Loving Lies (16 page)

“Yes.” The feminine growl had his cock jerking in its own demand. “Oh God, Slade, I missed you. I missed you bad.”

Her hips arched, forcing more of his fingers inside her as whimpering cries left her lips.

“Here, baby.” He brushed her still hand from the anal wand, knowing she had passed the point where she could fuck herself to completion with it. “Let's try this.”

He pulled the toy from her pussy, eased his fingers from her ass despite her cry of protest. “Let me watch it fill your little ass.”

He watched. Tucking it against the flexing entrance, he was consumed by the sight of her struggle to take each progressively larger knob until it was anchored in, no more than half the length disappearing up the little hole.

Her pussy was reddened, flowered open, the tender entrance fluttering in hunger. He shoved his tongue inside it, licking, suckling, consuming the sweetness flowing from it. She arched to him, a strangled scream leaving her throat as she began to orgasm from the hard thrusts of his tongue up the tight little portal.

He was a man possessed. Before the tremors eased from her, he was rising between her thighs, pulling the wand from her ass as he lifted her to him, pressing her knees back to her chest and positioning his cock to take what had remained his alone.

This was the final test of intimacy. Of giving. The trust it took to accept the intrusion here had always fascinated Slade. And no woman had ever taken him there with the hunger Jessie did.

The head popped in as she screamed beneath him, tensing at the sensations as he stretched her further than he had allowed the wand to stretch her. He spread her legs against his shoulders, his gaze going from her face to the impalement of her ass.

“I wish I had brought the dildo in here now,” he growled. “I could push it inside your tight little pussy as I fill your ass. Would you like that, baby? Would you like me fuck you like that?”

Her head tossed, her eyes dark slits beneath her lowered lids as she panted for air.

“It hurts…” she whimpered, her ass flexing around him.

“Should I stop?” He moved to pull back, suddenly afraid he had pressed too far, too fast. God, sometimes it was hard to remember how tender she was, she took everything he gave her so readily.

“No,” she cried out hoarsely. “Please don't stop…please…”

Her head moved back and forth as he felt the struggle to accept him in the spasming of her ass around the head of his erection.

“Do you like the pain, baby?” She liked the edge of pain. He knew that. Nothing severe, nothing extreme, just enough to make the pleasure sweeter.

“Yes,” she gasped, finally easing around him enough to allow him to press forward.

“More?” He gave her another inch, hearing her cries as they shattered around him.

“More.” She was fighting to breathe, her tummy tense, her clit flared to full life between the folds of her slit as she arched closer. “Oh God, Slade. I dreamed…” A tear trickled from her eye. “I dreamed of this. I dreamed and dreamed… Please. Please do it like you did before. Make me burn…”

His control was screwed. He jerked back, flipped her to her stomach before lifting her to her knees and returning to her. He worked his cock in, holding back, forcing himself to take her easier than his body demanded, working his shaft inside her until he filled her, stretched her, burned them both. Her back arched and her whimpering cries for more nearly shattered his control.

It wasn't easy. Not like it had been that first time. He was too hungry. Too deprived of the pleasure of her body. He fucked her like a man demented, digging into her ass with his cock with each thrust, growling, snarling, thrusting harder and deeper until he reached his hand beneath her, plumped her hard little clit and felt her shudder and pulse around him. His own release shot from his cock in blinding streams of hot come that had a shout erupting from his throat. He filled her, marked her, claimed her forever in each pulse of his orgasm as he collapsed over her.

For the first time in five years, the grieving pain in his chest lessened. It did nothing for his hard dick, though.

Chapter Fifteen

 

Jessie thought he would be finished. The violent orgasms that had torn through her body left her wasted on the bed. Unable to move, forget thinking, she drifted in a haze of satiation, certain that sleep was within seconds of arriving.

She hadn't been this tired in years; every bone and muscle in her body was relaxed, sated, weak as a newborn kitten. A smile edged her lips at that thought. Only Slade could do this to her, as much as she hated it.

She heard Slade in the bathroom, water running, something rustling. A second later the mattress dipped and he was filling her again, sliding into the swollen, still violently sensitive tissue of her pussy.

Her eyes widened, instantly caught by his gaze, his tender, cloudy gaze as his hands framed her face and a tight smile pulled at his mouth. The look in his eyes brought tears to hers. Heat and need, not sexual need, but a soul-deep, spirit-core hunger that she knew all too intimately herself.

“I'll be done soon.” His breath broke as she spasmed around him, her hands moving to cover his, too tired to lift her arms to hold him to her. “I just want to hold you like this, feel you holding me. Hold me, Jessie.” He rested his forehead against hers as she forced the energy into her tired arms to move.

She wanted to hold him. Forever. She wanted to feel the warmth of him seeping into her, the strength of him filling her. He was like a drug, one she was hopelessly, helplessly addicted to.

“Shush. No.” His hands gripped hers, holding them against her head. “Not there. Here.” He flexed his hips, pressing deeper, piercing her with a blinding wave of pleasure. “Just hold me, baby. Let me believe it's not just a dream.”

The remnants of grief filled his eyes. Staring at him this close, her vision filled with the gray and black color, she watched the emotions that flickered in their depths.

“Slade.” She protested the remorse she saw there. The possessiveness. “We can't go back…” Her breath broke as his hips flexed again, sending pleasure rushing through her. The engorged crest stroked over the entrance to her womb, pressing, sending flames leaping through the sensitive tissue.

“The past never left,” he whispered, staring into her eyes. His hands moved to frame her face again, his thumb stroking over her lips as his expression twisted into lines of such amazing emotion it filled her soul with warmth. He warmed her. “The past has always been here…” He flexed inside her gently, heatedly. “And here…” He lowered his head, his lips pressing between her breasts, caressing the flesh over her rapidly beating heart. “It's never been gone, baby.”

No, it hadn't been. It had lain inside her, sleeping, dreaming, waiting to awaken in Slade's arms. She knew that. Admitted it. There was no pleasure greater than this, nothing that could warm her from the inside out or fill the lonely places in her soul except Slade.

Tears filled her eyes as he moved inside her, his cock stroking through the tight muscles, slow and easy, sensitizing nerve endings that had lain dormant, awaiting his touch. God, she had missed him. She missed him like sunlight, like heat in the darkest winter. And like spring, the sunlight was back, warming her, cracking the ice and destroying the shields she had built against the pain.

“You left me.” Her breath hitched at the remembered hurt as his body tightened above her. “You didn't want me…”

He jerked above her, his hands tightening on her head as his breath rasped from his chest.

“I wanted you more than I wanted to breathe.” He raised his head, his hips moving against hers, stroking, stealing her mind, cementing her soul to his. “I wanted you until I ached, until my soul broke inside me, Jessie. And I couldn't have you. As much as I wanted you, I couldn't have you.”

Why? She wanted to ask the question, wanted the answers but her body's wants overruled those of her heart. Her legs lifted, gripping Slade's hips as he began to fuck her with slow, easy strokes, the burning pleasure wiping through her senses and sending her spinning toward the sun.

Slow and easy. He didn't take her furiously, he didn't love her desperately. He loved her as he had that first weekend after the first blaze of lust had been fulfilled. He loved her with his lips on hers, his tongue tangling with hers, his hands holding her head still as he gave, and took only her pleasure in turn.

He loved her with his body, working his erection inside her gripping pussy, moaning at the clasp of her as she whimpered wordlessly at the heated stretching. He took her in ways she had never even dreamed of. Staring into her eyes, and as her orgasm washed over her, he lowered his lips to her ear.

“I'll love you until I die…” His body bucked above her as he whispered the words, his own release tearing through him, shuddering through his body and filling the condom she hadn't realized he had donned until that moment.

I'll love you until I die.
So why had he left her and taken another woman with him?

 

Night had settled in, filling the interior of the bedroom with darkness as the curtains blocked the moonlight outside. Slade lay back on the bed, naked, his body covered by Jessie. She was stretched out on his chest, her hair falling down his side, her legs enclosed by his. A treasured weight that he relished as he listened to her breathe.

She had finally collapsed over him less than an hour before, shaking, exhausted by that final climax he had wrung from her straining body. He'd managed to hold onto her as he lifted her to his chest, disposed of the condom then lay back. It was then she sprawled over him, like a kitten determined to hold tight to the bit of territory it called its own.

His lips lifted in a grin as he played with her hair, lowered his head and kissed her forehead. He couldn't stay much longer. Amy's parents had heard the rumors that he was spending time with Jessie again and they were furious. Amy had fed her parents a malicious, bitter story of Slade's fascination with Jessie, and the failure of their marriage because of it. Damn, how had he missed the cold calculation in her? Or maybe he hadn't. He had known she hadn't been emotionally involved with him, it was one of the reasons he had accepted her as a partner on that case. He knew her. And he knew her heart wouldn't become involved. But her parents weren't aware of that.

He knew that before much longer, he wouldn't be able to trust them with Cody, he just hated jerking the boy away from them. Their last link to their daughter. But he wouldn't have Cody's young mind twisted by his grandparents either.

He didn't have much longer to secure Jessie's heart before he was going to have to tell her the truth, and he knew it. Hell, he should have already told her, should have been honest with her from the start rather than letting the years separate them. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and fucking vicious.

“You should be exhausted,” she muttered against his chest, her voice drowsy, almost incoherent.

“And you are exhausted.” He turned until he lay on his side, cuddling her close. “Go to sleep, baby. I have to get up in a bit and head out, I want to know you're dreaming of me when I go.”

She stiffened in his arms, moving to pull away from him.

“I'm not stopping you…”

“No, you're not. I just get lazy as hell after loving you. I've been working on the house at night, trying to get it together again. Five years away and it needs a few repairs before I can move back into it. I'm ready to be home, Jess. It's been a long time.”

“You never sold the house?” She plucked at the growth of hair on his chest, brushing her cheek over it as his body tightened in renewed need.

“You didn't have the money to buy it,” he grunted. “You got my RV, baby. I figured that was enough.”

“You knew I was buying the RV?” She frowned, staring up at him. “Jazz said you would never know.”

Slade's gaze was hooded, brooding. “Jazz didn't need another fucking RV. That pervert lair is all he can handle. I knew who had it, who was living in it. You'd have had the house too if you wanted it.”

Shock rifled through her as she shook her head in confusion. “You make as much sense as Jazz does anymore,” she snapped. “If you cared so fucking much, why did you leave?”

And there was the crux of the matter. He had walked back into her life as though he belonged in it, as though she belonged to him. Not that she was achieving the fight she had always promised herself she would put up.

“We're going to discuss that one real soon.” He sighed, his hand moving absently through her hair. “Not tonight, because there's just not enough time. But real, real soon, baby.”

Real soon wasn't enough for her, he could see it in her eyes. She was getting past the pain and she was getting ready to demand answers. Those answers weren't going to be easy.

“You could sleep here.” She stared up at him, her hesitancy obvious in her eyes. “We could talk.”

Slade brushed her hair back, the back of his fingers prickling in pleasure at the feel of the silken strands.

“Not yet,” he whispered gently. “Soon.”

She wasn't concealing her hurt as easily as she thought she was. Moving back, she rose from the bed, drawing her robe over her naked body and belting it tightly.

“Whatever.” She shrugged negligently, her pretense that it didn't matter biting into his anger, reminding him that he deserved it, even though he hated it. “It's up to you.”

Slade suppressed his sigh. He couldn't leave Cody with his grandparents all night, as much as he wanted to. The weekends were hard enough. The boy worried incessantly when Slade didn't show up by bedtime, always concerned something had happened to his daddy, too.

He was going to have to explain things to Jessie. He had already waited too long, and he had no intention of hiding Cody.