Love's Sweet Surrender (8 page)

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50

Sandy Sullivan

Hands planted on her hips, she snorted, “You have a funny way of doing it then. Since when do you come up behind someone, put an arm around her and cover her mouth if you are here to apologize?”

* * * *

Seth really hadn’t come to frighten her. When he reached home, his behavior with the schoolteacher had embarrassed him, so he dropped the children off and drove back to town with the intention of apologizing.

She'd been completely unaware of anyone around her while she walked in the rain. He was afraid that if he startled her, she would scream and alert the whole town to his presence in her house. He really didn’t want anyone thinking there was something going on between him and the pretty teacher, not now, not ever.

The infuriated female in front of him now, with her chest heaving from exertion and fright, caught his male attention. Anger made her face flush and her eyes sparkle, and he wondered what she would look like sated after making love. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.
I don't need her kind
of female.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I knew you hadn’t heard me come up behind you, and I didn’t want you to shout in surprise, that’s all. You seemed to be lost in thought.”

Her anger seemed to deflate, and her shoulders relaxed.

“I’m sorry, too. How is your shin?”

“Probably bruised pretty good, but I'm sure it'll be fine.”

“Well, since you are here, please come in so I can close the door. The rain is coming down much harder now.”

Seth moved inside the little house and closed the door behind him to shield them from the rain.

“Would you like some coffee?”

He caught himself watching the sway of her hips beneath her frock when she moved toward the kitchen.

“This rain will chill you to the bone even if it’s still rather warm outside.”

“Sure. Thanks.” His eyes began to wander about the front room of the home.
She’s done a lot with it in just a few days
. It had been very dark and dingy when he had been here before, and the people of Parkville had tried Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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Love’s Sweet Surrender

51

their best to spruce it up a little for the arrival of the new teacher. Lily had hung some pretty curtains on the windows, and her books lined the shelves along each wall that he had built himself. She returned from the kitchen a moment later, bringing his attention back to the beautiful woman in front of him.

“The coffee will be ready in a few minutes. Did you take the children home before you came back? I hope they are not sitting out in the wagon still.”

“No. I took them home. It’s not a very long ride out to my place from town.” He shifted from foot to foot, unsure of what else to say.
The safest
topic would be the house.
“You’ve been busy in here, I see.”

“Yes, well, I’ve tried to do a few things to make it a little brighter in here. It’s a pretty house. It just needed a woman’s touch.”

“Yeah, well, it looks nice. It was rather gloomy in here before.”

“Thank you." Lily’s eyes shifted to the books lining the wall. "I especially like the bookshelves. They’ve come in very handy with all the books that I brought with me from Boston.”

“I’m glad you like them. They weren’t that hard to make.”

Their eyes met, and one eyebrow shot up when she asked, “Oh?”

“I made them for the house.” He shifted slightly, embarrassed at her look. He had never felt nervous around a woman, but this one made him almost uncomfortable.

“In that case, thank you again. They are perfect.” A whistling noise came from the kitchen. “Let me check the coffee.”

He stood in the middle of her house and raked nervous fingers through his hair. When he had first seen her on the train, he could feel her eyes rest on him on several occasions when she thought he was sleeping. He wouldn't tell her, but he rarely slept anymore excerpt for fitful rest now and then.

Always on high alert, he kept his ears open for any information that might help him track the men who killed Victoria. When he'd seen Lily on the train, her beauty and kindness drew his attention like a moth to flame.

At the town meeting, the mayor talked about making Lily leave because of a misunderstanding about her age, and for some reason he had stood up for her. He had even gone to a few of the townspeople and talked to them about letting her stay. He didn’t know why, but he wanted her to be here, needed her to be here.

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52

Sandy Sullivan

Her voice interrupted his thoughts when she asked, “How do you take your coffee, Mr. Sanford?”

“Just black, ma’am.”

Lily returned a short minute later, carrying two cups of steaming coffee.

“Please, have a seat.” She handed him the cup, and their fingers brushed, sending shivers down his back at the contact. The cup wobbled in her hand, almost splashing the hot liquid over the rim. “I’m sorry. Please, sit down.”

She moved across the room and took a seat on the small settee near the window.

“Thanks. Please, call me Seth. Mr. Sanford is too formal around here.”

He moved toward a larger chair and took a seat.

“All right then, Seth.” She sipped her coffee for a moment, and, returning her cup to the saucer, she said, “Have you thought about what I said earlier?”

“You mean about the children?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, I have, and I do want to apologize for my behavior this afternoon.

I was out of line, and I’m sorry, but my wife’s death is a very touchy subject with me and the children.” Seth sipped his coffee and watched her over the rim.

“I realize it hasn’t been that long ago, and I’m sure it’s still a very fresh wound but…” Lily started, but he cut her off, raising his hand to silence her.

“You have no idea, Mrs. Backman, what it’s been like.” Changing the subject back to her, he asked, “How did you lose your husband?”

“I well, uh… he was killed in an accident at my father’s shipyard.” Her gaze shifted around the room a moment before it returned to her cup.

“I’m going to tell you something that no one else knows, Mrs.

Backman, so you can understand where this all stems from.”

“Lily, please. Call me Lily.”

“All right, Lily. I’m going to tell you how my wife died, so you can understand why it is extremely difficult for me to talk about and for my children to understand. You see, I told them that their mother had fallen from her horse and broken her neck, but that’s not the whole truth. She did fall from her horse, but only after she had been shot in the chest.”

“Oh my!” Lily exclaimed and raised her hand to her throat.

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“I couldn’t let the children know she had been shot because I don’t want them harboring the same hatred burning in my soul for the men responsible.

I can never tell them what really happened.”

Seth placed his now empty cup on the table near him before he rose and walked to the nearby window.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Seth, I still really think you need to tell the children what happened.”

“I can’t!” He spat before his fist connected with the wall next to the window. “Don’t you understand? If they were to know their mother was murdered, they would never be able to forgive the men responsible, just as I can’t. I don’t want it to consume their lives like it has mine for the last six months.”

He swung around and met her gaze only to find sympathy and

understanding shining brightly in her eyes.

“Seth.” She stood and moved toward him “You have to let it go. This rage will kill you if you don’t.”

“There is no way I can let it go. I have to find them and make them pay for what they’ve done to my family. My children will now grow up without a mother because these men have robbed them of her.” Not wanting to see the pity in her eyes, he swung back around to stare out the window again.

He could feel her behind him as her warmth tried to penetrate the chill surrounding his heart. When her hand came to rest on his shoulder in comfort, he couldn't help but stiffen. He didn’t want her to try to console him, didn’t need it, and if she continued down that path, he was afraid she would be hurt in the process. Her kindness and gentle personality sparkled brightly in her eyes, and it was clear she had this need to make people feel better. He was beyond her help. The darkness encompassing him these days wouldn’t leave him alone, and he didn’t want her to get swallowed into the black hole his life had become.

When he turned to face her, he could see the trust in her eyes, and he couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t allow that trust to penetrate the hate in his soul.

“Let it be, Lily.” he whispered before he turned and headed back into the afternoon rain.

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54

Sandy Sullivan

The next afternoon found Lily lost in thought. The pain surrounding Seth hurt her heart, and she wished he would let her help him. If he would just talk about the pain, she was sure he would feel better, even just a little.

When the children arrived at school the next morning, she asked Johnny what had happened when his father returned home.

“Nothin’,” he replied. “Why?”

“I was wondering, that’s all. He came by to apologize for his behavior yesterday, and we talked some. I just didn’t know if he mentioned it when he got home.”

“Nope.” Frustration seeped from the boy with every clipped word. “He just went off to his study to drink whiskey again.”

Concern zipped through her mind. “Does he do that often?”

“Couple times a week, I guess. Seems like something sets him off during the day, and then he goes in there. I’m not sure. Carmen says he needs to grieve, whatever that means.”

Lily thought Johnny defended his father with a little too much wisdom for a child his age.

“Carmen seems like a very wise person,” Lily muttered absently. Her mind focused on the fact that drinking was the way Seth dealt with his pain.

“She is very good to us and has been with us for a long time now. Ever since before I was born. Momma hired her to help around the house when she was gonna have me. She’s been like a momma to us since ours is gone now.”

Lily watched the other two Sanford children sit alone near a tree.

“Thank you, Johnny.”

“You're welcome, ma’am.” Johnny shuffled off to join his siblings before school started.

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Love’s Sweet Surrender

55

It was late afternoon and almost time for the children to leave for the day. Lily anticipated seeing Seth again when he came to pick up the children and her stomach did a little flip in her belly. Her hand slipped over her abdomen to try to calm her nerves.
This is silly. He’s not a stranger, after
all.
He'd been to her home just last night and told her something he hadn’t told anyone. That should at least make them friends.

“All right, children. It’s time to go. You may pack your things, and I’ll see you all Monday. Have a nice weekend.” When the children scrambled to grab their things and head for the door, she scolded, “Walk, children, walk.”

Johnny, Jarod and Anne were the last to gather their schoolbooks and head for the door. Lily made it there before all the children were dismissed in an attempt to make their departure less chaotic. When the doorway cleared from the scurry of anxious children, she could easily see that Seth hadn’t arrived yet.

At least today the sun has returned.

Just as the schoolyard cleared, Seth’s wagon came around the corner of the church. When the wagon finally rolled to a stop in front of the school, Seth set the brake and wrapped the reins around it and jumped down.

He tipped his hat and said, “Ma’am.”

The children raced down the stairs, and he turned to help them into the wagon. This gave Lily an enticing view as the muscles of his arms bunched and rolled under his shirt.

“Mr. Sanford,” Lily replied in greeting, but when his eyes swung back to her, she corrected herself by saying, "Seth. Can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Uh… sure. I guess so.” Seth moved toward the stairs to follow her into the school. “Wait out here, children.”

* * * *

Seth had seen Lily standing with his children when the wagon rounded the corner of the church and desire zinged down his back as he let his gaze roam over her frame. Her dress fit snugly across her chest and tapered out from her small waist, emphasizing to him that he could probably span it with his hands. Her big green eyes watched as stopped the horses with a soft

"whoa".

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56

Sandy Sullivan

Uneasiness squeezed his insides when she requested to speak to him, but as he followed Lily up the stairs, he gave her backside an appreciative look.

Her hips swayed beneath her frock, and he quickly pulled his gaze away, giving himself a mental reprimand. He really didn’t need a woman in his life, especially not a woman like her.

Once they entered the school, he shut the door behind them and turned to face her. “What can I do for you?”

“We need to come up with some kind of plan for your children.”

She tipped her head to the side, and her openly curious gaze met his across the small space separating them. A blush crept up her cheeks, and he wondered if she knew where his thoughts centered when they were in the same room.