Loving Julia (21 page)

A light rug had been left folded on the back of one of the chairs to ward off the occasional chill, and Julia compromised by spreading that over him. There were no pillows that she could see, but the coat he had discarded earlier was thrown casually over yet another chair. Catching the garment up, she held it in her hands for a moment and pictured it covering broad shoulders and muscular arms. Then she folded it with scant regard for the delicate fabric and placed it beneath his head. He snored on without so much as the flicker of a surprisingly long eyelash as she positioned his head on the makeshift pillow. Julia stood up, looking down at him for a long moment with a faint smile on her face. When she had first made the acquaintance of the elegant, arrogant Earl of Moorland, she had never in the furthest reaches of her imagination dreamed that in the course of a few short months she would see him like this.

Still smiling, she blew him a kiss and let herself out of the room. Already she was tingling in anticipation of the morrow; she would be Sebastian’s love as well as his friend….

She woke late the next morning. The sun was shining through the open curtains, which Julia knew meant that Emily had been in the room. She stretched luxuriously against the pillows, glad to be alone. She felt marvelously, wonderfully alive. Even the faint ache between her thighs felt good to her. Because of Sebastian. It was proof that she belonged to Sebastian.

A creak of the door hinges heralded Emily’s return. Julia sat up in bed, shaking her head to clear the last traces of sleep from it, and smiled at her maid.

“Good morning, Miss Julia,” Emily said composedly as she saw that her mistress was awake at last. “Shall I bring your chocolate now?”

“Yes, please, Emily. Oh, and I’d like a bath this morning, please.” Julia was already climbing out of bed and crossing to the window to look out at the sun sparkling off the thin crust of frost that had covered the ground during the night. It was the first frost of the season, and it made her faintly sad to see it. Already summer was over, and fall was here.

Pulling the folds of the wrapper closer about her (not the one she had worn the night before) she turned back into the room to find that Emily had disappeared again. When the girl returned moments later with her breakfast of chocolate and rolls, Julia was surprised to find herself ravenous. Because of all the unaccustomed exercise of the night before, she thought with an inward giggle, and fell upon the meal with relish.

The bath was readied while she ate. She dismissed Emily for the first time in months, finding that she was newly shy about anyone seeing her nakedness after the events of the night. Sebastian, in making her body his, had changed it into something entirely new, something that she was not even totally familiar with herself. Besides, her native practicality warned, there might be some mark upon her skin that would betray her new state. It felt as though there should be—she was full of aches in the most unexpected places, she discovered as she climbed into the tub and washed herself vigorously from head to toe. Rubbing the rose scented soap that she had come to love into her hair, wanting the strands to be shining and sweet smelling for Sebastian, she hummed one of the gay little dance tunes that he had taught her, pausing from time to time to smile tenderly as she recalled dancing in his arms. If she had known then how wonderful it would feel to be utterly his, they would never have gotten any dancing done at all. The idea set her to giggling again. She giggled and blushed and soaped her arms and legs and wondered how he would like the scent of roses. At the idea that she would certainly find out, she blushed and dreamed some more.

Last night she had washed the physical signs from her body in the cold water left in the washstand before she had gone to bed. At the first sight of her virgin’s blood staining her legs and her clothes, she had been a little dismayed. Had he hurt her in some way? But after a life spent in the gutters of London, there was little she had not been exposed to. She had seen young girls sold to old madames to be used for the pleasure of men, and wondered at the high prices they brought until it was crudely explained to her that they were new merchandise and thus highly valued by clients. So Julia knew about virgins and virginity, and after a brief moment’s pause had sponged the blood away without fearing she was injured or dying as so many young girls did. She had put on a fresh nightgown and hidden the ruined nightgown and wrapper, then climbed into bed to think dreamily of Sebastian until at last she fell asleep.

Her bath water having grown cold, Julia returned her thoughts to practical matters and stepped out of the tub.

Wrapping her hair and her body in towels, she padded to the wardrobe. Today she would choose what she would wear, something that would make her look her most beautiful for Sebastian.

“You look wonderful, miss,” Emily said with sincerity some time later as she styled Julia’s hair. Julia sat at her dressing table looking into the mirror.

“Thank you, Emily,” she responded with real gratitude, and smiled at the maid through the glass.

In truth, she thought, looking at her reflection, she did look good. Emily had piled her black hair high on her head in an elegant style that bared the nape of her neck so that it looked impossibly long and slender. Her eyes sparkled like topazes beneath the silky black wings of her brows, and her matte white skin had just the faintest blush of color as it stretched over the high cheekbones that gave her face its unusual claim to beauty.

The months of good living she had enjoyed had changed her past all recognition, she decided, noting how straight and slender her nose was above full, well shaped lips that needed no crushed rose petals rubbed over them to provide their rich mauve color. Even the black dress became her. She had chosen one of elegant striped silk today, with leg-of-mutton sleeves and demure high neckline ornamented with a simple cameo (a gift from Sebastian) at the base of her throat. In the severe dress with its tight bodice and full skirt she looked the very picture of a lady. Julia smiled tentatively at herself in the mirror. It was hard to believe that the beautiful young woman who smiled back was herself.

“Can I get you anything else, Miss Julia?” Emily stood back to survey her handiwork with obvious pride. Julia took one final look in the mirror, then stood up.

“No, thank you, Emily, that will be all,” she said.

Emily dropped her a quick curtsy before leaving the room. Julia, following more slowly, marvelled at how quickly she had become accustomed to being the mistress of servants, to giving orders and being waited on. But as she descended the stairs into the great hall, nervousness drove every other thought from her head. Soon she would see Sebastian. What would he say? At the memory of what they had done together, bright color crept into her cheeks, and her eyes sparkled. What could one say after a night like that? She didn’t have the least idea, but she devoutly hoped Sebastian did.

“Good morning, Johnson.” She greeted him with a beaming smile as she stepped down into the hall. Then, recalling the last time she had seen Johnson and realizing the suspicions he couldn’t help but have after the way Sebastian must have been discovered this morning, she felt another rush of color to her cheeks. Her eyes quickly inspected Johnson’s face. His answering smile was warm and held no hint that he had any inkling of how much her world had changed since she had last spoken with him.

“Good morning, Miss Julia. A very fine morning, if I may say so.”

“You certainly may.” Julia couldn’t seem to repress her gaiety. Soon the whole world would know that she belonged to Sebastian. Even if there was no public announcement, she would not be able to keep the shining joy out of her eyes whenever she looked at him.

“Is his lordship about yet this morning?” No matter how carefully she phrased the question, Julia still found that her cheeks were pinkening again.

“He went riding, miss. He’s been gone about two hours, so he should be back soon.”

“Oh.”

“If you don’t need anything, Miss Julia, I’ll be about my work now.”

“Oh, yes. I mean, no, I don’t need anything, Johnson.”

The butler bowed and took himself off. Julia walked slowly down the length of the hall, chewing lightly at her lower lip. She had been all keyed up for her encounter with Sebastian, and it was something of an anticlimax to find that he had gone riding on this of all mornings. It was something he did nearly every day, but somehow she had expected that today would be different.

Reaching the end of the hall, she turned back toward the stairs. Vaguely she was aware of a footman and then a maid scurrying across her path as they went about their duties, but she hardly registered them. She would go crazy if she hung about the house waiting for Sebastian’s return. She was much better off in the open air herself, with something active to do. She would go for a walk, and by the time she returned he would almost certainly be back.

Julia lifted a hand to the little maid who was busy polishing the oak banister, and the girl stopped what she was doing and came across to her, dropping a curtsy and looking nervous. Julia smiled to set her at ease, then sent her in search of Emily with instructions for Emily to bring her cloak. The maid hurried off, and in no time Julia was bundled up in the warm hooded cloak of tightly woven alpaca that Miss Soames had sent over as the weather grew colder.

It was cold out, the heather was crisp beneath the little kid boots that buttoned up to her ankles. Her breath hung in the air like puffs of white smoke, and her nose was soon chilled at the tip. She wandered around the topiary garden admiring the living sculptures of beasts. It took one gardner working full time to keep the shrubs so perfectly shaped, but Julia didn’t see him around anywhere today. Her eyes lifted to the rooms that made up Chloe’s suite, but there was no movement at the curtained windows. After the tumultuous events of the previous night, the child was very likely still asleep.

Julia wandered around the perimeter of the north wing of the house, a frown creasing her brow as she thought about Chloe. Obviously Sebastian terrified the child. But why? Last night Sebastian had still refused to discuss the subject. Julia’s face lightened briefly as she considered what they had done instead. He had certainly managed to distract her from the subject, she thought with a quick smile. But not forever. She still wanted to talk to him about Chloe, and sooner or later she would.

A curricle was standing in front of the entry, Julia saw with surprise as she rounded the edge of the north wing so that she could see the front of the house. Did that mean visitors? She hated to think so. So much had to be said between her and Sebastian, visitors would be very much in the way. Besides, who knew if they would accept her? Julia felt suddenly very uncertain. As much as she now felt like a lady, who knew if she would pass muster with outsiders? Would she be scorned, or worse, secretly laughed at? During the months she had lived practically alone with Sebastian at White Friars, the thought of confronting the world in her new guise had seemed far away, and thus had not worried her. Now she was worried. Not so much for herself but for Sebastian. Desperately she wanted him not to be ashamed of her.

She moved toward the curricle, not sure whether to go inside and greet the guests or to slink away and return later. But she could not hide forever; besides, the very idea was ridiculous. She knew the proper thing to do was to go inside and be very composed but gracious. That was what Julia Stratham would do. And she was Julia Stratham.

Julia lifted her chin and was proceeding toward the front steps when something began to niggle at the back of her mind. That curricle looked extremely familiar. She looked again It was black and shiny with overly large wheels and a natty leather interior. A matched pair of bays was harnessed to it, and the little man who stood at their heads looked very familiar indeed. Julia had not seen much of him since she had arrived at White Friars, but she had no trouble recognizing him. It was Jenkins.

The equipage was Sebastian’s. She stared, then hurried toward it just as Leister came down the stairs with a large leather valise in hand and placed it in the curricle. A footman appeared on the steps, holding the door wide while another ran down to open the door of the curricle. The footman and the valet stood waiting as Sebastian himself appeared, clad in his buff colored, many caped driving coat that swung open over tan breeches and dark blue, elegantly tailored coat. From the toes of his polished boots to the waves of silver-gilt hair, this was very much the arrogant earl. Julia watched in disbelief as he descended the steps, Johnson trailing in his wake.

“Sebastian!” He was near the bottom step when she called out to him and hurried forward. All eyes swung toward her, from the celestial blue ones she had come to know so well to Johnson’s worried ones. Julia didn’t care if there was an audience of thousands. She picked up her skirts and practically ran the short distance to the foot of the stairs, where she stood looking up at Sebastian. Meeting his eyes, she was suddenly wordless.

“Good morning, Julia.” His voice was cool, composed, as if she were a chance-met acquaintance in whom he had no real interest. She stared up at him, eyes widening with disbelief. Was it possible that he had forgotten the momentous thing that had occurred between them in the library the night before? He had after all been drinking heavily. She studied his expression for a clue, noting the way the cold white sunlight bathed his features in a harsh glow that revealed every tiny flaw. On him the tiny lines radiating from the corners of his eyes and the faint creases bracketing the perfectly carved mouth just added character. His eyes met hers, and their very lack of expression gave her the answer. He remembered perfectly well. If he hadn’t, he would never have looked at her like that.

“Are you going somewhere, Sebastian?” Her voice was thin. Something was very wrong.

He resumed descending the steps until he stood beside her. Julia was once again surprised by how tall he was as she tilted her head back to look up at him. The hood of her cloak obscured her vision and she pushed it back without a care for the elegant hairstyle that she had admired with such pleasure less than an hour before.