Magic and Mayhem: How To Date A Dragon (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Baba Yaga Saga Book 2) (4 page)

Hildy walked inside the dorm, humming as she carried her prisoner to her room.

***

Carol shook her head. She was still having trouble believing what her nearly always timid friend had done with no remorse. Disbelief pushed her raised eyebrows high into her hairline as she and a grinning Hildy peered down into the toilet bowl together. A green dragon fish swam angrily around in circles.

Carol looked up and met her friend’s pleased gaze. Hildy’s pride did not bode well for either of them. “I know this is usually your line instead of mine… but I
really
don’t want to get into this kind of trouble on our Dedication Day. You’ve got to change Thane back into a dragon.”

“No. I don’t want to.”

Carol smiled, but sobered quickly. “Change him back… or I’m telling the Jezibaba.”

Hildy crossed her arms. “Fine. Tell her. It was worth it. I would do it again. When I tell her what happened, she’ll understand like a real friend should.”

Carol shook her head. “I am a real friend. That’s why I’m asking you to think about this rationally. Thane is Professor Smoke’s assistant. He will be missed when he doesn’t come to work tomorrow and all the dragon guards will come looking for him. If you voluntarily change him back tonight, maybe we can talk Thane into not telling anyone what you did to him.”

Hildy snorted and shrugged. “Thane was rude and grabby and arrogant. He’d just spin the story to make it sound like I was the bad guy. I can’t believe I ever thought he was cute. Well, he
was
cute I guess, but no one that good looking should be such a… such a…
meanie
.”

Carol ran a restless hand through her hair. “I don’t believe this. You never get this mad at anyone, especially anyone male. The only time you ever reacted like this before was when you turned Ron into a rat for insulting your blue dance dress.”

“I love that blue dress. It fits me perfectly and makes my eyes sparkle. Ron was just saying bad things about it to see if he could make me mad enough to snap. Well, it worked,” Hildy declared, snapping her fingers. “But it wasn’t the insults that got to me that time either. You didn’t see Ron trying to reach his hand down the top of my dress to cop a feel. I had to make him take me seriously. I just had to.”

Carol blew out a breath. She looked at the swimming fish in the toilet. “I’m not saying this isn’t a good way to punish a jerk. I’m just saying this is bad timing. I’m both proud and strangely appalled by this surprising insight into the temper you do a good job of hiding from the world. I thought you mostly got over turning people into toads by the time we were thirteen.”

Hildy pointed to the toilet bowl. “I did get over it. Thane’s a fish, not a toad.”

“But he’s
supposed
to be a dragon.”

“Who are you to judge me, Carol? You performed magical BDSM on a senior elf tonight, so I don’t want to hear any lectures from you. Of all people, you should understand this completely.”

“Tell me the truth. Did Thane insult your pink fairy clothes?” Carol demanded.

Hildy lifted a shoulder. “Yes, but that honestly wasn’t why I turned him into a fish. He was being a jerk to me. Now I’m teaching him a lesson in manners.”

Carol hung her head. “This is probably my fault for all the wimp jokes. I created a pissed-off witch monster with my teasing. How can I get through to you?”

Hildy rose, went to the sink, and started removing her makeup. “You can’t.”

Carol stood and walked to stand by her friend who’d clearly lost her mind. “Remember when we decided that some couples just didn’t have any real chemistry? We’d watch them be all lovey dovey one day only to start magically zapping each other the next. Both soon went on to date other people.”

Hildy nodded as she washed her face. “What’s that got to do with Thane being an ass?”

“Don’t you think that’s maybe what happened tonight? Maybe you over-reacted to the bad chemistry between you and Thane. Maybe being a powerful witch made your relationship with him implode faster. Don’t you think that happens to interspecies dating couples all the time?”

Hilde snorted. “Why are you talking like a psychiatrist, Carol? I’m not fooled by your sudden interest in how I handle my relationships. You just want me to change Thane back so you can see if you can handle the dragon better than I did. Deep down you don’t respect me any more than he did. You really do think I’m a wimp.”

Carol sighed as she shook her head. “No, I do respect you. I’d like to say the other thing is not true, but we promised never to lie to each other. So yes, I think I’m more mentally equipped to handle an arrogant dragon boyfriend than you are. When I saw him talking to you all night at the dance though, I decided to step aside like any good friend would. You turning Thane into a fish after a few hours with him has to mean you’re not meant for each other. I’m just pointing that out.”

“Get off your soap box, Carol. Dragon boy is not worth you pleading his case. He insinuated I wasn’t magically talented enough to be a Baba Yaga. He insulted the Jezibaba and said she wasn’t worthy. He called you
intense
.”

“Intense?” Carol smiled. “Thane said I was intense? Wow.”

Hildy fisted a hand on her hip. “Is that all you heard of what I just said?
Carol—listen to me!
He was being a dragon asshole. He has issues with powerful witches. Nothing sulfur breath said was a compliment to any of us. ”

Carol shrugged. “I don’t know that for certain. I don’t get many compliments. Compared to what I usually get called, ‘
intense’
sounds pretty good.” She rolled her eyes at her friend’s widening gaze. “Oh, go ahead and laugh. You know it’s true. No male likes a female who can kick his ass except Professor Smoke, but the Jezibaba waited like 300 years for him. I can’t wait that long. We’re almost eighteen. If the assassins do manage to take me out, I don’t want to die a virgin.”

Carol smiled when Hildy started genuinely laughing. When her laughter finally faded, Hildy shook her head at how silly they were being. Seeing her opening, Carol held up her right hand. It had taken her years to get rid of the “I’m Sorry” tattoo the Jezibaba had branded into her palm when she was ten. Strangely, it would have probably helped in this instance. Hildy would have laughed more.

Oh, she still hated apologizing and defending her actions. She secretly vowed one day she’d get to stop doing both. But for now…

Carol cleared her throat. “I swear by the Goddess Morgana, I’m not being a pathetic loser who just wants her chance with the cute boy. I truly don’t want you to get into trouble over this. Earlier tonight we promised to spend the rest of our lives together as two powerful witches protecting the world. The last thing we need is anyone thinking their guardian witches can be tripped up by someone with a penis. There are good reasons the Babas are always female. You’ve heard the Jezibaba say that before.”

Hildy covered her mouth and giggled. “
Carol
, ix-nay on the enis-pay comments. Thane’s a fish, but he can still hear and understand our words. That’s how the spell works. I wanted to teach him a lesson in manners, not shred his manhood.”

Carol looked down in the bowl and grinned. “If he’s hearing everything, that’s better for us. Thane will know for sure then that the only reason you’re changing him back is because I asked you to. He’ll have to live with knowing you love me more than you hate him.”

Hildy sputtered and choked on laughter. “That’s lame… very lame. But okay. Bring dragon dickhead outside and I’ll reverse the spell.”

“Ewww… no. You get him out of the toilet. I’m not the one who put him in there,” Carol complained.

Hildy grinned. “Sure. I’m quite willing to be the one. Leave him in there all night and tomorrow morning I’ll get him out.”

Carol fisted her hands on both hips. “I really hate you right now.”

“And I really hate him. If you’re dumb enough to ask for this, you should pay a price too.”

Carol sighed and stuck her hand in the cold toilet water. She grabbed a slimy Thane and turned him to face her. “Listen up, dude. I’ve
never
seen Hildy this mad at a male before. I suggest you keep your lip zipped around her once you’re a dragon again. Goddess knows what she’ll turn you into next time.”

She took his blinking eyes as agreement and put him gently into the bottom of her shirt.

***

Once fishy Thane was back on the ground, Hildy drew in a deep breath and spoke the chant to reverse the spell.

After his reversion to a human, Thane patted his body down, pausing a long time at his crotch, and then turned his glare on Hildy. “If I were in dragon form right now, I would fry you, witch.”

Hildy crossed her arms to keep from instantly zapping him back. The spell still lingered and so did her anger. It would take no more than the wave of her hand. “How would you like to spend the next hundred years as a dragon toad?”

Thane narrowed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath in his native dragon language. It certainly didn’t sound like an apology. When Hildy uncrossed her arm and raised her hands, Carol snickered and grabbed hold of them.

“No, Hildy. Please… I’m sure Thane has learned his lesson.”

Carol turned to the pissed off dragon who was no match for a righteous witch done wrong. “Thane—stop with the grumbling. I barely got you out of the shitter as it was. Hildy will you put back in there with no regrets whatsoever.”

“I’m done with this. You’re both crazy,” Thane declared. Throwing up a hand, he stomped away.

Carol’s grip on Hildy went lax as her gaze followed the dragon’s exit. She sighed as she stared at his wide shoulders and lean hips. It was a pleasure just to watch the man walk. Hildy yanking free was what snapped her out of her lustful dragon trance.

“If you hook up with that asswipe of a dragon after tonight, it’s all over between us, Carol. There’s no way you and I could work together if I have to hang around Thane all the time. Dragons are now officially off my shifter dating list. I’m sticking to wolves, bears, and… I don’t know…
normal
creatures. I swear even a self-centered warlock would be better than him.”

Carol rubbed her nose and made a face. She knew she shouldn’t respond to Hildy’s no-more-dragons rant, but it was just too tempting. “What are you going to do, Hildy? Save your v-entry for when Chuck the Baby Bear grows up?”

Hildy rolled her eyes. “Carol, remember that transfer student from Nova Scotia? The Elk shifter? He took the honor home with him. It was good, but it wasn’t great. Next time… I’m going to at least like the male. Something big was missing… and no, that wasn’t a bad pun.”

Carol had to clear her throat to speak. Hildy had rendered her nearly speechless twice in one night. “But that was last summer. Why didn’t you tell me before now?”

Hildy shook her head. “Because just like I said…
you
don’t respect me any more than dragon boy does. Just because I don’t go around frying people with dragon fire or putting elves in bondage doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself.”

“Okay. I guess you have a point. Did it hurt like they say it does?” Carol asked quietly.

Hildy shrugged. “He was an elk shifter in rut, Carol. Does that answer your question? He was as gentle as he could have been under the circumstances. We stayed friends and he still writes to me. Nolan is becoming a healer for his people. I don’t know why, but I’m fascinated by people who choose to do that for a living. Wanting to know what it was like was the reason I decided to be with him. I mean, I know healing will never be my life’s work, but it’s a nice fantasy.”

Carol nodded. “I hear you. It makes more sense than imprisoning or killing people as a Baba Yaga. As much as I like a good fight, I’m not looking forward to having to completely kill someone.”

Hildy nodded. “I think being a healer would feel good to me, but I wouldn’t change being a Baba Yaga with you. That’s partly why I turned the dragon dick stick into a fish. He really did make me mad with his comments about us all.”

“All dragons have a lot of attitude, Hildy. That’s just their basic nature. We’ve been in training beside them for years. How could his attitude surprise you?”

“I don’t know,” Hildy said. “But I snapped, Carol. I just snapped. I guess it was like you and the Elf guy at the dance. Maybe we’re more alike than I realized before tonight.”

There was silence as they stood in the dark together. Carol finally let out a breath and with it a laugh. “Even though I shouldn’t be, I’m proud of you… both for what you did and for changing him back. Are we good now?”

Hildy nodded several times to be sure Carol believed her. “Yes, we’re good. Now I get to ask the hard question and I want you to be truthful. Are you mad at me for what I did?”

Carol frowned and shook her head. “If Thane was a jerk to you, you had every right to defend yourself. Being sexy doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. I would have probably done the same thing… or given him my virginity. It would have been a toss up. Guess I’ll never know now. He didn’t seem to like either of us when he left.”

Hildy giggled at Carol’s defense of her. “I wasn’t talking about spelling Thane tonight. I was talking about the elk shifter. I’ve been careful not to talk about it… or even think about it. I haven’t wanted to do it again, so it’s been pretty easy to put it aside. Plus I didn’t want you to think we weren’t still equals in everything.”

Carol laughed and shook her head. “I’m a little envious maybe, but not mad. I was mostly joking about making Thane my first v-entry guy. The dragon is hot—bad pun intended. His dick stick attitude is a turn on to me. I know it’s bad to like that stuff in guys, like
really, really
bad
, but I can’t seem to help it, Hildy. Nice guys don’t do it for me.”

Hildy shrugged and nodded her head towards the dorm. They started walking back, falling into step with each other. She was glad Carol wasn’t mad. “It doesn’t surprise me you go for the bad boys. That’s just so you, Carol.”

“That is so me, isn’t it?” Carol agreed, throwing her arm around her giggling friend.

“Tomorrow you’re due at Amazon island for three days of fight training. I can’t stress how important it is to keep up those skills for when magic is unavailable to you. I’ve had to fight without my power many times. When you return, you’ll have a couple days off, then we need to make some decisions about what’s next.”