Lynx Loving (9 page)

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to pay me back. The money is just as much yours as it is mine. I’ve told you that,” Brady said.

“I know, but still...”

“No. No paybacks. I can’t say I’m happy about this decision, and even unhappier that you thought it necessary to lie to me and go behind my back, but obviously, as you put it, I can be a bit overwhelming.”

“You are.” She sighed.

“Why do I have the feeling that you haven’t even told me the worst of it yet?” He speared his fingers through his hair.

“None of what I’m telling you is bad. And I am sorry that I didn’t tell you these things up front. Everyone is always treating me as though I’m still a child, and I guess I’ve acted like one. From now on, I’m not going to hide things from you because I think I might disappoint you.”

He reached for her and pulled her to him for a hug. “You could never disappoint me, sister.”

“Then I really hope you will understand the next thing I’m about to tell you,” she whispered. “I love Landon, and I want to be with him.”

Brady froze then sat back and stared down at her. She held her breath while.

“No,” he said.

“Brady—”

“No!” He stood and paced back and forth before leaning against the railing on the porch and crossing his arms across his chest.

“I’m an adult. I love Landon.”

“How do you know you love him? You haven’t even been on a date.” Brady stared hard at her.

She could tell the moment he realized exactly what had taken place between her and Landon, as the darkness descended over his face like a gathering storm. Brady knew they had made love. “I—”

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Brady clenched his fists and started for the door.

She blocked his way and placed her palm flat on his chest. “If you love me, if you care about me at all, you will let this be. You need to let me make my own choices, and you need to let me and Landon work this out on our own. I’m telling you because I love you and because you are my brother, but who I choose to be with, who I care about, is not your business. You can’t tell me who I can and can’t love.”

Clenching and unclenching his fists, she was happy that he made no move to push her aside. “He’s too old for you.”

“No. He’s not. Besides, love doesn’t care about age. I’m confiding in you because I trust you, not only as my brother but as my best friend, to allow me to make my own decisions. I’m telling you all of this because I need you to support me and to be there for me. I need you because I love you, and you are my family.”

He let out a long puff of breath. “Damn it. No. Landon should have come to me himself.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is.”

Just then, at the worst possible time, Landon stepped out onto the porch.

Brady tensed.
Oh shit.
She cringed when Brady pounced on Landon.

Within seconds Brady and Landon were rolling around on the ground in front of the porch. How the hell they’d gotten down there so quickly, she still wasn’t sure. She ran down the stairs and watched in horror as Landon let Brady pummel him.

“Stop it! Brady.”

But Brady continued to land blow after blow on Landon, and his grunts told her Brady wasn’t holding back. When Brady showed no signs of letting up, she jumped on his back.

“Stop it! Stop it!” she screamed.

He reared up and dumped her on her ass. She hit with a hard thud that knocked the wind from her lungs. Landon watched as she fell, and his demeanor instantly changed from submissive to pissed off. Brady’s next blow was blocked then countered with a right hook to his jaw that sent him reeling back a few steps.

Served him right, but Krista still didn’t want to see either of the two most important men in her life hurt each other. Enough was enough. She shrugged out of her clothing and shifted then jumped between the two, snarling and hissing.

They both stopped, looked at her, then moved toward one another again. When she struck out at them in warning, they froze. Nyssa stepped from the edge of the woods at that moment.

“What the hell is going on?” Nyssa looked at Landon then Brady.

“Your brother and my sister. That’s what’s going on. And I’m going to rip his goddamned head off!” Brady roared.

“If you want to kick my ass, fine,” Landon said. “But so help me, if you hurt her again, I’ll fucking give you the beat-down of your life.”

Brady stopped and stared down at Krista. “Did I hurt you?” She snarled at him. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Damn it. I didn’t mean to dump you on the ground. I’m sorry. I would never hurt you.”

“Okay. Enough is enough,” Nyssa said. “We’ve known for a long time about Krista and Landon. What’s the big deal?”

“It was only speculation before. Now...it’s not.”

“I tried to ignore things between me and your sister,” Landon said. “I didn’t want my feelings for her to cause problems. I know you don’t fully trust me or my brothers still, and I don’t blame you. I never wanted to chance hurting my relationship with Nyssa. I missed out on so much of her life, and I know I’m lucky that she gave us all another chance. I fought it the best I could, but I love Krista. I can’t help the way I feel, and I won’t apologize for loving the most beautiful, courageous, stubborn female I’ve ever met.”

“Landon, I would never turn my back on you because of who you love, and neither will you, right Brady?”

Brady threw his hands up. “This is all just fucking too much right now.” He stomped off into the woods.

Nyssa bent beside Krista. “You know your brother loves you. This has nothing to do with Landon.” She glanced up at her brother then back to Krista. “He will never believe any man is good enough for you.” Nyssa sighed. “You have to understand that it was you and him for so long, he’s afraid of losing you.”

“He’d never lose her,” Landon said.

“I know that...we all know that, but Brady might not realize that one hundred percent. He raised her. She’s practically been his entire life. And now, Krista, you’re grown and don’t need him the way you used to. Just give him some time, okay?” Nyssa stood and started toward the woods where Brady had gone. “Don’t worry. I’ll kick his ass a little for hurting you.” She disappeared into the thick trees.

Krista went to the edge of the woods then shifted behind a tree. “Could you please toss me my clothes, Landon?” He brought them to her, and she quickly dressed. When she made her way over to him, the relief she felt disappeared when she saw the anger still marring his gorgeous features.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Brady only knocked the wind out of me. He would never hurt me. It was an accident.”

“Doesn’t piss me off any less,” he muttered.

She went to him and laid her head against his chest. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“What’s wrong?” She looked up into his eyes.

“I should have been the one who told him about us,” he said.

“What does it matter? He’s my brother. It was just as much my responsibility to tell him as it was yours.”

“No. I’m the man. I should have told him.”

“You’re the man? You are the
man
?” she fumed. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“You aren’t a damn caveman, you know? I’m not some helpless twit that needs to be taken care of or protected or who can’t think for herself.” Anger surged through her.

“No. You are not a helpless twit, and you are very smart, but you already know that. However, yes, it is my job to protect you,” Landon said.

“You’ve protected me fine, Landon. We’ve been through this. This isn’t one-sided. We have each other’s backs.” She sighed. “Look, my brother will come around. All will be fine.”

“Until he does, we can’t be together,” Landon murmured.

“Are you kidding me?” she asked. “After everything that just happened? I told Brady about us so we could be together. He knows. And you said... You said you loved me. Did you mean it?” Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes.

“Yes, but until Brady accepts our relationship, it will cause problems between him and my sister. I can’t do that to her.”

Krista rolled her eyes. “In case you haven’t noticed, your sister can take care of herself. Us being together is not going to hurt Nyssa and Brady’s relationship. Nothing can. They love each other. Whether we are together or not, Brady knows and Nyssa’s feelings about us will not change one way or the other.” Krista felt a headache coming on. “You know, Landon. I’m beginning to think that no matter what, you’ll find an excuse to keep us apart. I’m starting to believe you don’t really want to be with me.”

“How can you say that?”

“How can I say that? You say you love me, yet every time we’re together you feel guilty about it. You say we can’t be together until Brady knows about us. He knows about us now, yet we still can’t be together because it might cause problems between Nyssa and him.” She put her palms up in surrender. “Once Brady accepts our relationship, what will be next?”

“It’s isn’t like that.”

“It’s exactly like that.” The tears escaped down her cheeks, and she backed toward the porch. “You know what? I was right before. I don’t want to be with a man who can’t fight for me. I’m done. I’m out. I can’t do this anymore. You’re ripping my heart out, and it’s the last time I let you do it.”

“Can’t fight for you? You did just see me let your brother pummel the shit out of me, right?”

“Yes. And I saw you take it. You should have fought him back from the beginning. I appreciate that you fought when you thought I was hurt, but damn it, Landon. No one deserves to have their ass kicked because they love someone. You allowing Brady to do it, makes me think that you don’t think our love is worth fighting for. I don’t know. Maybe this just wasn’t meant to happen.”

Before Landon could say anything else, she ran into the house, to her room, and flung herself across her bed where she sobbed until exhaustion overtook her.

T
he next several days were filled with tension, happiness, and every other emotion—good and bad. Nyssa’s other brothers, Thomas and Garrett, had joined the happy reunion of welcoming home Dylan. Krista loved seeing Brady so happy, and also cherished her growing family, but it didn’t make her heart ache any less over Landon.

He’d kept his distance from her since the night they’d returned from their trip. He was careful to never get too close or be alone with her. Yet, the chemistry between them continued to burn hot. Even from across the room, his gaze could sear a hole through her back and make her body ache for his possession.

She had to stick to her guns this time, though. She hoped that her decision to end things between them would finally make him see how much they belonged together, but each passing hour that he chose to do nothing about them being apart dimmed that hope.

She still loved him, would always love him, but she couldn’t make him want to be with her.
That’s not the problem.
No. It had been obvious that he wanted to be with her, but she couldn’t heal his past haunts for him. Until he dealt with his guilt over his mother’s death and abandoning Nyssa, a relationship with him was a recipe for disaster.

She truly wanted to help him, wanted to be there for him, but she didn’t know how. And the fact that he’d let her in only to promptly push her away, told her he probably wasn’t sure how to come to terms with the past either. She could see the love and need burning bright in his eyes when he looked at her. But even the ache that knowledge caused couldn’t break down the logic of the situation.

On a positive note, two weeks from today would mark the first day the construction of the shelter would start. She was excited about being able to make a difference in the world where animal treatment was concerned.

“Hey,” Nyssa said from beside her.

“Hi.” Krista smiled. “It must be wonderful to have your family together again.

Nyssa nodded. “It is. I’ve missed them. I’ve missed a lot of things, but I’ve been making up for that and will continue to do so,” she said in a rush.

“I’m happy you met my brother. You’re good for him. He needs you,” Krista told her.

Nyssa caught Brady’s gaze from the other side of the room, and the heat of their stares slithered along Krista’s spine until she felt the urge to fan herself. “I need him, too. And he’s good for me, as well.”

“Yes. I believe you two are perfect together.”

Nyssa turned to her and frowned. “There is no such thing as
perfect
where a relationship is concerned. Relationships are hard work, sacrifice, and compromise.”

Krista laughed. “Then why bother?”

“Because the closeness, the warm arms holding me throughout the night, the honesty, the knowing that someone always has my back and will share then dry my tears, is worth it. I said relationships are hard work. I didn’t say they weren’t
worth
the work when you find the right person.”

“Hm,” Krista murmured.

“Speaking of which, what is up with you and Landon?”

Krista felt the warmth creeping into her cheeks. “Nothing. Nothing at all is up with me and Landon.”

“I can see that. Everyone can. The question is, why?”

Krista sighed then looked at Nyssa. “He can’t let go of the guilt, and until he does, a close relationship with him is not possible.”

“The guilt?” Nyssa’s brows knitted.

Krista leaned close and whispered, “He can’t let go of the guilt he feels over abandoning you. He was worried that by being with me, Brady would be pissed—which we all knew Brady was going to be pissed—and upset you. He didn’t want to do anything that might cause problems after finding you again. He loves you and is petrified of losing his family again.”

“I’ve told him that I forgive him. The past is the past. I love Landon, and while I was hurt by his actions, or rather inactions, I understand what grief can do to a person. Our mother’s death scarred us all. She was the only thing that kept our family together. She was the only one who provided happy peace for our family. Once she was gone, my father was uncontrollable. She was the anchor to his insanity, and when she was out of the picture, it all fell apart. None of us, as individuals, can be blamed for the mental breakdowns her death caused.”