Read Lust and Lies (The Jamie Reynolds Chronicles #1) Online
Authors: Casandra Charles
“Man, we all can’t be like you with two homes,” he said.
“There you go again. Anyway, how is your mom?”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You know I’m waiting for that special someone to move out of this apartment and invest in a home.”
There was an awkward pause; then David continued, “Mom is good, she’s always asking about you and I had to tell her you moved to New Jersey and she may not see you around anymore.”
“Now I feel bad, I’ll be in town a few times a year, so maybe I can pop over to say hi to your mom next time. Anyway, how is the search going for this new lady?” I quickly said in a joking way.
“Man, you know the streets are rough and I can’t find any SBF (single black females) anyway.”
“That sucks. I can be your wing woman tonight and help you find someone.”
“Thanks, nig, you always got my back.”
“That’s what friends are for. Anyway, let me go and charge my cell. I’ll see you in a few.”
“Alright, holla,” David said.
I love it when he says New York slang in his cute Southern accent
, I thought to myself. Within fifteen minutes I made it to his apartment, luckily managing not to hit any traffic. I notice David’s Acura was parked outside, so I guess he beat me to his home. I slowly walked up the stairs, but everyone could hear me coming as my wedges hit the wooden stairs. Before I could even make it to the top, David opened the door.
“Whad up?” David said in a very excited voice as he hugged me.
“Hey, man,” I replied as I hugged him back.
“Man, it’s been a minute and you still look the same.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
“Man, you know what I mean, you look good. Come in, come in,” he said as I entered his familiar apartment.
Not much had changed, as the apartment looked exactly the same, including the open laptop on the dining room table.
“We still have like thirty minutes before our reservation. I didn’t know if you would be stuck in traffic coming from Buckhead.”
“Well, Angela moved and now lives off Northside Drive.”
“Northside and what?” David asked in a sarcastic tone.
“I know, I know. She’s like a few blocks from the Georgia Dome, in those new apartments.”
“How she liking it?”
“Well, Angela is like me, so she works all the time and only goes home to sleep, take a shower and change,” I joked.
“Funny, when you said she was like you, I thought you meant moving to a new place and breaking the hearts of dudes who like her,” David said, but this time in a serious tone.
I quickly changed the subject and asked, “How’s life? How’s the kid?”
“Man, he is good, can’t complain. Same ole craziness with his mom, but man, it’s all good. I’m good, man, I’m good.”
That was good to hear, but I knew it could get really bad between them, and I always felt bad because she would use their son as a paycheck, and David was a good guy and tried his best to do right by both of them. He attended all of his basketball games, bought him all kinds of stuff, and his mother would send him to his dad’s house with no clothes so David was forced to buy his own son new clothes for the time he was staying with him. Until finally he started buying new clothes and leaving them at his apartment. It just didn’t make sense, and I was out of that craziness, but I always felt bad because Donte was a smart kid and knew what was up.
“Glad to hear everything is going well,” I tried to say, not trying to make him feel bad.
“Anyway, how is New York, no, excuse me, New Joe-sey,” he said, trying to have an up-north accent.
I gave him the “never do that again” look and we both just started laughing.
“Man, everything is good. Can’t complain. Same ole stuff, but it’s all good.” I gave David the same response he gave me, and I could tell he knew what it meant.
“You want to talk about it?” he asked.
I played dumb. “Talk about what?” I tried to sound confused.
He gave me the “come on” look. It was scary, David and I were so much alike and we could read each other like a book.
“Anyway, you know I’m here for you if you ever want to talk,” he said as he got up from the couch and went back in his room.
“Thanks… you good,” I yelled to him since he just left me in the living room.
He came out like twenty seconds later. “Sorry, I’m good, I just wanted to grab my watch before I forget so we can get ready to go.”
“I totally forgot about dinner.”
“You forgetting about food? Ha.”
“I’m done with you. Look, I be telling people don’t mess with a skinny girl who is hungry. It’s dangerous.”
Like a gentleman, David held my hand as we walked down his apartment stairs and, of course, opened the passenger door for me before opening his own door.
“You ready?” he asked.
I felt like a little kid going on a joyride in a car and said, “Yup.”
It took us about fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant and David and I did some more catching up and talked the whole way there. As soon as we pulled up to the restaurant, it was about 6:50 p.m. and I really was starting to get hungry; however, my phone started buzzing as David opened the passenger door to let me out. I knew exactly who it was and I sadly allowed it to go to voicemail. David could read me like a book and asked, “Are you going to get that?”
I said, “I’m good,” as we walked into the restaurant.
“Does…” David paused for a second and asked, “What’s his name again?”
“Who?” I said, trying to play dumb.
“Your man, what’s his name again?”
“Toni, why?”
“Does Toni know you’re here with me?”
“I told Toni I had plans to visit a few friends while I was in town, and this is what I’m doing,” I said, trying to convince myself I was not in the wrong for being with David.
“Oh, okay,” David said, maybe also trying to convince himself he wasn’t wrong either.
Dinner was going great. We laughed and caught up for about thirty minutes over light apps and a few glasses of wine. I felt like an adult drinking wine and talking instead of watching Toni drink beer and watch football.
“I know you don’t drink and drive like that, and Donte is staying the night at my mom’s if you need to crash for the night.”
I stopped him and said, “I’m good, thanks for the offer.” At this point it hit me and I felt so bad for where I was at and what I was doing even though I didn’t actually do anything wrong. I then excused myself to the ladies’ room.
When I reached the bathroom, I called Toni. “Hey, you, what are you doing?”
“Oh, nothing, just thinking about my favorite girl while I lie on this couch, watching some football highlights on ESPN. What you doing?”
“I’m out at dinner and will try to hit you up before you fall asleep.”
“Oh, okay, tell Angela I said what’s up.”
“Oh, okay, I will,” I said, knowing he thought I was at dinner with Angela. I quickly had to get off the phone, since I was a bad liar if you caught me on the spot. “Okay, babe, I have to run. Love you and talk to you later.”
“Ditto.” Again this word, it was crazy how neither one of us said this word in months, but all of a sudden we said this word twice in one day.
I made my way back to David, and at this point he already had my leftovers boxed up and he’d picked up the check.
“I figured we should leave,” he said, throwing me off.
“Oh, okay, is everything okay?” I asked, as his whole demeanor had changed.
“Man, I’m good, just don’t want to keep you up too late. You said you have to work in the morning, right?”
“I have breakfast with Angela; then I have to be at work at noon. It’s a concert, so even though it’s going to be a long day tomorrow, it doesn’t start that early. I’m guessing we’re not going to Leopard Lounge?”
“When do you leave again?”
“I leave Monday afternoon. I figure I can hang out with some friends over the weekend and then go check on my rentals on Monday while most people are at work.”
“We can still go to Leopard Lounge, but we spent so much time in Houston, I figured you wanted to live.” I didn’t know why he said this, but I guess he knew what I did in the bathroom since I was gone for about five minutes.
“Oh, okay, it’s cool to call it a night, then.” The ride home was pretty quiet, and I knew something was up, so I asked, “Man, what’s up? You good? You’ve been acting different the last twenty minutes or so.”
“I’m guessing you called Toni while you was in the bathroom?” he finally came out and said.
“I did and?” I said, trying to understand what was up.
“I’m not mad you called him. It just hit me that you’re no longer in the A, and I realized I still actually have feelings for you. Man, I thought I could enjoy an evening to just catch up and then that’s it, but I felt like when I watched you walk into the restroom I watched you walk back out of my life again because I figured you would call him,” he said, sounding remorseful.
“Look, David, I’m not trying to make this uncomfortable. I enjoy hanging out with you, but to be a hundred percent honest, we’ve been down this path before and we always end up saying we’re better off as friends. I wish things could be different between—”
David interrupted, “I know it’s not.”
“Look, I’m not trying to be mean or nothing, but my life is different now.”
David’s response was anger and he said, “Different is right. Look, J, I’ve known you for over two years and I know we go back and forth, but real talk, you don’t even seem happy. You look great, don’t get me wrong, but you just don’t seem a hundred percent happy. I’m not saying it’s Toni, but it’s something. Maybe it’s the move, maybe it’s… hell, I don’t know, but it’s something.”
I was speechless because he was right, and to be honest, I didn’t know what that something was either.
David and I sat in his car at his apartment and talked for about an hour. Neither one of us even minded we were in the car still.
“Look, David, I can’t say I’m a hundred percent happy with a lot of things. My move to New York was planned yet unexpected. I spent my whole savings flying back and forth to New York to visit my dad in the hospital. It was one of the scariest moments in my life. My dad never said a word, he never asked me to move back, neither did my mother. I just remember me riding in the ambulance to transport my dad on Valentine’s Day, of all days, from the hospital to a hospice to die. The doctor said they couldn’t do much for him and we began making funeral arrangements. I remember flying back to Atlanta and taking a good look at my life, and realized I wanted to be with my family in this time of need, and my lifestyle in Atlanta needed a change. I figured there was no better time than now to move back to New York. At the time I made the decision to move, nothing was holding me back. However, after I managed to move my whole life to New York, my father just walked out of the hospice. It was the craziest thing. The doctors called it a miracle and my father said something I would never forget.”
“What did he say?” David asked.
“He said he wasn’t ready to die because he had more life to live, he said he needed to be there to walk his girls down the aisle and play with his grandkids. That statement hit me so hard because I was so busy being this independent woman that I never planned marriage and kids into my life. You know this, but when my dad said it, I was like I needed to make some moves and I thought my move to New York was my new chance at finding a different path for myself. Maybe Atlanta just wasn’t the right path for me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time in Atlanta and the people I met, but…” I paused.
“But what?” David asked.
“But right now I just don’t know what path I should be on. My whole life I planned everything and prayed for guidance, but now I’m feeling a little lost and unbalanced. I don’t know if this is making any sense,” I said, hoping David would say something to help me find my path.
“I understand, and I think this is what life is. Man, life ain’t easy and sometimes one has to get lost in order to find their way back. You got this, and hopefully in due time it will all make sense. Just know no matter what happens, I’m here for you and will always be a friend you can talk to.”
I just leaned over and gave David a big hug and whispered in his ear, “Thanks, thanks for listening.”
He whispered, “Anytime, I got you,” as he began squeezing me longer and harder. I felt even more confused as I tried to hold back my tears. On one hand I loved Toni, but our relationship wasn’t perfect, but on the other hand, David was amazing, but we’d been here before more than once and it didn’t work.
Wait, You Did What…
Ever since I got back from Atlanta, Toni was acting pretty funny. While I was in Atlanta, he kept saying everything was going to be okay and he was excited about this next chapter in his life. I was so confused, I just thought us spending time apart gave us both the opportunity to clear our heads and maybe he had a solid plan.
Toni had been working his new job for over a month and talked so bad about it daily. At first he said he would start looking for work, but then it seemed as if he stopped looking and all he did was complain. He kept saying he was exploring his options, but I never understood what that meant since he hadn’t been looking for new work. I even spoke to a few associates to see if they could help him find a new career path, but he was too stubborn to accept the assistance. I didn’t have the heart to actually tell him he didn’t really qualify for any real work since he had no degree and no job skills.
My project was over and I’d been looking for a tax job for the past week or so. I’d met with Macy’s already and had my second interview tomorrow, so I thought I would just end up working there through winter. I was trying to plan a quick getaway to Mexico, but then I found out Toni didn’t have a passport. I was so shocked to hear this; I’d had a passport since I was six years old. So I gave up on that trip and decided on saving what little money I had in my savings. I hated the fact I didn’t have much savings and Toni knew this bothered me a great deal. I was not okay with living paycheck to paycheck, and I worked too hard to live with limitations, and my dad’s words were still ringing in my ears.