Make Me (11 page)

“Barbie, I appreciate that and I have a proposition for you. As far as I am concerned, you are the only girl here who deserves to win this competition. I know a Dom who is in the market for a sub just like you. He has many of the same fetishes that I have noted you have. I have already sent him a picture of you and he is smitten, to say the least. As soon as the competition is over he wants to meet you.”

I smile, as I watch Barbie’s face beam.

At least someone is having a good day…

Kathy

I stand around the corner out of sight and watch Barbie leave David’s room. My million dollar dream is going right out the window and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.

Granted, I will be famous and I am sure to be a hit with my home-town friends, but fifteen minutes of fame isn’t enough for a girl like me who craves the spotlight like I do. I need this to put me on the reality TV show circuit. Maybe I am kissing the wrong ass. Maybe I need to do a little more sucking up to Linda. Screw David, he doesn’t have the power to make me a star. In his world, he is the star in the limelight. In my world, I don’t share that privilege. Yes… I will have to try and get closer to Linda so I can secure my chance at fame. To a girl like me, fame is more important than fortune. It’s my drug of choice and I’m like a junkie with my first shot. I developed a taste for it a long time ago. My Mommy Dearest saw to that with all of the beauty pageants I was subjected to throughout my childhood. This is my chance to make it big and if it means me kissing some ass to get it, then so be it. It’s only a matter of kissing the right ass…

Linda

I make my way into work the next day with a new vigor. I am never of the temperament to let a man get in the way of my business. I have been making my own way from the time I was sixteen and if I know how to do anything, it’s survive.

“Okay ladies, we are down to the wire on this show. This weekend at ‘The Dungeon’ we will experience the big reveal. You ladies have done quite well, granted, I have had to nip at your heels some.” I chuckle, as I continue speaking. “I am only doing it to produce excellence. Regardless of what people’s opinions are about reality TV, it’s hot in pop culture right now and I want all of us to put out the quality I know we are all capable of.”

There is a commotion in the room and I look up from my tablet to view a mass of flowers with a voice coming from behind them. “Linda Jenkins?”

I nod at my assistant to go and take care of it, as I chuckle at the—“
Oh, who sent her flowers,”
and the other various responses the florist evoked from the ladies. I want these girls to keep their minds on business. Many times accomplishing that means me doing a certain amount of ‘herding’ to keep them going in the right direction.

“Okay ladies, back to work and have a great day.”

I have phone calls to make so I head back to my office. The huge vase of flowers on my desk is beautiful, but the smell is what catches my attention. Two dozen roses have made their presence known to more than just one of my senses. I don’t take the time to read the card because I have already guessed who they were probably from.

I sit down and begin the task of making phone calls and answering e-mails. I’m so engulfed in the phone call I am presently on and the task of having five or six windows on my computer open that I didn’t notice David entering my office.

I continue my phone call and eye him just to let him know that I am aware of his presence. I watch as he loosens his tie and moves his neck back and forth as if he is irritated.

The straight line of his thin lips clearly lets me know he isn’t pleased about the flowers, not that I could care any less than I already do.

He pops the card out of the holder and flicks his thumb over it, making a popping sound as he reads it aloud.

Beautiful Lady,

Here’s to keeping it real…

Yours, Greg…

The disgust on his face is evident, as evident as my attitude of being composed and unperturbed. I watch as he turns sharply on the toe of his designer shoe and makes his way out the door.

Works for me, David. Works for me…

It also works for me that Greg calls and invites me to lunch. I find myself saying yes to his invitation in part due to being pissed at David, and in part due to the fact that I really enjoyed his company last night.

He tells me where to meet him and I’m glad he didn’t offer to pick me up because of the tension between David and me right now. I don’t want to do anything to take his mind off of getting through this TV show. Whether I like it or not, I still need him to finish out this week and then we can both go our separate ways.

Linda

I sit to have lunch with Greg in a posh dining club. Though part of me had accepted the invitation to prove a point, another part of me had done it because I truly do enjoy his company.

“It wasn’t necessary to bring me here, Greg. I could have just as easily eaten take-out in the park.”

“That is one of the reasons that I like you Linda—you keep it real.”

I set my fork down and look at Greg with sincerity before I speak. I don’t want to offend him with the question that I am getting ready to ask. “Greg, what got you into the BDSM lifestyle?”

He chuckles, “I like to watch pretty girls squirm.”

I roll my eyes and threaten him with: “Well, I can always find another Dom to ask…”

I watch as his expression gets serious. “It boils down to a couple of things for me personally, Linda: Control and trust. I work a crazy job where I see some crazy stuff that has no rhyme or reason to it. I like control in the bedroom.”

I could feel myself flushing under the heat of his gaze. Why do these guys have to be so intense? It was disarming to say the least.

“I also require a deeper level of commitment and intensity in my relationships. It is one of two ways with me, Linda: Either it is no strings attached play, or a full on, intense, 24/7, BDSM, monogamous relationship.”

He leans in with a serious look, pinning me to my chair with his eyes as he speaks. “Linda, whether you realize it or not, you have sub tendencies. Being kinky isn’t something that you do, it’s who you are. You’re born that way, pretty lady.”

I find that his candidness is making me squirm in my seat and I can’t help but wonder if he has a point.

This reality show has opened up a new world to me and in just a few days I am going to have to let it go. Whether I want to admit it or not, I will never be the same.

I can feel a part of me grieving at the thought of letting it go. Unless you have experienced it in some form or another, you really don’t grasp how deeply rooted in you the BDSM lifestyle can become.

It is like tentacles have wrapped around my soul and I will never be the same. There will always be a hidden part of me now that will gravitate towards others in the lifestyle. I can only hope that it will fill the void that I already feel due to David no longer being part of my life. This is the only time that I can ever remember committing the unpardonable sin in business—never get emotionally involved. I have done just that. I have become emotionally involved with not only David, but the BDSM community as a whole.

Linda

I make my way into the high end boutique.

The final shoot and the big reveal is tomorrow night and I need something to wear because I will be hosting the show.

I’m not crazy about being on TV and I try to just not think about it. Most people don’t realize how nerve racking it can be in front of a TV camera.

It is very easy for your thought processes to begin running amok when you know there are millions of eyes scrutinizing every detail of the show. Many of these women don’t realize yet that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. They will learn though—boy, will they ever learn.

One of the sales girls makes her way over and speaks under her breath, “You’re the lady who is doing that reality show at ‘The Dungeon,’ aren’t you?”

“Yes. In fact, that is why I’m here. I need something to wear for the big reveal tomorrow.”

“I bet he picks that Barbie girl because she seems to be the only one who is really into the lifestyle. The rest of them seem like they are just along for the
fame ride.
David isn’t the type to let the BDSM community be made a mockery of.”

“Oh, so you know David?” I asked.

Wanting to kick myself for even giving a shit.

She giggles under her breath and whispers, “I frequent the club. Every girl in that place wants David as a Dom, but he always tells them that it’s only ‘play.’”

I can imagine that it is only play being that he is a player.

She must have read the look on my face because it explains what she says next.

“Oh no, it isn’t what you think. David is monogamous when he has a sub. David is a widower; you didn’t know? He was married to his sub and she died five years ago in a car accident. Greg, got the drunk driver off on a technicality and they have hated each other ever since.”

The sales lady continues to chatter on but, to be honest, she lost me after dropping that bomb shell.

I feel like such an ass for judging David the way that I have. I will wait and get the whole story though; he isn’t getting off the hook that easy.

Linda

I am glad for the sales lady who had been able to help me with my wardrobe selection. She had pushed the sparsely sequin laden, chiffon, teal dress in my direction and declared that it was perfect because it would make my eyes pop.

It is a lower cut in the front than I would normally wear, but I find that pasties and double sided tape keeps everything in place. I pair it with silver four inch heels that have the same clear sequins, daintily sprinkled over the silver strap that falls just short of my perfectly French manicured toes.

The bottom of the dress falls in loose ruffles and I find myself twirling in a circle just to see it flare out when the wind hits beneath it. I feel like a princess—
with no prince.

I allow my mind to wander as I finish the last touches on my ensemble. I can’t say that I haven’t lost some respect for Greg when I heard what he has done to David.

Isn’t the BDSM community supposed to be about having each other’s backs? I chide myself for being naïve in my thinking. Regardless of what community or clique I am dealing with, people are people and we are only human.

I myself am well aware of grey area business decisions I have made in the past. I know I am only getting the ‘rumor mill’ version of things. I also know there are always two sides to a story… and then there’s the truth.

I grab my clutch and declare silently to myself,
show time.
It is time to put anything else on the back burner until after I get through tonight. I’ve got to take care of business and I, of all people, know not to mix business with pleasure—boy, do I ever know…

Just get through tonight, Linda, just get through tonight.

David

I take one last look in the mirror. I have been advised to wear a tux for this last shoot. As far as I’m concerned I’ll wear a bag over my head if it means I get to celebrate this circus being over.

I run my manicured hand through my long, dark, layered hair. My sharp jaw line and dimpled chin have always been a hit with the ladies, as have my eyes and my thin straight lips that are usually set in a very serious manner. I may look like the internet pics that subs drool over, but it is all the ‘real deal’ with me—No hype—No bullshit!

If there is one word I would use to describe me, it would be intense. I am known for being a serious, no-bullshit type. Even though many of the subs in my club may fantasize about me being their Dom, very few could handle my fierce nature.

Even just a scene with me is so violently all-consuming that very few subs will play with me. Sandy is about the only one who can handle my level of intensity.

Though Sandy is crazy about me, I just don’t have that spark towards her that I need to pursue anything deeper than
play
. The only person I’ve connected with on a core level, since the death of my wife, is Linda.

I pull at the cuffs of my shirt, adjust my Rolex, and grab my jacket—it is show time.