Loved In Pieces (37 page)

We got ready for school a
fter breakfast
.
I gave
Manuel
a garage door opener to keep in
his backpack
so he could enter t
hrough the garage and avoid har
assment
.
Mom
had settled the PR disaster and we were free to be a public couple while Richard’s team worked with my publicist on the strategy for the
Constantine’s Muse
promotion.

“Alan is going to tease you.
You
know
every pic off the internet will be taped to your locker. You ready, Manuel?”

“You’re so worried about me, Marie. For the last four years of me being your best friend, you go through hell and back all by yourself while I’m in my little protected world. For like
three
months straight, I whined and cried over Kate. I must have texted you every day about some
girl I dated,
trauma or heartache. You spent all that time responding to my panicked emails and then my anger
and confusion. I’m sorry I was so dense.”

He put the milk and what was left of the fruit back in the fridge and started loading the dishwasher. I ha
d
a housecleaner who c
ame
every weekday to do that.

“Marie, even when you were leaning on me for help, I was listening to you but
didn’t have
any idea about what you were talking about. I was not really supporting you or being there for you because I had no concept of the heavy crap you really deal with.
I knew you
had
seen
more
crap at Hollywood parties
than I had
;
people do
ing drugs, having sex and stuff…
but seeing it
firsthand
just now with
Byron
, some guy who, y
a
know, and then right there
in front of us
, with his sick
“
let’s
share you” attitude
.
And the way Byron doesn’t shut up.
”
He followed me to my room.

He continued,
“
I watched your reaction to him. You’re strong with him with your words but so weak in your expressions. I really thought you want
ed
to try when I saw you blush but then your words
said
there was not a chance. Your face showed
total
sadness. You never show those expressions to me.
Then I realized that you had to put yourself back together
after
Evan,
Matthew
,
and
Byron
.
”

He
stopped me at my bedroom door
and
embraced
me. He
added, “Now I get it. I’m not as strong as you for sure. But I can handle Alan, and can handle being in public with you.
I hope you get out of this business soon.”

I closed my eyes, letting my body relax into him. “I won’t be able to stop ac
ting for many years and now it’
s not so bad. Let’s see. I’ve done seven films
not counting minor roles or cameos
. I’ve had eight male
co-star
s. Now I will choose to work with nice, professional men.
Maybe it’s not so bad?
I will be in control of the films and events I do.  Besides, I am never going to have a normal life. People will always stare at me…recognize me. Do you know people still recognize Tom? It’s been, what, nineteen years since his last film! He signs autographs!”

“Yeah, that’s wild. My dad signed an autograph a few months ago, too.
People still recognize
him.”

“What?” I didn’t know Carlos did anything except work at a delivery company. He met Liz delivering a package to her apartment nineteen years ago. I stepped back from Manuel and looked at him inquisitively.

“You didn’t know? How could that be? We’ve known you forever!” Manuel laughed. “My dad was in a Latino boy band. He was a teenage
d
heartthrob. He was huge!”

“What band?” I was shocked but then not. Carlos was
a head-turner
. It always seemed that people recognized him but I thought it was because he was gorgeous and I thought they recognized me
.
Liz and Manuel hated attention. They lived in that apartment. I thought it was Liz who would get money when she sold the apartment building. I didn’t know Carlos had money.

“El Ritmo.
He was
CB A.me.go
.
He worked on their first t
hree
of seven, maybe eight,
albums.”

“No way! I’ve heard their early songs. Everyone has. Wow. But you guys don’t act rich. Why do you live in the apartment? He must get a ton from his royalties. Doesn’t the band get a take every time the song is played on the radio or on a TV spot?”

“No, he doesn’t get royalties. He quit. He didn’t like the drugs, the sex, people telling him what to do.
He saw the same crap you’ve seen
.
His managers really exhausted them. He was like an employee of the El Ritmo product. When he quit, he got
nada
. He kept the money he already had but was not entitled to any more. He wasn’t part of a union like you are with SAG. He quit after they performed in L.A
to promote their
third
album
. They replaced him immediately. They just left him here and kept touring.
Ira Goldberg
took him in, wanted him to act. But he wanted out of the entertainment industry.
Ira was
nice; helped him
legally
get settled in Santa Monica. He took the delivery job to be busy. He likes to work. He was living with some chick when he saw my mom again.”

“What do you mean,
‘
saw your mom again
’
? I thought they met the day they conceived you.”

He laughed. “No!
Well, they did hook up the first day they met but I came a few years later.
” He kept laughing. “My mom was a set designer and met Carlos on his first music video.
Ira produced all of the music videos; that’s how
my dad
knew him. Mom
was actually in three of the videos from their first
three
albums
and worked on all
the
videos
. They were pretty good friends
and
dated
a lot since my mom spoke Spanish.
They got their first tattoos together.
Mom didn’t know what happened to him after he quit. When he delivered a package to her
apartment
, she told him she missed him and was in love with him. He felt the same way
and then they conceived me.”

“Whoa. I had no idea
that your dad was
CB A.me.go
.
That’s a sweet story.”
I laughed because I did think Liz
was
sleazy
before I heard the story. “
No wonder Carlos and
my dad
found each other. They had much in common. No wonder you think my career is awful.”

“
Actually, I’d like to go to the industry events with you when you need a date. I won’t say ‘no’ anymore, like I’ve done for the past
year
.
I don’t want you to be alone anymore, not just here in the house, but also at events.
I’m really here for you now.”

“
Hmm. Now that would be nice. I wouldn’t have to
go to an event with a co-star.
Cool,” I said. “So the Vespa or the Prius?”

“The Vespa,” he confirmed, and we headed out the front door.

Even though finals
we
re
the
next week, I had the best two weeks of my life. I
was
so happy.
Mom
’s film
was to
wrap in less than two weeks and she
w
ould get back the day before graduation.

Manuel stay
ed
every night and took off work
that
week to study.
I still
work
ed
out with Elise in the mornings so I d
idn
’t get up with him. It
was
Saturday
, the last day of the month
, so we
sle
p
t
in together.

He was in the bathroom and I was going back to bed, thinking of what fun thing we
w
ould do
that
day. I wanted to go somewhere since we
had
been trapped
in the house
studying. He wanted to see his family and thought we should all go to the Santa Monica Pier and boardwalk but Liz
didn’t like strangers staring at me and recognizing Carlos
.

Manuel
finished in the bathroom and came back to bed. “
Ya know
, this is none of my business, but I’m just curious. Did you think I had an STD or something?”

“What?” I was completely confused. “I’m not following you
—
whatsoever.”

“
Ya know
I’ve only been with Kate, and we were both virgins. Did she confide in you that she cheated on me?”

I turned my face away from his so he couldn’t see my reaction to his comment. I promised Kate that I wouldn’t tell him that she actually wasn’t a virgin.
Her first experience was
worse than my Matthew scare
when she was fifteen but
she ended up dating her prick for a year until she had enough. She thought dating Manuel was a gift from God
, a fresh start
.

I answered
,
“No, she didn’t cheat on you. She loved you.
” I looked at him again,
“
Manuel, what are you talking about?”

“I still think she cheated
. T
here was just no way she could have been pregnant. But, I don’t want to talk about that. Did you think I went wild after the break-up
when I dated all those girls
?”

“I knew you didn’t. I think I know everything about your relationships
.
”

Manuel dated a ton of girls from when Kate dumped him until he asked me to prom. He kissed them all, too, in search of somethi
ng. It made me insanely jealous, and
I counted. He kissed sixteen different girls in
less than
three months. Before he came down to my trailer
in San Diego
I assumed he slept with some of them
,
but he
told me he only kissed them
. He
let a few go too far
,
but felt bad about how he treated them, even though they were sleazy girls
that
Alan set him up with
.
I never asked him what he was searching
for
. But I was curious.

Manuel faced me on his side and pushed my hair off of my cheek and neck. He smiled at me and whispered,
“You do know everything so you shouldn’t have worried.”

“Worried about what? I’m really not following you…” I
asked,
still confused
, and put my hand over his tattoo so I wouldn’t have to see
Kate’s name
.

“Well, when we had sex, you always made sure we
were protected. Y
ou clearly don’t have a period since there’s no stuff in your bathroom and you’ve never complained of PMS. Since you were on birth control, you must have been scared that I was a slut monkey c
arrying around some disease.”

“I didn
’t think you had a disease. It’
s just a good, smart rule.”
I explained.

He was still curious. “Did you think you might have something?”

“No.
You’re my only
.”

“
I’m a good boy.
So
why
so careful with me
when you’re on the pill
?”

I smiled at him but he still looked at me wanting an explanation. “I’m not on birth control, Manuel. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and the medicine I’m on stopped my menstrual cycle. I haven’t had a period for years.” I stopped, thinking. The last time I remember taking my medicine was the last week of filming
Constantine’s Muse
.