Mama Said (16 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The body contact felt so good, it nearly brought tears to her eyes. Maybe the fact that she didn’t feel so alone contributed to her near euphoria. Shane wasn’t physically up to par, not even close. But at least she wasn’t trying to negotiate their way through a maze of threats by herself. Left to her own devices much longer, she couldn’t begin to imagine what might happen.

Gabriella soaked in the comfort of his body against hers, his arms circling her back protectively. And for those few seconds, she allowed her mind to stop working, allowed all her problems to momentarily dissipate into thin air because if she focused on all that lay ahead, she would dissolve into tears.

Shane’s skin still felt too warm, and it was making her nervous. But, for now, she’d concentrate on how far they’d come and the sliver of momentary peace that went along with it.

That story about his mother, the deep affection she’d seen in his eyes when he talked about her, nearly tore Gabriella’s heart out. He was a man who, because of circumstances, kept people at a distance. No doubt the fact that she’d seen him so vulnerable bothered him to no end.

She hated to admit it, but there was definitely something hanging between them. Her family accused her of falling in love too hard and too quickly. But that wasn’t true. She fell into lust at the drop of a hat. But that quickly disappeared when the guy in question either presented no challenge or turned out to be so obnoxious she couldn’t remember how attractive he’d been in the first place.

Shane tried to keep up the pretense he was the bad-ass to end all bad-asses, but there was a vulnerability there she wouldn’t forget.

He slowly slid away from the hug; a crooked smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “What about you? You made me tell you all my secrets, but you’ve given up none of your own.”

She shrugged. “You know most everything about my boring life.”

“I know about Max, but what about other boyfriends?”

“Oh, I get it. You want the real dirt.” She couldn’t help wondering if he was making casual conversation or was genuinely interested. Shane was a tough read. “There’ve been a lot of relationships in my life, but none of them serious.” Did she really want to get into the hurt and betrayal that made up her prior relationships? Now didn’t seem to be the right time.

“You’ve never had the urge to settle down and raise a brood of kids?”

“I’m kind of the spontaneous sort, although my mom cautions I’m a wee bit selfish.” She gave him a flirtatious smile to lighten the mood. “Okay, she says I’m a lot selfish, but she means it in a nice way.”

He smiled and rubbed her hand as they sat next to each other on the bed. If he hadn’t been still so sick looking, she would have jumped his bones right then and there.

“Sometimes you’ve got to be selfish.”

“Maybe. Personally, I think she’s angling for more grandchildren. Luckily, Enrique and Sammie have taken the heat off me for awhile.”

“What happens when we get this all straightened out? Do you have another gig lined up?”

Pretty much the same thing she’d been asking herself. In some ways she didn’t want to leave, despite the fact this had been one hellacious experience so far and she was pretty sure it was going to get worse before it got better. If she had any brains, she would take the next plane back to Florida and lay low until Enrique could come back to fix everything for her. But somehow that didn’t seem very enticing.

“I’m not sure. Then again, I’m not used to planning my gigs.” She shrugged.

He turned to face her and smiled. His face inched closer. His bruises seemed to be lessening or maybe she was getting used to them.

Right now, bruises, contusions, life, and death were distant memories. The only thing she had on her mind was the fact he was going to kiss her.

And she couldn’t wait. The last time it had been her initiative. Now, this was all him.

Then, just like that, he did. His hands went on either side of her head while his lips came down upon hers.

Heaven.

The man was a born kisser. He took his time, like a man savoring a fine wine, enjoying each touch of lip to lip.

As he sucked on her lower lip, he scraped the edge with his teeth, sending a tingle clear through to her toes. Her arms encircled his neck while her tongue probed his mouth.

His chest came down against hers with a bump and his hands slid up her side. Fingers circled her rib cage as his thumb sought out her nipple.

Everything about him drew her in. He was rough around the edges, but there was also that vulnerability he hid behind all that pumped-up bravado.

He moaned. She thought it was a really good sign until he followed it with a string of expletives, Shane-style. She’d never known a man who cursed as much as he did.

“This isn’t going to work,” he ground out.

She felt evidence to the contrary pulsing between her legs. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing can happen between us.” A look of despair replaced his look of concentration. At least he had the decency to look her squarely in the eye when he spoke.

Right now that didn’t feel like a consolation prize. Someone had once said eyes were the window to the soul. She saw a whole lot of pain within the deep blue depths of his.

She shrugged, trying to hide her frustration. Frankly, the guy didn’t look as if he could go a round of sweaty sex anyway. “I—”

He blew out a breath. “I’m not what you need. I don’t get involved. I don’t talk about my past. I’m not a touchy feely kind of guy. I’m not into exploring my sensitive side. I’m all about the here and now and what I can get out of it.” He shrugged. “Believe me, Gabriella, you want to run as far and as fast away from me as you can.”

She clenched her jaw, barely resisting the urge to pop him on the side of the head. The man was making her crazy.

“That’s kind of hard to do, considering we’re trapped together until you, being the macho type, can figure this all out.”

“I feel bad about bringing you into my mess, and I won’t take advantage of the situation. A stand-up guy wouldn’t do that.”

“And you’re nothing if not a stand-up guy, huh?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it must be hard being so macho. So far we have no baths, at least not alone; and now we have an additional caveat—no relationships.” She
tsk
ed. Had he not heard anything she’d said before? “Must be hard to function amidst the rules.”

“You can be a real pain sometimes, Gabriella.”

“And you, on the other hand, are Mr. Sunshine.”

“Yeah, I think it’s in one of the macho guy handbooks.” A smile twittered at the edges of his lips.

She wasn’t about to fall for that aren’t-I-cute grin. And she sure wasn’t going to fall for his attempt at making peace, no matter how charming. She would not let him get away with this. It was about time someone called him on his tendency to stick his head in the sand.

“I know what this is all about. It’s because I asked you about your scar and you told me about your mother. Ooooh, too scary for the great stoic Shane O’Neil.” Her pulse raced at about a million beats per minute. “We weren’t going to have sex. I know that. Geez, you’re coming off a bad concussion. Nothing for you to get all apologetic about. We were necking, that’s all. A bit of creature comfort should be expected after everything we’ve gone through.”

He ignored her comment. “Maybe I’m not attracted to you.” Folding his arms across his chest, he stood.

Ouch. That hurt. “Then maybe you should have a little talk with the lower half of your body. I don’t think your weenie got the message.”

“Testosterone. A dog could rub against me and I’d get aroused.”

“Excuse me. Did you just call me a dog?”

He exploded into a string of expletives. “You know what I mean.”

“No. Maybe you should spell it out for me. I appear to be missing something.”

“You’re beautiful, sexy, smart, clever, and all those good things. But I’m bad news. We’d have sex, and you’ll start to think the relationship is going somewhere, but it won’t because that isn’t where I want to be.”

This guy had issues on top of issues. “Oh, I get it. If we have sex, I’ll fall head over heels in love with you because you are such a stud you will have spoiled me for any other man. That makes a whole heck of a lot of sense.”

“You’re convoluting everything I say.”

“No, I’m interpreting it from ‘Shane speak’ into real language. You don’t need or want a ‘girlfriend’ and you’re afraid if we do the nasty that’s how I’ll interpret things. You think before long, I’ll be picking out china patterns and moving into your apartment.” She blew out a short quick breath to keep her temper from shooting through the roof. “That’s not where my head is. However, you don’t give me enough credit to even contemplate the idea I might think differently. You assume I want to snag you because you’re such a great catch.” Her laugh was bitter. “Hello, Earth to Shane. You’re protecting yourself, not me.”

He shook his head. “I told you before, you don’t know me. You only think you do.”

“Keep on dreaming, hot shot.”

While his stare as well as the locked jaw let her know he wanted to say more about the subject, he didn’t. Instead, he moved the topic to a less provocative arena. “I need to get healthy so I can figure a way out of this.”

If he knew her better, he’d know he’d picked the entirely wrong thing to say. “And what am I, chopped liver? Face it. I’ve been calling the shots for a couple of days now, and things have turned out well so far.” While she’d been anxious for this day to come, now that he wanted to totally take over, she was aggravated.

Shane didn’t respond, but instead got out of bed and began to pace. “This isn’t how I planned for things to happen. You shouldn’t have to worry about protecting me. I never should have involved you in the first place.”

“I don’t think you made that choice. It was made for you.” Things had been put into motion that night when she saw Mack in the alley. She didn’t know how or why it connected with what happened to Shane, but somehow knew it did.

“Let’s go to the airport and get you a ticket out of here. Get you back to your family in Florida. This isn’t your war to fight. The further you get away from me, the better.”

She shook her head. “No way.” She stopped his frenetic pacing with a palm to his chest. If he kept that up, he’d go facedown any second now. “Don’t even think you can fool me. I know what this is about. You want to put distance between us not only to protect me, but to protect yourself as well.”

He placed his hands on his hips. “How so?”

“Big bad Shane O’Neil is scared. You’re scared of me. You were the other day in your apartment, and you are now. You know as soon as you’re feeling better, it will happen. And it won’t be just sexual intimacy between us; there’ll be emotional intimacy as well. And you can’t stand the idea you could ever willingly be that vulnerable. No doubt it bothers you to no end that I saved your life. Because of circumstances, you’ve had to rely on me.”

The thought came to her like a flash. He was avoiding intimacy with her because he realized at some level it scared him. He just didn’t know why. While she knew that before long there’d be miles and miles of geographical separation between them, she wasn’t avoiding the issue.

“Because I told you a few things doesn’t mean you know me.”

Avoidance was the only way he knew how to deal with anything. Most of the time, she was an argue-to-the-death kind of gal. Today, maybe because he looked so pathetic covered in bruises, or maybe because it was an argument she didn’t necessarily want to win, she gave in. Talking about what lay between them wasn’t keeping either one of them alive. “Maybe we should concentrate on the case and leave our attraction out of the discussion for right now.”

“You threw it in. I was trying to make sure you were safe.”

“By sending me to my family? Do you think leaving you here to die will make me feel good?”

“I’m not going to die.” Shane snarled the words as if she were the person threatening his life.

“You may feel one hundred percent better, but you look like crap. I’m sure you’re feverish since it’s hotter than hell in here and you’re walking around with a sweatshirt on. You’re weak and vulnerable despite what you might want to think.”

“It’ll take me a couple of days to get back my strength, and then I’m putting you on a plane.”

“In a couple of days, this might all be academic. Let’s concentrate on what we can be doing now.”

He plopped down onto the bed. “We’re near the university, right? Plug my flash drive into a computer at the campus library and make copies of everything relative to the case. Then pull up my e-mail account. See if anything was sent to me from Vince before the accident.”

“If the police are involved, don’t you think they would have hacked into your computer by now and deleted anything they didn’t want you to get your hands on?”

“I’ve got a couple of accounts I only access from independent locations, like libraries, places they’d have a hard time tracking.”

“Brilliant.” She slipped on shoes and put on a Wisconsin Badgers baseball cap, pulling her hair through the gap in back. “I’m pretty sure I saw a sign for the University Memorial Library at the corner. Give me your e-mail address and password and I’ll see what I can find.”