Magnolia Dawn (13 page)

His smile widened. “So is ogling, then tickling your bed partner when he's asleep and unable to defend himself.”

“I certainly was not ogling.”

“Really? What do you call it down here, perusing the goods?”

“Indeed not.” She sniffed haughtily. “Really, you drive me crazy.”

He nuzzled the side of her neck. “I try.”

“Mmm…” She arched as he skimmed his hands over the sides of her breasts. “I've got an idea.”

“Does it involve you naked?”

She blushed. “No.”

“Shucks,” he drawled wickedly. “And there you'd gone and gotten my hopes up.” Catching her hand, he brought it to him.

Her eyes widened. “Not already?”

“I told you how much I wanted you.”

His breath caught as her fingers circled him. His body responded forcefully and she laughed, delighted with her own power. “And you said
I
was going to kill
you.
”

“Vixen.”

“Don't you want to hear my idea?”

“Later,” he muttered, lowering his mouth to hers. “Because now I have some ideas of my own.”

* * *

“Take the day off?” Rush repeated, lifting his eyebrows in feigned shock. “Don't you think that's a bit radical, Ms. Ames?”

“It is Saturday.” She scooted off the bed and slipped her gown quickly over her head. “And I don't feel like working.”

“Then come back here.”

He grabbed for her; she dodged his grasp and pulled on her robe. “Oh, no. Blue's probably eaten the sofa by now, and I can hardly walk as it is.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “I could massage those aching muscles. Of course, that's what made you sore in the first place.” She blushed wildly, and he laughed and climbed out of bed. “Oh, all right. But what's the use of taking a day off if—”

The phone rang.

Rush stopped in his tracks but didn't make a move toward it. Anna laughed. “Aren't you going to answer it?”

“Probably a wrong number.”

It rang again, then again. She shook her head and started for the door. “Go ahead and get it. I'll go tend to Blue.” She stopped at the door and met his eyes. “If you hurry, you might be able to catch me in the shower.”

Rush dove for the phone, picking it up to the sound of Anna's laughter and the screen door slapping shut.

“Rush Cousins?”

“It is.” Rush dragged his attention to the caller.

“This is Dr. Pete Garner. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been out of town.”

The local G.P., Rush thought. Son of the man who had been the local doctor the year he was born. Finally.

“My receptionist tells me you're trying to get some information about the birth of a boy child in 1949 or 1950?”

“That's right.”

“Do you mind telling me why you're interested?”

Rush hesitated, then quickly filled him in, leaving out all reference to Ashland Plantation and the music box. “I would appreciate it if you could keep this information confidential. At least for the time being. Small towns have active tongues.”

“And long memories,” the doctor supplied. “Memories that might be of some help.”

“I'd still like to keep it under wraps for a while, if you don't mind.”

The doctor was silent for a long moment. “You say you have a strong reason for believing you were born in Ames?”

Rush thought of his reaction to the music box, and of the strange little woman who had sold it to him. “Yes,” he said firmly.

“You've already been down to city hall and looked through the birth registry?”

“Yes. There wasn't one Cousins listed. I've also checked microfilm issues of the Ames
Gazette
from 1949 for news of births, deaths and local gossip. Nothing.”

“It is intriguing,” the doctor murmured. “But how can I help?”

“I understand your father was the only doctor around back then, and I thought maybe there would be something in his old files. If you still have them.”

“I do. And you do understand correctly. For years my daddy was the only medical care available in the entire county. And beyond, really.”

“So if there are any medical records to be found, you'd have them.”

“Yes, but…medical information is confidential. I'd really like to help you, but—”

“Look,” Rush inserted quickly, “I'm not trying to find my family. I don't plan to approach anyone. All I'm trying to do is find out who I am. I just want to know where I come from.”

Rush could almost hear the man on the other end thinking, weighing his answer. Rush tried to give him another nudge. “Surely a lot of those files are inactive. The information I'm looking for is over forty years old.”

The doctor made a sound of reluctant acquiescence. “Okay. Give me a couple of hours to pick through the files. I'll see what I can find.”

Rush let out a relieved breath. “Thanks, Doc. I appreciate
it.”

After getting directions and finalizing a time for him to stop by the office, Rush hung up the phone, his heart thundering against the wall of his chest. This could be it. This could lead to something.

What the hell was he going to tell Anna?

The truth.

Rush balled his hands into fists. Dammit, he didn't want to. Even though she deserved to know. Even though he should have told her long ago.

She would be angry, hurt.

He needed her help. She would know the people to talk to, who the old-timers were. She might even know about him. His mystery would be solved and he could go home.

His gut twisted at the thought of leaving Ashland. Of leaving Anna. It would hurt. Hurt in a way he hadn't in so long, he couldn't remember when.

Rush shook his head. He would tell her tonight, after he'd talked to Dr. Garner. He would bring her the music box. It belonged at Ashland; it belonged with Anna.

And maybe it would help her to forgive him.

He showered quickly, then dressed and headed for the plantation house. The scent of bacon and eggs led him to Anna. She stood at the stove, Blue at her feet. She smiled at him when he walked into the kitchen, and guilt washed over him.

He stooped and scratched Blue's ears, unable to meet Anna's eyes.

“Guess you decided against a shower,” she said, setting the filled plates on the table.

He saw that her hands shook, and he swore silently. He'd hurt her already. “I figured I'd missed my opportunity. The call took longer than I expected.”

She poured them both a cup of coffee. “Oh?”

He didn't reply to the question in her voice. “It smells great.”

“Have a seat.”

They both sat. Rush took a bite of his eggs. “Delicious.”

“Thanks.” She pushed her own eggs around the plate.

He cleared his throat. “I've got to go into town. I've an errand to run.”

She looked up. “I'll come, too. There are some things I need from the drugstore.”

“I'll pick them up for you. Just give me a list.”

She gazed at him a moment, then stood and took her untouched food to the sink. Blue whined and she handed the dog her piece of toast, then scraped the rest into the trash.

That done, she turned and faced him. Gone was the hurt he'd seen in her eyes only moments ago. Now she looked indignant. And angry.

“Are you married?”

The question took him so by surprise, he nearly choked. “Annabelle, where did that come fro—”

“Are you?”

“No.” He pushed his plate away. “I'm not married now, nor have I ever been married.”

She lifted her chin and folded her arms across her chest. “Are you romantically or sexually involved with someone else? Considering the times, I think I deserve to know.”

He stood and crossed to her. He looked her directly in the eye. “No. And I haven't been involved with anyone—romantically or sexually—for a long time.”

She opened her mouth to ask another question, then shut it and turned to face the sink. For long moments he stared at her stiff back and shoulders, then he gently turned her to him. “I can't talk about this, Annabelle. Not yet.”

“No problem.”

But it was a problem. For her. And him. He felt it between them like a wall. And he felt like a total heel. “The errand will take an hour. Two, tops. We'll talk when I get back.” He cupped her face, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Trust me on this, okay?”

She smiled slowly. It warmed him more than it should have. “Okay.”

* * *

The doctor's office was located across from the courthouse on Main Street in downtown Ames. Downtown Ames was a collection of shops and offices located around a grassy square. Magnolias dotted the square, although not one of them could compete with Ashland's Sweethearts' Magnolia.

Dr. Garner was younger than Rush had thought he would be. Tall and thin, with thick dark hair and wearing wire-rimmed spectacles, he was the picture of a Southern gentleman.

Rush held his hand out. “Dr. Garner, thank you for seeing me. I know how busy you must be.”

The young doctor smiled and motioned Rush to sit down. “Your call intrigued me, Mr. Cousins. I went ahead and did a little digging.”

Rush took the seat across from the doctor's. “And?”

“There were no Cousins in the county, or if they were, they never required any medical treatment.” Pete Garner looked at him over steepled fingers. “You're sure you're from around here?”

Rush made a sound of frustration and leaned forward in his seat. “No, I'm not sure. I believe I am. I believe, strongly, that I spent time at Ashland Plantation as a young boy. But I can't be sure.”

“And the name Cousins? That's your birth name?”

“That's the name the woman who brought me to the orphanage told the nuns.” Rush stood and crossed to the small window that faced the square. A group of young boys were playing touch football. “Which, of course, could or could not be true.”

“I went through my father's files and checked the birth record of every boy born the years you believe you were.” The doctor inclined his head. “These files represent the infants I can't personally account for. All the others I either know or have heard of the family. You're welcome to go through them. I'm sorry, but I can't let you remove them from the office.”

Rush turned back to the doctor. In his eyes Rush saw genuine sympathy. “Thanks.”

“Well, I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on, so I'll leave you to it.” Pete Garner stood and crossed to the door. There, he stopped and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You know, sometimes girls got into trouble…and the family kept it secret. They usually used a midwife or another relative to deliver the baby, then shipped it off. Times were different. My father would have known about it, even if he wasn't the attending physician. He may be able to help you.”

“Is there any way I could contact him?”

“He's coming to town for my daughter's fourth birthday.”

“When?”

“Two weeks.” Pete Garner shook his head. “He's getting up there, though. His memory's not as good as it used to be.”

“Thanks.” Rush smiled. “I really do appreciate your going out of your way like this.”

“I can empathize. At least a little.” Pete Garner returned his smile. “My wife's adopted. It's always bugged her, not knowing who she is.” He paused. “I wish you luck.”

Chapter Nine

W
here was Rush?

Anna carried a glass of iced tea onto the gallery. Too restless to sit and rock, Anna set down the glass and crossed to the edge of the gallery. She scanned the River Road as far as she could see, then made a sound of disappointment.

Rush had promised he would be gone for only an hour or two. It had already been over three. She tipped her face to the cloudless sky. The sun, already losing the potency of afternoon, had begun its descent into evening, while shadows stretched their long fingers over Ashland's grounds.

She turned her gaze once more to the road. Her day had been an exercise in strength of will. It had taken all of hers to keep her mind on the walls she was sanding, and to maintain an air of normalcy despite the fear clawing at the pit of her stomach. Fear that he regretted having made love with her, fear that she might never see him again.

And the certainty that something wasn't right.

Anna returned her gaze to the road. Where had he gone? she wondered for about the millionth time. What was he keeping from her?

Anna leaned against the column, its plaster cool despite the heat of the day. Rush had offered her nothing; yet she wanted everything from him.

His secrets. Commitment. Love.

She should take what he offered and be grateful for it. He'd already given her more than she'd believed she would ever have—freedom from her past, freedom from the fear of failure, a self-confidence she'd never felt before. It should be enough.

It wasn't. Not by a long shot.

Anna plucked a leaf from a wild vine that had crept up one of the columns. She held it to her nose. He'd promised he would be careful with her, that he wouldn't hurt her. He'd asked her to trust him. It scared her silly, but she would.

Besides, what other choice did she have? She loved him.

Travis's Mercedes sedan pulled into the drive, and Anna watched the car wind down the drive until it disappeared around the side of the house. She sighed. She wasn't up for a visit from Travis today.
Because of Rush. And because she hadn't been able to put what Lowell had told her out of her head. That Travis would even consider buying half of Ashland from her brother hurt like hell.

Moments later, Travis rounded the house, lifting his hand in greeting. She returned his wave, but couldn't bring herself to smile.

“Anna.” Travis stepped onto the gallery and crossed to her. “I'm glad I caught you taking a break.”

“Hello, Travis.” She heard the hesitation in her own voice—the coolness—and cursed it. She'd never felt any way but open and safe with Travis before. Now she felt guarded. Like she couldn't completely trust him anymore. All because of Lowell's selfishness and irresponsibility. She would never forgive her brother if he'd put a permanent wedge between her and Travis.

Travis bent and kissed her cheek. When he pulled away, he gazed at her for a long moment, his expression thoughtful. “You look radiant,” he murmured, straightening.

Radiant?
Anna stared at him in surprise. Had her feelings for Rush manifested themselves in her appearance? Did Travis know, just by looking at her, that she and Rush had become lovers? At the thought, her cheeks heated.

“You know, Anna,” he continued, his voice deepening, “I've always thought you were beautiful.”

He'd surprised her again. He'd never spoken to her this way before. Never looked at her in any way but in friendship. She should be flattered, pleased; but it made her uncomfortable instead.

She laced her fingers. “Well…I… Thank you, Travis.”

“I should have told you before, but…” He shook his head and turned away from her. Crossing to one of the massive columns, he gazed out at Ashland's grounds.

Anna stared at his stiff back, sensing his discomfort. She feared she understood it, but prayed she was wrong. “Why did you come out here today, Travis? What's on your mind?”

“You are, Anna. And Ashland.”

Her heart began to thump uncomfortably against the wall of her chest, and she clasped her hands in front of her. “I'll help you out,” she said. “Lowell told me about the reason for your visit the other day. He told me about the offer he made you.”

“I thought so. I could tell by your…tone.” He turned and met her eyes. “We know each other too well to hide anything.”

She shifted her gaze, thinking again of Rush, of their lovemaking. That was something she had no intention of showing. Or sharing.

“I'm sorry about that day. I knew what you must have been thinking, how you must have felt. I hated putting you in that position. I resented Lowell for making me choose, even if only for those minutes.”

She inched her chin up, tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. “It hurt, Trav. It hurt to think you would consider buying half of Ashland. You know what it means to me.”

“Yes, I know.” He turned away from her again to stare out at the magnolia canopy. “I love Ashland, too. I always have.” He looked over his shoulder at her once more. “You know that, don't you?”

Something in his expression tugged at her, and she nodded. “Yes, I know.”

A frustrated smile twisted his mouth. “I always wanted to be a part of this place. To belong here. I used to dream of it.”

And now he had a chance to make his dreams come true. He'd decided to take Lowell up on his offer.

How could he do this to her?

“What are you trying to tell me, Trav?”

“I'm not trying to tell you anything. I'm…” He swore softly and looked away. “Remember how the gardens used to be? Remember in the spring? How full and fragrant?” He laughed softly. “The bumblebees were as big as my thumb.”

She laughed, too. “Remember the one that chased us clear into the house? We didn't go near the garden for a week.”

Travis turned and crossed to where she stood. Stopping before her, he gathered her hands in his. “The gardens could be that way again, Anna. And the house could be magnificent. We could restore Ashland to her former glory. It could be everything it once was.”

“You told Lowell yes,” she whispered, unable to hide the hurt, the betrayal, she felt. Her eyes swam with tears. “How could you? You're my friend.”

He squeezed her fingers. “I told him no.”

“But…you said we—”

“Marry me, Anna.”

For long moments, she stared at him, too shocked to speak. Then she shook her head. “You didn't just ask me to…”

“But I did.” He brought her hands to his mouth. “Say yes, Anna. Say you'll marry me.”

“Travis, I… You've…surprised me. I didn't expect…this.” She slipped her hands from his and turned away from him, working to gather her thoughts. “We've known each other a long time, but we've never… It's never been romantic between us.”

“We could remedy that.” He caught her elbow and turned her back to him. “This makes sense, Anna. We grew up together. We know and understand each other. We like each other. And we both love Ashland.”

“Oh, Travis…” She shook her head. “I—”

“Wait.” He touched his index finger to her mouth. “Before you say anything, consider this. We're both alone. Forty and alone isn't what I want. Is it what you want? I don't think so. I love children and so do you. We love Ashland. We could be happy. I know we could.”

A month ago, a week ago even, she would have considered his offer. She might even have said yes. But a month ago she hadn't been in love with another man. A month ago she hadn't realized how wonderful romance and passion could be. How necessary.

“Oh, Travis.” She stroked his cheek lightly, hating to hurt him, knowing that she had no choice. “I do love you…as a friend. And I'm flattered by your offer, but—”

He made a sound of frustration. Of disappointment. “But no.”

“No. I can't. I…” Her words trailed off as Rush drove up, tooting the horn. She saw that the back of the pickup was loaded with wood.

Travis followed her gaze. “I see.”

She looked back at her old friend. Her eyes filled at the bitterness in his expression, the hurt. “Am I so transparent?”

“Yes.”

She squeezed his hand. “I'm sorry, Travis.”

“Don't be.” He smiled sadly, all traces of bitterness gone. “And don't rule this out, not just yet.” When she opened her mouth to argue, he laid a finger against her lips. “Think it over, Anna. Take some time. Promise me you'll at least give it some thought?”

She nodded and he drew her against his chest. “People come and go,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her hair. “But I'll be here, Annabelle. I'll always be here.”

Tears pricked her eyes again, but this time because she understood what he was saying to her. Rush was a drifter. He wouldn't stay. Travis was telling her that he would wait, that he would still want her when Rush was gone.

But she would never want anyone but Rush.

Anna walked Travis to his car. Rush was there, unloading the lumber from the back. The two men glared at each other, neither speaking.

Travis climbed into his car, started it, then looked up at her. “Think about what you really want. Take some time. I'll call you.”

Anna watched him drive off, her chest tight with tears. She'd hurt the only man who had ever stood by her and loved her no matter what, the only man who had never let her down.

It
wasn't her fault. She couldn't marry a man she didn't love, especially when she was so desperately in love with another. It wouldn't be fair to her; it wouldn't be fair to Travis.

But she couldn't deny the ache of regret building inside her. The feeling that somehow, she could have prevented this from happening.

Just as she couldn't deny the knot of anger.

She swung around and faced Rush, all the frustration and worry of the day, the second-guessing and insecurity, boiling to the surface, demanding release.

Anna sensed a responding anger in him, A frustration and tightly leashed violence. He, too, was spoiling for a fight.

Rush narrowed his eyes. “That looked mighty cozy, Annabelle. Maybe I should have stayed away longer.”

The blood rushed to her head. “Maybe you should have. Maybe all afternoon wasn't enough.”

She tried to push by him; he stopped her. His hand on her arm felt like a vise. “What did Gentry want?”

“Why do you want to know?” she demanded, so angry she shook. “What business is it of yours?”

“Don't play games, Anna. They're not your style.”

She shook her arm free of his grasp. “But they are yours, aren't they?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I'll be gone an hour,” she mimicked. “Two, tops? It's been four. At least.”

“I got tied up.”

“And I'm not supposed to ask why. Right? I'm not supposed to be angry that you didn't call. I'm not supposed to worry. That would be a lie. And that's a game I don't play.”

She dragged a trembling hand through her hair, searching for a modicum of control. She found it. Barely. “You demanded honesty and trust from me. I expect the same from you. If you feel you can give me that, you'll know where to find me.”

She turned and started for the house; he followed her. When he caught up, he swung her around to face him. “What did Travis want?”

“He asked me to marry him. Satisfied?”

Rush tightened his fingers; a muscle jumped in his clenched jaw. “And what was your answer, Annabelle? Did you say yes?”

At his question, Anna caught her breath. The bit of control she'd managed to find went careening out of her reach. “How could you even ask that?” She jerked her arm free of his grasp. “How could you even think I wo—”

“Did you?”

“No.” She pushed her hair away from her face with trembling fingers. “I told him no.”

“Big mistake, Anna.” He took a step toward her, eyes glittering, jaw tight. “He has money. Position. He could help you rebuild Ashland.”

Pain curled through her, twisting, tightening. She cocked her chin. “You don't know me very well if you think I would sleep with one man, then turn around and agree to marry another.”

He cupped her face in his palms. “Don't get too attached, Annabelle. I won't be staying. I can't.”

“I see.” Tears built behind her eyes and she fought against them, fought against him seeing how much his words hurt her.

“I don't think you do.” He moved his fingers to her hair. She sensed a desperation in the way he held on to her. “It's not you, Anna. It's me.” He searched her gaze. “I want you to know that. I want you to believe it.”

But if he loved her, he would stay.

She shook her head. “Drifters don't make commitments, do they? This isn't news, you know.”

He searched her expression. “Isn't it?”

She hurt so badly she wanted to curl into a ball under the covers and never come out. Instead she stiffened her spine. “Maybe you're right. Maybe I should marry Travis. But exactly how would this work?
Would I sleep with one of you or both of you?”

Rush dropped his hands to her shoulders. “Stop it, Anna.”

“In fact, now that you've gotten me through this freezing thing—”

“Anna, I'm warning you.” He jerked her against his chest, the expression in his eyes murderous.

“—why don't I just try making it with everybody? If it's great with one partner, it must be grand with a doz—”

Rush's mouth crashed down on hers, capturing her words. The force of his kiss bent her backward, and she clung to him, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt.

When he released her, she took a step back from him, her legs trembling so badly she feared she might stumble. “I'm not the kind of woman who would make commitments, even if only physical, to more than one man. Don't offend me like that again.”