Lovers and Gamblers (18 page)

She was drinking too much. And if that freak hadn’t broken into her apartment, God knows what she would have done. Perhaps she should thank him. OK, so she had no one – not one person who cared about her. But she had her health, her looks, her talent, and goddamn it, she was going to make something of her life. Success was not such a distant dream. She was known, she had done a TV show and a commercial. She was always in the gossip columns. She wasn’t some little unknown Miami hooker any more.

She formed a plan of action, and getting out of New York would be the first step. She would sell her jewellery and furs, and rent her apartment; that would give her capital. Then she would go to Los Angeles. She had received letters from a couple of agents who were anxious to meet her. She could go to an acting class there, she could study and learn. And if she was lucky enough to make it, she could have a baby. The thought delighted her. A human being. Flesh and blood that would belong to her. A little girl or a little boy, what difference, there would be someone she belonged to, someone who would eventually care.

* * *

Linda arrived back in the early evening.

‘What happened?’ she asked, disappearing into the shower. ‘Make some coffee and we’ll talk.’

Dallas made coffee, and without being dramatic told Linda exactly what had taken place.

‘Jesus!’ exclaimed Linda. ‘It’s unbelievable!’ But she knew it happened fifty times a day. ‘Why didn’t you call the police? Don’t answer, I know it’s a dumb question. Anyway I’m glad you came here. I just can’t believe you talked him out of it. Weren’t you petrified?’

Dallas shrugged. ‘I guess I just baulked at becoming another victim. I was so angry I forgot to be frightened.’

‘The trouble is if they ever caught him, all he’d probably get would be a telling-off and a three-month suspended sentence. Girl at my school got raped, she was fifteen and so was the boy. They ignored the fact that he held a knife to her throat – naughty, naughty, they said, and he was back in school the next week. The girl became a raving dyke and nobody cared.’

‘I feel together now. It was rough at the time but I’m over it. Thanks for the loan of your apartment, it’s so cosy here. I just crawled into bed and glued myself to the television. I can split now you’re back.’

‘You can stay if you like. I’m only here for a couple of days and I’ll be sleeping over at the hotel.’

‘Thanks, but I’ve got this urge to get out of New York. If you don’t mind I might stay while I sort things out. Who do you know that will give me a good price on my jewellery?’

‘Hey, if you need money I can come up with some. You don’t…’

‘No. I want to sell it. Thanks anyway. Really, Linda, you have been great. I don’t know how to thank you. I mean I could have moved in and ripped you off – anything…’

‘I knew you wouldn’t do that. You needed help – I was able to. If
I
need help any time I’ll be at your front door like fire!’

Dallas laughed. She had a friend, and it was a good feeling. Maybe Linda might have cared if she had taken the pills – maybe just a little.

‘How was Canada?’ she asked.

Linda made a face. ‘Al was a sensation, as I’m sure you’ve read everywhere. Paul was busy holding his hand. I took some good pictures.’

‘I haven’t seen any papers.’ Dallas paused. ‘How is Al?’

‘He’s screwed his way through Canada. America, here he comes! I was going to ask you the ultimate favour and see if you would come out with us tonight but I changed my mind – after what you’ve been through I certainly couldn’t inflict Al on you.’

‘I wouldn’t mind…’

‘You wouldn’t? Hey, that would be great. Paul seemed to think that you and Al were deadly enemies. According to Paul you’re the only female around who ever gave him a sharp no. As far as Paul is concerned Al has access to every woman in the world! I think Paul would be surprised if the Queen said no!’

‘Listen, I’ll come out. That doesn’t mean I’ll say yes.’

‘Sure. Look, I’ll give Paul a buzz and set it up.’ Linda smiled to herself. This was going to work out just fine. Maybe Paul was right, maybe Al was irresistible to most women.

She shut herself in the bedroom and called the hotel.

‘How did the television show go?’ she asked.

‘Didn’t you watch it?’ Paul sounded pissed off. Nothing unusual, lately Paul always seemed pissed off.

‘I forgot.’

‘That’s great. Al will be delighted to hear that when he asks your opinion.’

Linda almost laughed aloud. ‘Since when has Al wanted my opinion?’

‘Are you coming over?’

‘I thought we were going out.’

‘Al’s tired.’

‘Maybe he’ll revive when he hears who I’ve got him for a date.’

‘Who?’

‘Dallas. All set. Can we eat somewhere decent?’

Paul glanced over at his brother. He was immersed in a poker game with three men. The blonde hooker was draped over the back of his chair looking bored.

‘It’s a little late in the day for that lady to start changing her mind.’ Paul lowered his voice. ‘Al’s well taken care of for tonight.’

‘You mean he doesn’t want a date with Dallas?’

‘No way.’

‘Did you ask him?’

‘He’s sitting right here.’

‘Let me speak to him.’

‘Linda, don’t push it. Are you coming over or not?’

‘Not.’ She hung up the phone. Now why had she done
that?
A sudden show of independence, not such a bad thing. Let’s play see if Paul will call me back.

Dallas was washing her hair. ‘What shall I wear?’ she asked.

‘Forget it. Al’s taken a pill and gone to sleep.’

‘You’re kidding. It’s early…’

‘He’s got a big show at Madison Square Garden tomorrow. Tell you what, would you like to come and see it?’

Dallas shrugged. She felt suddenly let down. ‘I don’t know. Can I see how I feel tomorrow?’

‘Sure. But it’s worth seeing. The master is at his peak, and it’s some show.’

‘I’m sure it is. But right now I feel like taking each day as it comes.’

‘Of course. I’d feel the same way after what you’ve been through. What do you say? Shall we venture out to dinner on our own?’

‘Why not?’

They went to a small Italian restaurant, ignored the stares of the men, gorged on salad niçoise and fettucini, and talked.

‘Shouldn’t you be with Paul tonight?’ Dallas asked.

‘He’s holding big brother’s hand.’

‘Even while he sleeps?’

‘Al demands full attention at all times.’

Dallas shook her head in amazement. ‘I don’t know how you can stand it.’

‘I don’t know myself. Listen, strictly between us Paul has become a pain in the ass. I think maybe my being on the tour is a bad idea, and this is only the beginning. Can you imagine how I’m going to feel about him in a few weeks?’

‘It’s probably a good thing. Get your head together on your real feelings for him.’

‘Right now my real feelings are – ugh! Never get involved with a married one, kid.’

Dallas laughed. ‘You’re telling
me
. What the hell do you think Ed Kurlnik was? Married. Single. They are all shits.’

Linda sighed. ‘Sometimes they can be nice shits.’

‘Oh, come on. You know better than that.’

‘You’re very bitter, Dallas. Don’t let one guy who tried to rape you put you off the whole race. You’re too young and too beautiful…’

Dallas laughed. ‘Some day remind me to tell you about my past. That one guy was just one of many who formed my opinion on the entire male sex.’

When they got back to the apartment the phone was ringing. Linda picked it up quickly.

‘Where the hell were you?’ Paul sounded pissed off.

‘Out getting laid.’

‘Charming, really charming.’

‘Dallas and I went to Pinos and had some food.’

‘Oh. Do you want to come over?’

‘Just me?’

‘No, bring ten or twelve of your neighbours if that’s what gets you going.’

‘Funny. I meant…’

‘I know what you meant. Listen, sweetheart, I know she’s your friend and all that, but for Al she is bad news. I can sense it, got a feeling. Know what I mean?’

‘No, I don’t know what you mean. But if you’re offering me your fine English body I’ll be right over.’

‘I’m offering.’

‘I’m there.’ Linda put the phone down, turned to explain to Dallas, but she had gone into the bathroom. Linda knocked, but there was no reply. ‘I’m going,’ she called out. ‘See you tomorrow.’

Dallas stared at her reflection in the mirror. Bye-bye, Linda. He calls. You run. No wonder he treats you like shit. She waited until she heard the apartment door slam, then she emerged from the bathroom. It was twelve thirty. She felt very alone. She bolted the apartment door, double-locked it, checked that all the windows had safety catches fastened. There didn’t seem much else to do.

Reluctantly she went to bed. But sleep was a long time coming, and when it did creep up on her it was full of bad dreams.

The bomb scare came five minutes before Al was due to go on.

Bernie happened to take the call, and his heart lurched into a series of sharp palpitations as he heard the quiet, nondescript voice explain to him that three bombs would go off at three-minute intervals during the course of Al’s performance.

‘Fuck you,’ Bernie managed to scream down the phone before the line clicked dead in his hand.

‘Another fan?’ asked Al drily.

Bernie nodded, his mind racing. How the fuck had they gotten through to Al in his dressing room anyway? And why call him? Why not the newspapers? The police? Anyone but him. Why should he have to be the one responsible for the fact that there may or may not be three bombs waiting to blow up hundreds of Al’s fans? Jesus, wasn’t it enough that he had the press to deal with? Wasn’t that punishment enough?

Anyway, there was heavy security. It must be another hoax. Bernie frowned. Just pretend it never happened. Just sweat it out.

‘See you, man.’ Al was buoyant.

The gladiator off for the kill.

‘What the fuck,’ replied Bernie. ‘Give ’em your balls, baby.’

Al grinned. He was on top. Right on top. New York lay responsive and waiting like a particularly accommodating whore. He could do what he wanted. They had paid their money and they were ready to enjoy him, devour him, give him the greatest come of his life.

He strode on stage and was drowned in a mass sound-wave of screaming. He felt himself grow hard. The power hard-on. Boy, if he was fucking instead of singing he could go all night. He gave a boxer’s salute, waved, grabbed the microphone and launched right into ‘Blue Funk Rock’. The audience roared its approval.

* * *

Watching him, Dallas felt that she didn’t know him at all. She didn’t know him that well anyway. A few brief conversations, one dance, a strong attraction, that was just part of his whole charisma.

Watching him made her realize just how right she had been not to get involved.

This man rocking and weaving around the stage was public domain. He belonged to ‘them’, the people. He was, quite rightly, a superstar. She could see why. She could look at him objectively.

It all became clear. She had wanted him sexually because she was supposed to want him sexually. He was selling sex. So he had a great voice, but so did a lot of other singers. His appeal was the combination. The sexuality that radiated a message to every woman watching him.

Dallas smiled, it was a relief. She didn’t need him, she didn’t need anyone.

She glanced quickly at the fag hairdresser whom she had brought with her. He was entranced, his eyes bright, his body moving to the sound of Al.

She looked around her. Al seemed to have everyone mesmerized. She could recognize a few celebrities. Linda had given her exceptionally good tickets. Wasn’t that Marjorie Carter? And God – Ed Kurlnik. What was he doing here? The cheap bastard. She wasn’t sure, but it looked like he was with one of his daughters. Was it Dana? If it was, they had both been engaged to Kip Rey, so they had much in common. Kip had told her stories Ed would
never
believe about his darling daughter.

She wasn’t concentrating on Al. He had slipped away from her, a living, moving, phallic symbol, vocalizing obscene lyrics.

She forced herself to watch him, and gradually she too was caught up in the magic he weaved, the sheer magnetism of the man. But this time she knew, and by knowing the game she was safe, she could relax.

* * *

Al came hurtling off the stage, soaked to the skin.

Paul hugged him before he returned to his army of lovers. Linda captured the shot. If Paul loved anyone, it was Al.

She wondered what an analyst would have to say of the situation. Latent fag? Brother envy?

Why was there Al? Weren’t the wife and kids enough?

Although she couldn’t deny that Paul had been wonderful the previous evening. Kind, considerate, a caring lover. And they had talked long into the night and reconciled their differences.

They had both agreed that if her being on the tour screwed up their personal relationship then she would leave.

‘I love you,’ Paul had told her, ‘and when the kids are older…’

He should package it and Al could sing it!

* * *

The party was so jammed that Dallas nearly turned around and left. Her hairdresser wouldn’t let her. He pursed his lips and surveyed her coldly. ‘Truman might be here, darling, you can’t deny me
that
.’

The rumours abounded that simply everyone in town was there, and it seemed to be true. The photographers all but ignored Dallas and went in search of bigger game.

‘I think I’ll get drunk,’ she told her hairdresser, as if he cared. He had spotted someone who looked remarkably like Jackie O. and was entranced.

Dallas lifted a glass of wine from a passing tray. She could see Ed Kurlnik across the room, and it seemed like too good an opportunity to miss. She made her way over to him, ready for some sort of confrontation, not sure what to expect.

‘Hi, Ed,’ she said softly.

He was startled, panic flashed across his face, but he recovered quickly remembering that Dee Dee was safely in Europe. ‘Hello, Dallas, dear.’