Maggie's Child (10 page)

She came to at the sound of Dukes calling for his horse to stop. The stillness was welcome, as was the cool evening air on her face.

Nathaniel. Take me to my son.

She needed to feed Nathaniel. The thought stimulated lactation and she screwed her eyes up against the pain as the milk flowed through the bitten nipples. She sensed tears rolling down her cheeks, but her hands would not move to wipe them away.

A hand wiped them for her. Rough hands wiped with tenderness. Her body was lifted again, and she could smell the aroma of the Arlington kitchen.

‘Our Good Lord above. What the dickens happened?’

Mrs Bowter, help me. Please help.

Pots and pans clanged around Maggie’s ears. Her body swung side to side as she sensed Dukes carrying her through the kitchen and up the stairs. The higher they went the faster his heart pounded. Maggie focused on its beat. Every one resounded in her ears, feeding her with the need to live. Dukes’ arms enclosed a little more, his body warmth and soft smell of tobacco on his clothing was a comfort. She heard him mumble something to the cook, but couldn’t make out the words. They stood for what seem like hours to Maggie. Dukes’ heart pounding out in her ear. She was helpless and crying out inside. Eventually the floating sensation came again and once more the thudding beat was a comfort.

 ‘Dukes, in here. Guest room one has been made up for her.’

Alice. Nanny, can you hear me? I must feed my son. Please help me.

Softness enveloped her body but Maggie tried to fight against it. She could hear her baby’s cries further along the corridor. She struggled to get free from the bedclothes that now surrounded her.

‘Still, be still Maggie. It’s going to be fine. You are safe now.’ The soothing voice of Alice did nothing to stop her. She groaned with frustration.

‘Someone shut the door. She can hear the boy and it’s playing on her mind.’ Maggie heard the door shut out the sounds. They had shut out Nathaniel’s hungry cries. Maggie tried to wave her arm but nothing happened.

No. No, he needs me. Don’t you understand? He needs me. LISTEN TO ME.

‘That brute certainly gave her a hiding. I wonder what she did to deserve the bruises she is going to suffer. Take a look at her little hands. She must have tried to cover her face. Poor lass. And her face, that little fairy face. If he has scarred her, I will kill him with my own bare hands.’ Alice spoke as she bustled around the bed and Maggie willed her body to move.

The salve being applied to her hands contained lavender. Maggie could smell its strong perfume. Energy left her body, she could fight no longer. Her mind relaxed, and she allowed the dark back inside.

‘Dr Timmis is on his way, ma’am. I asked the master if we could get her attended to as she is a member of the household staff. It’s her stomach area you see, ma’am. The imprint of a boot is coming through in bruises. I fear for her insides. There was blood-forgive me for mentioning such a delicate matter- a lot of blood on the bedding, I wonder if-well- Dr Timmis will find out the problem.’ Alice talked in hushed, hurried tones. Maggie drifted in and out of drowsiness and could hear the rustling of fabric. Felicity Arlington’s sandalwood perfume wafted around the room. Maggie focused upon the voices. She tried to speak. No sound came. Using all energy she had, she tried to will the thoughts from her mind.

 No doctor. Nathaniel. Just Nathaniel.

‘You made a sensible decision. I can tell you this; Mrs Sawbury’s husband is in serious trouble with the constabulary. My husband has had him held over. She will be safe with us. The poor woman, as if she has not suffered enough. A brute indeed, nanny. Let me know what the doctor has to say please. What will happen with my son? I assume you have made alternative feeding arrangements?’

‘We had a little of her expressed milk left from this morning, and have mixed it with cow’s milk, ma’am. One of the kitchen maids has just tended to him and he appears to be satisfied for the moment. I will tend to him shortly. Maggie has been bathed by me for her dignities sake. I will return to the nursery when the doctor has visited. We will have to play it by ear at the moment, and hope she recovers soon.’

‘Providing Nathaniel is comfortable and happy, I am sure you can spare a few hours for Maggie. I know you two have become close friends. I must get back to my guests. Keep me informed.’

‘Yes, madam.’

Maggie heard Mrs Arlington move around the room. The swishing of her skirts sounded like a breeze blowing through cornfields. Memories of her wedding day and the meadow flooded back and Maggie groaned.

‘Calm yourself, Maggie, you are safe. We will care for you.’ Maggie felt the gentle touch of soft hands over hers. ‘Whatever she needs, Nanny, whatever she needs. This is not the result of a domestic dispute between husband and wife. That girl could not say boo to a goose on her farm. I know her from church, she is a gentle soul. On the other hand, I have heard some dreadful things about her husband tonight. This is the result of a violent bully; the act of a coward. She is not to return to that farm until I have spoken with her, you understand?’

‘Yes, ma’am. I will see she speaks with you before returning home. A sad affair. Dukes said she looked dead on the floor when he arrived. Quite a shock for him, from what I gather.’

‘A shock for us all. A shock for us all.’

Maggie could hear the swishing sounds move out of the room. Alice sighed. A heavy sigh of someone with a great burden to carry. The smell of lamp oil and lavender wafted around the bed. Night time had come around, she was lighting the lamps.

Maggie strained her ears. She could no longer hear the baby noises that called out to her earlier. She settled back into the soft mattress. Crisp linen smelled fresh and inviting, and she gave into the comfort of her surroundings. It was hard to fight to stay awake. Heavy limbs, an aching head and her abdomen reminded her of the attention her husband had bestowed a few hours previous.

Names entered her mind. People who had touched her life. Those who had destroyed it, and those who had given it to her. Only two of those names had ever received love from Maggie. In the fog of mid-sleep, Maggie remembered.

Autumn 1855; the first loving kiss touched her lips. New Year 1856; the first time she learned the intimate love of a strong man could bring a woman alive, and yet destroy her soul at the same time. Maggie recalled the smells and sounds of that night. She drew comfort from them. Her mind relaxed and then she saw him in her mind’s eye; Stephen. His smile brought about sensations she had never known until then. He gave his love so freely and so did she. From their union came Nathaniel. The child he didn’t know existed. The child he could never nor will ever know about.

Her mind became fuzzy. Suddenly Maggie was frightened of the night. She sensed the Grim Reaper lurking; waiting to take his chance. Logical thoughts mixed with fantasy swirled around her mind.

Stephen, the killer of love, you disgust me. Dukes, where are you? Please never forget me. Remember me. Make my life mean something to someone on this bleak earth. Goodbye. Dukes, save me.

Warmth and softness brought about heaviness around her body. Maggie no longer held back. She floated on their comfort.

***

Metal. The taste of metal tainted her mouth. She ran her tongue over her lips. They felt rough, dry and sore. Her arm had the weight of a heavy laundry basket. It was a struggle but finally she raised it to her head. Confused, she rested the arm down again. Her pain came from somewhere, but it wasn’t her head. She ran her hand across her face. Cloth ran under her chin and around the sides of her jaw.

She lifted her legs. A pain shot through her abdomen. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips. She tried to speak, but someone had tied her mouth. She tried again, this time she heard a growl. When a second sound reached her ears, she realised it her own noise.

‘She’s awake. Thank you, Lord, for my friend. Maggie, you survived.’ Alice fussed around the bedclothes. Again the smell of lavender moved with her.

A wet cloth pressed gently against Maggie’s lips.

‘Now suck gently. He broke your jaw, sweetheart. There will be pain, but we have faith. Come take the water.’

The growl came again.

‘No, lie still. Just suckle the cloth. A basil tincture for your sore mouth. Good girl, steady now. There, much better.’ She stroked Maggie’s hair away from her eyes.

‘Go and get Mrs Arlington, Daisy. She wanted to be informed when Maggie came around.’

Maggie looked up into the eyes of her friend. She put as much emphasis into them as she could, hoping Alice Summers would understand her question.

‘He’s fine. He is feeding well. I know that is what you want to hear. I will bring him to see you later in the day. When no one else is around. Now lay back, madam will be in to visit you soon. Oh, and that thug of a husband has been warned you are not returning to the farm just yet. He is to be released with a warning. The girl, Lizzie, she is running things for you, and Mr Arlington sent the daughter of one of the staff here, to help her out. You worry about getting better.’

Maggie moved her eyes, hoping they communicated her thanks.

Felicity Arlington breezed into the room. Her skirts rustled even louder than before. She dismissed all staff and placed herself beside Maggie, but in full view of her face.

‘My dear, you are awake. It is thanks to Dr Timmis you have survived this ordeal. A broken jaw and a bleed from the ear are two of the injuries he found. He said you will suffer pains in the head for some time. He has left a sweet woodruff mixture for both your head and body pain. There is one other thing he had to do. Maggie, you were bleeding from inside your body. Your husband said you fell, but the boot imprint shows otherwise. That aside the doctor had to perform a delicate operation to save your life. I am afraid, he, um.’ Mrs Arlington gave a delicate cough. Maggie knew something serious was about to be said. She could sense the tension in the woman’s voice. ‘This is not easy for me to say, rather personal but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I am afraid he thinks it will mean you will never be able to have children. Given your previous history, this is the most tragic thing that could happen to you. I am so sorry. The good thing is that you are still producing nourishment and can continue to feed the boy. Should you wish to, of course. I am not insensitive and am aware it might be too much for you to bear. You are a good woman and it has grieved me to see you in this state.’

Maggie couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She closed her eyes. They were closed in prayer. She thanked God for the gift of Nathaniel for the second time. For without him she would have been childless.

The room was warm, calm and now empty. Maggie let her body relax. She took a few deep breaths and gave in to sleep yet again. It was time for her to remember the good things in her life and the lessons that strengthened her character; time to face her past.

Chapter 11

Saturday 14th July1855

‘Take these, oh, and these. The men will need a cask of cider. It is warm today. I have never seen so many willing hands.’ Maggie gave instructions to the women who were helping with the summer fayre. The flower and vegetable festival was a popular event, and it fell to several of the wives to provide food and drink. Jacob, as usual, volunteered his wife to set up the tables. Maggie did not really mind. She did envy other wives of nearby farms their husbands paid a few coins for extra help. Maggie never had the luxury of Jacob paying another to assist her. Fortunately she had the families of their farm hands willing enough to pitch in without payment. Although they did enjoy the free feast and beer Maggie offered them.

‘Mrs Sawbury, do you want me to go ahead with Lizzie? We can set the tables. If it is white cloths the same as last year, it isn’t something you need to worry about. You can follow with the food in about an hour. He will be none the wiser.’ Agnes Latchford indicated outside with her thumb towards Jacob. He was shouting out instructions to the men lifting the cider and wheat beer barrels.

‘Agnes, that would be a great help, thank you. Please, I tell you every year, please call me Maggie. I forgot you are an expert at this fayre. Did not your father win the finest potato five years running?’

Maggie wiped her hands down a pinafore stained with a mixture of sweet and savoury foodstuffs. She was grateful for thoughtful helpers.

Agnes puffed out her already large chest and said, ‘He did indeed. We lost him last winter. We all miss him, it broke our hearts. Old man Bloomfield cannot believe his luck. He always comes second, but sees his chance of the number one place this year. What he doesn’t know is our Henry has been keeping his grandfather’s prize crop growing. He is hoping to follow in his footsteps. I cannot wait to see Bloomfield’s face when the barrow is wheeled in.’

Laughter rang around the house. Maggie loved to hear her home alive with happy sounds. They were rare.

‘Quick, let us toast your family’s success. Lizzie, where is he?’ Lizzie did not need a name to know who Maggie referred to. It was an understanding amongst them all. If Jacob Sawbury’s name was mentioned in full, it tainted whatever event was happening at the time. If he had no name, it was as if he did not exist. A wish of many.

‘He’s happy right enough; they are taking full kegs to the squire’s field now. He’ll not be back now ‘til he staggers home.’

Maggie poured elderflower cordial and sloe gin into glasses. The women and children, nine in all, raised their glasses to the largest potato, the longest carrot and the prettiest flower.

The last cart left well laden with food and giggling families. Arms and legs waved and dangled over the edge of their transport in a relaxed manner. The sloe gin was working its magic.

Maggie had opted to follow on foot. She wanted to take advantage of the sunshine and peaceful atmosphere.