Lying Lips (10 page)

And all because I was afraid and terrified of facing my demons.

The madness needed to stop, but how could I stop it without hurting anyone? Without hurting Asanti? Without hurting Ashton? And especially without hurting my children? Without hurting them anymore than they were already hurt?

The knocking on the window made me jump. I turned quickly to my left and was surprised to see Asanti standing there knocking on the tinted glass. Before the driver had the chance to open the door for him, I quickly put my phone away and adjusted myself to look as if I was doing nothing but waiting.

And the deception continued.

“I’m sorry about that, sweetheart,” he told me with a kiss to the cheek. “I didn’t think it would take that long. Maybe I should have taken you home first,” he stated casually.

“Home?” I asked him, the confusion all over my face. “We’re in Los Angeles, Asanti.” For a moment I feared that stress was taking a mental toll on him.

He simply smiled at me. “I have a small home here since I do a good portion of business here.”

I felt like a fool. How could I claim to be Mrs. Styles and not know how much property Mr. Styles owned? I was fooling no one but myself. “Are there any other homes that I should know about?” I was almost afraid to ask.

“No,” he said to me with a straight face. “But there is one that I should know about.”

Now I was really confused. “What are you talking about?”

“The home that we own in New Orleans,” he replied as if I was experiencing some kind of mental issues.

Little did he know.

“Not really much to tell about that,” I began in an attempt to distract him, “but a lot to tell about what happened with the restaurant,” I said as we began to pull away from the site.

I’d cross that house bridge when I got to it.

Chapter 10

The house in Los Angeles was nothing short of amazing. It seemed that Asanti’s definition of a small home was a sprawling estate that sat on a lot covering a good five acres. The home was perched high atop a hill that overlooked the city.

It was breathtaking.

The house was almost completely made of glass and every room boasted a spectacular view that would stun anyone into silence. I was awestruck by it and spent the entire first hour there wandering around like a lost child taking it all in.

“You like?” He looked at me with those eyes that saw my soul.

“I love,” was my honest reply.

Before either of us could say another word, Asanti’s phone rang and he answered. Listening to the caller for a few seconds, he held up one finger, moved the phone from his lips and spoke. “Sweetheart, I have to take this, it’s about the restaurant. I’m afraid I’ll be a while.” He looked genuinely apologetic.

“It’s fine. I can entertain myself,” I shooed him away.

Wasting no time, he quickly stepped from the room leaving me all alone. That was when my demons returned. That was when the Bentencourt’s re-entered my psyche.

It was time to call home.

“Hello,” Ashton spoke immediately following the first ring, “London, where are you?” The urgency in his voice was unmistakable. “Are you okay?”

“Sweetheart, I’m okay.” I needed a good lie and I needed it fast. “I’m fine.”

“Where are you?” He demanded again.

The tone of his voice told me that I’d better give him an answer quickly. “I’m in D.C. again.”

“D.C.?” He questioned, stunned. “What the hell are you doing back there?”

“Baby, it’s complicated,” I began, having no idea what I was going to tell him. “It’s—” Suddenly I heard footsteps coming in my direction and hurriedly hung up the phone.

What else could I do?

“Sorry about that,” Asanti spoke as he re-entered the room. “I ended the conversation as quickly as I could.” 

Then my phone rang.

Loud.

Very loud.

And Asanti heard it.

Now what the hell am I going to do?

“Are you going to answer that?” He asked me with a smile that sent chills down my spine.

“No. It’s probably my job at this hour and I’m too tired for work right now,” I quickly offered an answer.

“If it’s your job at this hour, it’s probably a very good reason they’re calling you, Legaci. Maybe a good story.” He stared at me intently. “I just took a call from my job, it’s perfectly okay if you take one from yours.”

“Not now,” I insisted. “Right now I want to be with my husband.”

My heart pounded in my chest and I was a nervous wreck. Did he know? If he didn’t then why was he looking at me as if he did? I needed to calm down. I needed to think straight. I needed to get a plan together to handle this. But what?  What was I going to do?

Then the ringing stopped.

And immediately started again.

But this time it wasn’t my phone that was ringing. It was Asanti’s.

He retrieved the phone from his slacks and without verifying the caller’s identity he answered.

“Styles,” was the only word he said.

Then my phone began ringing again.

And my husband simply stared at me.

It seemed there was no real way out of the situation I was in so I resigned myself to answer the call I knew was from my husband, the first one.

The main one.

“Hello,” I spoke as my entire body shook.

“Why did you hang up on me? Why are you acting so crazy? What is going on, London?” Ashton was pissed.

That was a rarity.

I held up a finger for Asanti to see, then mouthed the words excuse me. I stepped out of the room quickly and walked out into the hall.

“Ashton, I’m sorry, but I’m undercover trying to get a story that’s very dangerous.” I spoke quickly. I wanted to be done with that call as soon as was possible. “I really couldn’t take the time to get back home, pack, and then explain everything to you. I can’t talk now, but I promise you that as soon as I get a free moment, I’ll call you.”

Silence.

Then frustration.

“And you couldn’t text me? Email me? Let me know something instead of leaving us all here worried about you?”

“You know how it is when I go under. I can’t just drop everything and possibly expose myself just to make you guys feel better. Right now I’m in the company of some very dangerous people and I have to keep my motive a secret. We’ve been through this before. You know the drill.” My voice was harder than I intended, crueler. But I didn’t have time to cater to his emotions at that moment.

Silence again.

“Do what you do, London,” Ashton began. He sounded less furious. Angry still, just not as much. “But when you get back, we have some serious talking to do.”

“I understand, and I’ll explain everything in more detail then. Okay?” I asked when I got no sound from him.

“That’s fine,” was all I heard from him before he hung up in my face.

“Damn!” I  exclaimed.

“Problem, sweetheart?” Asanti asked from immediately behind me.

Instantly I jumped practically out of my skin. He’d scared the hell out of me. I’d had no idea he was behind me, and especially not that close to me.

“No. Just an angry coworker. Nothing I can’t handle,” I waved my hand as if to dismiss the conversation, but Asanti stood his ground as he continued to hold my gaze.

“Why?”

“Why what?” I asked him, all innocence on my deceptive face.

Asanti just looked at me like a father would look at a lying child. Like he knew that I knew what he was talking about. He wasn’t so easily fooled. I became so nervous that I felt my bones begin to rattle and I was sure he knew of my deceit. But he wanted an answer.

So I had to give him one.

“I just got back into town and already I’m gone again. I was supposed to meet up with him and discuss this exposé about Hurricane Katrina that we’re partnering on,” I quickly lied. “We were supposed to get together earlier today and of course you know I was a no show.” In my nervous state, I hurriedly ran my fingers through my hair. “He wanted to reschedule for first thing in the morning and I had to decline because as you can see I’m nowhere near New Orleans. He’s not too happy about that.”

There, I did it.

I came up with another lie.

It seemed that I was getting very good at lying. I had just come up with a brilliant one for Ashton and the kids, and less than a minute later I had successfully gushed out another one for Asanti.

Me and my lying lips!

“I’m sorry,” my husband said to me. “I didn’t mean to disrupt what you had going on. I just—”

“Baby, you owe me no apologies. It’s not your fault. It’s all mine and I accept responsibility for that,” I was truthful. “What’s done is done. I’ll deal with that situation later.”

For a moment Asanti simply stared at me. Then he spoke. “What have I done to deserve such a wonderful wife?” He then pulled me to him. “I’m blessed enough to have a wife who’s willing to put her life on hold just to be there for me.” He kissed me gently on the lips. “I don’t deserve you, Legaci.”

No. You don’t.

You deserve so much better, I told myself.

The next day when I woke it was almost noon and I found that I was not just alone in bed, but that I was alone in the house. Asanti had left me a note telling me that he’d called a staff meeting and that he would be out most of the morning. I was left to my own devices.

As I showered and then changed into clothes that my husband had miraculously made appear, I thought about what lie I would tell Ashton when I finally called him. And since I didn’t know the exact time Asanti would be back, I knew that I had to make that call quickly. It was almost afternoon.

Retrieving the phone from the location I’d left it in the night before, I walked out into the beautiful backyard with the equally lovely rose garden and I began to pace.

What was I going to say?

What new lie was I going to tell?

I really didn’t have time to delay and contemplate. In fact, there was no more time to put anything off. I’d done more than enough of that. It was now time to face the music even though I didn’t want to dance to the deadly beat that was playing. However, I’d left myself with no choice. I had to put on my dancing shoes.

“Good morning,” Ashton answered the phone on the very first ring, almost as if he was sitting on top of it waiting for my call.

“Good morning,” was the only thing that I could think of.

“I’m listening,” he spoke so coldly. So angrily. In all the years of our marriage, I’d never heard my husband sound like that.

“I’m sorry,” is how I chose to begin. At least that was the truth even if nothing else I told him after that would be.

Then it hit me!

What I would say.

And before I could stop myself the words began flowing like a river. 

“I’m on the trail of an exposé. I can’t give you details other than to say that it’s dangerous. I’m undercover and in the company of some very prominent people that have dangerous ties to the political world. And right now, wherever they go I try to go as well.”

“I see,” were the words Ashton chose to use.

“Honey, if I can break this story,” I became excited as I spoke, knowing that from conception this lie was a great one. A practically fool proof one, “If I do this right, expose it right, this could save the lives and the money of countless Americans, and put some very corrupt people behind bars.”

“And you couldn’t turn the piece down?” He asked solemnly.

“Yes, I could have. But Ashton, baby, this is a big one. An important one, and no one can cover it like I can. You know that.” It shamed me to know what I was doing. But I was in too deep to step out now.

“How long will it be this time, London?” There was frustration in his voice. “How long will you be undercover this time?”

“As long as it—” I began, but was cut off by the harsh sound of Ashton’s voice.

“Let me guess. As long as it takes to get the story. Is that what you’re going to say?” It
was
what I was going to say. Verbatim. What was becoming of me? Ashton went on. “And let me guess again. I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that my wife is practically never home. That she’s been behaving very strangely lately, pulling disappearing acts and whatnot. And now, she’s off gallivanting around the United States in the company of dangerous people who could take her out if she wasn’t careful enough.” He spoke quietly, gravely. “People who could make me a widower and make our kids motherless.” He paused. “And all for the sake of a story? And
maybe
a prestigious award?”

I quickly resented his tone.

“It’s my job, Ashton. A job you know I love.” I suddenly had the urge to defend what wasn’t even real.

“More than your family it seems.”

“Not more than my family. That’s not fair for you to say that.” He was getting under my deceptive skin.

“What’s not fair is that you haven’t been here in a month. You come home for one night and you’re a complete wreck. Then without warning the very next day you’re gone again. What’s not fair is that our children couldn’t sleep last night for worrying about their mother who’s off playing private investigator and putting her life in danger.”

His words stung. Hard. I just knew that if I looked down I would find welts forming on my flesh. And still he went on. “And I have no choice but to accept what’s happening because I knew this could happen when you took on the job. But our kids, London? Our kids don’t know how to cope with this,” he stated. “They’re worried about you. They miss their mother.”

As I stood there on top of that hill looking down on Tinseltown, I felt nothing but shame. Shame and regret. How did I get there? Where did it all go wrong?

Up until that point my life was wonderful. I had the job, the husband, the children of my dreams. I was happy. Content. Life couldn’t have been any better. And for reasons I didn’t understand, I had to go and mess it all up.

And for what?

Ashton was right. I was hurting our kids. Hurting them tremendously. But what would have been more terrible was if I told them the truth of what was going on. The truth about their mother’s double life. That would devastate them even more.

So there I stood, after having laid some of the cards out on the table. I simply stood there and held the phone having no idea what to say next. But Ashton knew what to say.

“I love you, London. I’ll support you no matter what because you’ve done it for me for the last twenty five years.” He was quiet for a moment. “But for the sake of our children, can you do what you have to do as fast as possible and please come home?”

The exhaustion in his voice ate at my gut. What kind of demon was I?

The only thing stopping me from calling it all quits and going home right then and there was cowardice. I was too afraid of hurting Asanti and too afraid of hurting the Bentencourt’s. And rather than hurt anyone, I was taking steps to ensure that I would hurt everyone. At that point I was even disgusted with myself.