Love's Learning Curve (26 page)

“You okay, beautiful?” he asks, and I nod not sure what to say.  I’m a little embarrassed with how intimate that was.  I’m not a prude.  I knew that was a thing, but knowledge and understanding are very different things; experiencing it, understanding, and allowing myself to be open and vulnerable with him have changed me.

“Charlie, we don’t have to rush things, if you’re concerned about what’s coming next.  Holding you now in my bed is plenty enough for me,”

My entire body still tingles.  I’ve never felt anything like that.  It was an all-consuming pleasure with no ability for self-control.  My body still aches with a need to be close to him—to lose more of myself, every part of myself, in him.  It was over too fast, and I’m not ready to stop.  Even though I’m a little nervous, it’s not about having sex.  I just want to be enough for him.  I want this to mean something to him and not be just another notch on his belt.  But even if that’s all this will ever be to him, I still want it because, to me, it matters.  He does mean something to me, and that’s special enough to make it all worth it.

“Ty.”  I look at him searching for the words to convince him not to stop.  Not now.  I’ll beg if it comes to that, but it’ll take away some of the magic I feel.  I need him to want me as much as I need him and have us take this plunge together with equal desire.  “I want you.  Please, don’t push me away again.  Not after that.”  Our foreheads touch, never losing eye contact.  His fingers delicately trace all my curves. 

 Having his full attention on me, worshipping my body, makes me feel cherished.   With almost zero hesitation, he smiles.

“I couldn’t reject you even if I wanted to right now, buttercup.”  With the speed of a fox, he stealthily moves to my panties, damp from my climax.  Pushing them off my body and down my legs in fluid motion, he flings them across the room in the same direction my bra went earlier. 

Once I’m completely bare to him, he backs off the side of the bed.  Standing, he briskly removes his jeans and boxer briefs, never moving his eyes from me.  Once again, I’m his prey.  The hunger I see in his eyes radiates through his posture.  He stands stone solid, with his back straight, shoulders back, and feet planted strongly, displaying the ridges of every perfect muscle in his body.  My eyes fall to his hardened shaft.  Even after touching it briefly before, it’s much larger than I expected, leaving me to understand why the first time could be more painful for some women.  Considering the rewards and his ability to charm my body into a burst of pleasure, I feel a little pain is a bargain. 

My eyes wander his body, cataloging each feature and wanting to memorize the moment.  When my sight returns to his face, the urgency of his need to claim has hit the crest.  His wide eyes fixate on mine begging for acceptance.  He stays anchored and unmoving until the second our eyes connect moving to tear the foil packet and shield himself. 

He moves toward me with intention, and his touch registers with my body igniting the fire between us.  Our mouths devour each other, and his hardened body blankets mine.  When I feel the tip of his shaft kiss my entrance, my eyes open finding his staring back into mine. 

“Charlotte, I have very little control where you’re concerned.  I need you to tell me to stop if it’s too much or you change your mind.  Promise me.  Don’t let me fuck this up.” His voice strains as he pleads, but the worry in his glance shows me the value of this moment to him.

My arms lace around to his back, and I stroke the ridges of his solid muscles.  “I’m ready for you, Tyler.  I chose to experience this moment with you for a good reason.  Prove me right, please.”  His eyes flash just before our lips touch.  Our gaze stays connected as his shaft begins sliding into my folds.

His pace is wary and that only amplifies the burn.  I expected more pain, but I have a feeling it’s his tender touch that has eased that for me.  Now all I feel is full.  Once he’s seated fully inside me, the feeling intensifies, chasing away the lingering sting and amping up my need for more.  I’m eager for movement; I need it.  With a low moan, I wiggle my hips to encourage him to give me what my body needs.

My eyes close absorbing the pleasure as his do the same as he submits to the desire and pumps inside my walls steadily.  We lose ourselves in each other, partnering to please the other.   My body swirls with a climax near, every nerve ending alert.  I try to silence the whimper of bliss, but I can’t.  I’m so close to the edge.

He nips the corner of my ear.  His voice is strained but sexy.  “I’m close, Charlotte.  God, buttercup, I’m close.  I know you’re right there with me.  I can feel you clenching my cock.  Let go for me, baby, let go and give me all of you.”

He accelerates his stroke, pumping with more force than before.  I fall apart around him, mumbling an incoherent string of words as he does the same.

It took a lot more convincing than I ever thought it would to get Charlie to spend the night.   Waking up to her sleeping head resting on my chest and her body curled into me makes it all worth the effort.  We have a later start for practice today, and I have no classes.  As much as I’ve tried to convince myself not to wake her, I know she does have class today.  It was her reason for feeling like she shouldn’t stay last night, even though we both knew it was too soon to be separated for even a few minutes.

Sex is not new to me, and it’s always come easily.  Nothing I’ve felt physically with any others could ever equate to the force of emotions that Charlie somehow has power-driven into me. 

I feel things differently with her.

The non-negotiating urges leave me powerless.

My desires are no longer singularly selfish.

My passion, dreams, and goals are reconciled and recreated for a party of two.

I laid my eyes on her for the first time eleven days ago.  I’d love to convince myself I wasn’t attached from that very second and things fell into place naturally, but that’d be a lie.  Charlie is different.  With her, something just clicked.

With every other chick I’ve crossed paths with, I had a choice of whether to pursue her or pass.  I’ve never felt out of control until the beauty in my arms stomped her way into my world and made her presence known. 

From that point, my perspective changed and I’m not sure what the implications of that will be yet.  What I do know is I’m more willing to encounter the possibility of consequences with her by my side than I am to run scared from her.  She consumes so much of me that the idea of running seems futile.

What we have found together and with each other may not be
forever
, but she is for
right now
.  But if I do end up with luck on my side, and her forever, I’ll make sure I do everything in my power to keep her.

Years ago, my luck turned from the worst of the worst to the best.  I can’t be sure Charlie is part of the streak of luck, or if we just happened to be in the right place at the right time.  I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I’ll take what I can get and savor every second.

Softly, I run the backs of my fingers across her cheek trying to wake her ever so damn slowly.  Leaving this bed may kill me, and since she informed me last night that she’s busy for the next few days and I won’t be seeing her, I’ll soak up the time while she’s here.

I’m pissed at the world for no other reason than I can be.  And Bobby, being the jokester he is, thought today would be a good day to fuck with me.  I warned him more times than I can count, and I thought he’d gotten the message when I purposely threw a drive for his head.  He dodged it falling to the ground like a little pussy instead of trying to catch it, even though he had a glove on his hand. 

His comments progressively escalated after that.  It sucks that my advisor and soon-to-be agent, Scott, was sitting in the stands to watch my practice today and witnessed everything. 

I’m supposed to go to dinner with him tonight and discuss business unofficially.  Since he can’t actually represent me until I sign, he acts as my advisor, my sounding board, and is someone who can offer some knowledge on the business.  Scott found Coach Jacobs in my senior year of high school.  Many agents approached Jacobs in the early days, but Jacobs said he wouldn’t let me settle for anyone but the best, and Scott was definitely the best. 

Looks like Jacobs was right and I’ll have to call him later to give him the news.  The early draft speculations came out, and it looks like I may be one of the top five prospects.  Good news.  I should be floating on cloud fucking nine, but I’m not.  Not yet anyway.

I look over my shoulder shooting Bobby a glare warning him to be careful as we walk into the dugout to pack up our gear.  He’s pushing for a fight that won’t be in his favor.  This shit is on him.  But no matter where the fault lays, I’ll go down for my actions with him, so I’m just trying to get the hell out of dodge before things go further south.

He doesn’t take my offered warning and starts spewing his shit again.  “Dude, I was just trying to throw you a bone and give you some advice.  Apparently, that bitch has a tighter hold on your panties than I realized.  I’ll try to be more gen …”  My vision blurs, and I turn to launch at him. 

His body is pressed up against the painted cinder block wall of the dugout with my fingers spread grasping tight around his neck before he can finish the sentence.  No way can I pretend I didn’t hear that shit.  His airway closes unforgivingly under the pressure of my hold. 

“If you want to ever take another fucking breath again, you’ll carefully consider, remember, and take FUCKING heed to my words to you right now.  DO NOT EVER speak of her that way again.  As a matter of fact, just DON’T EVER speak of her at all.  Are we clear?”  I growl, fueled with rage, my free arm is pulled back ready to drive the hit of my closed fist to his face, my throwing arm. 

I hear Scott yelling and the others coming our way with raised voices, but I don’t have any clue what they’re saying, and I don’t really care, to be honest.  I continue my hold focusing more importantly on getting this bastard in my grip to agree to the terms I’ve offered, but he hasn’t.  His face is shading to a blueish color, and he’s lost the strength to fight back.  It’d be real good for him to agree with me right now so we can move on.