Authors: Harry Haskell
Carrie visited us later that summer, the summer of '27, and stayed for a fortnight. She told me all about home and the family and Colonel Lindbergh's recent visit to Dayton. I was particularly interested in her eyewitness report of that event. “Lindy” had just made his solo flight across the Atlantic and was hounded by well-wishers everywhere he went, the way the boys were in the old days. We read in the newspapers about Orv having him out to dinner with some other notables and taking him to the laboratory afterward to inspect the original flying machine. What the reporters
didn't
say, according to Carrie, was that a mob of celebrity seekers had surrounded the house while the guests were at the table and made a mess of Little Brother's precious plantings. What a disaster! In the end, Colonel Lindbergh made a brief appearance from the balcony off my old room and sent everyone home happy.
Carrie is taking good care of Orvâthat is some comfort to me, at least. Heaven knows she's as devoted to him as I am. Such a hard worker too, ever since she came to us as a little spit of a girl. Even when she comes out to Kansas City on “vacation,” it's as much as
I can manage to shoo her out of the kitchen. If I don't keep a close eye on her, she sneaks off to make a batch of her special orange marmalade or some other dish she knows I'll like. How she finds the time and energy to write so many letters I'll never knowâbut am I ever grateful that she does! If it weren't for her and a few other loyal friends, I would feel completely cut off from my old life. My own record as a correspondent is not what it ought to be, I fear.
Writing, which used to be my delight, has become an almost forgotten art with me.
Carrie's visit sticks out in my memory because she happened to arrive just after I had my new will drawn up. Some way it seemed right and fitting to have a friend from home by my side as I made provision for disposing of my worldly goodsâsuch as they are. Harry has always insisted on keeping our accounts separateâhe wouldn't let me invest a penny of my savings to help buy the
Star
. A very safe and sensible investment it would have been too, as things turned out. But I got even with him:
I left him my entire estate free and clearâapart from a few small bequests to Carrie, Lorin, and other special people. Orv will get a thousand dollars when I go to my reward. Of course, Little Brother has abundant means of his ownâbut I could never turn my back on him the way he has on me.
In some strange way, the work of toting up every one of my possessions, drafting my last will and testament, having it witnessed and notarized and everythingâall of that made me feel
less
secure about facing the future instead of
more.
Dear, sweet, passionate Harryâsometimes I almost wish he didn't love me quite as much as he says he does. He has already lost one beloved partner; what if something should happen to
me
? That scares me to think
about. Love conquers allâall except death, as I know from bitter experience! “Omnia vincit amor.” How does the rest of the verse go? “Et nos cedamus amori”â“Let us give in to love.” Aye, there's the rub! We have given in to love with our whole hearts, Harry and Iâand we must both take our chances, it seems.
No sooner had we sent Carrie home than we packed up the car and set out for the Colorado mountains. Harry and Isabel used to vacation in Estes Park, until she became too ill to travel. When he proposed the trip, I jumped in with both feet. The altitude in the Rockies made me unable to climb or do much else, but we took some dandy automobile ridesâand Long's Peak Inn is
nearly
as nice and comfortable as the camp on Georgian Bay. All the time we were there, I couldn't stop thinking about Orv summering on the island without me. To think that it had only been a year since we celebrated “our” birthday together with Harry at the bay. At least Orv had Griff Brewer to keep him companyâand I was so glad that Griff was taking charge of the flying machine and seeing it set up at the Science Museum.
On the drive home from Colorado at the end of August, Harry and I had the surprise of our lives. He was called up at half past four in the morning, at North Platte, Nebraska, to hear that Mr. Kirkwood, the principal owner of the
Star
, had died unexpectedly at Saratoga, New York. By a quarter to six, we were on our way in a dense, ghastly fog, having had a good breakfast at the Union Pacific station. We drove five hundred miles that day and pulled up at the
Star
office at nine o'clock that night. We had a busy week, with out-of-town people coming for the funeral. We had nine to dinner one night and eleven the nextâall in the hot weather too, but we survived.
Once the excitement died down, the staff had to consider the question of how to take up Mr. Kirkwood's stock in the company. Harry and his associates had begged, borrowed, and mortgaged themselves to the limit when they bought the paper the year before
.
The thought of taking on still more debt was more or less paralyzing. But it all turned out very happily. Harry even had a nice surprise when his next paycheck came in. He and two other men had a very substantial increase in salaries, on the ground that they had more responsibility. It has really been a fairy story for Harry, who has worked all his life for the
Star
on just a moderate salary. I tell him I brought him good luck! However, we're not spending any of the extra money. We are busy plunking it away for a rainy day.
Mr. Kirkwood's death, coming on the heels of his wife's, might have doomed the staff's dream of running the show ourselves. He had invested two and a half million dollars of his personal fortune in the
Star
, on top of the millions the bank had loaned us to purchase the paper. Fortunately, the directors had had the foresight to take out a substantial policy on Mr. Kirkwood's life. That enabled us to buy back his stock in the company without having to borrow to the hilt. Katharine and I received our share of the insurance money, but we never actually saw it: the bank took everything before we got our hands on it. Not that we have any reason to complain. Assuming all continues to go well,
Star
stock will be very valuable in a few years' time.
I admit I had my doubts about Mr. Kirkwood's fitness to run a great newspaper. Being the son-in-law of the founder was hardly
sufficient qualification in itself. In the end, though, he did both the
Star
and Mr. Nelson proud. Not long before he died, he paid to have a Tiffany stained-glass window installed in the Nelsons' honor at Grace and Holy Trinity Cathedral. He may have lacked the Old Man's genius, but his heart was in the right place. When all is said and done, Mr. Kirkwood treated the staff more than fairly. How many other newspaper proprietors would have paid for my trip abroad after Isabel died? The employee stock-ownership plan was his creation, and he left the
Star
in a stronger financial position than it had been in for many years. It's thanks to him that Katharine and I are
our own masters nowâor will be as soon as we get the mortgage paid off.
Katharine and I are fortunate in so many ways. We have every reason to feel optimistic about the future. If only the past didn't weigh her down so heavily. Orville will never relent, I fear, and she can never let him go.
Kate wrote to me any number of times after she moved away. There was no mistaking the handwriting on the envelopesâthe script neat and round and carefully formed, just like when she was learning her letters as a little girl. But the Kansas City postmark struck me like a slap in the face. I never could bring myself to open the letters, let alone answer them. Call me hard-hearted or what you willâas far as I'm concerned, Kate as good as died the day she walked out of this house. Carrie spent a couple of weeks in Kansas City that first summer. She keeps up a regular correspondence
with Swes, as do Griff, Anne, and Stef. Between them, they tell me everything I want to know about her married life.
It's not as if I don't miss her, God knows. When Colonel Lindbergh was here and the house was overrun with gawkers and reporters, I'd have given my eyeteeth to have her back. Kate would have sent those hooligans packing in two minutes flat. Under the circumstances, I had no choice but to ask our honored guest to appeal to the trespassers to leave. He did it with good grace, I'll say that for Mr. Lindbergh. And he has always had the common courtesy to acknowledge that he is riding on the Wright brothers' coattailsâwhich is evidently more than can be expected from the Smithsonian outfit. But I suppose the Wright brothers are ancient history now to most people. Watching Mr. Lindbergh fly over the city that day in the
Spirit of St. Louis
, I could hardly believe that twenty-three years had passed since Will and I made our first practice flights over Huffman Prairie.
Colonel Lindbergh was born and bred to take center stage. The public can't get its fill of him, and neither can the reporters. Well, he can have his “Lindbergh-mania,” and much good may it do him. Will and I tired of “Wright-mania” fast enough, I reckon. Those interminable ticker-tape parades, luncheons, dinners, speeches, ceremoniesâthey were just a sideshow, an annoying distraction. Our work was the main thing. We never went in for self-advertising. We never sought fame or wealth. All we ever wanted was our just deserts. I ask you, is it right that the whole country was going gaga over Lindbergh at the very moment I was packing up the original Wright flyer to be shipped to England? Is it right that I should still be fighting for Will's and my work to be
recognized, while those who profited from it are showered with accolades?
Poor Orv! No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stay out of the headlines. Harry and I had to laugh when we read about the dedication of Wright Field a year or so ago. Bubbo looked fit to be tied in the newspaper photos, as if he were performing an unpleasant dutyâwhich was undoubtedly true! The US Army has finally done the boys proud, and I for one am grateful for it. But goodness me, how Orv does hate making a spectacle of himself! It must have been like pulling teeth for him to watch President Coolidge present the Hubbard Medal to Colonel Lindbergh. I can just see him on that stage at the Washington Auditorium, sitting as quiet as a church mouse and hoping no one would notice him for all the other dignitaries.
Harry and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary in November of 1927âa milestone! I remember thinking that it had been a happy year on the whole, but all the time I'd had a cloud over me. Harry still doesn't know, I hope, how much I worry over Orv. It does no good, but I can't forget him and I don't
want
to forget him. Dear Little Brother! There is no use to write to him. He returned my last letter unopened. It was a long time before I could tell Harry about it, and I have told no one else but Griff. It is so incredible. To think that we used to shun reporters like the plague, and now I depend on them for news of my own brother!
Lulu is the only member of the family we see on a more or less regular basis out here. Poor Louâshe has been almost a vagabond
since Reuch died and hardly calls Kansas City home any longer, I believe. She is unsettled and doesn't know just what to do with herself. We still get together for Christmas with her and her children and their families. There are several small children in the outfit, and we all enjoy their enthusiasm over the Christmas tree. When I was a girl, I resented Lou for taking Reuch away from homeâbut she was lovely to me when I told her about Harry's proposal of marriage. I know she would have been pleased to accompany Ivonette at the wedding, if I had asked her to. Lou is a real musician. I used to keep the Steinway piano in the living room tuned for herâshe plays such fine music always and makes no virtue of it at all!
Kansas City would feel much more like home if only Reuch were still here to keep me company. Harry includes me in everything, of course, but the newspaper is a man's world, and I don't have much to contribute to it anywayâthough he does try to share it with me and always asks my opinion on whatever topic he happens to be writing about. But I do so miss my family and friendsâwomen friends especially. I like women awfully well, in spite of some of our shortcomings! If circumstances were different, I wouldn't think twice about taking part in an interesting, worthwhile organization like the Association of University Womenâonly
I fear it would be like rubbing salt in the wound for Orv to see my name in print.
For all my disappointments, I find life here interesting, and all the
Star
connections are likewise. Harry is pure gold. I never saw such unselfishness and consideration for other people, and he is always cheerful and good-natured. I was afraid I would find it quiet and dull out here after all the excitement we have had in our family
for years. Not a bit of it! What with our trying to own the
Star
on a shoestring and the owner of the rival newspaper suing to upset the sale, it hasn't been boring for a minute. After what I went through with Pop and the boys, it feels like second nature to be caught up in another lawsuitâand we are having a picnic seeing how much money we can save, to put into the
Star
. It is a wonderful thing for Harry. In just a year or two, he will be independentâunless the
Star
loses the lawsuit or business blows up entirely.
I always seem to be in the thick of something, and I don't really mind if life is unpredictable. I would find it awfully dull if everything ran along in a groove. Harry and pretty much everybody else think I am happy in Kansas Cityâand I am happyâI amâI
am
! And yetâpart of me will always be back home in Dayton, wishing I never had left and searching in vain for Little Brother. That sadness casts a shadow over me every waking hour, whatever I do and wherever I go. It just goes to show that you can never step into another person's shoes. It's as Jessie Rittenhouse says in my favorite poem:
I looked through others' windows
On an enchanted earth,
But out of my own windowâ
Solitude and dearth.
Â
And yet there is a mystery
I cannot understandâ
That others through my window
See an enchanted land.