Madness (44 page)

He said her had found no one amid all his searching, and told them he would be back with a doctor as soon as he could.

They wished him luck and listened as the door closed behind him, and the hooves soon began to clatter off down the long drive.

For a time the only sounds in the room were the rustling of clothes as the three drenched people changed, and the howl of the wind outside. It set the fire to crackling and popping, and soughed like an animal in its death throes.

“I’m certainly glad we’re not out on the road. A tree falling in this weather would have been the end of us,” Lucinda commented.

Gabrielle shivered.

“No, we’re safe here. There are no trees to come crashing down on us, the roof is sound, we have food and warmth and all we need. Each other,” Simon said from behind the screen.

“Still, Randall and everyone will be worried.”

“It’s all right. Fenton will put their minds at ease once he gets back to Barkston House. So long as you’re not worried about the baby.”

“Just about me dying, as I’ve said.”

Gabrielle shot her sister a look of alarm.

“And I’ve told you, Lucinda, you’re not leaving us,” Simon said firmly.
 
“You’re going to raise this baby and be happy with our new family, and with a decent husband one day who will adore you both forever.”

Lucinda grimaced. “That would mean getting rid of the old one first. The bast—”

“Lucinda!” Gabrielle remonstrated.

“Well, he
is
," she said, sticking out her lower lip in a mutinous pout. "I
hate
him. He’s never going to touch me or this baby, ever. You have to promise me. Both of you.”

“You know the law as well as I do,” Gabrielle said with a sigh. “If he comes for you, it will be hard to gainsay him unless Randall and Alistair can speed through your divorce.”

Lucinda looked at Simon beseechingly.

Simon vowed, “I promise, I’ll see Oxnard dead before he will ever take the child away from you or try to claim you or any other innocent woman as his wife."

"Wife? Victim, more like," Lucinda said with a twist of his lips.

Again. Gabrielle stared. It was more than she had ever admitted, in all the time she had been married…..

"But you have to realize there will be consequences in defying him," Simon warned. "And everything is as the gods choose.”

Gabrielle listened to their exchange silently. She had never known either of them to be especially religious. Well, this night was so fierce, she supposed it was only natural to think about gods and demons.

The house fairly shook and rattled with each successive burst of wind and rain. It was as if all nature had gone mad and was exerting its fury on the hapless earth.

Simon smiled over at her reassuringly now, and whispered, “Try not to look so worried. I’m not going to let Lucinda die. Do you hear me, Sister? I would never want my lovely wife to ever suffer what I had to go through in losing my siblings, do you understand? It will be well.”

 
He went over to the tea tray and poured for them both, then put together a plate of sandwiches for each of them.

“I must say, you play the host extremely well,” Gabrielle praised.

It was so strange, almost as if he belonged there, she reflected, as she watched him sitting there in his trousers, with the collar of his shirt open, wearing the slippers he had put on while his boots dried by the fire.

“Here, I’ll hang your clothes to dry. Eat up, the pair of you. It’s going to be a long night.” He flashed a wink at Lucinda that had her giggling like a two-year-old. “A longer night for some of us than others,” he added.

 
He leaned over to kiss Gabrielle as passionately as if they had been alone together, causing her to blush. Then he cupped her rump lustily, and she felt herself go on fire.

“I’m sure there’s a decent bedroom or two upstairs if you want to go lie down and get a bit of privacy,” Lucinda teased.

“Don’t be silly,” Gabrielle said, completely flustered. “Simon, really, what must she think of us?”

“That you two are in love. And that I’m so glad that carnal relations aren’t as disgusting for everyone as they were for me.”

“Disgusting?” Gabrielle echoed, appalled, not wanting to know, but also tempted to avail herself of this first opportunity she had been afforded to find out what had really happened to her sister. What had been so terrible that it had actually spurred her into madness.

This was the first time she had seen Lucinda lucid since her marriage to Oxnard. Once she had come back from the honeymoon, she had been, well, haunted…

So as Lucinda lay there in the throes of labor, with Simon and Gabrielle holding one hand apiece, she ate, drank tea, and told them the entire horrible truth about her marriage.

“Oxnard was always certain never to leave any outward signs of what he had done. Arms and legs could be hidden under clothing. A black eye or split lip, people would have wondered.

"And his friends. They were just as bad. Appalling. I tried to fight them off. But it was all too easy for them. They were so practised at it, don’t you see?"

Gabrielle barely managed to hold on to the contents of her stomach at all her sister was revealing to her.

“You were right about Oxnard all along. I heard you and Antony talking. He did do away with his other wives. I saw them. They told me. Their ghosts encouraged me to try to escape, but I wouldn’t listen. I was too ashamed. Oxnard said it was all my fault for being an ugly whore. He also said no one would ever believe me anyway. And that he as my husband could do whatever he liked with me. Money, body, and soul.”

“Oh, you poor child,” Simon sighed, his eyes brimming with tears.

“When I wasn’t the object of his attentions, he would make me watch what he did with others, just as his friends watched us. Men, women, children of both genders as young as seven or eight. It was appalling. The more I protested and struggled, the worse it got," she admitted in a ragged whisper.

“I eventually realized it was only fun for him if he thought he was breaking my spirit, degrading me. I think he might also have been drugging me to keep me from running away and going to the authorities with what I knew.

"I tried to hint, and even come right out to ask the servants for help, but they lived in terror of Oxnard and his companions. Some of the footmen were in league with him anyway, complicit in all his crimes, so there was little help there even if one of them had been willing to help me escape.”

She sniffed, and on a caught sob gasped, “I have to be honest now. I don’t even know who the father of this baby is. I don’t think it was Oxnard. He used a lot of other things most of the time because he often couldn’t, well, couldn't manage himself, if you know what I mean."

Gabrielle stared in confusion, but Simon nodded. "So he was impotent, from drink and other things?" he guessed.

Lucinda said miserably, "He used phalluses, I think you call them. Dildoes. I thought I was going to die on my wedding night. I never knew--”

"No reason for you to, dear," Gabrielle said, stroking back a stray tendril from her sister's cheek. "You wanted a good, loving husband. Instead you got a man who doesn't know the meaning of those words."

Simon looked as ill as Gabrielle felt at these stunning revelations about the extent of Oxnard's depravity. They both patted her shoulder, and Simon said gently, “Thank you for confiding in us, my dear sister. What you've endured, well, it's terrible, but you're safe now. And it really is all over. You're never going to be anywhere near him ever again."

"But what if the child is as depraved as—"

"It will be an innocent babe, free from the sins of the past. It doesn't matter who the father is, what happened to cause him to be conceived, only that he has been. With a new life, comes new hope. The main thing is that you’re the mother, a good, decent woman, and we all have a bright future ahead of us. Your son Christopher will be good and kind and loved because he is a tender child, and no one can blame him for anything Oxnard did. Or anything you think you’ve done.

"You’ve been sinned against badly, but that doesn’t make you a sinner, do you understand? You’re a wonderful woman. You just made a bad mistake. There's no need to pay for it for the rest of your life. You've already paid. And out of that Hell you are going to rise, with a wonderful child who will bring you joy.”

“Pain, and happiness. Why does joy always have to have a price?” Lucinda asked with a sigh.

“I wish I knew, pet,” Simon said, dashing the droplets away from his cheeks with the cuff of his shirt.

“I want to forget all about the past. I just pray he will be normal, with all ten fingers and toes. Not hideous, the product of lust and sin and the most evil things any human could do to another. It was torture.”

“But you’re safe now. He didn’t get your mind in the end,” Gabrielle said firmly. “You protected yourself, saved that from him, didn’t allow him to debauch you.”

“Yes,” she said with a nod. “You understand. I went into a little dark closet he couldn’t reach. I’ve been there ever since. But you and Simon and the Avenels have brought me out of myself. You do understand though, why I don’t want to remember, and I don’t really want to go on feeling so tainted, poisoned.”

“You did nothing wrong!” Gabrielle said vehemently. “You surrendered to survive.”

Lucinda looked doubtful. “He made me do the most awful, degrading things,” she confessed in a choked whisper.

“Those are just actions. They aren't
you
," she said firmly. "And though you may not want to hear this now, if you had truly loved him, you might be willing to do some of those things.”

At her sister's doubtful stare, she admitted, “I’ve, er, kissed Simon in all sorts of different ways, for example, and he’s kissed me. Talked to me intimately about the things that give me pleasure. It doesn’t all have to be shocking if it’s done mutually and with love.”

To her surprise, her sister nodded. “I know. I’ve heard you through the walls sometimes, giggling, sounding, well, very happy. Like you’re really enjoying yourselves.”

The couple blushed, but both smiled at each other.

“It doesn’t all have to be brutal or disgusting. Matthew Dane’s wife Althea was subjected to something similar to what you've endured. Eswara Jerome helped her a great deal. When you’re feeling up to it, you ought to—”

She looked alarmed. “Oh, no, I could never
tell
anyone.”

“You’ve just told us,” Simon pointed out quietly, “and you’re going to have to tell any kind man you meet who is interested in your for yourself.”

She shook her head at that, her blond curls tossing to and fro. “No one could possibly want someone as unclean and defiled as me.”