Lynette Vinet - Emerald Trilogy 02 (8 page)

Katie shook her head. “Not well,” she whispered.
“Seems like she’s lost the will to live, ma’am.
Barely eats anything and is wasting away to nothing.”

Cecelia’s skeletal thinness was evident even though many blankets covered her. She was sleeping and Allison decided not to disturb her. She left her aunt to Katie’s care and with Beth’s help, she dressed for dinner. Swishing down the staircase in her royal blue gown, she nearly bumped into Paul who was just coming through the library doors.

“I thought I’d be the one who was late for supper,” she said in lieu of a greeting, and smiled warmly.

There was a distracted expression on Paul’s face, as if his thoughts had been elsewhere and she had brought him back to reality. “There were many matters that needed my attention, and I had to convince the tenants that change will come soon to the estate.”

“What sort of change?” she asked, puzzled.

“Living conditions, my dear. Or haven’t you noticed, cloistered here in the manor, how your tenants live? The Fairfaxes haven’t been the most humane of landlords, and I intend to remedy that.”

“But, Paul, why make any changes? This is how they’ve lived for generations.”

He grabbed her arm, and she fell silent, frightened by his dark, angry expression. “I thought you were different, Allison, but I see you are the same as Cecelia and all the Fairfaxes before you. In your heart, you consider yourself better than the lowly Irish.”

“That’s not true,” she cried, fear spreading inside her. “I care a great deal about our people!”

“How noble, but you’re voicing hollow sentiments. Do you love the Irish, Allison? Do you care for the downtrodden?”

“Of course.”

“Would you welcome an Irishman in your bed?”

She colored fiercely as the blood pounded in her temples. The man standing before her looked like her beloved Paul, but bitterness disfigured his features. “I don’t like this turn of conversation. Please, let us eat and have a pleasant evening.”

“Answer me, Allison!”

“This is absurd! I’m married to you, not to some paddie who works in the fields!”

He smiled, but his anger was not tempered with amusement. “You really are a Fairfax mouthing Fairfax words. I had honestly thought you were a breed apart, but I see now I was mistaken. I know you don’t understand. You have no conception of what I’m talking about, but one day you will, and on that day you’ll be sorry.” He pulled her against him in a quick decisive hold and kissed her roughly. Pushing the top of her gown down, he exposed her breasts to his wandering hands.

Now she was actually trembling, and attempted to move away from him, but he held her fast.
“Paul, not here in the hallway!
The servants…” she moaned.

“To hell with them!
They’re only lowly Irish, and have no deep thoughts, no delicate feelings like you, my Fairfax love.”

He lowered her onto the cold, stone floor. His mouth pressed viciously upon hers. If this man hadn’t been
her husband, she’d have screamed for help. Paul’s mouth, his hands were everywhere upon her. Then she felt him lift her gown and tug at her chemise.

“Paul, Paul!” she cried and pushed against him, unable to believe this was happening to her. It was almost as if he didn’t really see her or hear her. She grabbed at his hands and stilled them, and somehow her touch upon him caused him to grow quiet and return to the reality of what he was doing.  

He looked at her finally, as if saw her for the first time.

“Allison,” he groaned and raised himself off her. He pulled down her dress, and she scrambled from beneath him, too stunned to say anything. Never in her life had she felt so confused, even fearful. What had happened to cause this? She quickly rearranged her clothing and stood up.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a raw voice, his eyes begging her for forgiveness. She needed distance between them at the moment and hurriedly she ascended the stairs, went to her room, and bolted the door.

 
“I am truly sorry about last night,” Paul apologized again over the breakfast table the following morning. He leaned forward in his chair, his dark eyes searching Allison’s face for some sign that she had forgiven him. But he saw nothing but blankness. All his life he had been able to twist women around his finger, starting with his mother and then his mother’s friend Anna, who had been almost like a second mother to him. Women quickly forgave him anything when he used his charm. However, he didn’t think it would work to his advantage now. Clearly, Allison had been badly shaken, and he sincerely regretted his behavior.

She turned her face toward his, coldly appraising him. “What, may I ask, caused such behavior?”

“I detest the conditions under which your tenants live, the total disregard for their welfare, and I suppose I blamed you for that since your family is enriched by their poverty.”

“Ah, the sins of the fathers.”
She shot a withering glance.

His face shone with a steadfast purpose. “I am determined to make life more tolerable for these people.”

Suddenly her expression softened. “I shall not interfere, Paul.” She stood up, and he was instantly beside her.

“Forgive me, Allison.” He took her stiff body in his arms, hoping to melt her resistance. He had never before been denied anything he wanted. “I’ve never in my life begged a woman for forgiveness.”

“Paul, I knew so very little about you when we married,” she said in a shaky voice,” and I still know nothing more than your name. Sometimes you—frighten me.”

He inhaled deeply, his mouth twisting into a grimace. “Again, my love, I apologize.”

“I gather it’s very hard for you to confide in me. Perhaps I was a fool for marrying you. Whenever I ask if you love me, you never really answer, and it hurts terribly. I believe you enjoy having power over my body and my emotions. I think I now know the answer to that question.”

She looked so lovely standing before him in a dress the color of an autumn sunset, and he was moved by her pain. But he couldn’t reach out to her or assuage her hurt. It wouldn’t be fair to give her false hope despite the stirrings of passion within him. Allison was the niece of the man who had taken his father’s property, his birthright. To actually fall in love with her was unthinkable.

He picked up his riding crop, his light colored shirt enhancing the bronzed hue of his face. “I must attend to my duties, my love. We can discuss this some other time.”

“As you wish,” she said, trembling violently, “but my bedroom door remains locked to you.”

He stopped just inside the doorway, and for a split second, a torturous pain ripped through his insides. However, he managed a devastating smile. “You are the lady of the manor, dear heart, and may lock your door to me, but if you do, I shall seek comfort from other quarters. By the way, I wrote to my parents months ago. Expect their arrival at some point in the future.”

~ ~ ~

Beth and Peg crossed the fields as they made their way to the Laceys for supper. Beth knew she’d have no appetite, as she had cared very little for food the last few weeks. Maeve Lacey had insisted they join them for the evening meal, and Beth guessed she was again trying to make a match between herself and Patrick.

Paul Flanders passed them at a distance, his blonde hair blowing free in the wind and looking arrogant and handsome on a horse as dark as pitch. Suddenly Peg stopped, seemingly stunned at the sight. “Quint,” she breathed through colorless lips.

Puzzled, Beth looked to make certain that her mother’s gaze wasn’t on someone else. “That’s Mr. Paul, the one who married Miss Allison,” she said.

“Is it?” Peg asked weakly,
then
turned away. “He looks like someone I knew … a long time ago.”

“Miss Allison is lucky to have such a handsome husband.” Beth sighed.

“Aye.”
Peg recovered herself and they continued on their way. “What about you and Patrick?”

“I don’t
love
him.”

Peg sniffed. “Well, a body would never know it to look at you, girl. Whenever you’re around him, your eyes follow him.”

“That’s not true! Anyway, what would you be
knowing
about it? You’ve only been here a short time and only want me to be wed so you can sit idle all day!” Beth hated thinking about Patrick, yet that strange feeling always seeped into her blood when he was near. She hated to admit she
did
secretly watch him. She enjoyed looking at him because he was so muscular and unaware of his virile good looks.

A sly look passed over Peg’s face. “You better get the lad to marry you, girl. Otherwise, your babe will be born without a name!”

Beth stopped in her tracks, incredulous. “I-I’m not with child,” she stammered.

Peg shook her head. “I saw how you were throwing up your insides in the pantry the other day, and you’ve got the look a woman gets when the seed is planted. Aye, you’ll soon be a mother, so you’d best get your Patrick to the altar so you don’t end up like your own ma.” Walking on, Peg left Beth alone in the meadow.

Beth stared after the older woman in disbelief. I
can’t be with child,
she said to herself over and over, but she feared Peg was right. She did have all the symptoms but hadn’t wanted to admit it. She mentally calculated that her last flux had been two months past. Sinking onto the soft grass, she swallowed hard as a knot formed in her throat. She’d have to tell Howard. How would he react?

Once the shock wore off, she got up and walked towards the Laceys’ cottage. A feeling of joy began to replace her earlier dread and incredulity. She loved Howard and would be proud to bear his child. She decided he must love her. Perhaps he’d even marry her…

Allison’s new relatives arrived at Fairfax Manor on a cold afternoon, just as the sun set above the mountains, bathing the land in a golden glow. No sooner had they descended from the carriage than she was enfolded in the warm arms of Paul’s mother and greeted affectionately, as if she had known the woman all her life. His brother kissed her shyly on the cheek, but Paul’s father only wished her well, a stony look clearly etched on his face. If it hadn’t been for Cecelia’s expert staff, Allison would never have been able to cope. Though she had known in advance of their possible arrival, she felt unprepared and not at all like mistress of the manor. However, after supper that night when they sat in the drawing room and drank warming liqueurs before the blazing hearth, she relaxed enough to converse and discovered that she truly liked Mrs. Flanders and Daniel. However, her father-in-law eyed her with what she feared was cold contempt.

“Was the voyage pleasant?” Allison asked Dera.

“Yes, it passed much more smoothly than I remembered from the first time I made the trip.”

“You have traveled across the ocean before? Was it on a trip from Ireland?” Allison asked innocently, not knowing that Dera had fled Fairfax Manor with the Frenchman she later married after Cecelia had cheated her out of her inheritance as Avery Fairfax’s widow. Dera’s downcast eyes and burning face gave Allison cause to wish she had never inquired.

“Yes,” was the only answer Dera
made.

Allison looked in perplexity and confusion at everyone else, feeling Paul’s gaze on her and wishing she were safe in her room. Daniel broke the
embarrassed
silence.

“Mother has never been much of a traveler since she arrived in Louisiana. She’s a homebody and quite content to live her life at Green Meadows, our home.”

Allison smiled brightly at Daniel, grateful that he had extricated her from a puzzling
faux pas
. “Paul has told me many times how lovely Louisiana is. I should like to see it someday.”

“Whenever Paul decides to share you with us for a visit, I’ll personally take you on a tour of the house and grounds. I know you’d love New Orleans, too. I’m sure a woman like you would respond to its exotic beauty and lushness, Allison.” Daniel’s appraising eyes swept over her face, and she found herself warming more to him by the moment because she was sure his compliments were sincere. She wondered why his elder brother couldn’t be as unassuming and charming.

Paul left his place by the fireplace and came to sit beside her. “You must excuse Daniel’s enthusiasm, my dear. He’s still very young.”

Hot color burned Daniel’s face. Though Allison had seen the affection between the two brothers earlier in the evening, she now felt she had unexpectedly become a source of contention between them. Quint roused from his sullen contemplation of her and spoke to Dera. “Let’s be getting to bed, now, Dera. I’d like to rest.”

Immediately Dera rose to her feet, and Allison sensed she was grateful not to answer any more questions. After they withdrew and went upstairs, Allison turned to Paul. “I had no idea your parents were Irish.”

Paul’s brows shot up. “Whatever makes you think that?”

“I’ve lived among the Irish long enough to recognize an Irish accent when I hear one, no matter how slight. Your mother speaks that way, too. Are they ashamed of their heritage?”

Daniel got up and moved uneasily about the room while Paul sat casually, barely moving a muscle. “No. They are Irish and proud of their lineage.”

The conversation between herself and Paul the night he had almost forced himself upon her came back to her. He had asked her if she would welcome an Irishman into her bed, and she had unwittingly insulted him by calling his people “paddies.” She remembered he had told her one day she’d be sorry, and now she felt like a complete fool.

“I wish you’d told me,” she said coolly.

He spoke with a trace of bitterness in his voice. “My love, I doubt it would have made a great deal of difference to you.”

Biting her lip, she looked away and noticed the harsh set to Daniel’s mouth. Had she somehow stupidly insulted him, too? Placing her glass on a table, she rose. “I have some sketches I’d like to do before I retire. If you’ll both excuse me…”

Daniel’s interest perked. “Allison, do you draw?” When she nodded shyly, a huge grin broke out on his handsome face. “I do, too. Would you mind showing me your sketches some time? I’d love to see them.”

“I’m really not very good yet,” she admitted timidly. “I’ve only just begun learning to paint, and I have a great deal to learn about mixing pigments.”

Daniel laughed in delight. “Why, I can show you anything you’d like. I think in my own way, I’m rather good.”

“I’m glad you aren’t afflicted with false modesty,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “I’d be pleased if you could instruct me.”

“When?” he asked eagerly.
“In the morning?”

She nodded in agreement. “That would be perfect.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but Allison needs her rest.” Without ceremony Paul took her arm and ushered her from Daniel’s company as though she were a small child who didn’t know how to behave with strangers. As they mounted the staircase, she shrugged his hand off.

“Please don’t play the solicitous husband, Paul. It truly doesn’t become you.”

“We must keep up appearances, my love. Otherwise, everyone will know you don’t allow me in your bed.”

“And whose fault is that? I don’t wish to be man-handled again.”

His expression darkened with an unreadable emotion. However, he escorted her to her door and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well, sweet. I shall be occupied elsewhere.”

With a pang, she wondered if he had a mistress. After Beth helped her undress and was sent on her way, Allison blew out the candle and gazed at the full moon outside her window. It wasn’t that long ago that she had wished on the moon and stars to find the husband prophesied for her. That wish had come true, but in ways she hadn’t bargained for.

The sound of a horse’s hoofs came to her ears, and she looked out the window. Paul rode furiously away from the manor down the darkened road in the direction of the Grangers’. A sick feeling clawed at her insides, and she surmised that Constance was now her husband’s mistress. Of course Constance would be the one. He had always wanted Constance, even when he had pursued Allison and caused her to disregard her aunt’s advice. A huge sob tore from her throat and bitter tears slid down her cheeks. She knew now that he had never loved her…

 
~ ~ ~

Howard’s arms encircled Beth’s waist. “You’re late tonight, love.”

She nodded, basking in the brilliance of his smile. Then her face clouded with uneasiness. “Miss Allison required me.”

“Beth, do you know that Paul Flanders is in my drawing room at this very moment, enthralling my sister with his charm?”

“But that can’t be!” Beth cried. “I mean, he loves my mistress. Howard, I’m feared you’re mistaken.”

The innocence of her remark amused him. “My little lamb, you have a great deal to learn about men.” He stroked her cheek. “I think I’ve been a damned good teacher.”

She blushed, her voice drifting into a hushed whisper. “I love you, Howard.”

“I love you too,” he said, but there was no tenderness in his tone.

His skillful hands began tugging at the front of her blouse as he guided her to the cot in the room off the stables. She knew what he loved, and she longed to give in to the pleasurable sensations she knew awaited her, but she pulled back and barely had the courage to look him in the face. She had to tell him.

“I’m carrying your child,” she said, her voice quaking.

She didn’t know what his reaction would be; however, after a few silent seconds he kissed her heartily upon the mouth. “How wonderful, love!”

“Then you’re happy about the babe?”

“Certainly.
Why shouldn’t I be? Life is a miracle.”

She
sighed
her relief as joy spread into every pore of her being. Howard was truly happy over her news, and now, so was she. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck. “More than anything, I want to give you a son.”

He hugged her tightly. “And more than anything, I want to make love to you,” he whispered into her ear.

She followed him to the cot where they made gentle love, almost as if he held her in reverence and feared harming her. Later she snuggled beside him, listening to the beating of his heart, knowing that within her belly a new life had started, a combination of her life and his.

He planted a small kiss on her forehead. “I know the child will be a son. I’ve always been partial to boys—hope to have a slew of them when I marry. After the baby’s birth, you must keep me informed about everything. I’d like to know the first word the little tyke utters and when he takes his first step.”

She raised her innocent eyes to his face. “Howard, you’ll be there with me when those things happen. I know your family won’t be approving our marriage, but I am carrying your babe, and I swear to you I’ll make you a fine wife.”

He tilted a brow, looking at her uncertainly. “Beth, my pet, surely you don’t expect me to marry you. It’s out of the question.”

She froze at his words, staring at him blankly.

“Believe me, I do care about you,” he said. “However, I must marry a woman from my own class. You can understand that.”

Dismay shadowed her face, and it seemed an eternity had passed before she spoke. “I thought you loved me,” she whispered.

He nodded. “I do.”

“Then marry me, Howard! I’m having your child.”

“You’re not the only woman who has born my child; there are quite a few of my little bastards running wild across the countryside.”

She groaned in agony and sat up. Her hair streamed wildly about her face, her eyes growing large and liquid. “I don’t know what to do,” she murmured distractedly.

“I told you I’ll take an interest in the child. Why, I shall even give you an adequate sum to help out. However, marriage is impossible.”

He didn’t understand her situation and Beth knew it would do no good to tell him. She couldn’t bear a child without a father and allow her flesh and blood to live out its life plagued by whispers and sly looks as she had been.
Merciful Jesus,
she prayed silently,
what can I do?

She didn’t want him to remember her with a face full of tears, so she wiped the stray ones away and mustered the courage to leave his side. She began dressing.

“You can stay the night, Beth,” he suggested. “We can make love until morning…”

Stiffening, she shot him a malevolent glance. “I see I’m only fit for your pleasure,
my lord.”

He sighed in exasperation. “Well, if you’re going to behave like a bitch, perhaps it’s better that you leave. But I don’t see why your condition must interfere with love-making. In fact, I’ve always found pregnant women enticing. We could continue to make love until several months before you give birth. After all, you’re one of the best lovers I’ve ever had.”

In spite of her predicament she couldn’t help smiling, as she imagined herself waddling along the road and sneaking into the stables to make love with the father of her unborn child. But she wanted Howard to realize how badly he had abused her.

“You’re the only lover I’ve ever had,” she said. “However, my lord, don’t be waiting for me. I’ll no longer be requiring your services.” She finished dressing and quickly scampered away before she lost her nerve and shamelessly threw herself into his arms. She still loved him and craved his lovemaking, but she’d no longer play the fool. He called after her, and she heard him scrambling out of the bed, but she had already left the stable and headed for the open meadow.

Beth ran with no direction. She couldn’t go back to the Laceys to spend the night. She was too worked up, sure that the tears she controlled would spill forth once Mrs. Lacey asked her trouble and comforted her as she knew she would. Maeve was more of a mother to her than Peg, and Beth had always turned to her. However, she doubted if even the kind and gentle Maeve would understand and forgive her. And she didn’t want to return to the manor, couldn’t bear the thought of pretending to Miss Allison that nothing was wrong.

She waited uncertainly by the cattle pen and watched the clouds flit across the moon. What was she to do?

At that instant a hand pressed down upon her shoulder, and she turned. Her eyes grew large with fear but then she relaxed when she realized that Patrick was its owner.

“You should be abed, Beth. ‘
Tis late and cold.”

“I know the time.” She felt like a disobedient child who had been apprehended by a concerned parent. “What are you doing up so late?”

He pointed to a small calf who peered at them with huge brown eyes.
“A new arrival.”

“How sweet the wee thing is,” Beth said and opened the wooden gate. She bent down beside it and patted its head. A short distance away stood the calf’s mother, watching in calm disinterest.

“Daisy knows you won’t hurt her baby,” Patrick said and knelt beside her. “You couldn’t hurt a soul. But I think you’re the one who is hurting. What has the great lord done to you this time?”