Loving Mr. Darcy: Journeys Beyond Pemberley (32 page)

They held each other for a very long while, reassured by the silence of their hearts beating in tune. Lizzy lazily caressed his chest, the foolish conjectures of the past week fading into the wind as her husband comforted with tender kisses and a sturdy grip. Finally, he asked her to tell him everything that had been said. She did, leaving nothing out except for the revelation of his grief when she refused him. That disclosure was too private and painful to relive, for either of them.

"You are correct, you know, in that my aunt never has understood me. Of course, that is as much my fault as hers. I do not open myself easily to anyone, as you can attest. My aunt and I are not confidantes. My mother and her sister were not overly friendly or intimate. My mother was closest to the middle Fitzwilliam sister, my Aunt Muriel. She passed when I was very young and I barely remember her. Anyway, Catherine was the eldest, and despite her constant assertions, my mother never planned for Anne and me to marry. Oh, I think she probably thought it would be sweet when we were born so closely together, but it was not a serious arrangement. Aunt Catherine always pushed it though, and my mother remained silent, probably out of intimidation from her brazen older sister, but mostly because she knew I am far too stubborn to be forced into anything. The irony is that the compulsory association with each other did lead to a strong affection, but as cousins should.

"My Uncle Lewis passed four years ago, and per Aunt Catherine's request, I assumed the role of advisor to the estate. It was all a ploy, as she had run roughshod over my uncle for years and knew more about the estate's affairs than he did! Still, I found it easier to comply rather than argue. Besides, I like Kent and enjoyed visiting Anne. There was never any agreement with my uncle, or official duty. That is a boldfaced lie."

Darcy paused, peering intently into Lizzy's eyes, piercing her very soul as only he could. "As to the rest, Elizabeth, I honestly do not know where to begin. A part of me wants to shake you until your teeth rattle for being so foolish as to entertain the tiniest notion that I would care one iota what anyone in society thinks. Yet, I recognize your innocence and cannot deny that I planted the seed of doubt by my own words at Kent. I will not lie to you and deny that there are clearly those who will temporarily shun me for my choice of wife. That is the reality of this world I live in. In this my aunt is partly truthful. The invitations have been markedly diminished. What she does not appreciate is that I am utterly indifferent and frankly relieved. In the past, I denied the vast majority of solicitations received because I was not interested. They consisted primarily of families with eligible daughters or business propositions designed to profit by my wealth. I have told you again and again, Elizabeth, how I hated the falseness of the ton. If this is the world and opinion that truly mattered to me, then I would have married a Caroline Bingley years ago!"

He painfully grasped her chin with his thumb and index finger, raptor gaze of darkened blue eyes boring into her. "Elizabeth, we have discussed this ad nauseam during our engagement and I cannot revisit the period during which I lost you, and the torment that caused to my soul. The agony is too extreme. I would lay down my very life for you and our child. That is not merely a poetic phrase; it is the truth. My wealth, Pemberley, my horses, social standings, or family ties--none of it has any meaning without you. If you do not yet comprehend this and my love for you above all else in this world, then there is nothing more I can say or do to convince you."

Elizabeth was crying silently, wanting to hide her face in shame, but he would not slacken his grip. He continued to study her as if reading into her mind through her eyes. She clutched him tightly about the waist, returning his direct stare, pouring all her love and remorse into her teary eyes. At last he nodded, seemingly satisfied with what he gleaned. He smiled slightly and leaned in for a tender kiss. Lizzy released a shuddering sigh of liberation as he kissed her. It was a long kiss, devoid of passion, but replete with love and assurance and peace.

M
R. DARCY!"

Darcy turned from the open doorway to view the eager young face of Mr. Joshua Daniels bearing down on him. He was in the process of exiting the building which housed his solicitor's offices, having spent the past hour signing the legal documents pertaining to the arrangement with Duke Grafton, as well as a smattering of other papers. Now, his solicitor's son was approaching, and Darcy did not doubt the purpose although he maintained a neutral expression.

"Mr. Daniels," he replied with a bow.

"Mr. Darcy, I was praying I may speak with you for a moment? Regarding a personal matter, if you have the time?"

"Of course." They entered a small conference room, Mr. Daniels blushing and nervous but determined.

"Sir, I was blessed with the great fortune to deliver the Royston contracts to your house several days ago whereupon I met Mrs. Darcy and four other ladies in her company. Lovely women all; however, I would be perjuring myself if I denied that one of the young ladies in particular captured my attention most profoundly. Your esteemed wife's sister, Miss Mary Bennet, is of whom I speak. We spoke briefly and I sensed a mutual interest. Nonetheless, I deemed it proper to approach you as her guardian ere I pursued the matter."

The entire speech was delivered in a rush, and in practically one breath. Yet Darcy was impressed, as Mr. Daniels boldly met Darcy's eyes throughout, a feat many fail at, and his manners spoke for themselves. Darcy nodded seriously. "Thank you, Mr. Daniels, for your consideration and honesty. Ultimately the decision is Miss Bennet's, and I cannot speak for her feelings on the subject. However, you have my permission to call if she wishes it." Darcy struggled not to laugh at the poor man's visible relief, continuing instead with, "I should enlighten you, though, that Miss Bennet will be in Town only for another three weeks or so, then she is returning to Hertfordshire. At that time, her care will be resumed by her father."

Mr. Daniels lifted his chin bravely, undoubtedly imagining the horrors of dealing with a ferocious father. "Thank you, sir."

Darcy left the offices in high spirits. His affection toward both his new sisters had increased over the past weeks. Mary, although still rather odd to him, had relaxed in his presence and displayed a rare intelligence. She was stoic and did not seem to possess the slightest humor, but she was steady, confident, pretty, loyal, and kind. Georgiana adored her, and this alone recommended her to Darcy. It was far too early to predict where the romance may lead, but Darcy felt it would be a good match.

His spirits waned as he drew nearer to the setting of his next appointment: the townhouse of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He dreaded meeting his aunt. His anger seethed below the serene exterior, unrelenting since he first heard of her rudeness to his wife. He and Elizabeth, once again, had been forced to revisit the past, dredging up awful memories and emotions that they had successfully resolved. In the end, their indescribable, unbreakable love had triumphed, the only positive in this episode being the proof of how their devotion to each other could and would overcome all odds. Still, Darcy was furious at the interruption to their bliss and communion. He had no clear path, only certain that he must confront his aunt.

She had consented to meet with him, her note impersonal and short, as had been Darcy's to her. As a footman took his coat, Anne appeared to greet him, a sweet smile on her pale face.

"Cousin William! Mother told me you were visiting today, so I have been watching for you."

"Dearest Anne," he replied as he kissed her cheek, "have you been well? Any changes?"

She shrugged. "I am the same, William. Fair days followed by ill. Congratulations on your blessed news. I am so very delighted for you and Mrs. Darcy. Has she been well?"

"Thank you, Anne. She is well now. The early months were moderately difficult, yet nothing unexpected, thankfully."

"I do hope you and mother can resolve your dispute. I so desire to meet your wife now that she is family. I was quite taken with her when she tarried at Kent last year. So lively and witty. It did not surprise me that you were enamored with her as she is perfect for you, Mr. Stuffy."

Darcy laughed through his surprise. "You have not called me that since we were children. I believe I am offended!"

Anne smiled then grew serious. "Mother is in her parlor, practicing a pose of intimidation, most assuredly. Be kind, William, and attempt to check that infamous Darcy temper at the door!" She kissed his cheek, then left him at the threshold.

Darcy knocked and, at his aunt's permission, entered, though with a deep inhale and a silent prayer. Lady Catherine sat imperiously in a massive chair gazing inscrutably at her nephew as he bowed formally before her. "Aunt Catherine" was his only greeting.

"Fitzwilliam," she responded. "Have you come to chasten me as did your uncle?"

"The course this interview runs will wholly depend upon your attitude, Aunt. I do not judge it within my authority to discipline you and have no plans to do so. My only intent is to clarify, again, the facts as they stand. Unless you wish to begin by apologizing for your egregious behavior to my wife?"

"I did extend my apologies to your wife. Was this not sufficient?"

"Unfortunately, no. Your note was brief and vague."

"What, precisely, is it you want from me, Fitzwilliam? To say that I approve of your choice? That I am pleased that Anne is rejected? Is this what you expect from me?"

"It is pointless to discuss Anne and me. All you need do is heed the assertions of your daughter and you would understand that she had no desire to marry me had I wished it. Any proposal on my part would have been repulsed, thus making myself the rejected individual. In regards to Mrs. Darcy, you are correct in that it is my choice, and astoundingly erroneous for you to credit your approval a precondition in any decision of mine. Pardon my bluntness, madam, but you presume an influence on my life that is not your prerogative."

Lady Catherine inhaled with an audible gasp, pursed her lips, and averted her eyes. Darcy remained still for a few moments, struggling to control his temper, and then sat down near his aunt. He leaned forward and took her hands gently, her surprised gaze jerking to his face. Darcy was stern as he spoke.

"Aunt Catherine, hearken to my words. I have had many months to ruminate over your initial interference into my affairs. As misplaced and ill-mannered as it was for you to intercede, I do believe that, to a degree, it was out of affection for me and concern for my welfare. This is a topic I too have some experience with." The last was spoken with a wry twist to his lips. "In hope that this is the case, I appeal to this affection. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, Aunt. My life is complete, and I am whole as I have never been. Even if you cannot comprehend this nor concur with how it has transpired, please, I beg you for the sake of our relationship and peace in our family to trust me and believe."

They stared at each other for several heartbeats. Finally, Catherine asked, "She truly means that much to you, Fitzwilliam?"

"Yes, she does." He paused. "Elizabeth is an amazing individual. If you had given her the opportunity to prove herself, you would have deduced this fact for yourself. I pray you will allow yourself the chance to reach the same conclusion as I--and quite literally all who know her--have."

He released her hands then and stiffened into his full, commanding pose. "Nevertheless, I am obligated to remind you that whether your opinion ever alters, Elizabeth is my wife, and as such she commands respect and honor. This fact is incontrovertible. Secondly, all areas of my life are beyond your purview. We wish for you to be welcomed in our home and to know our child, but you must understand that you have no power or control therein. Thirdly, Mrs. Darcy is owed an honorable and honest apology, as am I. Your actions have been unthinkable, Lady Catherine, and unworthy of the Fitzwilliam name."

He stood, voice softening as he spoke, "Mrs. Darcy and I petition you with heartfelt humility to meditate on these things. If you determine to acquiesce, then we would request yours and Anne's presence at a dinner party we are hosting three days hence. Only family and close friends will be in attendance, and we would very much like to have you there."

Lady Catherine's thoughts or feelings were indecipherable as she sat regally and gazed into space. Darcy concluded, "We shall send a formal invitation on the morrow. Good day, madam." And with an elegant bow, he departed.

Returning to a silent Darcy House, Darcy was emotionally and physically exhausted. His arm and chest ached with a consistent throbbing, and the normally robust Darcy was overcome with fatigue. Elizabeth and the girls, accompanied by the Bennet girls' Aunt Gardiner, Jane, and several others, were out shopping. Darcy retreated to their sitting room and reclined on the chaise to read and consume a light lunch. His next conscious awareness was a tender kiss to his brow and his wife's gentle touch and sweet voice calling his name. Opening bleary eyes and moving his neck, stiff from being in an oddly placed angle as he slumped in the chaise, he spied Lizzy's beautiful face.