Loving You (The Jade Series #3) (23 page)

I hear Blake laughing above the music. The crowd noise returns to a low roar.
 

When we get to the car, Garret opens my door and slams it shut. Then he gets in the driver’s side, slamming that door shut. He says nothing, his jaw clenched, his breathing heavy.

There’s a tapping sound on my window and I look out to see Carson standing there. The car’s not turned on, so I can’t get the window down.
 

I crack open the door and Carson takes hold of it, opening it more as he leans down to talk to me. “Are you okay? Do you need a ride?”

“No, she doesn’t need a fucking ride,” Garret says. He’s now gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles are white.

Carson pokes his head into the car. “Hey, man. You seem a little out of control. I’m just trying to make sure Jade is safe.”

Garret glares at him. “Are you serious? You think she’s not safe with me? You don’t even know me. AlI I do is worry about her safety.”
 

“I’m fine, Carson,” I reassure him. “You can go back inside.”

He doesn’t. He just continues to stand there.
 

I turn back toward Garret, who’s shaking his head side to side. He notices me watching him and looks at me. “You’re not even gonna explain what happened? You just want this guy accusing me of being some psychopath? Like I get in fights every day?”

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just go.”

Carson opens my door even farther. “I don’t think you should ride with him.”
 

Garret jumps out of the car, slamming the door again. He storms over to Carson, getting up in his face. “Maybe you should get your fucking facts straight before you go accusing me of shit.” He points to the house. “A few weeks ago, that guy in there almost raped my girlfriend. Did you hear me asshole? He almost raped her. And just now, he had his hands all over her again. How the fuck is a guy supposed to react to that? Just stand there and do nothing?”

Carson backs away. “Um, yeah, man. I get it. I didn’t know.”
 

I’m so embarrassed. The attempted rape is not something I want people to know about, especially my chem lab partner. Now every encounter I have with Carson is going to be awkward. He’ll always be thinking about this. About me. With Blake.

“You can leave now.” Garret goes back around the car to the driver’s side. He gets in and starts the engine. Carson stands there, still looking concerned for my safety. I close the door and we drive off.
 

“I fucking hate that guy,” Garret says as he turns onto the main road.

“I hate Blake, too, but you can’t beat him up again.”

“I wasn’t talking about Blake.”

“You mean Carson? Why do you hate Carson? He just stopped you from going to jail.”

“He shouldn’t have interfered like that. It was none of his fucking business.”
 

We drive past the college and continue down the winding road.
 

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to go back to Moorhurst right now. Let’s just drive. Unless you have a place you want to go.”

“Can we just sit and talk for a minute? I think you’re too angry to drive.”

“So now you’re agreeing with Carson?” Garret shakes his head. “That’s just fucking great.”

“Why are so jealous of him? We’re lab partners. That’s it.”

Garret pulls into an empty parking lot and stops the car, leaving the engine running. “He wants you, Jade. It’s so damn obvious. He’s been trying to make me look bad since I met him. And then tonight he tries to come in and rescue you, like he’s some fucking superhero saving you from the evil villain. How are you not seeing this?”

“It doesn’t matter. He can do a million things to try to impress me, but I’ll still end up with you. Don’t you get that? You don’t need to be jealous. I want to be with you and only you. Nothing is going to change that.”

“Yeah, right,” he mumbles.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t think I’m committed to this? Is that what this is about?”

He looks straight ahead into the darkness. “You’re always telling me this won’t last. That something or someone will break us apart. And as much as I tell you that’s not true, you continue to think it.”

“I used to. But not anymore. I’m the one who suggested we move in together. That’s a huge commitment.”

“I suggested it first. And you turned me down. You suggested the summer rental because it’s temporary. You said if it doesn’t work out, we’ll still have our dorm rooms in the fall. Like you’re already planning on it not working.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He turns to me. “Then why say it, Jade? Why do you have to put all this negative shit out there like that? Why can’t you just leave it at ‘I want to get an apartment with you, Garret’ and forget whatever thoughts you have about it not working?”

“I don’t know. I just say that stuff without even thinking.”
 

We sit quietly for a moment.
 

Garret turns the car off and lets out a long sigh. “I’m sorry about tonight. Things got out of hand. It started when I saw Carson looking at you that way.”

“He wasn’t—”

“Let’s just agree to disagree on that, okay? And then Sierra had to start bringing up all that high school shit again.”

“About that. Did you really play football?”
 

“Yeah. Why?”

“And you were the freaking quarterback?”

“Yeah.” His tone softens and he smiles just a tiny bit.

“That’s really hot. Why didn’t you tell me I was the dating the high school quarterback?”

“I went to a small private school. It’s not like we had a good team.”

“I still think it’s hot. And you were homecoming king?”

“That’s just embarrassing. I can’t believe Sierra brought that up.”

“Garret, you’re like a movie cliché. The quarterback who wins homecoming king and is also rich and super hot. I’m dating a teen movie cliché.”

It makes us both laugh.
 

“I never thought about it that way. I played football because I liked it, not to be popular or get girls. And I wasn’t trying to be homecoming king.” He gets serious again and reaches over for my hand. “Jade, did Blake do anything to you tonight? Did he say anything?”

“Not really. He put his hand on my shoulder. That’s about it.”

“He never should’ve touched you. We had a deal. He’s not allowed to come near you.”

“Well, you knew he wouldn’t listen.”

“So are you okay?”
 

I shift in my seat and gaze out the side window at the dark woods that line the parking lot. “I guess.”
 

“Jade. Are you okay?” He asks again, more forcefully this time.

I turn back to him and shake my head no. A tear runs down my face as I think about Blake and what he did to me that night. Dammit! I will not let that bastard make me cry. He’s not worth it.
 

Garret places his hand on the side of my face. “Talk to me, Jade.”

I take a deep breath, trying to get control over my watery eyes and shaky voice. “I could smell him. And then I heard him. And that’s all it took. It was like I was back in my room, reliving the whole thing all over again. I could feel him on top of me. I could feel the weight of him pushing me down. And I couldn’t move. I tried. I did everything Ryan taught me, but I couldn’t get Blake off me.”
 

Now I’m full blown crying, which doesn’t make sense. I’m angry, not sad. So why the hell am I crying?

Garret gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. “Back seat.”
 

We both sit in the back, just like we did at the hospital when I broke down after seeing Frank in the ICU. Garret holds me against him and my body finally starts to relax.

“I’m fine.” I wipe the tears from my face. “We don’t need to do this.”
 

“You’ve never talked about it. You haven’t said a word about it since you talked to my lawyers. And even then, you described it like it happened to someone else.”

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m over it.”

“If that were true you wouldn’t have felt that way when he approached you tonight. And you wouldn’t be reacting like you are now.”

He’s right. I’m not over it. I still have nightmares about it. I just don’t want to admit it. If I do, people will think I’m weak. And I’ll be giving Blake too much power.
 

Garret holds me closer and threads his hand with mine. “Jade. Just talk to me.”
 

There’s something about this moment, just the two of us sitting in the back seat of the car, that makes me want to tell Garret everything. So I do. I tell him how scared I was that night. How helpless I felt. How I felt like it was somehow my fault. And how I keep reliving the whole thing, thinking I could have done something different.

“Jade, you should’ve told me this sooner. Why were you keeping all this to yourself?”

“Because I don’t like feeling shit. And I especially don’t like
talking
about feeling shit. And now you’ve got me doing both, you big idiot.”

The way I say it makes him laugh which makes me laugh. “Sometimes you’re really funny when you’re yelling at me.”
 

“I wasn’t yelling. I’m just annoyed that you’ve turned me into this crying, feeling, hugging mess.”

“I’m sorry.” He lifts my head off his chest. “Forgive me?”
 

“I guess. I do feel better finally saying all that.”

“So don’t keep stuff to yourself anymore. If I made you this way, the least I can do is always be here to listen. And give you one of those hugs I taught you.” His arms tighten around me.

“Can we go home now? It’s starting to get cold in here.”

“Yes, we can go.”
 

When we get back to campus, he walks me to my room as he always does.

“I know it’s not sleepover Saturday, but can I stay with you tonight?”

He leans down and kisses my forehead. “You never have to ask me that. You can stay with me every night if you want.”

“I think I’ll just add Fridays for now.”

When we get in bed we kiss, but he doesn’t take it any farther. He knows I don’t want that tonight. I just want to be near him, tucked inside his warm, safe arms.

Leave it to Blake to ruin yet another evening. But as awful as it was, the night ended with Garret and me having a really good talk in the car. A talk which took our relationship to an even deeper level. That happens a lot with us. Bad stuff happens and each time it does, we seem to grow closer, not farther apart. It’s another thing I love about us.

The rest of the weekend we stay on campus. I don’t want to risk going into town and running into Blake. Decker texted Garret and said Blake was only home for the weekend and was flying back to San Diego on Sunday night. I assumed Blake wouldn’t be back here until spring break, but I guess when you’re rich you can fly home as much as you want. And apparently you can get away with whatever you want, too. Attempted rape. Selling drugs. I’m sure Blake’s done even more bad things and yet he gets to go on living his life without any type of punishment. Sure, he got kicked out of Moorhurst, but now he’s at some private college in San Diego. It’s hardly a punishment.

On Monday I see Carson at physics but I manage to avoid him. On Tuesday at chem class I realize I can’t keeping avoiding him, so I sit next to him like I always do and try to act like last Friday night never happened. He doesn’t say much, but he looks at me differently now. Like he feels sorry for me because of what he heard and saw at the party. And I hate that he looks at me that way.
 

When class ends I race out of the room and down the stairs, not putting my coat on until I get outside. I don’t want a lecture from Carson about how Garret is dangerous and aggressive and violent—all things I know he’s thinking after seeing Garret try to beat up Blake.
 

After lunch, I go to lab and arrive just as it’s starting. Carson’s already there setting up the equipment.
 

“Do you want to get the reactant or do you want me to?” Carson’s holding up a beaker that he’s already filled with one of the chemicals in the experiment.
 

“I’ll get it.”

He watches as I go to the table that has the other chemical we need, then continues to watch me as I walk back to our station and start the bunsen burner. Why is he watching me so closely? Is he thinking about the attempted rape?
 

I really wish Garret hadn’t told him about that. I know Garret didn’t say it to embarrass me. He was mad and he was trying to explain his behavior that night. I get that. But I still wish he hadn’t said it.

“So how did things work out with Sierra the other night?” I ask, hoping to take Carson’s mind off whatever he’s thinking that’s causing him to look at me that way.
 

“Good. She introduced me to some people. Mostly friends of hers from high school. That prep school Garret went to.”