Mama's Home Remedies: Discover Time-Tested Secrets of Good Health and the Pleasures of Natural Living (38 page)

15. Be Fair, Dependable, Truthful, and Reliable

Take the courage, liberty, and responsibility for your life, your actions, and your family. Otherwise, numbers 1–14 won’t matter at all.

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Mama’s memos about children

^ Al children are bright and smart. They are the most amazing miracles given to you. They are beautiful, talented, and kindhearted.

^ You love them with all your heart, even if they give you a hard time sometimes. But what are mothers for? The answer is simple: Forgive no matter what, because you and no one else brought them into this wonderful world.

^ Never forget that you are the mother. Accept this title with the big responsibility which comes with it. Moms are like apple trees, blooming with delicate rose-white spring flowers. These flowers turn one day into fresh green apples. These are our children, sitting happily in our arms (branches) until we give them a chance to fly high in life.

^ Feel obligated to give children a right direction before they wil sail independently. It’s your sacred duty. Know quite wel that they will demand too much from you. They always test you too.

^ Should you spoil them? Yes, you should, but do it in a smart and reasonable way because nobody will do it so lovingly as you’ll do as their mother. You gave birth to them and the right to live on the planet Earth.

^ Sort out your priorities and you’l discover that your No.1 obligation is to create for your children a comfortable home that they wil respect, wil want to be part of, and wil desire to live in.

^ Think over and over again about your great responsibility to be the mother and how important it is to provide your children with a warm home and a happy, encouraging atmosphere. If you are able to do it, they wil never forget where they came from.

^ All children prefer their parents to be firm with them, but they will never tell you that. However, it makes them feel more secure and confident if you keep your word.

As Isis, So Is Mama… @ 265

^ Detect when your children form bad habits. Don’t miss these, especially in the early ages. At this stage you’ll be able to help them efficiently. You can explain to them the difference between bad and good things, positive and negative acts. This approach will help you prevent them from destroying their lives in the future.

^ Put yourself on high alert during the first seven years of the lives of your children. These years are very special. This is a very important time when they learn, with your help, the basics of life and how to be a good human being. It is crucial that we teach our children wholesome values they will carry with them through the rest of their days.

^ Always tell them how good they are. Never let them down. Don’t intimidate them or make them shy.

^ If your children do something wrong, talk to them quietly in private. Explain in a kind manner their mistakes. Always do that no matter how angry you are at the moment. Keep your

anger to yourself.

^ Never correct them in front of others, especial y their friends. They want to look good in other people’s eyes. Your children will notice how you behave yourself and wil appreciate it.

^ Keep your discontent to yourself if you disagree with you husband on how you should raise your children. Never argue with him in front of them. It makes them feel unhappy and unsafe when their parents, who are supposed to be strong and powerful adults, cannot find common ground.

^ Let your children see a harmony in your actions and your good relationship with your spouse. They will grow to be happy and confident people.

^ Never nag your children again and again about their mistakes. Don’t threaten them with punishment or say that the mistake is equal to a sin. They become confused. It upsets their sense of values.

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^ Be loving, kind, and protective, but don’t protect them from consequences. They need to see and learn the painful way once in a while.

^ Don’t promise your children too much as an impulse of your good mood. Be fair and reasonable with your promises. Try to keep your word no matter what. Remember, they’ll feel very disappointed and greatly let down if the promises are broken.

^ Don’t demand explanations from your children. They will never explain themselves the way you do. They will not always be precise and accurate as you think they should be.

^ Forgive your children their bad behavior or bad attitude towards you.

^ Don’t fight with your children. Don’t try to prove your point. Remember that you brought them into the world. Very soon

they will stand on the thorny path of life and will try to make something of it. Only you are their first friend, mentor, an aide in each step. Be patient, fair, and resolve everything peacefully so they will have you to depend on.

^ Don’t be inconsistent in your behavior and actions. That wil greatly confuse your children and they wil lose their respect for you.

^ Don’t scream at your children if they do something unexpected and wrong. They will get angry and will want to do wrong things again.

^ Even if you feel it is “below your dignity,” have the courage to apologize to your children. An honest apology wil gain their respect and love and wil make them feel happy and warm towards you. Their attitude wil come as a nice surprise and a beautiful gift to you.

^ You may think highly about yourself, that you are a great mother, that you accomplished a lot in your life, and became a good person, but don’t ever tell that to your children. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect and fully accomplished. If you do, it will give them a big shock when they discover one day that you are neither.

As Isis, So Is Mama… @ 267

^ Show them sincerely your respect and they will respect you in return.

^ Attract their attention in a smart, innovative way. Joke and chat with your children and they will believe in you, love you, and support you.

^ Never use words of bravado when you want to tell your children about your personal or somebody else’s achievements in the past. They will spot right away when you try too hard to convince them of something.

^ Show by example the way you act from your heart. Children are excellent observers, better than we think. They absorb everything, good or bad like a sponge. If they like what you do, they will duplicate your good endeavors. They will duplicate the bad ones too, if you let them.

^ Remember, children are like beautiful flowers. They are fragile, confused, loving, and delicate. Sometimes they are not fair and even rude. Don’t take to your heart their “downs.”

^ Encourage your children to reach for the stars, dream, and be the best they can be.

^ Albert Einstein said once, “If you want your children to be brilliant, tell them fairy tales. If you want them to be very brilliant, tell them even more fairy tales.” Make your children wonder. Teach them that good actions will always give them strength and inspire the same in others.

Can you imagine the happiness of a young hero of an ancient folk tale from the far North? He entered the Valley of Flowers, saved the lives of his father and many other people, and changed a malicious witch to a beautiful, kind girl. Then he married her and lived happily ever after. I heard it from Grandma in my childhood and told it many times to my children to show them that good actions will always give them strength, confidence, and the desire to do something good with their life.

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Valley of Flowers

Once far away up north a husband and wife lived

in one tribe. The husband went hunting and

brought home birds to feed his family. His wife took care of their four deer, sewed new clothes, and maintained the house. They had a lot of children born, but all of them died—one after another. One day early in the morning the husband went hunting again. While he was absent, his wife gave birth to another son. His face looked like a full moon. His eyes shone like two stars. His delicate skin had a pink glow like a spring dawn. His mother gave him a bath with salty water, and his skin was healthy and smooth. Herbal teas and tasteful vegetable meals also made the boy strong and gave him a great endurance in case something bad happened.

Much time passed, but the boy’s father didn’t come back home from hunting. Days passed one after another. The son grew big and fast in the father’s absence.

Finally the boy decided that his time had come to go and look for his father. One day he made a bow from the branches of a young birch. Then he showed it to his mother and asked her permission to go hunt and try his luck to find his father. His mother gave him her blessings. For the first time in his life the young boy left his parents’ house and went to the unknown and mysterious forest. He didn’t have any food with him, so he had to feed himself with game birds that he shot during the day. At night he fell asleep under a cedar tree. In the morning he washed up in the mountain spring and went further and further.

Once at night a terrible scream woke him up. The young hunter got scared. He bent his bow and stood ready to defend himself. Suddenly he heard a woman laughing. He thought the sound came from the top of the cedar tree where he stood. He looked at the summit of the tree and saw a snowy owl. This was the owl waking him up in the middle of the night and making fun of him.

As Isis, So Is Mama… @ 269

The young man became angry and directed the

arrow towards the owl, but the owl flew to another tree

and said, “OK, brother Ula, don’t be angry. Just remember where you are going and what you want to do, and I will help you. From this time on, you’ll sleep during the day. At night you’ll go search for your father. I can tell you for sure that your father is alive, but he was bewitched by a vicious sorceress. You must save him, mustn’t you?”

The owl flew through the dense forest three nights. Ula followed her step by step. Three days the owl sat in the hollow of a tree, and Ula slept under the same tree. On the fourth night the owl said to Ula, “Now we’ll soon be in the sorceress’ charmed place. She’ll try to put you to sleep, but you shouldn’t fall asleep because you’ll lose control, and you will not be able to save your father. Fill your pockets with stones and small twigs. Put them under your body when you feel drowsy, and then you can guess what you have to do. I’ll be close by; don’t worry.”

At midnight Ula came to a beautiful, sparkling green meadow. He heard a ringing of cymbals and a tinkling of bells. A young girl’s voice was singing a melodic song. Every flower emanated its radiance. Ula could see a yellow thin strip between all flowers of the meadow.

Ula could hardly keep his eyes opened. He lay down on the emerald grass and suddenly he recalled what the owl told him. He gathered stones and twigs and placed them under his body. However, an invisible girl continued to sing her beautiful songs, each one sweeter than the last. The bells continued to tinkle, and the cymbals continued ringing. Ula’s head fell heavily into the grass, but the stones and twigs were uncomfortable. He opened his eyes and exclaimed, “Who does the singing there? Who prevents me from my peaceful sleep with these songs?”

“This is me,” responded a voice of an invisible girl.

“Who are you? Show up.”

“Now I cannot show up. You can find me only at sunrise.”

“Tell me, how can I find you?” Ula asked.

“Do you see the yellow strip? Come close by at sunrise and you will see me,” answered the girl.

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Then Ula heard the outcry of the owl, and he

understood that the time had come to catch the sorceress.

He jumped back on his feet and ran to the yellow strip.

The bells and cymbals were clanking with difficulty. Ula approached the yellow strip and saw a beautiful shining woman’s sash. He grabbed it with both hands, and a girl of unspeakable beauty appeared in front of him. She wore a yellow dress. The youth looked at her and forgot why he had come here. The owl gave him again a loud outcry.

“Why didn’t you wait until sunrise had come? Why didn’t you listen to me?” the girl asked Ula frowning.

“Because now you are powerless,” Ula replied. “You will not bewitch me and I am not afraid of you. Tell me where my father is and what you did to him.”

The girl stood silent in front of him. The owl’s outcry resounded again.

“Tell me immediately where my father is or I’ll tear down your sash and you’ll lose your power!” Ula demanded in anger, ripping her sash from her dress.

“Your father is here, but he is blind. He looked at me at sunrise. Anyone who looks at me at the daybreak becomes blind from my beauty and my bright dress,” the girl replied. “Give me back my sash and I’ll bring you to your father.”

“No, first you bring me to my father, and then I’ll see if I will give you back your sash,” Ula continued.

The bells began tinkling and cymbals ringing again. One red flower opened up. It rocked and then it threw all its petals to the ground. In a blink of an eye, a hunter appeared in front of Ula. This hunter looked like him, Ula.

“I don’t see you, the sorceress,” he said. “Let me touch your sash; it will give me my life back.”

“Your son came after you,” replied the girl. “I give you your freedom because of him, but you will still be blind.”

The hunter was happy anyway. His cheeks became wet from his tears. But the next minute the owl gave her outcry again. Ula looked at the valley and saw myriad flowers there. He guessed that all those flowers were the misfortunate hunters who had been charmed by the sorceress the same as his father had.

As Isis, So Is Mama… @ 271

“Well, what you want to give me is not enough, smart girl. Liberate all the hunters you charmed,” Ula said. “I don’t want even one flower to be left on your meadow.”