LUCIEN: A Standalone Romance (87 page)

I got in the car and drove up and down the long, wide streets of our little town. It was dark, nearly curfew. Few people were out and those who were, were old enough to be on their way to the nightshift at the local grocery warehouse. I was about ready to start knocking on doors when I happened to remember Mr. James’ card. I’d stuck it in my phone case just because I happened to pick up my phone just after he gave it to me. I pulled to the side of the road and popped it out.

What did I have to lose?

Chapter 6

Harrison

Her voice on the other end of the line was the last thing I had expected. I was lying in bed, watching the end of
The Tonight Show
when the phone rang. I thought it would be Libby or my mother, forgetting once again about the time difference between Oregon and Texas. But when I mumbled a distracted hello, it was Penelope’s panicked voice that filled my ear.

“I’m sorry to call so late, but I didn’t know who else to call. So I thought I’d trust that you aren’t out to hurt JT and ask you for help.”

I sat up, alarms sounding all through my head as I listened to her stumble over her words.

“What’s going on?”

“JT and I had a fight and he took off. And now I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Where are you?”

“On the corner of Main and Third.”

“You’re about a block from my place. Stay there and I’ll come find you.”

I ended the call before she could say anything else, flinging the phone into the center of the bed as I jumped up and pulled on a pair of jeans discarded on the floor of my bedroom and a t-shirt that was sticking out of a drawer in my dresser. I dragged my fingers through my hair, slipped on my tennis shoes, grabbed my phone, and headed out. I found her car pretty easily. It was the only one idling on the side of the road at this hour of the night.

I tapped on the window and she immediately released the locks, leaning over to open the door.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” she said as I climbed in, folding my long legs into the tight confines of her little Ford. “He was so upset. I thought he’d come back after a while, but when he didn’t—“

“Slow down and start at the beginning,” I said, laying my hand over hers where it sat on the steering wheel. “Why was he upset?”

“The coach kicked him off the team because he was still wearing his jersey when he was arrested.”

I nodded even as something inside my stomach sank like a stone in the river. Football was everything to JT. Even just observing him in my English class I could see that. To lose his spot on the team must have been devastating.

“Have you tried his friends? Called their parents?”

She nodded. “I’ve tried everyone. And I’ve been driving around for hours, trying to spot him on the street. I even drove to the neighboring towns, thinking he might have walked to one of them, just to worry me. But I can’t find him.”

Panic was creeping into her voice once again. I picked up her hand and pulled it into my lap, pressing it against my thigh to try to calm her with the pressure of my touch. She wouldn’t look at me. And her chin trembled like Libby’s often did right before she began to sob. I really didn’t want her to start crying. But I was at a loss for what to do to stop it.

“What about this Sean kid? Wasn’t he at his house on Friday night?”

“They’re best friends. But I already called over there and his mom insists JT’s not there.”

“Are you sure she would know if he was?”

Penelope hesitated before she answered. “She’s a single mom who works three jobs. I think she was on her way to her nurse’s aide job when I called her.”

“So Sean’s home alone?”

She nodded as she tugged her hand from my grip and put the car into gear. We were pulling to the curb in front of a duplex moments later. She pointed to one whose windows were ablaze with light.

“That’s Sean’s house.”

“Is there anyone living on the other side?”

She shook her head. “Not right now.”

I got out of the car and went up to the front of the building, peering through the sheer curtains on the front windows. I could see two heads hunched down on a cheap couch and the violent scene of a video game playing out on the television screen. One of the heads was blond, the other dark. If I had to guess, I would have said with ninety percent certainty that the dark head was JT, but I wanted to be sure.

I pounded on the front door and watched as the two boys jumped up off the couch, the light suddenly going out even though the television still flickered, illuminating the room as one boy ran to the back of the house and the other stood uncertainly in the living room.

“I know you’re in there, JT. Come out and tell your sister you’re still alive and well.”

Still the boy in the living room hesitated. Then he turned and I watched as a whispered argument took place between the two kids. Then, slowly, the second figure returned to the living room and approached the front door.

JT yanked over the door and stared at me like he had expected someone totally different.

“Mr. James?”

“Do you know how worried your sister’s been about you?” I asked, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the door before he had a chance to turn and disappear back inside. “She’s been searching all over town for you for hours.”

The boy was respectful enough to look a little shamed. He stared at the ground for a minute before his gaze shot out past me to the car sitting at the curb. He pulled free of my touch and walked out there, falling into Penelope’s embrace where she stood waiting against the front fender.

I stayed where I was, trying to give them a little space. I could hear a few words:
sorry…didn’t mean it…I understand…

I was curious what else happened between them today. I understood that JT was hurt by what the coach had done and that he would blame Penelope, especially if he knew that she was the one who notified the school. But it seemed like there was more to it. Once again, I watched them standing together, saw the deep affection that existed between them, and wondered how much damage my presence in this town was already doing to their relationship, to my son’s peace of mind.

But he was my son. Didn’t that mean anything?

Penelope looked up, relief and gratefulness so clear in her eyes that it spoke to something deep inside of me that wanted to respond in some meaningful way. What was it about that woman that was getting under my skin?

I’d kissed her. I hadn’t planned on it. She was accusing me of dark and stupid things, and I was about to tell her the truth when she tried to push me away and I grabbed her wrists and…one thing led to another and it seemed perfectly natural to kiss her. Or to force myself on her. I guess that was what I’d done. And I don’t know why. I’ve never had to force myself on a woman once in my entire life. Women flocked to me. I never wanted for a date, never had to go searching for a woman when I wanted one. I have never done what I did today. There was just something about Penelope that drove all sense out of my head.

And, right now, right as she made amends with my biological child, all I could think about was going over there and pulling her into my arms all over again.

I had to physically turn away to keep from going to her.

They came walking up to the house a minute later, their arms around each other’s waist.

“JT’s going to spend the night here since it’s already so late.”

I looked up, aware of the defiance in her eyes that was so much like the expression that radiated from JT’s eyes. I shrugged, stepping out of the way so that JT could duck back into the house.

“But if you miss any of your classes tomorrow, or sleep through one, you’re grounded,” Penelope yelled in after him.

“Yes, ma’am,” JT called back.

“We were actually on the way to bed,” Sean said, poking his head out the door from an awkward angle. “Please don’t tell my mom what time you came over?”

I almost laughed, but caught myself just in time.

“As long as you make an appearance in homeroom.”

“Yes, sir,” Sean said.

We said our goodnights and waited until we heard the front door lock and saw the television go off before we turned back to her car. Penelope leaned against the front fender again, pressing both hands to her face.

“Sean’s mom didn’t know he was there. Sean hid him out in his bedroom until she left for work.”

“That’s why she told you she hadn’t seen him.”

She nodded, peeking out from behind her fingers. “Is it possible to love someone so much that you want to kill them and hug them to death all at the same time?”

“Definitely.”

She dropped her hands and studied her shoes as she kicked at a loose piece of concrete on the sidewalk. “I guess you think I’m the worst guardian ever.”

“I think you’re a woman who’s in way over her head.”

“Maybe you were right the first time. Maybe someone should call child protective services on me.”

“I only said that because I was frustrated.”

She looked up at me and I realized there were tears in her eyes. I wanted to touch her, to make it all better. But there was still this thing between us, this wall that I wasn’t sure I could climb over just yet.

She turned away and climbed into the car without saying another word.

We drove across town, but instead of taking me home, she pulled into her own driveway.

“I guess the least I owe you is a drink,” she said without looking at me.

“You don’t owe me anything. In fact, I think I owe you an explanation.”

She didn’t seem to hear me. She climbed out of the car and walked to the front porch, leaving the door open after she let herself inside. I tried not to seem too eager as I unfolded my long legs from her little car and followed.

She was in the kitchen—the incredibly clean and well-appointed kitchen—pouring a healthy slug from a bottle of ten year old scotch.

“A souvenir from my dad’s collection,” she said, holding the label up where I could see it. “He was something of an alcohol enthusiast.”

“He knew good scotch.”

She nodded. “He also had very expensive tastes.”

She handed me a glass and sipped at her own. I swirled the amber liquid in the glass, looking at it in the light the way my father had taught me to do. I’d never really gotten the point to it, but it seemed to impress people. However, Penelope didn’t even seem to notice.

“I owe you an apology,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have said those things at the bakery earlier today. I know you just care about what happens to JT.”

“That’s what I wanted to explain to you,” I said, setting down my glass without taking a single sip. “There are things about me—“

“I guess I’m still too much of a small town girl,” she interrupted, a sadness to her voice that drowned out my thoughts. “I thought I was a big city gal; that I could survive in New York City like I’d always dreamed of doing. But the truth is, I thrived in this town. This is the only place I’ve ever really felt like I belonged.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Then why does it feel like a finality? Like I’ve already reached all the goals I will ever have to aspire to?” She took another sip of her scotch, wincing as the strong liquor touched her throat. “This isn’t the life JT should be stuck with.”

That was something she and I agreed on.

“He’s talented on the football field. He could get a scholarship to a good college.”

She nodded. “If the coach will let him back on the team next year.”

“Maybe if I talk to him…?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I meant for this to be a sort of thank you. And here I am moaning about my worries.”

“It’s honorable to be so concerned for your brother.”

“Is it?” She studied my face a moment. “I know absolutely nothing about you. Just that you’re an English teacher and you take an unusual interest in your students. I don’t even know your first name.”

“Harrison,” I said immediately.

She smiled. “Harrison. I like it.”

And I liked the way it sounded on her lips.

I moved closer to her, causing her to back up against the sink. It suddenly felt very familiar, but the way she was looking at me was different. There was no fear, no anger, no confusion in her eyes now. There was just naked emotion. Loneliness. Sadness. And there was need. The need was so clear, so outspoken that it was like a shout coming from those beautiful green eyes.

I removed the glass from her hand and set it on the counter, not breaking eye contact as I did. And then I took her face in both my hands and lifted her lips to mine. She opened to me almost immediately, the taste of scotch still burning on her tongue. But there were other, lovely things about her. The taste of vanilla on her tongue, the hint of mint and something sweet deeper in the depths of her mouth. It seemed like every place I touched, every new crevice I found, offered a different taste, a different hint of the secrets she held deep inside.

I only meant to kiss her. She was vulnerable, hurting. Now was not the time to do something she might regret. But that kiss was so sweet, so amazing, that I found it difficult to think, let alone step away.

And then her arms came around my neck, her fingers playing in the curls at my collar, and I began to remember what it felt like to be wanted by someone who wanted nothing more than my touch, my kiss, who wanted just me, not what I could offer through my business connections or my money.

I lifted her to the edge of the sink without breaking the kiss, my hands sliding under her shirt. Her spine stiffened slightly when I touched this one spot along her ribs, so I had to touch it again. She moaned, the sound a vibration against my lips. And then I pressed my hand under the cup of her bra and that moan became a groan that I felt deep in my balls, the need growing inside of me reaching that point of no return.