Man 2.0 Engineering the Alpha (17 page)

Now, in case you have any question about it, we're about to prove that your sex drive really is the key to an unreal life.

 

MAKING THE LEAP: FROM SEX DRIVE TO SUCCESS

We've already established why improving your sex drive is important to your sex life. But the reason we care so much about your sex life is that it's integral to your ability to achieve success in other areas of your life. Freud was famous for theorizing about the psychological concept of sublimation. This theory stated that powerful impulses—such as sex—could be readily transformed into powerful socially accepted behaviors like becoming a better, more efficient worker. These hormonal drives were so powerful that they could be easily channeled into other areas, and they were a prominent driver of confidence and motivation.

Put another way, questions about your sex drive on an internal level cause fractures in self-confidence and negatively impact you in other areas of your life
without
your awareness.

This isn't what you'll list on a questionnaire or what you tell your boys at the bar. These are the questions that you only admit to yourself when you're alone. These are the thoughts that we know ruminate in your head.

We know you have them because we've had them too and so have all of our clients. You question if you're good enough. Are you attractive enough? Is there a reason you don't want sex more often? You might even question if your dick is big enough. You can't tell us that these questions—on issues that are so important to you—can't make you less confident in other areas of your life.

Or maybe more accurately worded—that being supremely confident on all of these issues can't increase your confidence in other aspects of your life. According to researchers at the University of Chicago, only 23 percent of men who have a loss of libido still feel content with their lives. The study examined how often men think about sex. While survey data was collected, the researchers made some very interesting conclusions. They felt that the stats would have been even more staggering but that, for many men, the thought of not being sexually active was
normal
.

We're not sure which is more troubling—the drop in libido or the idea that men aren't bothered by this decrease.

Although women with lower libido tend to experience higher levels of happiness, men aren't wired that way. For men, sex drive is more closely linked to self-concept, and thus it has a greater impact on confidence and enjoyment of
all
activities, say the study authors.

At this point, it really shouldn't be a surprise. Remember, confidence breeds confidence. Success breeds success. It's why we know that changing your body will start this transformation. But in order to create an unreal life, your physical transformation must lead to a sexual metamorphosis.

In the end, when everything is equal, your success and your happiness are directly linked to your confidence. And the strongest psychological determinant of confidence is—you guessed it—your physical and sexual presence.

 

ELEVEN WAYS TO BOOST YOUR SEX DRIVE

This book is not about showing you the techniques to be a better lover. We leave that for other people and more hands-on experience. But we do want to help you fight off all the elements that are killing your sex drive and making it harder to establish your confidence. So we identified the problems that are killing your hormones and your ability to have the type of sex life you want. And the type of sex life that doesn't have to dwindle.

Lose Your Gut

Listen, we have nothing against fat people. But it's a proven fact that people who don't like the way they look have less sex. It's tied to psychological and cognitive deficiencies on many levels. To start, you don't feel attractive, which creates stress and lowers sex drive. This lowered sex drive causes you to have sex less frequently, which forces a sense of learned helplessness. That is, you don't think you'll have sex again, so there's no reason to try. Or if you're married, it means that you stop instigating sex the way you did earlier in the relationship. It's a vicious and dangerous cycle for your body and your relationship.

All the while, your excess fat is brewing up a physiological storm that is waging war on your sex drive. According to a study published in the journal
Endocrinology,
the more fat you carry, the lower the testosterone production. After all, the genes that control your testosterone levels also control your body fat. They are directly linked, and therefore more body fat means less testosterone. And the less testosterone you have, the lower your libido. If that wasn't bad enough, as your fat levels increase, so do your estrogen levels. And according to Spanish researchers, once your estrogen levels get too high, you can kiss your sex life good-bye.

Lift Heavy Weights

As you know, we're fitness professionals. So now might be a good time to remind you that our professional status doesn't mean we only know how to build muscle and burn fat. We also understand how lifting weights can completely change your physiology so you function like a different human being.

So please trust us when we tell you this: lifting weights
will
improve your sex life. Not
might
or
maybe
. It will happen.

Lifting weights increases GH and testosterone—in a big way. Finnish researchers found that guys who regularly lift free weights (like dumbbells and barbells) boost their testosterone levels by up to 49 percent. And that testosterone increase is directly linked to more sexual virility.

So pumping iron boosts your libido. But that's no reason to think it can save your sex life, right?

Wrong.

Most men (and doctors) had assumed for decades that your sex life naturally declines as you age. After all, you already know that GH and testosterone start to drop after the age of thirty. And that's why everything becomes a little softer. But when it comes to your sex life, new research has found that it's not aging that reduces your testosterone and subsequently your sex drive. It's inactivity. Australian researchers recently discovered that the drop in testosterone wasn't correlated with age but rather with behaviors such as obesity, low activity levels, and smoking.

That means lifestyle decisions that cause poor health are killing your sex life. The insulin resistance. The extra fat. The cortisol building. Since most people become less active as they grow older, their testosterone levels drop—and with it so does their sexual mojo. But if you stay active, the decrease of testosterone between the ages of forty and eighty can be almost completely blunted. Add it to the list of ways the iron game keeps you strong.

Eat More Fat

By now you know that eating more fat is not the demonized cause of obesity that many people think it is. You need fat to lose fat. You need fat to build muscle. And guess what? You also need fat to have awesome sex. Fat plays an important role in regulating all your sex hormones. And fats are integral to your sexual functioning. British scientists discovered that having productive, fertile sperm depends on polyunsaturated fats, which you can receive from fatty fish (like salmon or trout) or fish oil supplements. Those same fats also promote good circulation and blood flow. If you weren't aware, your erection depends on healthy blood flow, meaning that without those healthy fats, buildup can occur in your arteries that will hurt your sexual health.

Want more proof? Vegetarians—whose diets are typically lower in fat—were found to have lower levels of testosterone compared to those who had higher fat intake in their diet, according to the
Journal of Endocrinology
and the
American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.
Is that a definitive cause-and-effect relationship? Of course not. But it is a powerful correlation that shouldn't be overlooked when you consider the hormonal benefits of fat and the links between fat intake and improved sexual functioning.

A quick warning: do all you can to avoid trans fats. They can potentially hurt the quality of your sperm. Trans fats are the reason fat has such a bad rap. They are artificially produced fats that are linked to every possible disease, and they will make your gut expand faster than you can say, “Doughnuts.” Trans fats exist in many processed foods like cookies, fries, chips, and muffins.

The bottom line: Fat doesn't make you fat. But the wrong
type
of fat can do damage.

Eat Less Soy

When we say to eat less soy, what we really mean is that you should stop eating all soy. We don't care if you're vegetarian or vegan or you run a soy farm. Soy is not good for men. And that's not only our opinion. The brilliant minds at Harvard found a strong relationship between poor sperm quality and erectile dysfunction and the amount of soy in a man's diet.

Soy is great for women (in moderation) because it has estrogenic effects. But as we mentioned before, as you build estrogen, you simultaneously kill your sex dive.

The hard part about cutting soy is that it's hiding in lots of products that you probably think are harmless, including protein powders and bars, and many cereal products. Vegetarians typically have diets that are higher in soy, which might be another reason (in addition to fat intake) why vegetarians have been found to have lower levels of testosterone.

In order to avoid the dangerous bean, it might suit you best to check the food label twice before you inadvertently fill your body with a substance that will slowly but surely turn you into more of a woman. No joke.

Be a Strategic Drinker (Translation: Drink Less Beer)

Cheat days are an important part of our fitness plan, and one of our favorite ways to cheat (especially during the fall) is to go crazy on Sunday. What better way to enjoy the NFL than with pizza, beer, and wings? We can't think of a better way to be gluttonous without getting fat.

But if there's one element we want you to be wary of, it's the beer. That's right, not the pizza or the wings. For that matter, we're not too worried about cheesecake, pie, or even doughnut ice cream sandwiches.
^*
That's because alcohol has a negative impact on your testosterone levels. More specifically, Dutch researchers found that any regular alcoholic consumption can drop your testosterone levels nearly 10 percent and that the associated drop is linked to a decrease in sex drive.

What's worse, we're not talking about the impact of drinking over an extended period of time. The scientists found the drop to occur in just three weeks' time, meaning prolonged drinking could have an even more dramatic impact. And then there's the impact you can't even see. Alcohol is very easily oxidized in your body. Without getting too technical, oxidized stress is not good for your sex life. It can damage the DNA of your sperm and decrease your sperm count, making it harder for you to procreate.

Not to mention, while having whiskey dick might help you last longer, inevitably it decreases sensitivity and sexual enjoyment. And if sex isn't enjoyable, well then you're kind of missing the point.

Again, the goal is not to avoid drinking; it's just to drink less overall. And when you do drink, the goal should be less beer—except for on a football Sunday. Instead, go for a glass or two of wine if you want to take the edge off after a long workday.

Set Your Alarm an Hour Earlier

Raise your hand if you've ever started your morning with an erection.

Okay, know that we're all in this together, here's what you need to know: you need to start loving morning sex. We don't care if you're tired or your wife / partner / one-night stand doesn't feel sexy in the morning. Your testosterone levels peak in the morning. It's why your dick wakes up packing more power than a box of Viagra. And what happens when you have sex? You experience a beneficial surge of testosterone.

Listen, you need to view yourself like a coach of your body. And a good coach puts his team in the right situations for success. Just as you need to find the ideal times and frequency to eat, you should also be having sex when your body is primed to do so.

If you're noticing that you're having less sex, the easiest solution is simply to set your alarm an hour earlier. (But don't get less sleep; adjust when you go to bed.) Most people don't have morning sex because they don't feel they have time. And most people don't have night sex because they're ready to sleep. By setting the alarm an hour earlier, you remove both of these problems, and you take advantage of the most enjoyable way to improve your hormones.

Eat Less Sugar (Or Eat More Sugar at the Right Times)

When it comes to sugar, there are two adages that will help you determine how to navigate your consumption: When you want to eat it, remember that a little can go a long way. When you're wondering if you've had too much, remember: everything in moderation.

For us,
moderation
tends to mean one day a week when you binge on the stereotypical “bad” sugars. Otherwise, it's best to limit sugars for the very reasons you expect—they're not good for your health, and they make you fat. But too much sugar can also punish your sex life. A study in the
Journal of Sexual Medicine
discovered that healthier blood sugar levels improve your sexual health. And by sexual health, we mean more desire to fuck and less erectile dysfunction.

Sugar plays a dangerous role with insulin. Specifically, taking in too much sugar on a consistent basis increases insulin resistance. As you know, you
don't
want to be insulin resistant; in addition to all the negative attributes we've already described, insulin resistance impairs vasodilation—otherwise known as blood flow—by clogging your artery walls. That decrease in blood flow is all it takes to weaken your erections as well as to potentially cause health problems in your nether regions. And no one wants problems down there.