Lucid (11 page)

“He was... a wolf you know...” I whispered softly as we pulled out of the parking lot. “At first I thought he was one of those things... the ones that kill me...”

Her eyes were flicking from the road to me and back to the road again. “So you fell in love with a wolf.”

“Yeah... well... he was a badass wolf... he was a badass person too...”

“Uh... like a werewolf or something?”

“No,” I replied with a smile. “He said never to compare him to werewolves... He was a Hellhound.”

“I see.”

“I know I'm crazy... but it was so weird. He was such an ass. But after he worked his way into my dreams... I couldn't imagine not having him there.”

She was glancing at me now like I was losing it. And I guess I was. I had probably lost it long before now. I had lost it the night I had met him.

“I still have his shirt you know... he gave it to me one night during the dreams... and when I woke up I was still wearing it... and he took that picture... you know the one I hate... he has it now, wherever he is. In my mind somewhere I guess.”

“So you have his shirt... like you could show it to me... and he took something from your room when you were dreaming and its not there now?”

“Yep.”

“That's... really... weird?”

“I don't want to talk about it anymore,” I said with a sigh. Just thinking about him was making it worse... I could feel the need to find a pillow to cry in coming back. “How 'bout we go do something outrageous right now... Halloween is to far away.”

“I've got an idea... do you trust me?”

Just by the gleam in her eye I could tell she was thinking something that I probably didn't want to know. But I needed something. And if she thinks this would do it, I would trust her.

When I gave her a quick nod she just smiled and pulled into the parking lot for a Walgreen. When she came back out she had a bag full of things that she wouldn't let me see into.

“You don't get to see it till its done. That's what will be outrageous about this... you've got to trust me... completely.”

“...Okay.”

I don't know what it was about her. Maybe it was her conniving smile. Or maybe the way she kept glancing at me like I grew three heads, or even the guilt from not telling her everything about Deegan.... but I was scared. In fact terrified might be more apt a term. She was looking at me like a science project.

When we finally arrived back at my house I did as she asked and just closed my eyes and let her go to town. Who cares if she cuts it crooked or if it looks like a hot mess. Its not like anyone can hurt me worse than I hurt already.

It felt like hours that she pulled and snipped. She even washed my hair twice.

“You know Livs... just cause I was upset doesn't mean I didn't wash my hair. I know its not dirty enough to need to wash twice,” I commented thoughtfully as she pulled and dried my hair for the second time.

“I know I had to strip it.”

“Strip it...?”

My eyes snapped open in horror as her words registered in my mind. It was pink... god awful, atrociously awesome pink. The top was a deep plum, with the tips of the layers and the bottoms of the hair naturally fading into an almost magenta neon. It was trimmed well, nicely colored, and amazingly styled. I didn't know whether to love it or hate it, but I knew it was, if nothing else, outrageous.

The door to downstairs opened and closed and I could hear my father call up.

“Mercy! We're home. We got your Chinese!”

“Hey Mr. Clarke!” Olivia called down excitedly. I was horrified. She had timed it so there was no way to undo it before it was seen. And by the smile on her face I knew that was on purpose. “We're upstairs.”

The stairs creaked under my parents weight as they walked up the stairs to greet us. And I had no doubt that they were excited. It had been forever since Olivia had come over. But I didn't know if that excitement would last or turn foul once they saw what she did to my hair.

Slowly, I turned to face the door. My dad's eyes were a wide chocolate reflection of my own hazel ones. He and I both were apparently stuck somewhere between awe and fear of the bright color. When my mom saw it her and dad both took on the look of deer in headlights with no idea what to say.

“I did it myself,” Olivia chimed into the silence. “She looks a lot more chipper no?”

She squeezed herself out of the bathroom door and made her way downstairs. I could hear her opening and making a plate of Chinese while whistling some  tune I'd never heard. All the three of us could do was shake our heads with a shrug and follow after her. We all learned a long time ago you don't question Olivia Miller. You just sort of go with her flow... even if it took you somewhere weird.

Chapter 19

Wiping away the remainder of the tears I had cried myself to sleep with, I continued my trek through the woods. I tugged at the hem of Deegan's shirt lightly, wishing that it offered me as much comfort as he did. Wishing it offered me something besides the memory of  a man I would never get over. But as I continued through the dark foreboding woods my anxiety had my mind going as dark as the twisting gnarling shadows that were snaking around the trees.

My dreams had been silent. No birds chirped in the trees, no itching buzz of insects, and definitely no howling monsters... so far. But I continued moving anyways... I promised... and I didn't want to let him down. Not any more than I had already. And even hurting him that way I would take back. A evening at the library with Ethan had so not been worth losing Deegan over.

There was a sharp crack behind me and I spun around, hopeful that Deegan had come and I would get to see him and explain. That I would get another chance to fix this. Only this time it wasn't Deegan leaning casually against a tree, partially cloaked in shadows.

“... Mr. Shadar?”

“Ahhh yesss...” He hisses softly walking closer. “I alwaysss knew you were a sssmart one.”

“You're... I mean your
real
,” I replied slowly backing away from him. “I don't dream about real things...”

“Sssuch a ssshame.” His face slowly began morphing into the open maw of a lizard. “All that power and you have no idea. It isss wasssted on you.” The rest of his body popped and snapped to follow suit with his face. And soon he was no longer the man standing before me but a giant dragon headed lizard. The scream was lodged in my throat. The panic stuck without a way to escape. For every step it took forward I took one back further into the shadows. As his muscles bunched to lunge I turned and ran. I didn't look back. Didn't need to. I could hear his large form crashing through the trees behind me. I could hear the wood splintering and snapping as he chased me down.  

My feet continued along the path faster than I had ever run, my aching tired body jerking with the effort. Bursting through the treeline I slid to stop at the edge of the ravine. Glancing behind myself I saw Mr. Shadar stalking closer and closer. Slowly as if the chase was over and he knew he had won.

I was reluctant to go forward but I was even more reluctant to stay. So I began picking my way across the fallen log as fast as I could safely manage. Mr. Shadar's rumbling snakelike laughter following me across the ravine. He put his large clawed feet against the edge of the log and I knew I had made a mistake. He intended to send me down into the ravine.

“Even if I drink your lifeblood here I won't gain the giftsss I ssseek.” his grip tightened on the edge of the log moving it slightly closer to the edge. “But you will be weaker... and it will be satisssfying to finally get to you now that your
dog
is gone.”

As the log fell and I began to tumble over the edge, the scream that had been stuck in my throat was finally torn loose. I experienced a moment of free fall before my body was hit by a black blurred mass that griped me tightly, as I tumbled down the the side of the ravine.

As I burrowed my face deeper into the dense furred body, I became calm. The smell of the forest, and earth and the smell of distinct male overcame me and I knew I was safe. Reaching my arms further into Deegan's thick fur coat I gripped him tighter. He had come for me. Now that he could hear me, I sure as hell wasn't letting go. Whether we were being attacked by a giant lizard or not, I had to make sure he knew... that he knew I couldn't go on without him. His black form wrapped around me as we bounced against the hard rocks to the bottom of the ravine. And when we finally tumbled to the hard rocky ground his body was limp.

“Deegan. Deegan!” I shouted and shook his body as he slowly began to stir. My body wracked with shaking sobs as tears poured down my face. “Please...please, please... you can't be dead. You can't-”

He let out a low growling groan as he tried to lift himself up. When his deep red eyes finally opened and focused on me, there was a mild shock in his eyes, and I couldn't fault him for it. My hair was
atrociously
pink. I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around his thick neck. I felt his giant paws and bear-like talons gently against my back as he tried to embrace me back.

“Cariad,” he breathed softly into my ear. “Even when I try to give you up I can't seem to stay away.”

“Deegan I-”

“How touching,” Mr. Shadar growled.  Deegan let out a vicious snarl as our bodies snapped to face the oncoming threat. “The demon protecting the human.” By the time he had finished speaking Deegan's hackles were fully raised and he looked ready for a fight.

I didn't have to wait long to see how this was going to play out. Before Mr. Shadar's giant serpentine body had a chance to lunge forward Deegan dipped in snarling and snapping. His jaws caught along the scales of the neck breaking through the surface as deep red blood oozed from Mr. Shadar's wounds.

Deegan's advantage didn't last long however. As the thick serpent tail swung around knocking him to the ground. Mr. Shadar wasted no time in pouncing on Deegan, his fangs growing closer and closer to to tearing at Deegan's soft flesh.

“MERCY GO!” Deegan howled trying to hold the large fangs back.

I felt my heel dig into the ground to pivot, but I stopped myself before I turned. Before I listened... if he died here... was he dead? Mr. Shadar looked like more of a match than anything else Deegan had fought in my dreams. If I lost him here like this would I lose him? I didn't want my last sight of Deegan to be him struggling for his life, trying to protect me.

Before I knew what I was doing the rock was in my hand. My body moved forward of its own accord and I felt the shock wave through my arm as the rock made contact with the side of Mr. Shadar's large snakelike face. His voice erupted into a howling hiss as he was distracted from Deegan and turned to face me.

“You bitch! I'll fucking kill you!” My body pulled away from him as he advanced on me. I could see Deegan choking and trying to catch his breath in my peripheral vision. I continued to back away as Deegan struggled to stand.

Just before his gaping serpentine maw reached me, Deegan lunged. I could hear the crunching of his fangs as he tore into the scales on the back of the snakelike neck.

If I had thought for a minute, by the sound of the howling shrieks I would have thought Deegan was winning. But I was sorely mistaken as Mr. Shadar's serpentine body curled in on itself and wrapped around Deegan.

Amongst all the snarling and snapping Deegan turned his gaze to me. The liquid softness in it said goodbye. And in that moment I knew that if Deegan died here it was forever. And he knew it. As the serpentine coils grew tighter Deegan kept his eyes locked on mine as though the thing he wanted most to see as his life ended was me. Like he was committing every curve of me to memory. As my heart broke with the sight of him, something else made its way into me. Hate. Rage. Anger.

As a tingling sensation spread though my body, there was only one thought in my mind. That snake would
burn
for taking what was mine. As I stalked forward he began shrieking and his body started to unwind from Deegan. I could see small sparks and flames erupting along his serpentine skin. He let Deegans body drop and began slowly backing away.

I wanted the flames higher. I wanted them stronger. For every step I advanced he took one back. And for every step he took back the flames grew higher.  There was panic in his golden snakes eyes now. Things weren't going his way, and he knew I would not let it end how he wanted it.

When I made it next to Deegan's fallen body, I slowly pulled his limp body up against me. His eyes were open watching me, and he had a pride filled grin on his face. The distraction of Deegan was all it took, and Mr. Shadar let out a vicious howl and lunged forward.

I pulled Deegan's massive frame tighter into my arms as I felt the flames erupt around us. Deegan was
mine
. And I wasn't going to give  him up. All I could hear was the crackling fire and the wild shrieks as my world went black.

Chapter 20

As the black faded away, I managed to stumble my numb body into the bathroom. Throwing myself against the toilet I began heaving. My whole body was wracked, as my muscles trembled under the pain. Even though there was nothing but stomach acid my body kept heaving, trying to get
something
out. What that something was I didn't know.

Olivia's hand ran comfortingly against my back, before she grabbed my hair in her petite hands and held it out of the way. She held me steady as my body continued shaking. I was at once grateful that she had insisted on staying the night.

When I finally was able to spit the last of the horrible taste out of my mouth, it was coppery with my blood. My screaming stint from the day before had done more damage to my throat than I had thought.

Olivia casually walked back to my room when I stood to brush my teeth. I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. She wasn't about to let it go. But always thoughtful always cautious she had let me have a chance to recover, and I was grateful for it.

When I finally walked back into my room, Olivia was waiting on my bed watching me. I knew she was curious, I could see it in her eyes, but there was no way I was going to make the first move with this.