Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (75 page)

I stood up. ‘Ma! Leave it, you sit here, don't mind him,' an I headed fer the door.

‘Where are ye goin?' me ma asked nervously.

‘I'm not sittin beside him, but there's nowhere decent left te sit.'

‘Jaysus! Tha's an awful pity we lost the seat. We'll never get a bit a sleep now!' me ma kept sayin.

‘Look, Ma, go on, sit down. I'm just goin te take a wander. Ye'll be all right.'

An she looked at the seat an said, ‘Well, don't be gone too long, then.'

I wandered aroun, feelin the boat rockin, an heard singin an laughin. An I followed the noise up the stairs an saw a crowd a men drinkin an laughin. The room was blue wit the smoke. I looked aroun an saw a gang a fellas hangin onta the counter an throwin back glasses a porter, an shoutin at each other an laughin. ‘Go on there, me boy! Give us another belt.' An a big roarin red-neck culchie threw back his head an roared in a hoarse voice, ‘When Irish eyes are smiling'.

‘Tha's it! Tha's it!' roared a mallet-headed fella wit a flat nose, an threw back his head an lowered the glass a porter down his neck, an slammed the glass back on the counter, wipin his mouth wit the sleeve of his donkey jacket, an slammin his hobnailed boot hard down on the floor, an givin a scream like a red injun. ‘Tha's the stuff!' he roared, lowerin his head an shakin his fist in the air.

I pushed me way through the crowd an stopped beside him. ‘Hey, Mister!' I said, tappin yer man on his arm.

He looked down at me. ‘Wha?' he barked.

‘Isn't he a lovely singer?' I said, pointin at yer man croakin his lungs out, nearly stranglin himself throwin his head back, an the veins on his neck blue an stickin out.

‘Ah, by Gawd, he's tha all right,' he agreed, noddin his head up an down, nearly tears in his eyes, an lowerin another pint a porter down his neck. ‘Where did you come out of? Are ye lookin fer someone? Is it yer father ye're after?'

‘No, Mister! I've got no father! He's dead.'

There was a silence while he tried te figure this out. I wasn't goin te tell him I had none, cos he wouldn't have any time fer me knowin I was a bastard. ‘Tha's terrible!' he said. ‘When did he die?'

‘Eh! Before I was born!' He looked at me. ‘Yeah! Me ma said he was drownded at sea, on the way back te Ireland.'

‘Oh, tha's shockin! Shockin altogether!' he said, shakin his head an thinkin about it.

I looked closely at his face, an he was studyin mine. He's a boxer, I thought, makin me face look very mournful. ‘An what are ye doin in here?' he asked me. ‘This is no place for you,' he said, lookin aroun at all the men drinkin.

‘I lost me seat, Mister! I was sittin down beside me ma, ready te go te sleep, an a man came in an pulled me offa me own seat an took it fer himself, an me ma is nearly cryin. An the man won't take any notice of us when we tell him te give it back. An everyone is afraid te say anythin te him.'

‘Is tha right now?' he said, his eyes narrowin.

‘Yeah!' I said, shakin me head up an down sniffin. Me eyes was very sad altogether, lookin inta his face.

He tightened his jaw an took hold of me arm an said, ‘Show me where this bowzie is!'

I rushed out, makin sure he was followin me. ‘Go on, I'm right behind ye!' he said, in a hurry te meet the robber.

‘There he is!' I pointed, pointin me finger at yer man stretched out in me ma's seat.

The boxer took a short run at yer man an lifted him by the coat an dragged him te his feet. Yer man's eyes swung aroun in his head, not knowin wha was happenin te him. His hat flew off, an he shook his head, ‘Me hat! Where's me hat? Who are you?'

The boxer grabbed him by the arse of his trousers, an had another hand grabbin his coat tight aroun his neck, an rushed him out the door. ‘Go on, ye blackguard! Pick on someone yer own size!'

‘Me case! Gimme me case!' An the boxer dropped the man, who staggered, still tryin te figure out wha was happenin te him.

Then the boxer lunged in an grabbed the suitcase an smacked him wit it, sendin him flyin back up the passage. ‘An don't be back here botherin people!' he shouted.

I stood stock still, an me ma's eyes was blinkin like mad. People were starin wit their mouths gapin open at the suddenness of it all. ‘Are ye all right now?' he came steamin back inta the room an looked at me ma.

She nodded her head up an down, smilin, an said quietly, ‘Yes! Thanks very much, I was afraid a me life a tha fella.'

The boxer looked aroun the room, an people who caught his eye nodded at him, sayin, ‘I'm glad he's gone.' The hard man wit the nervous wife puffed out his cheeks an rolled his eyes. He said nothin but was lookin te say, ‘I'm glad tha's over.'

‘Ah, ye're all right now,' the boxer said te me, pattin me on the top of me head. ‘He won't be back in a hurry.' Then he put his hand in his pocket an took out a roll a money, an peeled off a ten bob note an handed it te me. ‘Here! Take tha fer yerself,' an he was gone.

I stood lookin at the red ten shillin note in me hand. An me ma said, ‘Jaysus Christ! Who was tha, Martha?'

‘Oh, just someone I met, Ma.' An I handed her the ten shillins an sat down in me ma's seat.

She laughed as she put the money wit the rest of it. Then me ma started te roar laughin. ‘Yer man didn't know wha happened te him!' an she bent over, tryin te get the big laugh outa her.

Other people started laughin, an the woman who nodded at me ma said, ‘Is he a relation of yours, love?'

‘No!' I said. ‘I never met him before in me life!'

There was silence fer a minute, an then everyone started te roar laughin. ‘Ah, Jaysus! Tha's a good one! An tell us then, how did ye meet him?'

I told her wha happened, an everyone was listenin an laughin in between me story. An when I finished, they were rubbin their eyes an sniffin from all the enjoyment. ‘Ah, but I think he was a poor unfortunate,' another woman said. ‘He wasn't weighted down too heavily up there,' an she pointed te her head. People nodded their heads in agreement, lookin sad.

‘I don't know about tha!' me ma said. ‘He was mad in the right way te pick on her,' an me ma pointed te me.

‘Oh! I don't know about tha,' the woman said. ‘He certainly picked on the wrong one when he picked on tha child.' An everyone started roarin laughin again. An people started talkin te each other an tellin their stories, about why they were leavin Ireland, an who they were goin te stay wit until they got settled. Me ma listened, an I felt very tired an started te nod off, very content in meself.

I woke up, an me ma was shakin me. ‘We're here, Martha!' she said quietly. I looked aroun, an everyone was gettin their things together an movin off. ‘Come on!' me ma said. ‘We have te try an get on the train.'

We followed the crowd off the ship an inta the station. ‘Now boarding, the London for Euston,' the voice said comin outa the loudspeakers.

‘Hurry,' me ma said. An I rushed after her through the crowd, listenin te the whistles blowin an the roar an the steam puffin outa the steam engines. An the noise of people's feet runnin on the platform, tryin te make it onta trains. An the different voices of the culchies, an the Dubliners, an the English, all mixed together. An the air smelt different. An the excitement ran through me. Nothin bad could happen te us now. We were on our own. An we didn't have te worry any more. Me ma jumped on the train, an I hesimitated, lookin down at the tracks, afraid I'd fall down. Then I gave a jump, an I was up. An the whistle blew, an the train shook, an the noise was deafenin, from the roar of the steam. An I followed me ma down the train, lookin fer a seat. ‘Sit down here!' an we sat down next te the tilet. ‘We'll stay here,' me ma whispered. ‘An when we see the ticket collector comin, we'll hide in the tilet.'

‘OK, Ma,' I said slowly, not sure. ‘Ma! Won't he knock on the door te check if anyone's there wit a ticket?'

‘We'll just have te take tha chance,' me ma said, lookin worried.

After a while, me ma got up an looked at me te follow. We went inta the tilet an locked the door. ‘We'll stay here,' she said. ‘It's safer.' I held onta the sink, an she stretched her back against the wall. The train was rockin like mad an flyin. Nothin happened fer ages. An we just stayed quiet, waitin an listenin. Then there was a knock on the door, an we stared at each other, tryin te judge if it was the ticket collector. We heard the feet movin off after knockin again. Me ma raised her eyes te heaven an puffed out her cheeks. ‘This waitin would kill ya,' she mouthed. I nodded me head, wishin it would end. Then the train stopped, after hours an hours of bein locked up. An we opened the door very slowly, puttin our heads out te see wha's happenin.

‘Changin at Crewe for the London train!' an English voice was announcin.

‘Come on, quick!' me ma said. ‘We're gettin off. When's the next train fer London?' me ma asked the man in a uniform.

‘Not for another forty minutes, Madam!'

‘Grand!' me ma said, smilin te me. ‘Come on, let's get a cup a tea.' We went inta the station café. ‘You sit down over there, an I'll get us a sup a tea,' me ma said, headin over te join the queue at the counter. I watched me ma movin up the queue, an when it was her turn, an the woman handed her two cups a tea an saucers, I rushed over, takin the tea, an she carried over a plate a bread an butter. The bread was gone in no time. We were starvin. ‘That'll have te do us,' me ma said. ‘We have te go easy on the money.'

‘Yeah!' I said, feelin very hungry after the lovely tea an bread.

We headed out onta the platform an climbed up onta the train fer London. ‘Come on,' me ma said. ‘We have te go easy on the money. We won't bother sittin down.' An we went straight inta the tilet.

It didn't take long fer people te start bangin on the door. ‘Who's in there?' a woman's voice roared in, but we stayed quiet an listened te people complainin te each other outside.

‘It's been locked for a long time. I'm sure there's someone in there! Open the door!' Someone banged wit their fists, but we didn't move an inch, just stared at each other, wonderin wha was goin te happen. Then the noise stopped, an we let out our breath.

‘Jaysus!' me ma whispered. ‘I can't take much more a this!'

We waited, wit the guts gettin shaken outa us from the rockin of the train, afraid te breathe too loudly. Then there was a big bang on the door, an a man's voice shouted, ‘Tickets!' We held our breaths, afraid te move a muscle. Then another bang. ‘Tickets, please! I'm waitin to check your tickets.' We opened our mouths, lettin air in an out without makin a sound. Then it went quiet, an we waited again, droppin our heads from one shoulder te another, afraid te make a sound.

A long time passed. But then sure enough there was another bang on the door. ‘Tickets! Will you come out, please!' Me ma put her face in her hands, an I stared at the door. ‘Open this door, please. I'm not leavin until you open the door!' Me ma dropped her hands, an she was white as a sheet. She put out the palms of her hands te show we were caught.

‘I can't come out, Mister! I've an awful pain in me belly!' I moaned. ‘Ah! Me stomach is killin me!' an I gave a big fartin noise outa me mouth, stickin me tongue out.

‘How long are you in there?' he asked after a minute.

‘Ah! Oh, me stomach. Just before you knocked. An I'm not comin out fer a long while,' I moaned, ‘cos someone else got here before me. An they made me wait an hour.'

‘All right, love, sorry to bother you.'

‘Ah! Mammy! This is terrible,' I moaned. Then I opened me eyes after I heard his footsteps goin. An me ma was suffocatin herself, stuffin her coat in her nose an mouth, tryin te stop herself from laughin.

‘God Almighty! I thought there fer a minute we were had.'

‘He's gone, Ma!'

‘Yeah! But he might come back.'

I slid against the sink, tryin te ease the stiffness in me. An we waited. At last! The train slowed down an then came te a stop. We waited until we heard the crowds movin an the doors openin, then we pulled the door open quickly an moved inta the crowds an got carried down the station, keepin our eye on the ticket collectors at the gate.

We moved past them quickly, without lookin at them. An we were free! Out an onta the street, an we stood lookin at London. Red buses flyin up an down. Taxis, cars an crowds a people headin in all different directions. ‘Where will we go, Ma?' I said, feelin I owned the world.

‘Paddington!' me ma said. ‘We'll go te Paddington.'

‘Oh, Ma! This is the life. We made it!'

‘Yeah!' me ma said, laughin. ‘Come on this way. We'll go fer the bus.'

I knelt on the seat beside me ma, an we were on the bus headin fer Paddington. I stared inta the face of two black men wit woolly hair, talkin te each other in a foreign language. They stopped talkin when they saw me starin at them. An they stared back. I didn't blink, an just stared harder. I'd never seen a black person before. Only half-castes, but these men were black as the ace of spades. An their teeth was so white. An I wanted te study them.

‘How did ye get so black?' I asked them.

Their mouths dropped, an they looked at each other, an one fella said, ‘You are a very rude little girl!'

‘Ye're very touchy!' I said, gettin annoyed. ‘I only asked ye a civil question. An I wouldn't mind, but ye's weren't sayin tha when the nuns at school roared at us te bring in a penny te help the little black babbies an then bring in more money fer the missionary priests te go out an convert ye's all in Africa.'

I said it all in one big breath an then waited te hear wha they had te say. They just stared at me, sayin nothin. I was very annoyed. ‘Yeah! But there's somethin else ye should know.' I paused; they waited. ‘None of ye's got my penny, cos I wasn't bothered about any black babbies needin te know about God. Ye's could find tha out fer yerselves, cos I was spendin the penny on meself. So wha do ye's think about tha then?'