Loving Jay (13 page)

I looked around and counted two wardrobes and two sets of drawers as well as an old-fashioned vanity table with light bulbs edging the mirror like a backstage dressing room. But something was missing. I turned around, trying to work out what it was. Jay had found his lost item and was holding out a gray tube. I ignored him and swept my gaze around the room.

“Uhh… no bed? Where do you sleep?”

He chuckled. “Oh, this is just my dressing room. I have another room for sleeping and all my other stuff.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Other stuff? Dressing room?”

He placed his arm on my shoulder. “Daahling. This room is just for my clothes. I have an entire bathroom full of makeup and beauty products as well as a room for my bed, computer, books, and music. Do I really look like a minimalist decorator to you?”

My mind boggled at the thought of how much gear Jay had accumulated in his short life and I took the gray tube off him without thinking. I focused on it. “Moisturizer?”

Jay plucked it out of my hands, and before I could protest, he had popped the lid, squeezed some white cream out, and was smoothing it across my cheeks. I stood still, enjoying the closeness of Jay’s body and the feel of his fingers across my skin. “This is great stuff. And I bought the man-cream for you because I know you would go all funny over a tube for women. But it’s just the same. Now you just need to put it on your face and your neck twice a day and your skin will practically glow! It’s suitable for your skin after you have shaved… mmm… your freshly shaved skin here is giving me shivers and all sorts of ideas I shouldn’t really be having about you. So just make sure you put it on in an upward direction like this. And when you have seen how great your skin will be, I will introduce you to the next one. Toner! I’m sure you will love it. And if you have some time one day maybe I can do a facial mask on you and maybe a bit of plucking….”

I pulled away out of his reach. “Jay, stop! Seriously? You think I’m going to let you pluck anything on me?”

“Just a few hairs. It doesn’t hurt much at all. I won’t do a full wax or anything.”

I shuddered. “I appreciate it, dude. But it’s not me, if you know what I mean?” Jay pouted and I couldn’t resist his cute puppy-dog eyes. “Okay! I’ll think about it. Just give me the damn cream to use for now and I’ll get back to you on the other stuff.”

The slamming of a door and raised voices cut short our conversation and Jay grinned like an idiot. “The rest of the family is here. Come and meet them.”

In a flurry of “hellos” and introductions I met Jay’s oldest sister, Jacey, and her husband, Trevor, along with their daughters, Tabitha and Erin.

Miss Sour-Puss Jackie watched with an expression of world-weariness, so I shot her a smirk. “Really? Your mother called you kids Jacey, Jackie, and Jamie and you give
me
crap for the William-Liam scenario?”

She was saved from answering when a querulous voice, raised over the cacophony, asked, “Now where is this heroic savior I have heard so much about?”

Jay raced over and engulfed a tiny, wizened old lady leaning heavily on a wooden walking stick. “Grandma!” I watched her wrinkled smile crack the large grooves in her face as she embraced her grandson. I could see the obvious affection she held for Jay. Even Jackie unwound enough to greet her grandmother and give her a kiss.

Jay guided her forward and formally introduced me. “Grandma, this is Liam Turner who saved my unworthy butt from goons the other night. Liam, I am proud to introduce you to my grandmother, Lacey Berris.”

I held out my hand and it was gripped by a surprisingly firm arthritic hand. “Good to meet you, boy. You can just call me Grandma like the rest of them. Now help me over to that chair and sit beside me so I can interrogate you.” She cackled and I had to laugh as I helped her sit. She waved the rest of the family away and we sat in relative privacy as she turned her sharp eyes on me.

“Why did you do it, boy?”

“Uhh… do what?”

“Run in there and save my grandson’s butt?”

I was confused. “Should I have just left him to be beaten up?”

“Jamie tells me there were dozens of others who did. Why did you involve yourself?”

I clasped my hands together and stared at the floor. “To be truthful, I didn’t mean to. I mean, it wasn’t a conscious decision. I just recognized Jay and next thing I knew I was over there pushing those idiots away from Jay. They were hurting him and I just reacted instinctively.”

Grandma sat contemplating me for a moment. Those faded but sharp eyes missed nothing. “You don’t look like a fool.”

“Uhh… thanks?”

“Do you like my grandson?”

“Sure. He’s great. Completely wacky and suffers from a bad case of verbal diarrhea—his description, not mine—but he’s a good sort. No malice or anger in him.”

She nodded and took my hand in hers, turning it over and running her gnarled fingers over my palm. “You don’t seem like one of those useless twinks that Jamie has brought home in the past.”

Well, shit. What the hell can I say to that?
“No, ma’am.”

“What do you do for a living, boy?”

“I studied Accounting. I need to go and do my training, but for now I’m working in the Finance Department of BHP.”

“Do you live with your parents?”

“No, ma’am. I bought an apartment in the new development over near the train station.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“I’m the fourth of five boys.”

“Hmm.” She nodded and smoothed her hand over my palm again. “So what are you planning to do with your life? Do you want kids?”

I choked on air.
Kids?
“I haven’t really thought about it. I guess so. But what kid would want a cripple for a father? I can’t run and jump around a football field. A kid needs a father who can do things like that.”

The wrinkled skin where Grandma’s eyebrows used to be rose up, heading toward her shock of white hair. “What kid wants a cripple for a father? I bet you a kid that has no father would. I bet you a kid whose biological father beats her and drinks himself into a stupor would. There are many children out there in foster care that need adoption, my boy. Being a so-called cripple like you or a gay fairy like Jay is nothing to them. They just want someone to love them.”

Carol called us for dinner then, and we all gathered around the table, squeezed in to enjoy our meal. It was delicious, and conversation kept to a minimum for three minutes. Then Erin, who was only three, dumped her plate on the floor and it broke the trance the family was obviously under. Within two ticks of the clock it was clear to me that those three minutes at the beginning of the meal was the family putting on their best manners.

A royal hullabaloo ensued as everyone began to talk at once, simultaneously carrying on two separate conversations each.

“Oh, Jacey. I wish you could teach your daughter better manners.”

“Shut up, Jackie. After you have had your YOLO moment and find out you are pregnant to six different guys at the same time, you’ll find out how hard it is.”

“YOLO? What’s that?”

“Pregnant? Who’s pregnant?”

“Mummy! Tabitha poked me!”

“You Only Live Once. YOLO.”

“How can I get pregnant to six guys at once?”

“This is a great meal, Carol. Much better than last time.”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll invent a way.”

“I’m not pregnant. I use birth control, unlike some people.”

“Mummy! Erin spilt my drink!”

“Yes, I used that proper cheese this time.”

“Tabitha! Don’t poke your sister.”

“Yeah, Jackie. You are so going to get pregnant.”

“I’ll get a cloth.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Mummy!”

“I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about birth control.”

“YOLO? How stupid.”

“Did I tell you what happened to Mae?”

“She’s not pregnant, is she?”

It was like being in some sort of alien world. I watched the conversation bounce around me with fascination. I was from a large family, but this was ridiculous. No wonder Jay was crazy. I felt a tap on my arm and turned to Trevor seated beside me.

“It’s like watching a car crash, isn’t it? You just can’t look away.” His voice was low enough to not carry. I realized he had been sitting there eating his meal while the world around him exploded. Jackie was on her feet, trying to get her point across, Jay was swinging his fork wildly around, and Grandma was stomping her walking stick on the ground for emphasis. No one paid Trevor or me the tiniest bit of attention.

“Are they… always like this?”

He scooped another mouthful of lasagna and nodded sadly. “I’m so glad you are here, though. Tell me, do you watch AFL?”

Jacey screeched as Jackie insulted her, Grandma pointed a bent finger at Tabitha, and Carol gestured as she told an improbable story about a friend who had just fallen pregnant at fifty. I did my best to tune them out as Trevor and I discussed coaching styles and injuries to our favorite players.

The mayhem continued through dessert, with the Jackie/Jacey/Jamie combination barely pausing for breath. Things were a bit quieter as the dishes were done and the two-conversations-at-once brigade was confined to the kitchen while Grandma napped in a big comfy chair. Trevor and I were given babysitting duties in the lounge room and were thankfully exempt from cleaning up.

Finally Erin crawled onto her father’s lap and began to nod off, too, so Trevor called his family together, gathered up Grandma, and departed. Jacey’s parting comment was something about Jackie needing to be checked for syphilis, which blew Jackie’s temper sky-high and she stormed away in her car. I was feeling like a couple of shots of scotch would be welcome, when Jay turned to me.

“Oops. Sorry. I should’ve warned you, huh?”

My ears were ringing from the sudden lack of noise. “Ahh… yeah. Umm.”

He squeezed my arm. “Just give me a sec to grab my keys and I’ll get you out of here. Mum! I’m taking Liam home, now. Mum?”

I thanked Carol for dinner and was invited to come back anytime. I am not sure how I managed to not say, “Hell, no!” but Carol didn’t take offence at my nonanswer mumble. I guess I’m exaggerating a bit. The meal was nice and everyone was very nice, but I wasn’t prepared for the noise. I guess next time I would be.

Next time?

D
AISY
BORE
me home in her gay style and Jay parked on the street near my apartment entrance. I furiously hoped she would get stolen so I wouldn’t have to take another trip in her. But I knew that even thieves had levels that they did not sink to.

“Umm…. Did you want to come up for some coffee?” The invitation was out of my mouth before I could think of the ramifications.

“Definitely! I wanna check out your man-pad.” He was out of the car and around to my side before I could even take my belt off. “What floor do you live on? Do you have a view?”

We walked to the entrance together, me trying not to limp, Jay practically bouncing on his toes with excitement. He rattled on about house prices and how hard it was to afford a place in Perth’s economy as we rode the lift up to the third floor. I unlocked my apartment, ushered him inside, and flicked the light switch on as I entered.

“Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, total wow.”

My mother hated my apartment, but I loved it. I had decorated it in monochrome—not just black and white, but more dark browns and soft creams. All the pieces of furniture were either black or dark brown, the carpet and tiles of the kitchen were cream, even the full-length curtains across the windows were beige. Not a single lick of color in my living space. I had kept the pictures on the wall to a minimum—a couple of black-and-white prints and a single sepia-toned photo of me and my brothers, which had been taken at Dale’s wedding.

I made my way to the kitchen to put the kettle on to boil. “I can offer you instant coffee, tea, or a hot Milo. What do you want, Jay?” A chocolate drink made from Milo was the closest I could get to his usual mocha.

“Milo.”

The reply came from the direction of the bedrooms. I had two bedrooms—one for sleeping and one where I kept my computer. I didn’t mind Jay poking around, but smiled as I imagined his reaction to my bedroom. I didn’t have to wait long.

“Oh. My. Gawd.” I flicked on the kettle’s switch, left it to boil, and chuckled as I made my way toward his voice. My living-room-cum-kitchen had exactly zero color. My bedroom, however, had one giant splash of red in the form of a rich, ruby-red, satin quilt cover across my king-size bed. The material was orgasmically delicious across naked skin, and I loved it.

Jay was standing in my doorway staring. I nudged him. “Go on. Try it. Just take your shoes off first.”

Jay didn’t hesitate, toeing off his black tennis shoes and slithering across the acres of satin before resting up against the pillows. He moved his arms and legs back and forth as if making a snow angel. “Oh, man. This is dee-vine!”

I laughed out loud. The divine part was the vision of Jay in my bed at last. He looked great against the red. Not that he was “in” my bed. But it was close.

“Great, huh?” I toed off my own shoes and jumped on the bed, sliding against the slippery material for half the length before coming to rest against Jay’s legs. He giggled. I chortled along with him, saying, “You should try it just wearing satin boxers one day. I can slide the entire length of the bed and fall off the other side.”