Loving (30 page)

Ollie took them to the airport, and he waved long and hard as Alexander reluctantly wandered toward the plane. He blew a kiss to Bettina, and then he left the airport and went home and got roaring drunk. But Bettina didn't have the same luxury. She had to be sober to face John. She hadn't sent him a note to warn him that she was arriving, and she hadn't even warned Mary and Seth. She wanted to surprise everyone, And their bags were filled with Christmas presents for John, Mary, and Seth, and all the kids.

The weather was mild and gentle when they reached the airport. It was five thirty in the afternoon. They found a cab that would take them to Mill Valley and they both got in. Alexander was beginning to get very excited. He was finally going to see his Daddy, after three long months. And he was going to tell him all about New York, and the zoo, and his friends, and what they had done in school. He hopped all over Bettina, and she grinned stoically as he elbowed and kneed her, preparing all that he was going to say.

It seemed forever before they pulled into the familiar driveway, and Bettina couldn't repress a smile. It did feel good to be home. The driver began to unload their luggage, and Bettina went to open the front door. But when she inserted the key in the lock, she found that her key would no longer fit. She turned it one way, then the other, pushed the door, jiggled the doorknob and then she looked up in astonishment, understanding what had happened. John had changed the locks. It seemed a very childish trick.

In a state of stupefaction Bettina hurried next door. She had paid the driver and told him to just push the bags into the garage. So she took Alexander by the hand and they crossed the backyard. She knocked on Mary's back door.

"Oh, my God! ... Betty!" She took her quickly into her arms, and then Alexander, who was being loudly welcomed by his friends. "Oh, have I missed you!" And then she called out behind her. "Seth! They're back." He came to the doorway, smiling, and held out his arms. But the warm welcome was quickly over and she looked from one to the other and explained about her key.

"I don't understand it." And then softly, as they walked into the living room, she looked over her shoulder and faced them. "I guess John had the locks changed."

But Mary was looking unhappy, and Seth finally raised his eyes. "Betty, sit down, honey. I've got some fairly stiff news." Oh, God, had something happened? Had something happened to him while she was gone? But why did no one call her? She felt her face go suddenly white. But Seth shook his head slowly. "It's nothing like that. But as his attorney, I had to respect his confidence. He came to me after you left and he insisted that I not say anything to you. It's been"--he seemed to hesitate awkwardly--" it's been damn difficult, to tell you the truth."

"It's all right, Seth. Whatever it is, you can tell me now."

He nodded slowly, and then looked at Mary before he looked back at her. "I know. I have to. Betty, he filed for divorce the day after you left."

"He did? But I never got any papers."

Seth shook his head firmly. "You don't have to. Remember when you divorced your ex-husband? In this state it's called a dissolution and all that's required is for one spouse to want out. He did. And that was that."

"How nice and simple." She took a deep breath. "So when is the final decree?"

"I'd have to look it up, but I think it's in about three more months."

"And he changed the locks on the house?" Now she understood why he never answered her letters or phone calls while she was working on the play.

But Seth was shaking his head again. "He sold the house, Betty. He's not there anymore."

This time she looked truly shocked. "But what about our things? My things ... the things we bought together.... "

"He left you some boxes, and suitcases with your clothes, and all of Alexander's toys." She felt her head begin to reel as she listened.

"And Alexander? He's not going to fight me for him?" She was suddenly grateful that she had taken the boy to New York. What if he had disappeared with Alexander? She would have died.

But now Seth seemed to hesitate before he spoke. "He--he doesn't want to see the boy again, Betty. He says he's all yours."

"Oh, my God." Slowly she stood up and went to the doorway, where she met the eyes of her son.

He looked up at her, his eyes filled with questions. "Where's Daddy, Mom?"

But she only shook her head slowly. "He's not here, sweetheart. He went away on a trip."

"Just like us? To New York?" He looked intrigued and Bettina fought back tears.

"No, darling, not to New York."

And then he looked at her strangely, as though he knew. "Are we going back to New York, Mommy?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, maybe. Would you like that?"

He looked at her, smiling broadly. "Yeah. I was just telling them about the big zoo." It shocked her that he wasn't more anxious for his father, but maybe it was just as well. And then slowly she turned to face Seth and Mary, with tears in her eyes and a lopsided grin.

"Well, so much for Betty Fields." But she hadn't been that for three months now. In New York, as a playwright, she had been Bettina Daniels. And maybe, she realized, that was who she should always have been. She looked back at her two friends. "Can we stay with you for a few days?"

"As long as you like." And then Mary held out her arms and hugged her. "And, baby, we're so sorry. He's a fool." But it wasn't the bird of paradise he had wanted. He had wanted the little gray and brown bird. Secretly Bettina had known it all along.

Bettina and Alexander left San Francisco the day after Christmas, and after much soul-searching she sent the boxes filled with their possessions ahead to her hotel in New York.

"But I've been here for six years, Mary."

"I know. But do you really want to stay here now?"

Bettina had thought about it endlessly for the two lonely weeks they were there, and by the time Christmas came, she knew that what Mary was saying was more than just a question of what city she wanted to live in. Everyone she had known in San Francisco was a friend of John's. Suddenly people who had been warm and friendly ignored her completely when they met her on the street. She not only wore the stigma of divorce, but of success.

And so, on the day after Christmas they got on the plane, and Ollie met them at the other end. It was odd, it didn't feel to Bettina as though she had just left home, instead it felt like she was coming back to it as she got off the plane in New York. Ollie swept Alexander into his arms and buried him in the folds of a huge raccoon coat.

"Where did you get that? It's super." Bettina looked at him with a broad smile.

"My Christmas present to me." And he had several for Bettina and Alexander in the backseat of the limousine he had rented to take her back to her hotel. It had snowed the day before Christmas, and there were still a few inches of snow along the side of the road.

But as they drove back to the city she had left only two weeks before, she sensed something different about Ollie, something quiet and tense. She waited until Alexander was busy with the teddy bear, the fire truck with the siren, and the set of battery-operated cars on the floor of the limousine, and then she looked over at him quietly.

"Is something wrong?"

The funeral was two days later. Governors, senators, newspaper moguls, socialites, authors, playwrights, movie stars, everyone came. And in the front row was Bettina.

Ollie took her arm as they left the cathedral, and neither of them spoke a word after they got back into the car. She rode, silent and dry eyed, back to the hotel, holding tightly to his hand. She looked ivory-white as she sat there, her perfect features etched in cameo fashion against the gray silhouette of the sky.

"Do you want to come up for a cup of coffee?" She looked bleakly at Ollie, and then turned as he nodded and followed her inside.

But upstairs there was Alexander and she had to at least make the pretense of wearing a smile. And half an hour later after coffee and croissants and Alexander's stories to his mother about the joys of Central Park, the smile was more than just put on. Ollie was relieved to see her looking better.

"Bettina? How about a walk this morning? I think we could both use some air." And then maybe lunch, and after that coffee at his place. Watching her, he had just decided not to leave her alone. "How about it? You could put on some slacks, and we could go roam for a while. Sound inviting?"