Lust (The Stripped Bare Series Book 1) (21 page)

“You’re going to meet your great Aunt. You’ll have so much fun.”

“But, Mum. Why aren’t you coming with us?” He looks so sad at the thought of me leaving.

“I have to work, baby, but I promise I’ll call you all the time.” He smiles, giving me a huge hug before jumping off the bed and gathering his toys to play with in the car.

“I’m so sorry, Mum. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel so guilty that I’ve brought this to your doorstep. You deserve better.” I look down at my nail bitten hands. I used to have such lovely nails, but today, I’ve managed to destroy them.

“Jasmine, you’ve done nothing wrong. This isn’t your fault. I just wish you’d come with us. I’m so worried about you.” Her eyes are full of distress.

“You know I can’t, Mum. If I’m with you, I’m putting you all in danger. The police will get them, I’m sure of it. This will all be over soon.” I hug her tightly. “Please look after my boy,” I plead, my voice breaking. The tears are coming thick and fast now. I’ve never been away from Austen. In eight years I’ve always been there, I’m so frightened of never seeing him again. Dad hugs me tightly, kissing the top of my head.

“Stay safe, Jasmine. Promise me.” I look up into my strong daddy’s eyes as a tear rolls down his cheek.

“I promise, Dad. I’ll call you every day.” He lets me out of his embrace and I kneel down in front of Austen.

“Why is everyone crying, Mum?” He’s so innocent. I hope his innocence never leaves him. I don’t want him tainted by this ugly world that we live in.

“They’re just sad that I’m not coming with you, baby.”

“I wish you were coming, Mum.”

“I have to get the new flat ready for you when you come home.” His face lights up at the mention of the flat. I’d actually forgotten about it, I don’t know if we’re going to be able to move in now. I’ll have to call the estate agent and see where we stand.

“Okay, Mum. I’ll bring you back a present from my holiday.”

“Thanks, mate. I love you, you know that right?”

“Yeah, Mum, I know. I love you too.” Grabbing hold of him, I pull him into my chest. I can feel his little heart beating and it’s soothing. I know that I’m doing the right thing by letting him go. I just hope I get to see him again soon.

“Go on, get out of here. You’ve got a long drive ahead,” I say, standing up. They all pile in the car as I stand on the doorstep and wave while they drive off down the street.

“I’m going for a lie down.” I turn to Gavin, he gives me a small smile as I head towards the stairs.

“I’ll be here when you get up. I’m just going to do some work.” He pulls out his laptop and sits on the sofa. I don’t know how he can be so calm in all this.

I toss and turn but sleep evades me. I’m totally exhausted. Getting up I walk downstairs. Gavin’s still sat where I left him an hour ago.

“Hey, would you like something to eat?” My stomach growls at the mention of food. I haven’t eaten since…I can’t even remember the last time I ate.

“Yes, please.”

“Cool, I’ll nip to Subway and get us a sandwich each.” He grabs his keys from his jacket and heads to the door. I follow him out. “Hey, don’t worry. I won’t be long. I have my phone on me if you need me.” He must sense my reluctance to let him leave as he pulls me in for a hug and kisses the top of my head. I’m shocked at his embrace. He’s never been a compassionate person really. He gets in the car and pulls out of the drive. Hearing a motorbike fire up down the street, I step out of the door to look. I just see the back end of it drive off in the distance. It looks familiar, was it Max? I think my mind’s playing tricks on me. There must be thousands of motorbikes like his around here. Closing the door and locking it behind me, I sit on the sofa with my phone gripped in my hands, staring out of the window, waiting.

Max

The club is quiet tonight, thankfully. I really am not in the mood to be here. I want to go home and down a bottle of Jack, while watching re-runs of Orange County Choppers. However, I can’t even do that because Dex has his new toy at the flat for ‘dinner’. To be honest I don’t want to go home and sit and listen to them having sex. I want to see Jasmine. I want to talk to her, to find out why she’s avoiding me. Why she won’t answer my calls or texts? I want to know what I’ve done wrong and I want to know who the man at her house was. I should’ve just got off my bike and gone over to ask her, instead of freaking out and driving off. It could be innocent. He could be her brother. She never mentioned a brother to Ma, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Okay, so I’m making excuses up in my head now but I hate this feeling. It’s like I’ve been kicked in the balls repeatedly. My whole body aches for her and I feel sick.

A knock at the door breaks me from my thoughts. Piper sticks her head around timidly.

“Hey, Max, can I come in?” she asks, nervously.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I can’t be arsed dealing with her shit right now. If she’s fallen out with Alex again, I don’t really give a shit. I’m sick of catty girls. They can sort their own shit out.

“I wanted to ask…Um, I just wanted to know.”

“Spit it out, Pipe. I’ve not got time for this shit.” I hate myself for speaking to her like this but I can’t help it. I’ve always been like a big brother to my girls. I love them all, and would protect them to the ends of the earth. But right now I couldn’t care less about any of them. Actually, that’s a lie. I care about Jasmine. I care about her so much that it hurts.

“I want to know what’s going on between you and Jazz?”

“What do you mean?” My defence walls close around me.

“I know that something’s going on with you. I see the way you look at each other, I’m not stupid. I’ve known Jazz a long time and I know you. You’re in love with each other.” Shit! I want to be honest, I want to tell the world how I feel about her but I’m shit scared. I’ve never been the type to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but Jasmine’s turned me into a massive pussy!

“Yeah, okay. We’ve been seeing each other. But it’s over. I think.” I shrug it off like it’s no big deal, when in reality my heart is actually breaking. I like to think of myself as this big strong person, but I’m not. I’m weak, I’ve been weak since the moment my mum had her stroke. Since the moment my dad left. Since the moment I was born, I’ve been this weak person in a strong body.

“Why is it over?” She looks stunned.

“I don’t honestly know. We had a great time yesterday. I introduced her to Ma and then we went back to my place for a bit. But now she isn’t answering my calls or texts and she’s texting you to say she’s sick. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Do you think I’ve scared her off, maybe it was too soon to take her to see Ma?” I’m talking too fast, the words are flowing out and my voice sounds shaky and gravelly. I feel like I’m gonna throw up at any second. My eyes start to water.

“Max, calm down. I know Jazz. That wouldn’t have scared her off. She probably has a reasonable explanation. Maybe there was something wrong with Austen?” Yes, why didn’t I think of that? Maybe there’s an emergency that she hasn’t had time to tell me about. But why wouldn’t she tell me? I don’t know what to think anymore. “Go to her house and see her.”

“I went, Pipe. There was some dude leaving, he kissed her head. I don’t know who he is. Does she have a brother?” Please say yes.

“Nah, she doesn’t.” She shrugs. “He could be anyone, though. Just go and find out.” She’s right. I should man the fuck up and go and find out what’s happening. I’m driving myself crazy sitting here thinking up different scenarios in my head. “Do you love her?” Do I? I’ve never been in love before, but the way I feel about her is different to anything that I’ve ever felt before in my life. When I see her, my whole body comes alive, as well as my cock. I feel a sense of calm when she’s near me, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like I can take on the world as long as I know that she’s by my side. If this is love, then yes, I fucking love the shit out of her.

“I think I do,” I answer. She smiles a silly grin.

“Then go fucking get her.” She stands up, picking my helmet and jacket up off the sofa and handing them to me. Looking at my watch, its 8 p.m. Is it too late to go around there? Will her son be in bed? I don’t want to cause problems for her at home. Shit, I need to stop making excuses. Grabbing the jacket and helmet from Piper’s hands, I make my way out to my bike. “Don’t worry about this place, we can lock up,” Piper calls, as I climb onto the bike.

“Thanks, Pipe, I owe you one.” She shuts the door and before I can change my mind, I start her up and head out onto the road.

I’m petrified.

For only the second time in my life I’m paralysed with fear. I can see her house, her car is in the driveway, but so is the BMW. I’m distressed by what I might find out. I’m scared of who he is. I’m not scared of him as a person, because I could easily take the big lanky nob jockey out, I’m scared of who he is to Jasmine and what it may mean for our future. Taking a deep breath, I flick down the kick stand and climb off the bike. My legs are shaking, my whole body trembles. I don’t even care that I’m being a pussy right now, I love this woman and if she tells me that it’s over, my whole life will crumble.

Walking up the drive, I notice the curtain twitch. There’s movement and noises coming from inside the house - two voices. Hearing the latch turning on the door, and the sound of keys, my heart beats faster than ever before and sweat pours from my body. Then my world shatters when
HE
opens the door.

“Hi, can I help you?” he asks in his smooth cockney accent. Who is this mufftrumpet?

“I need to speak to Jasmine.
”
I’m not polite, I don’t know who this fella is but if I have to remove him to get to her then so be it.

“Jasmine’s busy at the moment, I’ll tell her you stopped by…What’s your name?” Smarmy cunt, I want to smash his face in.

“Look, whoever you are. Jazz is
my
girlfriend and I want to speak to her, so get out of my fuckin’ way.
”
I try to barge him out of the door, but he stands firm. “Look, fucker, I’ve been nice so far, but if you don’t fucking move I’ll remove you myself.”

“Max, stop,” her soft, shaky voice appears behind him. My heart skips a beat at the sound. She sounds in pain, scared, and I don’t like it.

“Jasmine, please talk to me. Let me in.”
“Go away, Max. I don’t want to see you.” she sounds like she’s about to cry and it breaks my heart. I don’t want her to be in pain, I don’t want her to be sad. I want to make her happy, if only she’d give me a chance, I’d make her the happiest person on the planet. I’d give her everything; I’d give her the world.

“I’m not goin' anywhere, Jazz. Please, tell me what I’ve done wrong so I can fix it. Did I go too fast? Please, Jasmine.” The tall bloke stands tall, glaring at me from the doorway. I want to punch his lights out.

“Max, you did nothing wrong. It’s me, not you.” Uh, the dreaded ‘it’s me, not you’ line. I’m not accepting this crap.

“No, Jasmine, you’re not walking away from me like this. After everything we’ve fought for. You’re not gonna just throw it all away. I want to know why?”

“I…I can’t.” I can hear the cries in her voice. I need to see her face. Shoving my way past this twat in front of me, I push him as hard as I can almost making him fall backwards. The room’s dark, only a small lamp lights it. There are duvet covers spread across the sofa and two glasses of wine on the table. Very cosy.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” I can feel my anger bubbling. Is she actually fucking this arsehole?

“It’s not what you think.”

“Well, it looks pretty obvious from where I’m standing.” The sound of the door closing makes me turn. He looks at me with a smirk on his face and I so want to wipe that grin right off it.

“Max, this is Gavin, my ex-husband,” she says, her voice small. Looking him up and down, I don’t know what she sees in him. He definitely loves himself. I bet he looks in every mirror and shop window he walks past. His hair is gelled within an inch of it’s life and he smells like a whore’s handbag. “We’re not together, Max. He’s here to help me with something.” Looking her in the eyes, she looks a mess. She looks exhausted, like she hasn’t slept all night. Her hair is all over the place and she has small blotches on her face from where she’s been crying. What’s going on?              

“Jazz, talk to me,” I plead. Gavin walks past us, giving her a nod as he goes. As soon as he’s out of the room she moves to sit down on the sofa, I follow like a lovesick puppy, wagging my tail behind me. She picks up her glass from the table and gulps it down in one mouthful. I notice that her hands are shaking. What has happened in the last twenty-four hours to change everything so dramatically?

“I told you yesterday that something happened in London to make me move here.” I turn my body, cocking my leg up underneath me so that I’m looking at her. I try to take hold of her hand but she pulls away.

“What happened?” She looks up at me, her lifeless, emerald eyes wide.

“I saw something I shouldn’t have, and now they’re coming,” she sobs, “coming after…me.” I don’t let her pull away this time, instead I take hold of her arms and I pull her into me, running my hands through her hair as she cries. I don’t understand all this, but I wait, giving her time to recover before questioning her again.

            
 
“What did you see?” I pull her back at arms length, searching her eyes.              

“I saw…I saw a murder.” I’m shocked. This wasn’t what I was expecting to hear when I came here. I didn’t actually know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. I let go of her as she drops her hands in her lap, her head bowed down. I need time to process this information. Standing, I pace the room, not sure where to put myself. I’ve never known a situation like this. I don’t know what to do, or how to react. Shit! What do I do?