“I'll see you after story hour tomorrow,” he decided. “We won't be using the Syrene name in this production, if that's what's bothering you. I left pizzas in the kitchen.”
Without knowing where he was headed, Oz walked out.
Chapter 27
“I really dislike disrupting your life⦠Pippa,” Gloria said diffidently, staring at the pizza she'd placed on her plate but hadn't eaten.
“Disrupting? You're giving my life back to me!” Oz had disrupted it, Pippa thought as she bit into his peace offering. She ought to be feeling guilty that he'd come here to make amends and she'd effectively thrown him out, but Oz needed to back off. If she had to adjust her entire way of life, she needed her space to figure out how.
He was relying on Conan's message to reach the Librarian, not her stage name. He was hoping her song alone could lure Donal. That was a concession so huge, she wasn't certain how to take it. Relief and fear and indecision roiled into one big mass of confusion. And that was before she gave thought to sex with a man who wasn't afraid of her.
Gloria's smile was tentative. “I'd like to hope that I can be useful, dear, but I've learned to live from one moment to the next. That doesn't leave much room for dreaming.”
“I'm rich,” Pippa said carelessly. “Stinking, filthy rich. I'm supposed to be able to do anything I like. I haven't tried irresponsibility since I was a kid, but if wanting to get to know my mother is irresponsible, I'll live with it. Maybe we can have Conan set you up with a new identity so you can feel safe. We can do anything we like. It's a good feeling.” She didn't have good feelings often, so when they happened, they were quite clear. Having her mother in her home made the world right, provided a balance she'd been missing. The connection between them was amazingly strong.
“And have you been feeling good about what you're doing?” Gloria asked, tasting a small bite of the pizza.
Pippa thought about that. “I don't feel bad about it,” she concluded. “I felt really rotten about my life before I threw away Syrene and learned to be me.”
“But are you really being you?” Gloria inquired, apparently forming her words with care. “I don't want to be a pushy mama before you've even come to accept I'm real, but I can't help wanting my only baby to be happy.”
Tears leaped to Pippa's eyes. “Even if there's some crazy mistake, you can still be my mama. I don't think anyone has ever cared if I'm happy or not.”
“I think Oz does, dear. He's as worried about you as he is about his son, but I think he's trying to give you⦠space?”
Her mother was a mind reader. Great. Pippa angrily chewed her pizza, trying not to make hasty judgments, but she was still furious with him for not consulting with her first about where and when and how she would perform. “Oz has to try to give me space because his natural state is hovering bully. I had those types running my life for years. No more.”
Gloria adjusted her injured hip to a better position, and Pippa resolved to find more comfortable chairs. She might have to consider buying a house closer to the road. She couldn't expect her mother to regularly walk that uneven path.
The thought of giving up her sanctuary didn't set well. She glared at her hapless pizza and picked off a mushroom to pop in her mouth.
“A child is easily bullied. I doubt that Oz or anyone can bully you now,” Gloria said with a degree of confidence. “I watched the two of you argue earlier, but it wasn't one attempting to coerce the other. It was more an exchange of ideas and opinions. When necessary, you instantly united to fight a common foe. It was fun to watch.”
Pippa smiled, remembering flinging Conan into the pool. That had felt good, even if she'd been so furious, she could have let him drown. Speaking without monitoring her Voice had felt good too.
Singing would feel even better. Except she couldn't unleash Syrene in public.
She was treading dangerous waters now. “Have you listened to all my music?” she asked with wary curiosity.
Gloria sipped her iced tea. “Nine years ago, when you disappeared from public view, I was barely aware of the world outside my room. I missed watching you grow up as a child star. I've bought your CDs since then and listened to your anguish in the unpublished songs the Librarian smuggled to me. You harbor a lot of anger, although I suppose you don't need a meddling old woman to tell you that.”
Pippa leaped up and hugged her mother in the first spontaneous gesture she'd offered in so long, she wasn't entirely certain she remembered how. “You will have to learn to be who you are meant to be too! You're not a meddling old woman. You're a wise, wise woman, and I desperately need you around.”
Humor tinted Gloria's reply as she awkwardly hugged Pippa back without trying to stand. “You only need me around until you decide whether to accept Oz or drown him. If you choose drowning, you might need me a little longer.”
“I can't accept⦔ But she could. Her Voice didn't affect Oz, so anything she said, he was taking at face value, not under some hypnotic influence. It was a liberating experience, knowing he was responsible for his own actions, not her.
Yes, he was an insufferable bully, but if her mother was right, if she was strong enough to fight back⦠why should she throw away the one man who could actually hear her?
Because she couldn't give him what he wanted. Not now. Not ever. Even if they got past the TV show, she couldn't live in L.A. Couldn't entertain his guests. And would avoid the paparazzi-filled world that he thrived in.
She sat down again and met her mother's eyes across the table. “If you heard my pain, did you listen to my songs without whatever shield you erect when I speak?”
“I tried, but sometimes it simply hurt too much,” Gloria admitted. “I cried for a week after hearing the seal song, but that could be because I remembered telling you the story. Some of the later songs the Librarian sent were so raw, even a shield couldn't prevent your pain from seeping through.”
“But the pain didn't cause you to act oddly?”
Gloria shook her head. “They made me cry or smile, like any good music does. I was desperate to find you, but the Librarian didn't know where you were.”
“She wasn't trying very hard.” Pippa thought about that as she finished her pizza. “I used Philippa James Henderson on all my IDs after I left the music business. I dropped Robbie's name before I signed the book contracts, but I was always known by my adopted parents' name of James. Oz found me.”
“Perhaps⦔ Gloria wrinkled her forehead, trying to work it out. “The website simply tracks the name Malcolm, and you quit using it.”
“Possibly, although I still don't understand that site. You said you used your Voice to help my father? Did you fight evildoers like in the comic books?” Pippa asked with a smile, because the whole idea was too much like one of her children's stories.
“Nana did her best to develop my skills, but at most, I have a slight siren talent and some empathic abilities.” Gloria didn't appear particularly bothered by the lack. “I warned Jordie when I overheard the drug dealers closing in on him. I used my Voice to distract them so we got away. But I was mostly a threat because I knew too much and because they saw me as dangerous. I doubt that they feared I'd pass Nana's lessons on to you, but that's what hurt you most. Without my training, you were lost and scared when you could have helped so many.”
Pippa scowled. “You think I can use my gift for good if I'm trained?”
“There's no reason you shouldn't be able to direct your talent once you learn how. Right now, you're like a person with linguistic gifts who grew up in a world with only one language.”
“You don't really believe anyone is deliberately seeking us out, do you?” Pippa tried not to sound alarmed. “Because if by some freak chance we found Donal⦔
“If he has any extra abilities we could teach him to use, he might be in danger all over again,” Gloria agreed sadly. “I have no idea.”
“Damn, I need to talk to Oz.” Dumping her plate in the dishwasher, Pippa went in search of her phone.
***
Bakersfield
the Librarian's text read. Oz glared at the screen.
Was this her response to the message Conan had implanted in the server? If so, it told Oz so much that he had to collapse on his couch to absorb all the parameters. Bakersfield, where Pippa had been found. Bakersfield, where the Librarian wanted him to have Pippa sing the seal song?
Where
Donal
might
be
held?
He wanted to race across the mountains and tear the town apart, but unlike Santa Domenica, Bakersfield was a sprawling city with nearly a third of a million people in it.
If he ever found Donal, he was implanting a GPS signal in the kid. Oz dropped his head in his hands and tried to focus.
After leaving Pippa, he had returned to L.A. to refresh his wardrobe. The stark white walls of his condo pressed in on him now. Even opening Donal's nursery and wrenching open every hole in his heart couldn't firm his resolve. Focusing was out of the question when every nerve was set on full alert. He needed action, but it needed to be the
right
action.
If he persuaded Pippa to sing in Bakersfield, was he drawing her into a trap?
Thinking like that was unproductive. Pippa was stronger than a five-year-old boy. He could surround Pippa with bodyguards.
First, he had to persuade her to appear on a stage. She'd grown up in Bakersfield. People there were more likely to recognize her than anywhere else. He didn't like that any better than she would.
His phone rang just as he was wondering if he dared call her. To his amazement, caller ID brought up Pippa's number.
“Is everything okay?” he asked in alarm.
She didn't seem startled by his abrupt response. Hers was equally blunt. “If there really are madmen after Malcolms, we're all in danger if we put a show together where they can find us. You don't want Donal anywhere near me. Or maybe even you. That could be why Alys took him and ran.”
“Putting us all in one place may be what someone is after,” Oz reluctantly admitted. “I just had a message from the Librarian. I think she wants us to do a show in Bakersfield.”
Oz imagined he could hear the curses in her silence.
“I want to take the kidnapper down,” she finally replied.
“After we get Donal out,” he warned.
“How? How are we supposed to lure Donal from his kidnappers by going to Bakersfield and singing a stupid song if we don't use my stage name?”
“I don't know, but I'll do everything in my power to make it happen if you're on board. I'll start talking to my PR people as soon as you give the word. I want the whole damned town to know the famous children's author Philippa James is filming a TV show about seals.”
“Then I can wear a disguise and read a book while the song is played in the background?”
Oz rumpled his hair in indecision. “I just don't know. She sent me after Syrene. Or maybe⦠She wrote Syren, with a
y
and no final
e
. I'm hoping all that matters is that it's you. Will your adopted parents recognize you? Maybe the Librarian knows them? It's all coming together too fast. My God⦠Bakersfield?”
“Hell on earth,” Pippa concluded. “My adopted parents moved to Seattle after I split the music scene. They're not a problem. But I went to school there.”
Oz waited, heart in throat.
“If the Librarian doesn't know I'm Philippa James, I don't see how this will work,” she finally said with a weary sigh. “Maybe you ought to start hunting Malcolms while you're at it, bring the whole clan to town, see if any of them are psychic. I'll see you tomorrow.”
She hung up. But Oz smiled. He wanted this woman with her intelligence and courage. He wanted her enough to chase her to the ends of the earth. He didn't think that had ever happened to him. He was a persistent bastard and had worn Alys down, but this was different. He wanted Pippa to want him, too.
That might take a miracle, he acknowledged. He had nothing whatsoever to offer her except grief.
***
Monday morning, Pippa didn't know whether to fall down laughing or go looking for a baseball bat when she walked down her garden path and discovered a house-size RV parked in the day care's lotâwith Oz sitting at an outdoor camp table, sipping coffee.
He waved at her and continued reading his newspaper.
The man was downright uncanny. She wanted to jump his bones right then and there.
He
understood.
She could walk past him without a word, and he wouldn't be offended. What would he do if she�
Rather than wonder, she walked over, took down his paper, leaned over, and planted a big one on him.
He was right there in an instant, cupping her head and applying his tongue full throttle. He tasted of coffee and smelled of shaving cream, and he nearly melted her knees with the strength of his desire.
She pulled back before he got any ideas of dragging her into that sardine can before she was ready.
“Practical solutions,” he said smugly, sitting back and admiring the green stripes she'd applied to her hair to match her green sundress and blue face paint. “The crew will be assembling shortly. Will your mother mind if we work around your pool?”
“Unlike me, I think she'll enjoy the company. She's been alone for too long. I forgot to thank you for finding her for me.” Pippa wiped a smear of her lipstick off his mouth. Her heart pattered too fast to be sensible. She liked that he'd found a compromise that worked for both of them. He was
good
. She wasn't certain what to call the humming vibrations he set off inside her, but they balanced her world in ways she could love.
Oz captured her hand and licked her finger before she could retrieve it. Sheer lust shot through her so quickly, she actually contemplated the damned RV. She yanked her finger back. “Slow down, Oswin. Gratitude does not mean I want to get dressed a second time this morning.”