Luck of the Draw (13 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Breck was bored. And restless. He hadn’t stayed in one place for this long in quite some time. While he was enjoying his vacation, he itched to be moving, too.

Add whatever was going on between him and Rowan and it wasn’t a good combination. Definitely not one he was used to. Rowan hadn’t left her room and he’d showered, changed, cleaned up the water and now paced around the house, fretting. Yes,
fretting
. What was wrong with him?

Annoyed at himself, he picked up his cell and dialed Jace. His friend picked up after the third ring. “You busy?” he asked.

“No. Why do I think this could both be a good and a bad thing?”

Breck laughed at how well Jace knew him. Even though they hadn’t seen much of each other over the years, they’d shared college and then law school together and he figured those were some of the most important years a guy had.

“Maybe because we always get into trouble when we go out and I really need out of the house,” Breck told him.

Jace didn’t hesitate, making Breck wonder how much the other man might need the same thing. “Sounds good. I’ll pick you up in thirty.” With that, Jace hung up the phone.

It was agreed upon without words that they weren’t going to Lucky’s. He didn’t know why, but he needed a little distance from everything that reminded him of Rowan, and Jace seemed to need the same thing: space.

They went to a little hole-in-the-wall bar about thirty minutes away. The place wasn’t nearly as well-kept as Lucky’s, but the men didn’t really need that tonight. What Breck needed was a drink and a way to forget…well, he wasn’t exactly sure what.

They found a little booth in the back. It was a country bar, people in hats and women in a lot of blue jean skirts peppering the room.

“You been here before?” Breck asked when they sat.

“No, but it’ll do.”

He nodded. The waitress came over, also wearing a jean skirt, and asked what they wanted. “Shot?” Breck asked.

“Shot,” Jace confirmed.

He ordered them each two shots of tequila. When the drinks came they clanked their glasses together, licked the salt off their hands, downed one, and then each bit into their limes. “Whew. That was harsh.” Breck felt like he was breathing fire.

“You can say that again,” Jace added.

Without another word, they each took their second shot. It burned its way down to the pit of his stomach. Breck leaned back against the booth, letting himself enjoy the feeling of being transported away, or at least being too foggy to really think about much. Leave it to Jace to ruin it.

“You care about her, don’t you?” Jace asked.

Hell. He figured he’d get a little more of a reprieve than that. “I do.”

“Is it enough?”

Jace was almost as good at reading people as he was. It was one of the things that made him such a cutthroat lawyer. It would have made Breck a good one too, but he’d never really been sure if that was what he wanted. It was something he started for Bailey.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not even sure what it is or could be. Hell…part of me wants to find out, but the other isn’t sure I can go there.” Sex he could do. Fun he could do, but it would be more than that with her. Even the first time it had been. And more called for trust. Not just the on-the-surface stuff, but real trust that he wasn’t sure he had inside him for women anymore.

It was a limb Breck didn’t know if he could walk out on. It had broken him to lose Bailey. To come home when his mom had just been killed in a car accident to find out that Bailey had betrayed him. That she was with another man. The kind of man her parents wanted for her instead of Breck.

He could handle a lot of things, but betrayal wasn’t one of them.

“Rowan’s a good woman, that’s for damn sure,” Jace told him. “If I were ever to settle down, it would be with someone like her. Or…” Jace let that sentence hang in the air. “But I won’t and don’t want to, so it doesn’t matter. This is about you.”

“I’m fine with dealing with your problems. Spit them out.”

“Good try.” Jace turned and signaled the waitress over again, ordering them each another shot.

They took them the second they arrived. Something was bugging Jace too, but Breck figured it would be hard to get it out of him. Hell, Breck had known Jace for years, but really didn’t know a lot about him. Not regarding his past.

“I don’t want you to hurt her.” Jace’s glass hit the table.

“I won’t.” Jesus this made him sound soft, but he wanted to ask, what about himself? What if he got hurt?

“She’s going to want forever, or at least the prospect of it. If that’s not what you think you can handle, don’t try it.”

Hell, Breck wasn’t even sure forever was possible. Not with him. “I’m not doing anything until I know what I want. I’m not an idiot.” He snapped, not really meaning to. This wasn’t the mental escape he’d hoped to get—though probably knew all along he wouldn’t have.

“She’s something,” he found himself saying. “Such a firecracker. The woman shocks me or puts me in my place at least once a day. She’s comfortable in old jeans, baiting a hook, but damn she looks beautiful dressed up or in the kitchen baking something.”

Jace laughed. “Don’t let her hear you say that. It sounded awfully sexist.”

He flipped his friend off, feeling pretty buzzed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m pretty sure I just heard barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.”

Breck ignored that. He didn’t feel like laughing tonight. He really didn’t know what he wanted and didn’t like being in that situation at all. The truth was, the thought of leaving the little bed and breakfast left a bad taste in his mouth. He liked fishing out there on the lake with her and having Shakes over for meals. It was
normal.
The kind of life his mom had always wanted and what he’d thought he would have with Bailey.

But instead he stayed in hotels more often than not and traveled. Which, on the one hand, he did love, but he also grew weary of it sometimes.

The thought of uprooting his life again, though—changing who he was for a woman only to have her stab him in the back—made every muscle in his body tense. No, he wasn’t sure if he could go there again, even if he wanted to.

Which he still didn’t know if he did.
Could I settle down?

“Christ, I’ve never seen you like this, man,” Jace said to him.

He’d never felt like this. “Has it ever seemed like you’re going and going and never getting anywhere?” he asked. “I mean, I have everything I want and I love it, I do, but…even before Rowan it felt like something was missing. I don’t feel like that anymore.”

He wished he had another shot. Knew they both probably drank as many as they did to loosen themselves up in order to even talk like this in the first place. He didn’t really do emotions. Especially not with another man, friend or not.

“My grandfather is dying.” Jace moved his elbows to the table, head in his hands. He’d never seen his friend look so torn up. “I’ve known that, everyone knows it, but it won’t be long now. We were never close, even though he raised me, but I just can’t get over the fact that he’s dying and then it will just be me. He’s the only family I have.”

Breck didn’t know what to say to that. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.” He felt like a jerk, sitting there whining about his love life when Jace was dealing with this.

“Betsy says I should talk to him before he goes. We talk, but not about when I was growing up. I…I don’t know if I can.”

“I think she’s right,” Breck said, glad Jace had her as a friend. It sounded like he opened up to her in a way he didn’t with many others.

“Hell. Look at us. Crying in our drinks like a couple of saps.” Jace straightened up.

“No, shit.” Breck held his fingers to the waitress, signaling that they wanted two more shots. “Come on, man. I haven’t gone drinking with you since school. Let’s have some fun.”

Breck sat on the opposite side of the backseat as Jace. They’d decided it was safer to take the cab and Jace would get a ride back to his car in the morning.

Breck’s head already ached, letting him know he’d feel a million times worse tomorrow. Tequila was not his friend. And a cab ride this far wasn’t cheap, either.

The driver stopped in front of the bed and breakfast first. Breck pulled out his wallet, but Jace signaled him to put it away. “I got this. You cover us next time.”

Breck nodded and thanked him, then reached for the handle. He set one foot on the ground outside when Jace stopped him.

“You already know what you want, man. All you have to do is make yourself go for it. I’ve known Row a long time and she’s different with you. Don’t be a wimp. It’d be nice to have ya around indefinitely.”

Breck chuckled. Jace was right. Now he just had to make himself do something about it. She was worth the risk.

“Are you always this emotional when you’re drunk?” he teased his friend.

“Just don’t remind me about it tomorrow.”

Breck pushed out of the car. “Thanks, man.” And then he slammed the door and went home.

…

Rowan gripped the counter, feeling dizzy. Her head was foggy, her nose was stuffed, and she ached all over, but she still washed her hands before setting out the ingredients she’d need to cook dinner later tonight. Her phone had woken her up this morning with unexpected guests. She wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day, but she couldn’t tell the couple no. She also still had Breck here to think about.

Breck.

The man she hadn’t known until recently, but the one she was starting to fall for. The father of her unborn child.

The one she compulsively lied to.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now wasn’t the time to let her heart lead her. She needed to think with her head. Even though Breck tried to kiss her, he also made it very clear he wanted no strings. No ties. Freedom.

He also laughs with me, talks to me, helps me when I freak out over boxes full of memories.

Rowan shook her head, which only made another wave of dizziness hit her. She was sick. Miserably sick.

She washed her hands again before opening the bag of flour. She heard the kitchen door open behind her, but didn’t have the energy to turn around. Or maybe the courage. Because just knowing Breck was in the room with her suddenly made her heart race.

“Hey, Houdini.” His voice was thick, but not with lust. It sounded as though he were sick too.

“Oh no! Are you sick?” She turned to try and help him. It had to have been both of them getting so wet yesterday. Her breath caught when she saw him in jeans, no shirt, the top button on his pants undone. His dark hair was a mess, tousled this way and that. He definitely needed to shave, but she always liked that. His eyes were puffy, but it didn’t take away from his beauty.

Breck Wilder was gorgeous. Yes, she’d always known that, but it never hit her so hard until this second.

“Hey… What’s wrong?” His forehead got that confused wrinkle it so often did. That’s not what got to her though. What she couldn’t stop wondering was how he knew. He saw her for all of five seconds yet he knew something was wrong.

Maybe that just meant she looked like crap.

“I feel terrible. Looks like you do, too.” Her voice sounded scratchy even to her own ears.

Breck seemed to perk up. “I’m fine. You need to sit down though. What’s wrong? Do you need to go to the doctor?”

He reached for her, but Rowan tried to shake him off. “I’m okay. It’s just a bad cold. We—
I
have guests coming. I need to make sure there’s dinner and then freshen up the room. I was thinking of the one to the right of yours. What do you think?” She didn’t know why she asked him that. He probably couldn’t care less.

“Great choice on the room, but that’s not what’s important right now.”

Rowan flinched when Breck’s lips came down against her forehead. Instinct made her try to pull away, but he spoke against her. “Stay still. I’m not trying to get fresh with you, Houdini. I want to see if you feel hot.”

Disappointment she had no excuse for feeling shot through her.

“You’re burning up, sweetheart. You need to be in bed.”

Another brick cracked in the wall she tried to keep between them. “I’ll be okay.”

“And so will your guests. You need to rest.”

Part of her wanted to argue. Wanted to tell him she could do it on her own, because she
could
. She knew that. It wasn’t the fact of needing someone…it was
wanting
someone. Someone there for her. She knew Sidney would do the same. Kade, Jace, Betsy, but it was different with Breck and damned if it didn’t feel good. “What about the guests? This is my job. I need to get used to it.”

Breck hadn’t pulled far away from her. He still stood so close she could feel him. Smell him. And it actually helped.

“I know it might come as a shock, but there are times having me around actually comes in handy. I mean, besides the fact that I’m gorgeous and an all-around good catch.”

Rowan laughed, which made pain shoot through her head. “Oh God. That hurt. Don’t make me laugh.”

“That’s it. I’m taking you to bed.” His words made her feel hot even though she was so cold.

Rowan didn’t argue when Breck lifted her into his arms. She didn’t let herself think, just wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head against his chest. It felt good. Right in a way she was scared to dissect. All she knew was he wanted to be here for her and she wanted to let him. For once she wanted to depend on someone.

She hadn’t realized how tired she was until he started walking. She felt weightless. Like she couldn’t hold herself up on her own even if she tried.

“The room…”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Dinner…”

“It’s nine in the morning. I’ll figure it out.”

“What about—”

“Shh,” Breck hushed her. “You rest, okay? I’ll take care of everything.”

Rest. Yes, she needed to rest. Rowan closed her eyes. Felt Breck lay her down in her bed. Blankets. Yes, she was cold. So cold.

“I’ll be right back.”

It felt like only a second when he said, “Open your mouth, sweetheart. I want to take your temp.”