Love's Image (16 page)

“Thanks, Judd. I wish the decision were easy. Nothing’s clear to me.”

“Sometimes the right thing isn’t clear.”

Or maybe it’s clear and the selfish people in your life are trying to make it muddy
. Judd was dying to yell those very words at her, but he held back.

“We’ll just have to keep this in prayer and trust the Lord,” Judd said, feeling like he was giving lip service to something he wasn’t sure he believed at the moment.

“Yes, that’s what we’ll do.”

When she left to go home, Judd felt an emptiness in his chest. But it wasn’t nearly as painful as when she announced her dilemma to the Bible study group.

“It’s a difficult decision,” she said, “but the opportunity is there, and I feel like I at least need to consider it.”

Everyone crowded around Shannon, talking over each other, promising prayers and best wishes. Judd remained on the sidelines as he watched, feeling like the ground had been pulled out from beneath him.

Janie cornered him in the parking lot.

“How can you let her even think about doing this?” she hissed.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Shannon’s a grown woman,” he said.

“Do you love her?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Do you love her?”

Judd didn’t want to risk sounding harsh, but Janie had no right asking such a question. “I think that’s between her and me. I don’t care to discuss it right now.”

“I thought so,” she said as she backed away. “You’re gonna be sorry if you don’t stop her, Judd. I know how Shannon lets people jerk her around. When her mother decided she needed to go into modeling to fulfill her own dream, she pushed Shannon into it.”

“I’m sure Shannon didn’t mind. She’s done quite well.”

“By the world’s standards, yes, she’s done great. But I don’t think she’s ever been happier than she’s been since she started coming to church.”

“Let’s give her a chance to make up her own mind, okay?” Judd said.

Janie shook her head. “Like I said, you’re gonna be sorry.”

“Melinda’s right,” her mother said. “Just think of all the things you can do when you go back. If you stick around here, you’re so limited.”

Shannon shook her head. “I’ve got such a great group of friends here, though. I never had this feeling in New York.”

“You have friends everywhere. All over the world, thanks to your career.”

“They’re nothing like my friends here in Atlanta,” Shannon said.

“Is there one in particular?”

What was the point in not being honest? “Yes, you know there is.”

“I know you like this boy. What’s his name? Judd? Whatever. I’m sure he’s nice, but he’s not Armand.”

No
, Shannon agreed.
He’s not Armand, which is a good thing
.

“There are some wonderful churches up there, too. They’re all over the place.”

Shannon knew there were churches everywhere, so that wasn’t an arguable point. “I really missed Janie when I was in New York.”

“You’ll see Janie when you come to visit us.”

“It’s not the same.”

“But you can call her whenever you feel like talking. And there’s nothing stopping either of you from flying back and forth to visit. You make more than enough money to pay her way if you can’t get down here.”

This was another thing Shannon knew, but she also knew it wouldn’t happen. When she’d first left, she and Janie planned trips and talked about it for hours. It happened a couple of times, but both of them got too busy to keep it up.

“We tried that, but it was too hard,” Shannon said as she ran out of steam.

Finally, her mother drove the biggest point home. “You know all the sacrifices your father and I have made for you. This is something we’ve worked hard for. All parents want what’s best for their children, and this is what we’ve worked toward all your life.”

Shannon had argued in the past that modeling wasn’t her life’s goal, but then her mother had reminded her that all the classes, from modeling in junior high school to acting in high school, had prepared her for where she was today. Her mother even reminded Shannon that she hadn’t been able to have her own career in order to concentrate on making a good life for Shannon.

“Let me think about it some more,” Shannon agreed.

“Just don’t wait too long. There are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of girls waiting to take your place. You know what a dog-eat-dog world it is out there.”

Yes, Shannon did know about the kind of world it was out there—which was precisely the reason she doubted she wanted to jump back into it. Her life in Atlanta had begun to feel safe, and it made sense, unlike the insanity of the life she had in New York. Even her social life there was centered on her career. She had to be seen at certain events, which took all her free time. One of the reasons she and Armand had gotten so close was that they had the same obligations. They understood each other—or at least they thought they did.

A few days passed, and Shannon began to feel numb. Her mother’s words had gotten to her. With the sacrifices her parents had made, how could Shannon have considered abandoning what they worked hard to achieve? All her own desires had to take a backseat to what her mother wanted for her. Was this how the Lord chose to answer her prayers?

She’d been asking for answers—no, begging. And her mother had been very clear in her message.

One morning, right after Shannon had finished going through her apartment, dusting and tidying the place, her doorbell rang. She cast a quick glance at the wall clock and wondered who it could be at this hour. The only person who didn’t have a job with regular hours was her mother, and she was supposed to be at the club with some friends.

Shannon unbolted the door and pulled it open.

“Armand!”

Shannon felt as if her life had suddenly gone into freeze frame. The man she thought she loved, once upon a time, was standing at the door of her apartment, a bouquet of flowers in his arms and a wide, perfect smile on his lips.

She went numb, but only from shock. That flutter of the heart wasn’t there.

“Mind if I come in?” he asked.

“Not at all,” Shannon said as she stepped to one side.

He was dressed from head to toe in designer apparel, most likely that of one of the clients who paid him handsomely to show off clothes only the best-looking, perfectly shaped, chisel-featured men could carry off.

“You look fabulous, Shannon,” he said as his eyes focused on her cheek.

“Other side, Armand,” she said, turning her head and tapping the side of her face with her finger.

“Oh.” His smile faded as he glanced at her other side. He abruptly looked away. “You’ve healed … nicely,” he stammered. He quickly regained composure as he handed her the flowers. “For the most beautiful woman on earth.”

“Thanks.” She took them and turned toward the kitchen. “I’ll put them in water. Have a seat.”

It took Shannon a few minutes to stop shaking, so she didn’t hurry with filling the vase. Why hadn’t he called first? It wasn’t cool for him to have shown up on her doorstep without some warning, at least.

When she got back to the living room, Armand was still standing, looking very uncomfortable. “Nice place,” he said. “Something like this in New York would cost thousands of dollars a month.”

Leave it to him to think of money. She’d noticed that about him before, and it hadn’t bothered her. But now it did.

“It’s not cheap, even by Atlanta standards,” she said. “I like it.”

“I understand you’re thinking about coming back to work.”

She looked him squarely in the eye without blinking. “Yeah, and I heard you’ve been talking to Melinda.”

Armand shrugged as he darted his gaze away from hers. He wasn’t a good liar, which made this very easy. It wouldn’t take long to find out what his mission was.

“What’s going on, Armand? Why are you here?”

Holding his hands out, he said, “I just wanted to see you, sweetheart. We’ve been an item for a long time, and I missed you.”

“You missed me?”
Yeah, right
. She tossed him a crooked smile of disbelief as he squirmed.

“Yes, Shannon, I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had since your crash.”

That sounded a little too rehearsed.

“I’ve had a few sleepless nights, too, Armand.”

He came toward her, a look of genuine concern on his face. “Because of me?”

She shrugged. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, even after what he’d done to her. “Maybe.”

“It was awful for me, too.” His tone was a little tight, which she knew from experience meant he wanted something.

Now she couldn’t hold back. “It must have been really rough at the chalet in Europe,” she said, trying to mask the sarcasm.

“Harder than you can imagine.”

“Oh, I can imagine, all right,” Shannon said. She was amazed at how clueless Armand could be. “So what’s the deal? Melinda sent you here to make sure I come back?”

He opened his mouth, snapped it shut, then snorted. “Okay, so Melinda did ask me to talk to you. But that doesn’t matter. I’ve missed you, you’ve missed me, and that’s all that counts.”

“Actually, that’s not all that counts, Armand,” Shannon informed him. “I really did miss you at first, before I realized how little I meant to you.”

He gasped. “That’s simply not true, Shannon. You know I had to go to Europe for that photo shoot. You mean everything to me.”

“What’s your excuse for not calling?”

“You know how crazy the schedule is when you’re busy working.”

“Oh, yeah, the schedule.” Shannon sometimes worked twenty hours a day, three days in a row, just so the photographers could get the light they needed for a single picture.

“It was awful.”

“Who took my place?” Shannon asked. She just now realized she didn’t know, and until now, it hadn’t mattered. Amazing. That should have been one of the first things she’d found out when she got out of the hospital.

“Patrice Hunt,” Armand replied. “She felt terrible about what happened to you.”

“I bet she did. Patrice has been watching every move I make for years, just waiting for me to mess up.”

“That doesn’t sound like you, Shannon.”

Suddenly, she felt bad.
Catty
wasn’t an adjective anyone had ever used to describe Shannon McNab. She’d been known as a playful, athletic, kindhearted girl who just happened to look gorgeous enough to be on magazine covers, television commercials, and designer runways.

“You’re right, Armand,” Shannon said remorsefully. “That was wrong of me. Patrice is a beautiful model who was the perfect replacement.”

He reached for her. “I wouldn’t say the perfect replacement. No one could ever take the place of Shannon McNab. You’re the best model in the business.”

Shannon pulled back and took a step away from Armand. She didn’t want him touching her.

They stood and stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Armand took a tentative step toward her again, and she forced herself to stand still.

“I want you back, Shannon. I miss you something awful. Without you in my life, nothing seems real.”

A shiver ran through her. His words made her want to turn and run out of her apartment, but she couldn’t be rude. Armand hadn’t done anything all that terrible.

“Where are you staying?” Shannon asked to avoid responding to his comment.

“The Hilton.”

“Can we get together a little later in the day? I have someplace I need to be in about an hour.”

“Sure, sweetheart. I just had to see you as soon as I got to town.”

“Tell you what. I’ll meet you in the lobby of your hotel at six. We can go somewhere for dinner and talk then.”