the house and stood framed in it. “Good evening, Mr. Rath,” he said.

Ever since he could remember, Tom had taken old Edward for granted–he had to think hard to remember his last name, which was Schultz. Now Tom looked at him closely, as though he had never seen him before. Edward was a tall man about sixty-five years old, thin and bent at the shoulders. Deep lines ran from the edges of his nose to the corners of his mouth, and his brow was furrowed. What kind of life has he led? Tom wondered. What has he done all these years when the supper dishes were washed? He remembered his grandmother telling him that Edward kept canaries in his room. Somehow it didn’t seem possible.

Now Edward stood holding the front door open with one hand, his face stern and unwelcoming. The children, tired of being pent up in the car, dashed ahead of their parents into the big house, but, surprised by the dim and somehow eerie light of the front hall, skidded to a stop, rumpling a scatter rug. Tom and Betsy came in, carrying boxes and suitcases. Edward made no motion to help them. When they got inside, he let the front door close softly behind them. “I would like to talk to you, Mr. Rath,” he said.

There was no deference in his manner–that’s why he seemed like an entirely different man. There was also no friendliness. His voice was cold, almost supercilious, perhaps a little mocking, Tom thought, wondering if it were simply his imagination.

“As soon as we get these things put away,” Tom said. Edward stood watching him and Betsy as they carried their bags upstairs. The children, oddly subdued, followed their parents.

“What room shall we put our things in?” Betsy asked, breathing hard.

“Grandmother’s, I guess,” Tom said. “We’ll want the children on the same floor with us, so I guess we won’t use the third floor. If the girls want to stay together we can put them in the large guest room, and Pete can have the room I used to have.”

The door to his grandmother’s room was not latched. Without putting his suitcases down, he pushed it with his toe. It swung open, revealing the big four-poster bed, which looked strangely wide and empty. From the walls of the room old paintings of “The Senator” and “The Major” as children stared from ornate gilt frames. Barbara and Janey, abruptly recovering their spirits, leaped onto the big bed and started jouncing up and down.

“Get off there!” Tom said sharply.

The children looked startled. “Why?” Janey asked.

“We don’t want you to mess up the bed,” Betsy replied kindly. She piled the boxes she had been carrying on a chair.

“I think I’ll go down and talk to old Edward right away,” Tom said.

“What are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know–that we won’t know what we can do for him for some time, I guess.”

Edward was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. “Let’s go into the living room and sit down,” Tom said.

The old man followed him silently. Tom sat in an armchair, and Edward sank negligently into the rocking chair old Mrs. Rath had always used. Somehow he looked shockingly incongruous there, as he crossed one knee over the other and leaned back.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Tom asked. He thought it would be better to let Edward start.

“When are they going to read the will?”

“Read the will? I don’t know that they are going to. Mrs. Rath’s lawyer has it. Why do you ask?”

“Do you know what she left me?”

“Mrs. Rath spoke to me about you shortly before she died,” Tom said. “She asked me to do what I could for you, and I intend to try. You weren’t mentioned in the will specifically.”

“I wasn’t
mentioned!
” Edward said. He leaned forward in his chair.

“I intended to talk to you about it,” Tom said. “As you may know, Mrs. Rath did not leave a great deal. It will be some time before I know precisely what I can do for you, but I assure you I’ll do all I can.”

“I don’t believe it!” Edward replied. “She said she’d remember me in her will!”

“Perhaps Mrs. Rath was a little confused . . .” Tom began.

“I don’t believe it! I’ll go to law! I’ve got proof!”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Tom said. “I don’t want you to worry. I don’t have much to give, but as long as we have this house, you’ll at least have a place to stay, and in time I hope to work something out for you.”

“I don’t need your charity!” the old man said. “I’ve saved my money–I’ve probably got a lot more than you have! I only want my just due!”

“I won’t be able to tell you how much I can give you until the estate is settled,” Tom said.

“Never mind that! I want to see the will! I don’t believe she didn’t mention me. She promised she’d leave me the house.”

“The
house
?”

“That’s right–I’ve got proof!”

“You must be mistaken,” Tom said. “She spoke to me often about leaving me the house. Are you sure you aren’t imagining all this?”

“Of course I’m sure! Why do you think I’ve stayed here all these years? Why do you think I took her orders, and cooked her food, and did her laundry, and cleaned up her dirt? Do you think I loved the old woman?”