Loving Alex (29 page)

After showering and changing into
one of my new dresses Archie arrives to take us to Reid’s. I ask about Gia and
Roberto, James tells me that they’ve arranged a taxi to collect them.

We all pile into the S Class,
“Evening Mrs. Drake.” Archie tips his cap as he holds the doors open for us
“Miss Drake.”

James, Anna and I sit across the
back seat whilst Franco sits in the front. All four of us look incredibly well
turned out, James and Franco look like twins in their black suits and white
open neck shirts, it’s sort of like a uniform, Anna looks stunning in a royal
blue silk strapless dress and I’ve opted for the understated Alexander Wang
with the keyhole neck. It’s easy to wear, comfortable.

We pull up outside of the hotel
and Archie opens the doors, I let him without complaining tonight, but only
because we’ve company. The doorman opens the door for us and we walk past Sam,
he nods as we walk past.

James asks us to wait while he checks
on something and leaves me with Anna and Franco for a couple of minutes. “Come
on.” He calls after he’s done whatever he needs to.

We walk over to the small
function room that we’ve taken over for the evening, Anna, James and Franco
behind me. I open the door and walk into a huge welcoming round of “Happy
Birthday.”

There’s Gia, Roberto, Benito,
Katie and her mum and dad all standing there singing happy birthday to me. I’ve
never experienced anything like it, it’s quite overwhelming, I was already an
emotional smoothie before I got here, now I’m a quivering heap.

I puff out my cheeks and exhale
loudly. Tears fill my eyes as I break down again, how many times is this today?

“Who arranged this?” I look at
James. “I knew we were meeting for a family meal, I didn’t expect this!”

“Your Father.” He looks at
Ramiro who’s standing there, also tearful.

Ramiro walks towards me and
holds my hand. Looking directly at me he says, in very broken English, “I’m
never letting you go again Alex.”

That does it, I crumble holding
him tightly. He guides me to a chair, and sits next to me he holds my hand, he
looks at me and doesn’t have to speak, I know what he’s thinking.

After a few moments one of the
waiting staff comes in with a tray of champagne flutes, he passes the tray
around, each of my guests taking a glass, once everyone has a glass of fizz
Benito bangs on a table “May I have your attention please.” He announces.

The room falls silent, everyone
listening to what he has to say.

“I have some words that Ramiro
has asked me to read.” Everyone stands or sits still, quietly as Benito unfolds
his sheet of paper. He stands, composes himself checks around and begins.

“Forty three years ago today
Alexandra made her entrance into the world, a world that until recently I was not
part of, although she is most definitely my daughter. My father, in his wisdom
would not permit me to marry Alexandra’s mother and hence we did not know each
other as she grew up, Alexandra was raised by Maggie’s sister and her husband.
I have never stopped loving Maggie and never will. I always loved Alexandra,
even though I did not know her. Now we have met I am so proud of what she has
become. She has overcome some times that would have seen most of us off, yet
she stayed strong – I think she gets that from our family.” There are little
chuckles from around the room.

Benito continues the prepared
speech. “Her looks, well they’re definitely from Maggie. My Maggie was
beautiful and so is our daughter. Alexandra, I am so pleased to have found you
and to finally be celebrating a birthday with you, despite it being forty-three
years late. I have something for you which I hope you will treasure forever.”

Benito signals to Ramiro that
the time has come to hand over whatever he plans to give me. He stands and places
a small blue velvet covered box in my hand.

I look at my father and open it
slowly, inside there are two gold wedding bands tied together with a piece of
frayed blue ribbon, one much wider than the other, clearly his and hers. They
are engraved on the inside, in Italian.

Benito continues reading from
his notes. “I had these rings made for Maggie and me, when I first asked her to
marry me. I kept them but I would like you to have them. The inscription on the
inside of each ring is the same,
Forever Begins Today
. I feel for Maggie
now what I felt for her over forty years ago. Happy Birthday my darling girl, I
love you and always have, I just didn’t know you.”

The room goes silent, the tears fall
freely down my cheeks, James puts his arm around me and pulls me close, “Are
you okay?” He whispers.

“I’m fine. I need to check on
Ramiro.” I pull away from James and go over to my birth father, he’s sitting
down, he looks frail compared to his brother, Roberto, although I know he’s
strong, he’s had a hard life and it’s evident. I sit and hold his hand for a
while. I wave to Anna and Gia to come over. When they arrive I ask Gia to tell
him that this is Anna, his Grand-daughter, Annabelle. That she is eighteen and
going to university very soon.

Ramiro rambles away to Gia who
nods and smiles, a tear in her eye. “He says she is very much like his mother,
and you know Anna you are just like your great Grandmother, in fact I would go
as far as to say a spitting image.”

Ramiro pulls his wallet from his
trouser pocket and shows us an old battered black and white photograph, “Ah,”
Gia gasps as the look at the photo, “this is Ramiro and Roberto’s parents, look
– just like Anna.”

I look at the photograph, the
likeness is uncanny, there’s no mistake who we belong to.

James has organised a beautiful
buffet, “a little more informal than a silver service meal” He explains, “more
time for circulation.”

Anna sits with Ramiro for most
the evening. She never knew either of her grandfathers, my adopted father dead
long before she was born and Lewis’ family, well they stayed away, I think she
finds it quite a novelty, she tries out a little bit of her school girl Italian
on him, but I don’t think they get much further than “left, right hello and
goodbye”, but they seem to get along so very well. I smile at them sitting
there together.

Katie looks sullen with her
parents, maybe cast aside by Anna, I don’t really know what went on in
California, but Anna certainly disapproved of the amount of partners that Katie
had, I think there may be trouble brewing there.

Franco spends time with his son,
they both look menacing, particularly Franco who seems to just sit weighing
everyone up, I’d love to know more about him! I’m certainly pleased I’m on the
right side.

The rest of my guests seem very
happy. There are presents and cards, balloons, good wine, good company. Yes, I
am happy.

I note that James is now sitting
with Ramiro and Roberto. The three are in conversation with each other, all
looking very serious. My God he’s handsome, stunningly so, I just stand and
watch him, he’s mine and I still can’t believe it, I still don’t think it’s
quite sunk in. As I watch them, I see James smile at Ramiro and shake his hand.
Then I am summoned over to the three of them.

Ramiro rambles and Roberto
translates again for him. “Alex, James has just asked your father for your
hand. I know he’s already proposed and you’ve accepted but, it’s been done
properly. Ramiro has agreed.”

There are no words, I smile at
my father and at James who stands and pulls me so close.

“I love you Alex – Now and
forever.” He whispers.

“Now and forever.” I say back.
“Can we go clubbing? I want to dance like a loon!”

“Everyone!” James shouts,
“party’s moving – We’re going to Henry’s!” There’s whoops from Anna, Katie and
Benito, grumbles from the oldies and Katie’s father, Greg just looks stunned
her mother, Rachel smiles broadly and walks over to me quickly. “Can you
introduce me to the big guy, Franco?” She asks. I smile back at her. “He’ll be
at the club Rachel, have a dance with him!”

She wanders back to her
husband’s side, I don’t think that Franco will want to dance with her, Lord
knows what she’s wearing, mutton dressed up as lamb, or what. The skirt is well
above her knees showing her sinewy legs the ends of which are adorned with
heels that’s she’ll regret wearing later and the boobs, I swear they’ve been
pumped up since the last time I saw her, maybe she’s a valve on them, hidden
somewhere!
Stop it Alex, I think to myself – I’m not normally bitchy!

“We’re going to go home,” Gia
tells me, “we’ll take Ramiro, but Franco’s coming with you. We’re a bit too old
for clubbing Alex.”

We hug the three oldies. James
orders a fleet of taxi’s and Archie to ferry them home and us to the club.

In a little over half an hour
we’re all squashed into a VIP booth at Henry’s. Several bottles of champagne
have been ordered and three large bowls of strawberries are put on the table.

“Come on folks,” I shout at my
party, “It’s time to drink champagne and dance on the tables – come on!”

Rachel tries her best to fit in
but Greg looks totally out of place, she’s well in the swing of things, dancing
very close to Franco who looks even more menacing but is clearly having a good
time. He’s certainly attracting lots of attention from the young ladies on the
dance floor as he throws his moves to Avicii’s
Levels
and straight after
Don’t You Worry Child
by Swedish House Mafia, I wonder if he likes them
because of their name? Rachel is well in his space making herself look a little
foolish, but as long as she has a good time, I’m happy!

The girls, Anna and Katie have
disappeared, somewhere among the throng of dancers, I hope they’re not downing
the Zombie’s?

James stays close all night, not
moving more than an arm’s length away, he leads me down onto the dance floor as
a slow track is played, Beneath Your Beautiful. He holds me tightly as we sway,
“Have you had a good day?”

“Fantastic!” I bury my face in
his shoulder.

“Listen to this Alex – it’s for
you.”

I look up, “You asked for it?”

“What do you think? Yes.”

I hug him close. “Shall we have
a baby?” I have to raise my voice to be heard.

He stands back, pushes me away
at arm’s length, the smile on his face is contagious I smile back, “You mean it
Alex?” everything about him lights up.

“Yes, but I don’t want to wait,
I don’t want to be an old, old mum and you’ll have to help me and you promise
to still love me when I’m fat and my legs are swollen and when I can’t bend
down and when my boobs are so sore from feeding you won’t be able to get near
me, and I’ll be as cranky as hell!” I tell him the realities of being pregnant.

He smiles, “I promise I’ll look
after you, I promise”

Three Months Later, Tuscany. Late
December.

“You need to go James, you can’t
stay here. Go!” I point towards the front door of the villa.

He looks at me “Why can’t I stay
here? It’s not as if we’re some young things?” He sulks.

“James, it’s bad luck, you can’t
stay here tonight. Listen... ” I walk over to him and place my palm on his
cheek, “I’m going to miss you tonight too, but it’s only for a few hours,
tomorrow morning at 11am I’ll be with you again for the biggest and best day of
our lives, but you can’t stay here tonight, no!” I look into those huge dark
brown eyes, the mass of curls, that unruly hair.

“James.” Gia pipes up “You need
to go son, Alex is right, it’s bad luck, you cannot stay here. Roberto’s
outside waiting for you, go on….go and enjoy a few drinks with the boys!” She
walks over to him and starts to push him towards the door. “OUT!” She shouts.

He turns, looking so forlorn,
dejected and shuffles off and onto the covered porch area. I glance at Anna who
is curled up on one of the sofas, she’s giggling. “James, you’ll get her back
in a little over twelve hours. Go on, enjoy your last night of freedom before
my mum affixes that ball and chain to your ankle!” She laughs.

“She can affix whatever she
wants to whatever part of me she wants!” He calls back.

“They’ll be none of that talk in
here James!” Gia snaps. “Now, out!” She shoves him out of the front door before
coming back inside and closing the door firmly behind her. The look on her face
is one of great achievement; she brushes her palms along her hips and nods at
me “Job done!”

I hear the car pull away and
feel so lonely, despite having my daughter and Gia with me, my soul mate has
gone, I know only for the night, but even so, he’s gone and I feel alone and
empty.

“Well, ladies, shall we have a
glass of wine?” Gia walks through to my kitchen and returns with two bottles,
one white for Anna and one red for me and herself, she has three glasses which
she places on the coffee table before filling and handing out. “To you Alex!”
She raises her glass and is followed by Anna who stands. The three of us hug each
other before flopping down on the chairs and sofa, we sit quietly contemplating
the day ahead, everything’s been arranged very quickly and we’ve been so lucky
to secure a ceremony on New Year’s Eve.

“So everything’s planned? Are
you sure you’ve not forgotten anything?” Gia asks for what must be the
twentieth time today.

“Yes, hairdresser here at 8am,
beauty therapist for make up and
things
at 9.30, car and Ramiro due here
at 10.30, giving us half an hour to get to the hotel.” I confirm
again
.

“And your dress is hung and
nothing needs doing to it?” She’s mithering now.

“Yes, Gia. Everything’s sorted!”
I huff.

“Well then girls, let’s have a
few drinks!” She pours again before going back into the kitchen and returning
with a tray of little nibbles which we pick at.

“I can’t believe it’s New Years
Eve tomorrow. It’s really happening!” I think aloud.

“A New Year Alex, and a new
beginning.” Gia raises her glass again.

Anna stays curled up, her head
buried firmly in a book. She looks up from her reading “A new life mum!”

“I’m pleased that Gary could
come over,” I look at Anna “he’s a nice boy, with a good job.”

“He’s not a boy mum, he’s a man.
I keep telling you, he’s twenty-five!” She snaps.

“Whatever, I’m just so pleased
that you’ve got someone to look after you while you’re away from home”

“Umm.” She mumbles in reply,
clearly not wanting to discuss her new boyfriend, the nice young man who did
the conveyancing on her new apartment in Birmingham.

We sit drinking wine and the
evening passes quickly. I’m the first to head off to bed feeling really quite
tired, a little drunk and conscious that tomorrow will be an exhausting day.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow
morning, bright and early.” I hug Gia and Anna before heading off up to my huge
room.

I undress and look at my
strawberry tattoo in the full length mirror, I love it! Then I look at my
shoulder, I can still see the scar,
I
know it’s still there but the
treatment that the consultant suggested appears to be working, at least it
means that I can start to wear dresses that are a little more revealing! Of
course, I wouldn’t have done any of this without James, encouraging me and
holding my hand!

Once I’ve snuggled into the bed,
which feels empty without James, the events of this year run through my mind
and in honesty, I don’t know how I’ve actually survived the year let alone got
to this point! I couldn’t have done any of it without The Bossman, he has been
totally and utterly supportive in every way imaginable, from dealing with the
trauma of leaving Lewis, the horrors of the past, and then finding out that the
bastard was already married when he married me! Still, he’s locked up, although
not for much longer and then he’ll have quite a bit of litter picking to do as
part of his sentence when he does get out, I really do hope he enjoys clearing
the streets! I watched him in court as he stood there, his excuse for marrying
me when he was still married to Muriel was that, well he thought he could
simply get away with it, he claims to have loved Muriel dearly but also me,
although I find that hard to believe with the way he treated me, anyway it’s
part of my life that’s over, gone.

Yes, James has been my rock for
the last six months. Apart from Anna, he is my world and I love him so very,
very much.

I start to drift off when my
phone pings. Reaching for it from the bedside table I know who it will be,
James texting.

Can’t wait until 2moro. 2
make U mine!

I answer straight away

Go 2 slp. U need your nrg 4
2moro! I love U xx

My phone pings with a reply

Not as much as I love U

Now, how did I know he would say
that?

I reply

James, go 2 slp! Xx

I don’t hear from him again and
drift off into the most restful, peaceful sleep.

I wake early, courtesy of my
alarm and after a cup of tea I shower and make sure my pale blue underwear is
laid out on my bed. The house is alive, Gia flapping, Anna playing her music,
hair dresses and beauty therapists coming and going. There’s flowers being
delivered and my phone constantly pinging with messages from James. He’s so
annoying, in a nice way!

The weather is beautiful, blue
sky but chilly, perfect. I knew it wouldn’t be warm, but at least it’s not
snowing or worse still raining, as it would have been if we had arranged this
in the UK.

My hair’s been styled but left
loose, as James likes it that way, my make up applied professionally,
understated and neutral. I lift my dress from the silk padded hanger and slip
into it, Gia comes in to help with the positioning on the swathes of fabric
that drape down low at the back. Gia’s the only person to have seen the dress –
nobody knows that my back will be on display for the first time in, what nearly
six years! Once she leaves, I check myself in the full length mirror, I turn
and look at my back, perfect.

At 10am I hear Ramiro arrive
with Roberto. There’s some raised voices from downstairs and from what I can
gather Roberto had a hard time with James, who apparently wanted to come out “
for
a ride”
. Anyway, it appears they managed to persuade him to stay at the
hotel. At a little before 10.30 Anna leaves with Roberto leaving me in my room
and my birth father waiting downstairs for me, with Gia to translate.

“Alex!” He calls in his heavy
accent.

I open the door walk across the
landing, down the stairs and into the main room.

“Oh mia bambina.” He sighs. As I
get closer I can see the tears in his eyes, he extends his hand and holds mine,
cocooning my left hand between his old, weathered hands. “Alex” He whispers,
pulling me close.

He pushes me back slightly and
just stands there, looking at me he shakes his head and rambles something at
Gia.

“He says you look magnificent,
stunning, beautiful. He loves you Alex!” She translates. He rambles on again.

“Are you sure you want to do
this, there’s time, time to say “no.”” Gia looks at me seriously.

“I’ve never been so sure of
anything in all of my life.” I smile at Ramiro and at Gia. My father looks so
very handsome, for an older man. Despite his hard life, the strains of which
show on his face and his hands he looks so very elegant and distinguished. He
smiles and I think that’s the moment when my heart melts, when I realise how
much I am loved, by these people, all of them – people that I have only known
for a relatively short time. I think for the first time since I lost my mum I
feel like I truly belong.

He offers me his arm and I take
it, I place my other hand on top of his. I hold onto the man that I never knew
until a few months ago, this charming man – the man that I know loves me so
very much and always has. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the day
ahead, the best day of my life, my new life!

I sit in the back of the vintage
Mercedes with Ramiro, he grips my hand tightly as we take the short journey to
the hotel where my wedding will be held. I’m single, well engaged really but not
for much longer.

I hold tightly onto my father’s
hand as t
he car pulls up outside the hotel,
crunching across the gravel driveway. Anna is already here waiting for us,
she’s wearing a satin knee length dusky pink dress with a single ruffle
shoulder, perfectly fitted to show off her slender figure, she has a fine
cashmere Pashmina draped around her shoulders. Her dark curls have been styled
beautifully and cascade down her back.

The
driver steps out of the car and walks to the back letting Ramiro out first,
then around to me. Ramiro extends his hand to help me out, I swivel around in
my seat placing my feet onto the gravel before standing and pushing myself out
of the car. Once stood I smooth the silk of my long simple pale blue column
dress down over my hips, the body of the dress skims my skin, the fabric scoops
low at the back from the shoulders, when I remove the fine wrap it will be the
first time I’ve shown my back for years, all thanks to the surgeon who helped
me in the summer my scar now more or less gone.

I
smile at Ramiro, my father, as he guides me across the gravel to the steps of
the hotel where the events of today will take place. Anna fusses as we walk,
pinching and pulling my dress into place, the swathes of fabric falling softly
to the small of my back, the silk feeling so soft and luxurious against my
skin, my strawberry just visible.

“You
look lovely Anna.” I whisper to my daughter.

“So
do you mum, and Ramiro – Granddad.” She giggles. I have requested that all the
men wear black trousers and jackets with white open necked shirts, no ties or
cravats. They all have fine pale blue ribbons and irises in their button holes.
Ramiro does carry the look off very well.

We
make our way into the hotel and I remove my wrap and check myself in the mirror,
my bouquet, blue and white irises compliments my pale blue dress beautifully.
Tiny diamante hair clips catch the light as I check myself in the mirror. Once
I’m ready I nod at my father and we make our way to the room used for
ceremonies. We stand at the threshold of the room, Ramiro holds my hand
tightly, he kisses me lightly on the cheek and smiles “OK?” He asks.

I
nod, the language barrier is still very much evident but little by little we’re
learning.

Gia
appears “Oh Alex - you do look stunning, look at you!” She puts her hands over
her mouth, tears fill her eyes.

“Gia,
not now,” I say firmly “you’ll start me off!” I take a deep breath.
I am not
going to cry!

Ramiro
talks to her quickly and she translates. "He says you look beautiful, that
your grandmother would have been so very proud, that Maggie will be looking
down on you, on us and he knows in his heart that she will always be here in
this place, in Tuscany, it meant so much to her."

Ramiro
chats again, translated by Gia who’s now struggling to hold back the tears.

“He
says that he feels like he’s found you and is already giving you away again but
that he is so happy, happy that you are marrying James. He knows that Lucca’s
son will look after you.”

I
struggle to stay composed, fighting the tears back at the words, breathing
deeply, wishing myself to stay calm. Inside I’m knotted, excited and nervous, a
total emotional mash up! “Tell him that I’ll never leave him again, tell him
that I love him so very much, I love my new dad, please tell him!” Gia
translates, Ramiro looks at me. He leans forward and kisses my cheek so gently.

I
place my hand on the side of his face, "Thank you." I whisper.

He
nods "I love you Alex." He says in broken English, then speaks in his
language. Gia translates. "He says you are certain about this? You can
still pull out, if you’re not sure!"

I
nod and smile, I do want this, so very much.

He
lifts my hand and puts it against his heart and kisses my cheek.
"Beautiful." he whispers. He offers me his arm and walks me into the
oak clad room.

I
walk with my father down the centre of two rows of seats, the room is full,
mainly people I don't know, extended family of extended family, Andrea Bocelli
sings
Vivo Per Lei
as we walk towards the official.