Authors: Kristin; Dianne; Billerbeck Christner
“I'll leave you alone,” Maria said.
Chase arrived for Christmas dinner carrying packages for all of the Lathrop family. He brought Maria a tortoiseshell comb for her hair, just like the one he'd seen in her
Rancho de Estrella
painting. For Robert, he had purchased a new pair of boots in Redwood's finest shop, and for Seth, a new woolen coat for winter.
Rachel marveled at the thought Chase had put into the gifts, and it made her appreciate even more the painting he had commissioned for her. The family rejoiced in their gifts and went off together into the kitchen, leaving Rachel and Chase alone in the parlor.
“How is the teaching going?” Chase asked.
“Not very well, I'm afraid. Dennis and Aubrey haven't returned to school since I ridiculed them. I didn't mean to, of course; I was trying to show them that an education would help them achieve their dreams. Instead, I told them their dreams were impossible.”
“Would it help if I talked with them? I'll see them tomorrow at the mill.”
“Chase, would you?” Rachel asked.
“Of course. I wouldn't want Searsville's best teacher to become discouraged because of one little incident.” Rachel felt a weight begin to lift from her shoulders at the thought her students might return. She was caught off guard when Chase changed the subject. “Rachel, did you like the present I gave you?”
“Yes, Chase. I like it very much. The likeness was uncanny; I had no idea Mrs. Williams was so talented,” Rachel answered, avoiding the real subject.
“Yes, her mother was an artist as well. Mrs. Williams always says her first toy was a paintbrush.”
Rachel breathed deeply and prepared her rehearsed speech, “Chase⦠Mr. Dylan, I love the painting, but I'm returning it to you for your own home.” Chase laughed out loud and the young woman stared in confusion.
“I don't understand. Is something funny?”
“Rachel, if you saw my home you'd know why I'm laughing. I'm afraid home decor has never been a priority in my life.” Rachel's brow furrowed in thought as she visualized the home as a hermit's cave without the basic necessities of life. Chase added quickly, “Well, it's not
that
bad. It's just that fine artwork would hardly be at home in my cabin.”
“I'm afraid the painting is just too perfect, I mean⦠personnel.” Rachel looked out the window, flustered.
“Oh⦠well, that's not how it was intended. I'm sorry if you misunderstood or if I offended you,” Chase said angrily. Rachel felt a rush of warmth rise from the base of her neck, becoming a flush of color on her cheeks. Obviously Chase had meant the gift only as a token of friendship, and she had read more into it.
“Dinner's ready,” Maria called from the doorway.
“Maria, I don't think I'll be joining you for dinner.” Chase's tone was pointed. “I promised Henry Steele that I'd come by. It's getting late, and⦠well, thanks anyway.” Chase bolted for the door without addressing Rachel or Robert. He picked up the painting which was in the entryway and roughly shoved it under his arm.
Rachel stayed motionless by the window as she watched him walk toward Gretchen Steele's home, a jealous fury building inside her. Maria and Robert looked at one another in confusion.
Robert spoke first. “I'm going to check on the horses before dinner. I'll take Seth with me. We'll be back later.” He excused himself and left Maria to deal with the fallout.
“Rachel? Do you want to talk about it?” Maria asked.
“What's there to talk about? I made a fool out of myself and now, if Gretchen Steele has her way, the whole town will know soon enough.” Rachel's pride was wounded. Not only because her feelings for Chase had been thwarted, but because her rival had seemingly won.
“Rachel, Chase would never tell anyone anything that would hurt you.”
“I'm sure he finds it quite amusing that Searsville's schoolteacher is so dim that she can't discern friendship from courtship.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told him I thought the gift of the painting was too personal.”
“Yes, and what did he say to that?”
“He said it wasn't meant that way. Meaning, âI was just trying to be nice, not make an offer of marriage.' Oh Maria, it was humiliating.” Rachel stifled tears.
“Rachel, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I thought he felt about you the way you do about him; otherwise, I would never have pressed you to accept the gift. Would you like to pray about it?”
“Not just yet, but thank you,” she answered.
“How are things going with you and⦔ Maria's head nodded heavenward.
“We're still working on it,” she answered.
“Listen. Listen closely for His answers and know that He hears you.” Oddly enough, the words were very comforting to Rachel.
Chase Dylan walked up Gretchen's front walk. From the foyer window, he watched her run from the parlor, stop at the mahogany-framed mirror, and pinch her cheeks vigorously to bring up their color. She opened the door before he knocked and stood posed in a scarlet Christmas gown.
Chase didn't speak when she opened the door, so she began, “Chase, what a lovely painting.”
“Yeah, nice, isn't it?” Chase's answer was sarcastic, and he looked on Gretchen with disdain. “Is Henry here?” He was not in the mood for Gretchen's games today.
“He's outside near the lake, playing with his new trains. Would you like to see him?” Gretchen's voice was both optimistic and expectant, causing Chase to be aware of his rudeness.
“Gretchen, I'm sorry. I haven't wished you a happy Christmas. Have you enjoyed your holiday?”
“It's been very pleasant. Henry's been asking about you all day.” Gretchen stepped down onto the porch, pulled her gown around the door, and shut it behind her. “Let's go find him, shall we?” She rustled down the front steps.
Chase took her arm and escorted her to the lake. Once on the familiar path, Gretchen began, “Chase, we've been friends for many years now, isn't that right?”
“Yes, Gretchen, we have,” Chase agreed.
“We have both lived in Searsville
alone
for many years now.” Apprehension hit the bachelor as he realized what she was getting at. He had worked for years to avoid this conversation, but it was finally happening. There was no turning back; Gretchen Steele was making her move.
“Gretchen, I think⦔ Chase tried to steer the conversation, hoping to avoid an embarrassing situation for the widow.
“No, no, let me finish. I've avoided this long enough⦠I feel as though you have been a father to my son. I loved Harold with all my heart, I still do, but I can't continue to hold a torch for a man who is gone. I must think of Henry. Not to mention that I'm lonely in this big house by myself. What I'm trying to say is, would you consider becoming my husband, for Henry's sake as well as mine?” Gretchen's voice trembled, and she looked downward.
Chase lifted her chin and smiled sympathetically into the widow's face. She was still a beautiful woman, but Chase knew he felt only friendship for her. He also knew he could never settle for less than love in marriage. And he had seen how Harold's death had torn Gretchen apart, leaving her a bitter woman, separated from God.
“I loved Harold, too, and you know I love Henry. I think highly of you, Gretchen, but I cannot marry you. I love someone else. Maybe nothing will ever come of that, but I can't marry you regardless. It wouldn't be right.”
Gretchen left the path with a quick turn and ran toward the house with her hands shielding her disgraced face.
“Gretchen, wait!” Chase shouted. She stopped in her tracks. Tears streamed down her face and she reached for Chase, needing to be hugged, her vestige of pride apparently now gone. “Gretchen, you don't love me. I'm just all you have left of Harold,” Chase pleaded.
She sniffed and nodded. “In my heart, I know you're right, but I'm just so lonely and you've always been there for us. I know I can always count on you.” She continued to sob into his muscular chest as the sun went down on the crisp Christmas day.
T
he Sunday following Christmas, Rachel glared at her Bible on the dresser. It lay open to Proverbs. She idly walked over and slammed it shut.
Once again You've abandoned me,
she thought while staring heavenward.
“Chooch.” Seth's pudgy little hands reached for the book.
“Yes, honey. That's right, church. This is the Bible, the book from church.” Rachel had been very careful about upholding her former beliefs in front of Seth. She respected the Lathrops' right to teach their son whatever they wished, and would help them do so. That was only proper.
“Achel, chooch.” Seth nodded his head vigorously.
“Yes, today Rachel is coming to church.” The little boy reached for her hand and happily skipped from the room, leading her to the front door.
The Lathrops and Rachel reached the church and the family headed for their regular pew. Rachel sat alongside the aisle, with Seth seated contentedly in her lap. She sighed quietly in boredom and gazed about the room. Gretchen Steele's eyes met her own, and they narrowed in understood competition.
Pastor Swayles was especially optimistic for his New Year's sermon and smiled blissfully as the church filled to capacity.
“Today,” he shouted, to gain everyone's attention, “we will begin to celebrate the new year, 1864. It's a time to remember 1863 and praise the Lord for all of our blessings throughout the year and during our lifetimes.”
Yes, yes,
thought Rachel, rolling her eyes.
Let's thank God, even though He never gives us what we want. Let's blindly thank Him anyway, being the oxen we are.
“And let us not forget,” Pastor Swayles boomed, “what He gave to
all
mankind⦠He gave us His Son, an eternal gift that we've celebrated anew this past week, on Christmas Day! For those of you who have a child, I want you to think now of that child.” Pastor Swayles went on, and Rachel smiled lovingly at her precious Seth, enjoying the game. He felt like her very own.
“God brought that child into your life for a reason. He made that child the perfect fit for your life, and you love that child with all your heart.” The congregation mumbled in approval, and Rachel herself nodded her head in agreement, tightening her embrace around Seth.
“Now look at someone near you, someone who is not a member of your family.” The congregation did as they were told, happily eyeing and smiling at different people gathered about them. Rachel's delight at Seth was replaced by scorn as she focused intently on Gretchen Steele, the widow's own beady eyes staring back.
“Would you give up your child for that person?”
The very thought caused Rachel to shudder.
Give up Seth for that woman? I wouldn't give up the ranch dog for her!
Rachel was immediately disgusted and ashamed by her own thoughts.
When did I become so hateful? Mrs. Steele doesn't know any better, she's hurt because she lost her husband, that's what Maria says, anyway. How is it that Maria was able to forgive the awful things Gretchen said about her?
Rachel glanced at Maria and then back at Gretchen. Mrs. Steele was crying openly while holding on tightly to her son, rocking him gently back and forth as though he were a baby.
Surely a woman who loves her son like that isn't all bad.
“Well, that's what God did for you.” Pastor Swayles's thundering voice again interrupted Rachel's thoughts. “For God so loved
you,
He gave His only begotten Son. That whoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Think about those words today as we reflect on our lives. God loved you so much in 1863 that He sent His only Child to die, so that you might have eternal life simply by believing in Him. And He loves you just as much today, folks.”
The color drained from Rachel's face and her grip on Seth inexplicably released. He looked up questioningly at her blank face. “Achel?”