Loving Nicole (21 page)

“The thought of food makes me cringe, but I wouldn’t mind some Sprite. My stomach is a mess,” she says backing away from the door.

I feel like I’ve won a victory, just being able to get through the door. I hope like hell I get the chance to win another one.

Nicole

T
he last thing
I expected to see was Dragon standing at my door. I’m sick as a dog, I can barely breathe, I’m depressed because I couldn’t see the baby tonight and I look like hell. When I opened the door and Dragon was standing there, part of me wished a giant hole would swallow me up. I would have rather looked good, but I feel so bad I can’t drum up the energy to do anything about it.

I’ve missed him. Is it possible to be mad at someone and want to kill them, yet hurt from being away from them? It feels like a piece of me is missing, and I don’t have the strength to turn him away tonight. Instead, I stand back and open the door wider. He comes in with a lopsided grin, but it has none of the cockiness that Dragon usually has. He goes into the kitchen, finds a glass and puts some ice in it, before filling it with soda.

His large hand brushes my forehead as he hands me the glass.

“You’re burning up, Mama,” he whispers and his breath fans my hair. I close my eyes, absorbing his touch. God, I miss him.

“It’s just a cold.”

He kisses the top of my head and my heart literally hurts. It’s an exquisite pain.

“Have you taken anything to bring the fever down?”

“I was getting ready to.”

“I’ll get it. You go lay down on the couch.”

“But…”

“Do it, Mama. Let me take care of you tonight, please? No strings, I just need this.”

Something about the look on his face and the change in his tone, grabs my attention. I nod and go back into the living room. I curl up in one corner with an afghan over me and take another drink, before sitting it down.

In a little while Dragon comes in the living room carrying a tray.

“Dragon, I told you. I’m just not hungry.”

“We’ll try and get a little down you. You don’t want to get sicker. Dom needs you.”

I freeze. Dragon hadn’t really been back to the hospital since I put Dom’s real name up.

“I didn’t realize you knew,” I say and I’m thankful for my fever because I probably would have flushed with guilt otherwise.

“I just found out, why did you change it?”

Confession time.
Who said confession was good for the soul? Because they’re stupid. Still, I might as well bite the bullet.

“It always was Dominic. I was mad at you and I knew you hated those names,” I shrug.

“It’s a good name.”

“I’m really sorry about Frog. His sister seemed to be having a hard time.”

“Yeah, she is. He was all she had.”

“We should reach out to her,” I tell him, totally ignoring that I’m already putting us back together in my brain.

“Believe it or not, Skull has.”

Interesting, but I find myself hoping that works out.

“I’m sorry I was childish. I should have told you the baby’s name.”

“I was stupid, so I figure you had a right to be childish.”

My eyes must have given away my surprise, because he smiles sardonically and then shakes his head.

“I knew better, Mama. You’d never betray me. I was scared you were hurt and opening the door to see what…,” he shakes his head. “My big mouth just reacted first and my brain didn’t catch up. I’m sorry.”

It’s silent now and more than a little awkward. I move the spoon around. I manage to get down a spoonful or two of the soup, but that’s about it. Dragon gives me that look, so I put the tray on the coffee table and compromise by showing him I’m eating a handful of crackers.

He shakes his head, but his lips curve into a mocking smile. It’s a good smile, his eyes crinkle at the corners.

“I’m sorry I shot you,” I say when I finish eating and go back to just my Sprite.

His smile grows. His eyes light up. Have I mentioned how much I love his eyes?

“I can’t believe you shot me.”

“I may need to take gun classes.”

“
Oh, hell no
. You could have shot off my balls that last time. I think you need to stay away from guns—for everyone’s safety.”

“That wouldn’t happen if I were trained,” I defend.

“We’ll see. Here take some ibuprofen and let’s see about getting your fever down,” he semi-orders, reaching to the forgotten tray to give me the medicine.

I take it and turn back to the TV.

“I remember the first night I came here and you were covered up in that afghan.”

My eyes lock back on his.

“I had no idea then just how much you would rock my world, woman. I just knew, I needed you like my next breath.”

“Dragon…”

“That’s even truer today, Nicole. I might be an idiot, Mama. I know I’ve cut you deep. I’ll try and fix it, but you need to know that I love you with everything I am and if I fuck up, it’s not because I don’t care.”

“Dragon, what’s happened to you? You’re getting practically mushy, better watch it, you’re losing badass-biker status,” I try to joke because his words touch me. They’re not enough, but they do smooth over some of the hurt, and I’m too sick tonight to try and shore up my defenses against him.

“I’m pretty sure that happened when I let your fine ass talk me into putting on that fucking monkey suit.”

“Ugh. If I’m honest, you look damn good in a suit, but I missed my man in his jeans and cut.”

“Thank fuck.”

It was my turn to smile, which wasn’t easy because I was trying to breathe through my mouth.

“My head is woozy.”

“Come here and lay in my lap and watch TV. Try to nap, you’ve run your system down trying to be everywhere, so soon after having surgery.”

“I should call and check on Dom.”

“He’s fine baby, I just came from there, remember? Our boy is a fighter.”

“Dragon…”

“I’m not asking for nothing, Mama. Well, that’s not true, I’m asking for a chance to prove to you I get what you’re saying. That I will do better, but for tonight just let me be close to you and take care of you.”

I should tell him to leave, that what he wants is dangerous. I should tell him there is a lot of trust to rebuild. I can’t. I’m too tempted. So I twist and turn to my side, laying my head on his lap. My eyes go to the television, but I’m not really watching. The sound is so low, you can barely hear it anyway. In a minute I feel Dragon’s fingers comb through my hair and my eyes close at the pleasure of it. I have missed his closeness so much. I had faced the rest of my life without him and, until this moment, I never allowed myself to contemplate ever having him back. The force of emotions that hit me cause moisture to gather in my eyes, but I choke it back. I can’t deal with any of that right now.

“Don’t blame me if I drool all over your jeans or if you get sick,” I mutter, annoyed with myself for being weak.

“It’s worth it, just to have you close. I’ve missed the hell out of you, Mama.”

“You sure aren’t sounding like the Dragon who thought I’d be the perfect Twinkie to add to his collection.”

“That Dragon was a stupid prick. Luckily the taste of your lips, woke my ass up quick.”

“So, you admit that’s what you wanted from me?” I prod with a giggle, because he’s always denied it.

“Just until I had a taste of you. From that moment on, you were
mine
.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t own people, Dragon.”

“I disagree, you’ve pretty much owned me from that first day, Mama.”

I smile and close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers and the sweetness of just having him here with me.

“Where do you think we would have been, if we hadn’t met that day at the gas station?”

“I probably would have been hooked up with Lips and felt empty as hell.”

“Lips?” I ask and try to tap down the twinge of jealousy that flairs. (It might be a
big
twinge.)

“She was a Twinkie, but different from the rest. I respected her. We got along well enough, I had been thinking on it. Just never really cared enough to make a move.”

“Well…that sounds…fun.”

“I didn’t want to be that man.”

“That man?”

“That sixty-year-old who was still sharing women with his brothers and crawling between the open legs of some chick, not because she gave a fuck about me, but just because she wanted to make it with a member of the Savage crew.”

“Wow, Dragon, you paint a pretty picture.”

“Mama, until you came into my life, I never realized what happiness was, let alone love.”

I soak in those words. I drink them in
deep
.

“Are you feeling okay after the surgery?” He asks softly.

“Yeah, sore and stuff, but they tell me that’s normal. All things considered, I’m doing really well.”

“My woman’s a fighter, it’s where our son gets it.”

“I figured that trait was pure stubbornness. That is definitely a West family trait, sweetheart.”

“I like that,” he says after a few minutes of silence.

“What?”

“West family. Hated that fucking name my whole life until you gave it a reason.”

Okay so maybe a few tears fall when he says that, but it’d take a stronger woman than I am
not
to react to that.

“I’m getting sleepy…” I say because I am. I just hate to see this evening end.

“Then rest, Mama, I’ll lock up and take care of you.”

“I’m really glad you came by tonight, Dragon.”

“Dani talked me into it.”

The mention of Dani’s name hurts me. In some ways I’ve been a lot angrier with her than I have Dragon. Even so, I’ve still been worried about her.

“How is she?”

“Scarred, and I’m not talking about anything visible, but she was worried about you. She gave me the kick I needed to pull my head out of my ass.”

I think about what he just said. I need to talk with Dani and make things better. I just don’t think I can right now. I need to work through some of this anger I have inside of me. Still, I promise myself that I will try talking to her soon. I don’t want to be cut out of her life.

“I’m glad.”

“Me too. Now rest, Mama.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Never thought I’d like that…”

I smile, “What’s that?”

“A woman calling me, Daddy. With you, it’s hot as hell though. Only thing that would make it better is if you said it while I was smacking that ass of yours.”

“Seems like I’ve heard that somewhere before…” I whisper.

The last thing I hear before sleep claims me is Dragon laughing.
God, I love him
.

Dragon

I
haven’t slept.
Since the moment I made the decision to trap Kavanagh—I haven’t slept. A nap here, a nap there and that’s it. There was no use for me to go to bed unless it was to jack off to thoughts of my woman. Sleep wouldn’t come, it mocked me. It didn’t take long before I couldn’t even cum to the thoughts of my woman, because I was seeing all too well how much she was hurting and that shit was
my
fault. So having her talk and laugh with me again, like we did last night, is the best motherfucking gift I have been given since my son was born. Falling asleep with Nicole laying on her side and my arm pulling her back into me and her hair falling against my chest, just listening to her breathe is a motherfucking miracle. Something about it being the first bed I slept with her all night in… Seems
right
, like we’ve come full circle. So, for the first night in forever, I actually slept. To be honest, waking up seems like a bad idea; last night was a dream I’ve had for far too long.

Here I lie, with my eyes closed, willing myself into going back to sleep, and it just doesn’t work.

“We’re not going there, so you need to tell Dragon, Jr. to quit poking me in the back,” Nicole mumbles and I smile.

“Morning, Mama.”

“How’d we get up here?”

“I carried you, after I wiped the drool off my leg.”

“I warned you.”

“That you did. How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure. I just woke up because there was a steel rod poking me.”

“Hey, I can’t help what you do to me, Nicole. It’s beyond my control.”

“Well you need to tell him to stop, because even if I could—which I can’t, we’re not going there.”

“You could suck him. I’ll give you my cum.”

“You’re so delusional,” she says but I can hear the smile in her voice.

“How about you lay in bed and I bring you some breakfast and meds? While you call and check on Dom, sound like a plan?”

“Umm…you’re going to cook?”

“Fuck no, I was going to run out to the Truck Stop and pick up two breakfast platters. That way Carrie and Dance still have a kitchen when they get back.”

“Ick. Please no.”

“Still no appetite? We have to fix this, Nicole. I need you to keep your ass.”

She turns and looks at me over her shoulder, like I’m nuts.

“Have you seen my ass? I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of it back there.”

“I dream of your ass, of sliding my cock in it and fucking it hard. Sinking so deep inside you taste me….”

“Dragon, quit trying to get me horny. I can’t have sex yet, damn it, and even if I could you and I are nowhere near that place yet.”

I curl closer to her and prop myself up on my arm, so I can whisper in her ear.

“Am I making you horny, Mama?”

“Fuck you.”

I grin, as my hand goes over her breasts.

“Shit, I’m going to miss these…”

“Oh my God, Dragon, I’m still a freaking double D cup, even without the milk.”

I fake a longing sigh. “I know, it will be like you’ve let my play toys waste away to nothing.”

“Okay, I need to pump and then I’m getting away from you and jumping in the shower. I wouldn’t say no to toast and more Sprite.”

“Pump?”

“I use a breast pump so they can give Dom the milk. Of course, I’ll have to throw it out for a few days because I’m sick.”

“They feed him your milk through some of those tubes and things?”

“Yeah. They say it’s healthier for him.”

“What happens while you’re sick?”