Machine (22 page)

Authors: K.Z. Snow

BOOK: Machine

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“You don’t understand,” Clancy said hoarsely. “You’ll want to keep giving. And I won’t be able to stop myself from taking. And then… you’ll be doomed.”

“No, I won’t.” Simon lifted Clancy’s head to force another kiss, this one wild and openmouthed, their moist lips dragging across each other’s face and neck. Simon’s fingers curled into the silk of Clancy’s hair. “We’ll save it for special occasions. Holidays. Birthdays.”

Clancy’s movements stilled as he choked on a laugh. “Are you serious, you madman?”

“Absolutely.”

“But it isn’t a holiday. Or your birthday. Or mine.”

Smiling, Simon nudged Clancy’s head back down to his chest. “Yes it is. Tonight it’s all three.”

W
ILLIAM
SLEPT
on. Bentcross hadn’t voxed. Nobody had appeared at the Eminence of Taintwell’s door.

Fanule stood at the bedroom window, watching the earthbound swirl of snowflakes. Some skittered softly against the glass. The yard was sparkling white now, not sere, and the air slipping around the windowpanes was bracingly fresh.

The seasons had turned a page. Perhaps he had too.

He glanced over his shoulder at the bed. No movement there, save for the gentle rise and fall of the duvet over William’s chest.

Fanule had no way of knowing if his efforts had been fruitful. He couldn’t bring himself to contact anybody and ask. Maybe he couldn’t face the prospect of failure.

“You’ve earned your title and infused it with meaning.”

Had he? Fanule didn’t know. He would’ve been grateful simply to steer clear of the path his father had taken. Driving William away had scared him witless, and if he could avoid becoming a vain, self-important, self-serving creature, he’d feel he had accomplished enough.

His thoughts turned philosophical. Where was Zofen now? His physical being, or what was left of it, was back in the bog. But what had become of
his
essence? Surely a mind that inquisitive and a will that strong couldn’t be snuffed into nonexistence like a candle flame.

Fanule couldn’t help but believe his father’s spirit restlessly rode the winds. Zofen wouldn’t resign himself to rest. Not just yet. He’d do it in his own time.

Something knocked at the windowpane, making Fan jump.

“I think if I still lived in Taintwell, I’d hold my head a bit higher because you’re my son.”

A chill skated between Fanule’s shoulder blades.
Don’t be ridiculous
,
he admonished himself
. That was just an acorn
,
or falling ice from the eaves.

“Fan? What’re you doing?”

He wheeled around so abruptly, he nearly tripped over his feet.

“Please come here. I want you beside me. I’ve missed you.”

A mewl of surprise and gratitude came from Fanule’s throat as he loped toward the bed and dropped to his knees beside it. “William,” he exhaled, stroking his lover’s hair, holding his face and kissing him, his bones loosening and muscles melting at the feel of those soft, once-again responsive lips.

William held his head in place and kissed him again, passionately. He gently touched Fanule’s damp eyelashes. “Have you been crying? I hope you’re not still feeling melancholic.”

“No. No. I’m not having a low spell. Not the kind you’re used to me having. I just can’t bear the thought of what I did. I know I hurt you, William, and I beg you to forgive me. I’d rather lose my ears again than lose you.”

William frowned. “Don’t say that. Don’t you
ever
say that.”

“It’s the truth. When I was punished in that subbasement, I knew I didn’t deserve it. Outrage helped dull my pain. But
this
pain I deserve.” He pressed a lingering kiss to William’s forehead. “My second wing was ripped off and no one was responsible but me.” He stared intently into William’s eyes and tried to pour every dram of his devotion into the look. “I adore you, sweet man. I cherish you beyond measure and expression. If cutting myself open would allow you see my love, I’d do it. If begging would emasculate me but secure your forgiveness, I’d beg without regret.”

William curled onto his side and covered Fanule’s hands with his. “It wasn’t as if you locked me in an iron maiden, Fan. Mrs. Scrubb’s accommodations are quite comfortable. Besides, I know that when your illness seizes you, you’re not entirely in control of your words and actions.”

“So you don’t really want me to leave you alone?”

“Obviously not, if I came back here. I’ve been heartsick from the moment you told me to go away.” William’s brows dipped. “Funny, but I don’t remember coming back. I remember wanting to, and being concerned about you, but—”

Fanule put three fingers against his lips. “We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Just let me look at you. Your eyes are so bright, William. When I first saw you in that tavern on Skipskin Mews, I marveled at how they shone through the smoke. Did I ever tell you that?”

William smiled. “No, but it’s not important. You’ve already complimented me enough for five lifetimes.”

“That’s because you deserve it.” Fanule briefly squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been a total ass, but I promise—”

Now William silenced
him
. “You make quite the handsome martyr, Eminence,” he said, “but I prefer your other identity. Martyrs are tiresome. Just be Fanule Perfidor and tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you. There. Everything’s settled. Three sincere words are much more economical than three hours of self-flagellation.”

Fanule grinned. He was sure he’d never felt such joy. “From now on, I want you to tie me to the bed and pour that damned medicine down my throat if need be. I mean it, William. I’ll never again let my pride ruin our happiness.”

“I’ll gladly tie you to the bed, Fan, but it won’t be medicine I’ll pour down your throat.” William threw off the duvet and rolled half onto his belly. His hips writhed against the bedclothes, and his voice grew molten. “I’m quite desperately in need of your kind attentions. It’s been a while since the man I love has touched me.”

Fanule shed his clothing so fast, it might as well have been on fire. As he crawled into bed, he cast a glance at the window.
Now
this
, Father, will be a good job.

About the Author

If there’s one thing
K.Z. S
NOW
loves more than indulging her wayward imagination, it’s the natural world and, especially, animals. She’s been a companion to most domesticated creatures and a good number of the feral ones commonly known as men. After too many turbulent years, her life in the upper Midwest is now sublimely uneventful.

Her Dreamspinner novel
The Zero Knot
won a 2012 Rainbow Award in the YA/Coming of Age category.

You can visit K.Z. at her blog, http://kzsnow.blogspot.com

or website, http://www.kzsnow.com/

or chat with her on Twitter, https://twitter.com/k_z_snow

and Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/KZSnow.

Feel free to e-mail K.Z. at [email protected].

By
K.Z. S
NOW

N
OVELS

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OVELLAS

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