Authors: Niobia Bryant
“Why couldn't she stay with you?” Julius countered.
“Man, please, our one bedroom is tight enough quarters for me and Tamara.”
The two men were at a stalemate.
“Look, Caress fell on hard times but she's not one of these chicks out to gank a brother for his cash. She's an independent, working woman. Hell, we had to bribe her into staying here.”
“With?”
“Huh?” Kendrick asked, obviously confused.
“What'd you have to bribe her with?”
“Not telling you she was pregnant if you happened to call.”
Julius frowned.
“What are you gonna do?” Kendrick asked, loosening his tie.
Julius walked over to the mahogany bar in the corner of the room and poured himself a shot of Courvoisier. Thinking of his predicament, he tripled it. “Now he asks me,” he muttered into his drink murderously, before he gulped it down in one swig with a wince.
Julius released a heavy breath. “So this is what it feels like between a rock and a hard place?”
Kendrick rose to walk over to the bar. “It's just until she gets on her feet, Julius.”
Julius felt the tension increase at the back of his smooth neck. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
Kendrick poured himself a glass of ginger ale and looked over at Julius in astonishment. “I'm suggesting that she stay here. What were you thinking?”
Julius reached down to pull a can of Pepsi from the mini-fridge, taking a healthy swig to kill the aftertaste of the liquor. “I'm suggesting paying for an abortion.”
“No abortion. Tamara already asked.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Damn,” Julius swore, rubbing his beard. “If I agreed to the absurdity, where's she supposed to sleep? My only other bedroom is set up as my home office.”
Kendrick wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Julius immediately shook his head, adamant. “No. No. Hell no. I'm not looking to play house. Sex and living together adds up to one sticky ass situation.”
Footsteps echoed on the stairs. Julius's eyes darted to the entrance of the living room just as Caress appeared.
This woman was going to be the mother of his childâ¦
if
the child was his.
Were prenatal paternity tests safe?
She walked straight up to him, her eyes swollen and red from tears. “I'm sorry.”
Julius swallowed back a desire to pull her into his arms. “For?”
“All of this,” she said, looking pointedly down at her stomach.
Julius nodded. “It took both of us, so don't apologize.”
Caress nodded.
Instinctively, Julius could tell that she was embarrassed by her situation. He looked over her head to Kendrick. His friend's eyes said, “Do the right thing.” He looked to Tamara, who now leaned against the doorframe, and her eyes said, “Don't make me whup your ass!”
“Come on, Kendrick,” he said reluctantly.
“Where we going?”
Julius looked down at Caress. “To buy whatever I need to change my office back into a bedroom.”
He strode out of the living room before anyone could say a word.
Kendrick hopped up, moving to kiss his wife before leaving the house behind Julius.
Tamara moved over to hug Caress's petite frame close in a motherly fashion.
Caress swallowed back hormonal tears.
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“I'm going to have a baby.” Caress whispered the words softly as she lay resting on Julius's bed.
Because the furniture for the other bedroom wouldn't be delivered until tomorrow, Julius had given her use of his bedroom for one last night. Caress would only admit to herself that she was a little disappointed that they wouldn't share the same bed and pick up where they left off.
Obviously Julius didn't feel the same way. That night clearly meant nothing to him, and a relationship was the last thing he wanted. In fact, since Julius returned late this afternoon he had kept his distance.
If that's how he wanted it then that was fine. Caress was not a woman to force herself on any man. Not even one she was pregnant by.
Truthfully, she was happy about the pregnancy. Okay, not at first. But once she realized that she couldn't bear to have an abortion and would have a beautiful baby after about nine months, well she got happy.
Tamara's assertion that Julius was not the kind of man to be a deadbeat dad had pleased her even more.
“As long as he's a good father to you,” Caress spoke to her child, her hand on her still-flat womb. “Then I'll be fine about everything else.”
She wasn't any less anxious about giving up her space and independence than Julius was. But the first rule of motherhoodâas far as she was concernedâwas you do whatever, whenever for your child. She would give her child something she hadn't had since she was two years old. A mother.
Caress was climbing out of the bed when someone rang the doorbell. Knowing Julius had secluded himself in his darkroom in the basement, Caress made her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She was just opening the front door when the door leading from the basement opened.
A tall and beautiful dark-skinned woman stood on the porch in a massive sable that was open and showing that she wore absolutely not a stitch of clothing underneath it. Obviously she thought Julius was going to open the door.
Well she thought wrong
, Caress thought, frowning. “Excuse you?” she asked with attitude.
The woman didn't even bother to close her fur as she stepped past Caress into the foyer. “Julius?” she asked, her tone obviously confused.
Caress turned, realizing that he stood behind her.
Julius looked from Karina, his forgotten date, to Caress, the woman pregnant with his child, and then looked heavenward.
Julius forced his eyes away from the sight of enough T&A to make
Playboy
look G-rated. He just didn't have the courage to face Caress if he acted on the temptation. Not that he owed her anything. Right? Okay, fine. He felt like he did.
Julius leaned forward and gently pulled the edges of Karina's coat together. “Karina, Iâ”
She gave him a look to kill as she whipped the fur back open with flare. “Julius,” she said with plenty of question and annoyance and every other piece of drama that he didn't want to deal with right now.
“Don't let me interrupt,” Caress said softly, before she pushed through Julius and Karina and dashed up the stairs.
“Are you married?” Karina snapped, looking past Julius's broad shoulder at Caress's retreating figure. “Shacking? Involved? Looking for a ménage? Hellâ¦
busy?
What's going on?”
Julius shook his head. “Karina, plans have changed. I meant to call you earlierâ”
Karina looked offended before she nudged her fur opened a bit wider. “Do you know how many men would die to be you right now?” she asked with a slight jiggle and wiggle of her breasts.
Julius took a very deep swallow over a suddenly huge lump in his throat. He lightly grasped her elbow and steered her back toward his front door. The brown tips of her hard nipples poked just past the edge of the fur, tempting him, but Julius ignored the stirring below his waist as a need to check on Caress topped anything else he might feel. “Trust me, I know, but it can't be avoided.”
“Three whole months Julius.” Karina finally closed her fur and tied the thick leather belt around it snugly. “No one has ever made me wait so long.”
Julius felt relief and a little regret, but he pressed on. “Different time. Different place. Differentâ¦situation. I would be all over you like white on rice but it is what it is.”
Karina's shoe caught on the edge of the bamboo rug as Julius eased her across the threshold onto the porch. His grip tightened on her elbow to make sure she didn't trip. “I'll call you,” he said, just before he flashed her his winning smile and politely closed the door on her stunned, open-mouthed expression.
Julius made sure to lock the door before he turned and jogged up the stairs to hisâcorrection Caress'sâbedroom. He knocked twice.
Nothing.
He knocked twice again using his knuckle, the gold from his fraternity ring flashing. “Caress?” he called out softly, leaning his head forward a bit.
The door suddenly swung open and she walked out, sending a cool breeze over his body as she passed him dressed in her leather coat and snug woolen cap. “I guess we should work out something for moments like this. Maybe a tie on the door or leaving the porch light on,” she told him over her shoulders as she walked like she was trying to win a marathon.
Julius's head swung to the right to watch her head and body slowly disappearing as she headed down the stairs. He followed her. “That's not necessaryâ”
Caress was at the front door pulling her keys from her pocket. “I'll head to Tamara's or the movies or something to give you privacy.”
“Caressâ”
SLAM.
Just like that, Julius was left with nothing but the wind breezing against his face as Caress left the house quicker than he could stop her. Moments later, lights flashed in the depths of his eyes as she backed her car out of the driveway.
He didn't bother opening the door and attempting to chase after her. Caress was gone and there was no stopping her. Besides, he didn't ask her to make assumptions.
Truth? He didn't ask her to move in here and interrupt his life either.
Yes, he had wanted to hook up with Caress again, but live with her? Have a baby with her? That all went
way
beyond another steamy X-rated sexfest that made his toes curl up and his dick straighten out.
Releasing a deep sigh, he tried to maneuver his neck to release the tension he felt across his broad shoulders as he made his way back down into his darkroom. As soon as he reached the basement floor he flipped the switch to bask the room in darkness. The red-colored safelight gave him just enough light to see what he was doing without exposing the paper to brighter light that would destroy it.
His darkroom was his savior. Every element of the process of developing film was a challenge to him. Digital photography helped to make the actual need for film developing archaic, but like a true artist and appreciator of his craft, Julius used any opportunity he could to develop his own photography. From taking the shot to seeing it on print, he was the master of his craftâ¦and that was just the way he wanted it.
For now, the only thing he wanted to focus on was developing the reels and reels of the black-and-white film he brought back from his trip. His color films were all digital since the process of developing was far more complex than black-and-white film. His book would have an eclectic mix of pictures representing everything he discovered, loved, and cherished during his days in Africa.
His
Africa.
For the next two hours he became lost in his work. His photos were about more than just the tribal shots and the large stretches of wilderness. He had those and more. The culture. The food. The modern day amenities. The art. The architecture.
In moments the slowly developing images in the citric acid stop bath would make him smile at a memoryâlike the laughing faces of the students at Oprah's Leadership Academy in South Africa. Or make him feel inspiredâlike the school in the Njala Kendema village. Or make him sadâlike the many faces of the women and children dying from AIDS.
He would never forget his time there, and he hoped those who purchased his book would feel inspired to experience it all for themselves. There was no denying that a trip back to the motherland was something any and all African-Americans should experience.
One day when I have kids I'll take them
, he thought.
His gut clenched.
One day wasn't as far off as it had been yesterday.
Caress was supposedly pregnant with his child. In around six months he would be a father. Jesus.
Growing up in Stellar Home projects to a mother addicted to dope and never really missing a father who was never around, Julius had made a better life for himselfâ¦by himself. His goals were accomplished. He was a college graduate. He was a celebrated and noted photographer. He owned his own homesâone here in his beloved hometown of Newark and an apartment in Miami. Not bad for a orphan kid from the projects whose mother only gave him two things he cherished before she died of an overdose. The first was bringing him into the world, and the second was a used Poloroid camera from a yard sale at some church.
But now everything was on the verge of changing because baby mama drama had never been a part of his plan. Still, he would never be the deadbeat his own father was. Ready or not, Julius Jones would soon add the label of father to his biography.
Feeling the tension in his shoulders and neck again, Julius gave up on trying to get any more work done. He crossed the floor to bask the room with light before he washed his hands in the small black sink in the corner of the basement. Before he climbed the stairs, he cast one last look over his shoulder at the dozens of photos drying on the lines stretched across the ceiling.
In the foyer, Julius checked out the window to see if Caress's battered little Jetta was parked out front. He frowned a little and glanced down at his watch before he turned and strode slowly to his study. It was a little after midnight and Caress was still making herself scarce for him.
At this exact moment, Caress was somewhere out there thinking he was with another woman. The whole damn thing was crazy to him.
The only thing about to get wet was his tongue.
Julius headed down the hall to his kitchenâhis first time in it since his return from Africa. What he saw made him want to walk back to the Motherland. His newly renovated kitchen, complete with Viking appliances, granite countertops, and tiled floors looked like a tornado had gone through it.
A tornado named Caress.
Irritation caused his jaw to tighten as his hawk-like eyes took in every infraction on his peace.
The dishes on the counter. The wet dishcloth balled up on the edge of the sink. The few sandwich crumbs in the center of the island. The row of empty Snapple bottles lined up by the back door like prisoners. The haphazard way the slats of the wooden blinds hung at the window over the sink. The random items atop his normally clear and clutter-free countertop. The boxes of cereal atop his fridge. The sticky stains on the floor in front of his fridge.
Julius's frown deepened.
Is that Kool-Aid?
He thought back to the night he spent at Caress's apartment. True, most of his focus had been on tasting and touching every inch of her body, but he hadn't missed that her little studio apartment could use some work.
At first he attributed the mess to a working woman rushing to get ready for a date; now, however, he realized he'd sniffed out a slob.
Julius turned on the WBGO's Jazz 88 station and turned up the classic Miles Davis joint as loud as it would go before he got to work making his kitchen look like it was ready for a photo shoot in
Architectural Digest
again. He couldn't help but mutter to himself as he worked. He felt like a bear coming back to find Goldilocks had taken up residence in his house.
A piece of him was tempted as hell to leave the mess for Caress but maybe this
was
clean to her. The thought of that made him nervous as hell. He'd left the rats and roaches behind a long time ago. Living in a hellhole was not his idea of upward mobility. Far from it.
“Damn,” he swore, as he continued to work.
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Caress left the movie theater and couldn't for the life of her describe the flick she'd just sat through. Images of Julius making love to Karina with the same ferocity and passion he had with on her all those months ago had her head good and messed up. Especially since she left them to do the do.
What right did she have to throw Karina out on her ass?
What right did she have to demand that Julius send her and her too tall, too thin, too hungry-looking self from there.
No, instead she took the high road and left her baby's daddy to his booty callâ¦and he let her go.
Caress rolled her eyes as she felt the need to pee. That and the constant morning sicknessâthat wasn't isolated to just the morningsâwas her reminder of the baby she carried. She wasn't showing yet at just twelve weeks but her body was starting to feel it.
She turned around and went back inside the movie theater on Springfield Avenue and Bergen Street. She decided that trying to risk getting back to the house before she relieved herself was risky.
“What's up, mami?”
Caress saw the tall dark-skinned brother trying to get her attention as she practically ran to the ladies room, but she ignored him. She didn't mean to be rude, but when you gotta goâ¦you gotta go.
She was walking back out of the bathroom when she almost walked into the same man. She stopped short and the bathroom door swung closed and bumped her solidly against her full behind.
“How you doing?” he said, his white teeth shining brightly against his smooth, dark complexion.
“Uhm, I'm good,” she said with obvious hesitation before she took two steps over to get some space.
“Iâ”
Caress held up her hand and released a breath. Her nipples were starting to throb and she really wanted to climb into bed and forget about Karina, Julius, Karina and Julius, and everything else too. “Listen, I'm pregnant and I live with my baby's daddy,” she told him with no nonsense. His whole face changed just like that as his eyes darted down to her flat belly and back up to her face.
Caress bit back a smile.
Poor baby
, she thought as he turned and walked away.
He was cute, too
.
She slid her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket as she made her way out of the movie theater again and into the cold winter air. As she made her way to her car, she thought about just what her situation meant in terms of dating. She snorted as she pulled her keys out of her purse.
“Let's see⦔ she said aloud to herself as she unlocked the driver's side door.
“I'm unemployed. Homeless. Pregnant.” Caress slid inside her car and laughed, just a touch bitterly, as she said a quick prayer she'd have a drama-free start of the engine. “Yes, men of the world, bringâ¦itâ¦on.”
The car started without major fuss and Caress was more than glad to drive her little Jetta out of the busy parking lot and onto Springfield Avenue headed towardâ¦
Toward where? Home? Well, it wasn't her home and she was very aware of that fact. Just as aware as she was that Julius was not her man.
Was Karina gone? Was she spending the night?
Caress felt her cheeks warm noticeably as she pulled to a stop at a red light. She thought about heading to Tamara and Kendrick's when she left Julius to his date, but her embarrassment pushed her to come up with something else. Who in her right mind would want to admit the truth about why she had to leave the house?