Loving His Forever (5 page)

“You ready, love?” He reaches for and grabs my hand with a small smile on his face.

Biting my lip, I nod slightly. He tugs on my hand and leads me to the front door. This is it. It’s been years since I’ve been out to eat. Ethan’s house has become a comfort and safety net. I’m going so far out of my comfort zone.

He locks the door behind him but never let’s go of my hand as he leads me to his big, red truck. His police car is parked in the driveway beside the truck. I look at my surroundings nervously as Ethan opens the truck door and helps me up inside. But he doesn’t close the door, so I turn to look at him. He stands in front of my open door and lifts his hand to cup my cheek.

“I’m so proud of you, Angel. I can see the fear written all over your face. Know you’re safe with me. Always.” He leans forward and my eyes widen. My body stiffens to stone. My eyes follow his movement. He presses his warm lips to my forehead tenderly. My heart starts pounding out of my chest.

Ethan backs away and shuts the door then gets in the driver’s side. I tuck my hands under my knees as I think about what the heck just happened. The kiss on the forehead was totally innocent. Starting that first night, Ethan has ended up in bed with me from my nightmares every night, because as soon as he leaves, I wake up screaming again. Ethan holding me chases away those demons.

Ethan starts his truck and looks over at me. “You sure you’re ready for this?” he asks. I nod and give him the biggest smile I can muster. Ethan’s mouth falls open for a second and lets out a small hiss that I can barely hear. Confused, I start to ask what’s wrong, but he turns away from me.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before I ask, “How was work today?” I look over at him for a second before looking out of the windshield.

“The same ol’, same ol’. Some fucker was hitting his woman today in a store because she was trying to leave him.” He tightens his hands on the steering wheel, making the leather creak from his tight grip.

My throat tightens at the thought of a woman having to go through that. I wish I could help her. Nobody deserves to go through something like that.

“What happened to the man?” I ask anxiously.

“He’s in jail, but he will probably be out by tonight.” He shakes his head angrily.

“I hope she gets away,” I whisper, lost in thought.

“Me too, Angel.” He grabs my hand and presses a kiss on the back.

A few minutes later, we pull up in front of a steak house. “I’ll help you out.” He slams his door shut before I can suggest otherwise.

Twisting in my seat, I open the door. Ethan’s raises a hand for me to take. I look at it for a second before my small hand goes into his warm calloused one.

“You ready for this, Brae?” he asks me one last time. He searches my face, looking for any doubt, but I don’t have any. I’ve got to do this.

“No, Ethan, but I need to do this.”

He smirks at me. “Well, let’s go then.” His hand goes to the small of my back, and I lean into his side protectively as he leads me through the parking lot to the front entrance.

People exit as soon as we reach the door. A man accidently brushes me. I stiffen and close my eyes. Ethan pulls me tighter against him and out of the man’s way.

He opens the door, and we walk into the darkly lit restaurant that smells like steaks and fried things; that smell alone has me starving. I want to put on all the pounds I can so I don’t look so sickly; I never want to be this small again.

The waitress looks up at us and grabs two menus. “Table for two?” She’s really pretty, and I can’t help but notice the way she is staring at Ethan. Licking my lips, I look up at Ethan nervously, and much to my surprise, he’s not staring at her but at me. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. I watch as the lady in front of us looks at me funny. I know what she’s thinking. Why is someone like that standing beside someone like me?

“This way,” she tells us and walks toward the back of the restaurant. Ethan tucks me closely to his side again. The eyes that stare at us as we pass have my mind on alert. I’m scared, and on top of that, I feel self-conscious to the point I want to run back outside and hide in the truck. Ethan’s hand curls tighter around my waist, almost like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I bite my lip nervously in an effort to distract myself from these thoughts.

“Relax, baby, I got you.” Ethan’s warm breath tickles my ear as he reassures me. The lady motions us toward a booth and sets the menus on the table. Ethan lets go of me, and I feel exposed instantly.

He sits down in front of me. I can feel him watching me, but I don’t look up as I pick up the menu. My hands shake so bad I can barely get my menu open, let alone hold it straight.

“Braelyn.”

I peek over the menu at him. I am so scared right now. People are staring at me, and every time someone walks by, I jump out of my skin.

“Want me to come sit beside you?” he asks softly as he senses my fear. Weakly, I nod my head and scoot farther into the booth, feeling immensely relieved but kind of ashamed of myself for depending on someone like this.

He scoots his menu in the place where I was just sitting and silently sits beside me. He is blocking the stares, and I relax into the back of my seat.

Ethan grabs my hand and slides it into his lap. Closing my eyes, I drop my head to his shoulder. I feel so safe around him. His presence alone comforts me, and I don’t know what to make of it.

“Thank you, Ethan,” I sigh out loud and sit back up in my seat.

He turns his head to look at me. “Anything for you, Angel.” He raises his hand and strokes his thumb over my cheekbone.

Blushing, I grab the menu again, busying myself. I decide on a burger and set the menu back down onto the table, then look around the restaurant. People are laughing, smiling, and being carefree. What would that be like?

“Angel, tell me about your childhood?” Ethan moves my hair over my shoulder to get my attention.

“My childhood wasn’t great either,” I whisper to him. My heart is suddenly heavy with sadness. I miss my mom, even though she didn’t show me she cared about me or did anything to protect me. My dad was her world, even though he beat the shit out of her and then turned to me because I was a little whore at the age of ten. I busted my butt to get a full-ride scholarship so I could get out. And what good did that do me?

Ethan huffs out angrily. His anger used to scare me but not anymore. I stare at the table in front of me, not wanting to look at him, unwilling to see the pity buried deeply in his eyes.

He digs his fingers into my side, and I bust out laughing. Smacking my hand over my mouth, I look at Ethan, shocked. He grins evilly and then proceeds to tickle me. Unable to hold it in, I laugh again. I squirm as I try to move his hands away. Tears start to trickle down my face.

“You guys ready to order?” the waitress interrupts us, scaring me. I jump and sit up straight.

She looks at me, waiting for me to tell her what I want. I clear my throat then answer in a surprisingly strong voice, “I’ll have a burger with everything and some steak fries, please.”

Ethan squeezes my knee to let me know he’s proud. Smiling, I look down at my lap, happy he’s proud of me. It may not be something many people would be proud of, but it’s something to me.

“I’ll have the same,” Ethan tells her while picking up both of our menus and handing them back to her.

He tells me about his mom, his life in the Marines, small talk to pass the time. I just take everything in. How did I go from living on the streets to eating in a steak house with a man who makes me feel safe?

Safe is such a strong felling; it’s like being wrapped in a blanket straight out of the dryer. I want to soak it into my entire being. Being scared all the time is horrible, but Ethan changed that, made me realize not every man is bad. A smile breaks out across my face at the thought of what my life will be like in a month.

Ethan

That smile. My heart feels like it skipped a beat. I know that makes me sound like a pussy, but it’s true. Braelyn tears at my heartstrings and breaks it into a million fucking pieces at the same time.

She is so scared of the world. I can see the fear written all over her, from her stiff posture to her eyes. God, her eyes are a killer. They’re so damn beautiful but kill because you can see all the pain in them. I want nothing more than to take that pain away.

Hearing her scream in the middle of the night will haunt me for the rest of my life. How could someone hurt someone so innocent? If I ever meet the motherfucker and her father, I’ll kill them both; being a cop be damned. There are special places in hell for those people.

Braelyn has such a huge heart and a great personality. I can see it sometimes when she lets go. She lets go at home a little more each day. When I came to sit beside her and she immediately calmed down, I wanted to beat my chest like a fucking caveman. I want nothing more than for her to feel safe and be safe.

Braelyn may think she’s weak, but a person who’s been through what she has been through isn’t weak. She’s a fighter. She hasn’t had a chance at life from being beaten down by her father; then when she did have a chance at something, the man who raped her took everything she had left and left her hollow.

She is still smiling at me. Raising my hand, I cup her neck, wanting nothing more than to claim her mouth with mine. To show her I want her so fucking bad I ache, but she comes first. In time, it will happen.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” I whisper to her, my mouth close to hers, my eyes on her lips. I watch in satisfaction as her eyes widen and a deep blush covers her cheeks.

Dropping my hand, I grab hers and entwine our fingers. Unable to resist, I stroke my thumb across her hand. She relaxes into my side then lays her head on my shoulder.

It’s taking everything in me not to pull her into my lap and hold her. What the fuck is happening to me? I never felt like this before, let alone had these thoughts. She brings the sappiness out of me.

With her blond hair, brown eyes, and pouty lips she’s taken over everything. She brings out the primal instincts in me to the point I want to lay out every single motherfucker in this place just for looking at her. That man earlier didn’t accidentally brush by her. Nah, he did it on purpose because he was checking out her tits. I almost went nuclear.

The waitress interrupts my thoughts as she sets the food on the table before us. I can feel her eyes on me, but she’s not even a blip on my radar.

Braelyn

As we walk back into the house after dinner, I feel proud of myself because I didn’t freak out. Well, not much anyway. Baby steps. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like there’s a chance I could live a semi normal life again.

“Angel, want to rent a movie?” Ethan asks me as he drops the keys on the counter.

“Sure.” I smile at him and walk up the stairs to change.

I walk into the closet and pull out some shorts and a loose tee. Grabbing a hair tie, I pull my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head. When I walk back downstairs, Ethan is sitting on the couch. I stop at the entrance, feeling nervous all of a sudden. But I take the plunge and walk over to sit beside him then prop my feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Ethan puts his arm around me and pulls me closer into his side. Snuggling my face more into his shoulder, I bite back a smile.

The title of the movie starts and I almost groan. Please, don’t let it only be fighting the whole entire time. Ethan laughs when he sees my reaction. We sit in silence through the movie, cuddling and enjoying just being.

Swaying wakes me from my sleep. I crack one tired eye open and look up. Ethan is carrying me up the steps. Wrapping my arm around his neck, I hold on tighter. He pushes my slightly cracked door open and lays me gently on the bed.

Not letting go of his shirt, I pull him onto the bed with me. I don’t want him to go. He gently pushes me onto my side and pulls me back so his front is to my back. His arm wrapped around my middle holds me tightly to him. Closing my eyes, I fall asleep with a smile on my face, sleeping through the whole night with no nightmares.

Two weeks later

It seems everything in my life has changed during these past two weeks. I’m not so scared anymore. Ethan takes me somewhere every other day so I can get used to being out.

Ethan. He’s amazing, tender, caring, and so much more. Each day I grow closer to him, because with him I don’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells.

“Wake up, Angel!” I can hear Ethan run into the room before he pulls the blanket off the bed. Not moving, I slow my breathing so it looks like I’m dead, relaxing my body so I’m weightless if he tries to move me. I can feel him standing beside me, staring.

“Braelyn, wake up.” He shakes my shoulder. My head rolls to the side.

“Angel?” he says again while picking up my hand and dropping it on the bed. He shakes my shoulder again, trying to wake me. I’m dying on the inside, wanting to laugh.

“I swear to God, Braelyn, this isn’t funny!” His voice cracks, and I start to feel bad.

He grabs my hands and lifts me to a sitting position. My body is limp and my head is leaning down toward my lap. He lets go of my hands in hope I’d show a reaction. I fall to the side with my head buried into the sheets and my body at an unnatural position.