LOVED (3 page)

“Why fuck. He’s a fuckin’ mental midget. I hate that fuckin’ shop. You know they fucked up Buster’s bike in 2010.
Fried the motor before he got off the lot. Know what they told him?” he asked.

I’d heard the story of Buster having the motor on his bike rebuilt a hundred times. He no more than got out of the dealership and half a mile up the highway before it flew apart. The dealership did nothing to assist in the repairs of their work. They responded that it was a high performance motor, and they didn’t warrant high performance motors.

“No, what?” I asked.

“Fuckers told him it was a
hi-po motor and they didn’t repair hi-po motors.
Why fuck fellas, you’re the ones that made it a hi-po.
It was bone stock when it went in, came out a hi-po. I’m afraid I’d have had someone’s head on a stick over that deal,” he shook his head and looked around the house.

“Love the place, Doc,”
he nodded his head as he looked around the room.

Kelli and Heather ran from the living room up the stairs.

“I just had Kelli go to that place on Rock Road and pick out whatever she wanted that day you and I went to the bar last week. They delivered everything that afternoon,” I said as I looked around.

“Surprised your weird ass let her do that. You’re odd as fuck, Doc. Especially when it comes to houses,” Teddy laughed.

“Now where’s that beer?” he asked again.

“I have a bunch of imports in the fridge and in the shop,” I said, pointing into the kitchen.

“Do I look like I drink imports?” Teddy said as he raised one eyebrow.

“We’re going to the garage,” I screamed up the stairs as Teddy and I walked past the stairway.

“Okay,” a half audible tone came from upstairs.

“Man,
them girls is something else, huh?” Teddy asked as we walked outside.

“Jesus, Kelli is opening up. She’s a different person since we moved in here,” I laughed.

“Shit, Doc. Act like you didn’t know that little gal was a handful. That’s why you like her. She’s gonna give you a run for your damned money,” he chuckled as he slapped me on the arm.

“Shit
fuck, Doc,” he said as he opened the door to the garage.

“What?” I asked.

“God damn, you buy two lifts?” he asked as he looked around the shop.

“Yep.
I had them delivered a few days ago. Kind of nice having a place to store the bikes for the winter. I figured I could tinker with them on the lift for off-season. Figured I’d buy that Glide. Fucking bastards,” I said, thinking about the over-priced Harley dealer.

“I’d like to light that place on fire, I’m
tellin’ya,” Teddy shook his head as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer.

“You and I agree on that one,” I laughed.

“Band gonna be back there?” he asked as he pointed to the rear of the shop.

The house that we had purchased had an attached garage. Additionally, it had a detached garage or shop beside the driveway that was forty feet wide and sixty feet long. It was large enough to have farm equipment in, but there was no need. It served me perfectly to keep my motorcycles in, and have an occasional party.

“Yeah. I figured they’d get set up in the rear of the shop. Hell, it’s still eighty degrees outside, we can open the doors and let them play,” I responded.

“Get that kid from down town? Timmy Jonas?” he asked.

“Yeah. Kelli talked to him. He lived there in her building, and she didn’t even realize it. He’s good to go,” I said.

“Well brother, should be a good time. So, you settled in yet?” he asked.

“We’ve got it all moved in. Hell, Kelli has every damn thing in place. She’s amazing like that,” I responded as we walked toward the rear of the shop.

“No, I mean having a girl live with ya, Doc. You adjusting all right?” he asked as he took a drink from his bottle of beer.

I stopped and looked around the shop. My feelings should be difficult to explain, but my response came easily as we walked together.

“Teddy, I love that woman. Being with her is where I belong. It may seem strange to you, or for you to hear it, but it’s true. Living here with her has allowed me to exhale. For once in my
life, I feel like I can let my guard down. I can be myself around her. Hell, I don’t even know if I know who I really am. I think I’m finding out,” I shook my head and laughed.

“I’m doing and saying things that I never would have guessed. I’m not trying to impress her, or win her heart; hell that’s done. But I see myself and what I am doing - it just seems strange. Strange and kind of comforting,” I stopped and turned to Teddy.

“Doc, right is right. And wrong’s wrong. Pretty much. So, if it feels right, it is. Guy don’t need him a sheep skin from college to know that. If it’s right, let it be. Don’t seem weird to me. Hell, don’t you dare say a word, but I’m thinking about asking Heather to marry me,” Teddy said as he rubbed his beard with his left hand.

“Holy shit, Teddy.
Well…” I paused and thought.

“
Well what?
Don’t matter, Doc. Don’t matter if it’s been a month since I met her, six months, or six years. It’s either right or wrong. There’s always what we think and then there’s what we
know
. I know this - I love that woman. Ain’t much sense in trying to tell myself anything otherwise. I look at it this way - it’s my damned
job
to keep her happy. Marryin’ a girl is making her dream come true. So if it’s inevitable, just as well get it over with,” he said as looked down at the floor.

“I was just thinking,
sorry. I agree with ya, brother. It’s no shock to me. Hell I’m happy for you if you two get married. It’ll sure make Kelli jealous,” I looked at the floor and thought of things changing between Teddy and I.

“Like how I did that?” he raised his eyebrows and took a drink of beer.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Used a big word for ya,” he responded.

I squinted and shook my head, not quite understanding his question.

“
Inevitable
. Used it a minute ago. Was kinda proud of myself. Hell, Heather has me readin’ shit damned near every night on a Kindle. Crazy little girl bought me my own. I’m gonna try and use one new word a day – well, might not be
new
, but it’ll be new to
me
using it,” he laughed.

I shook my head and smiled. Before I could say a word, he spoke.

“
Circumspect.
That’s a sum bitch there. Had it in a book I was reading last night. Had to look that fucker up,” he tipped his bottle up.

“Being aware of all the shit around ya, Doc. Being aware.
Circumspect. Hell, I’m circumspect,” he laughed.

“Reading books is good for you, Teddy,” I laughed, “who
says bikers are a bunch of dummies.”

“Hell I never heard that one before,” Teddy laughed.

“Grab a few beers, let’s go inside,” I said, wondering what the girls were doing.

As we turned to walk to the refrigerator, I noticed the girls walking through the door into the shop.

“I’m so excited, how much longer,” Kelli asked.

“For what?”
Teddy screamed across the shop as we walked toward the door.

“Ti
ll everyone gets here,” she laughed as she walked toward me.

“Hell Sis, party has been cancelled. Didn’t you hear,” he laughed.

“Timmy is gonna show up, he said he was. He and I will have our own party,” Kelli laughed.

“Timmy Jonas is
comin’?” Teddy asked with a surprised tone, “hell, he’s fuckin’ famous. Who rounded him up?”

“I did,” Kelli answered proudly as she raised her finger in the air.

As Teddy hugged Heather and reached into the refrigerator, he spoke.

“Call em’ back Do
c, tell em to come. This mother-fucker’s gonna be a party to remember,” Teddy stated.

“
Our
party,” Kelli said as she put her arms around my waist.

“Ours,” I confirmed.

I liked the sound of that.

Ours.

GENE
. “Well, if I asked you to guess, what’s your best guess?” I asked.

“Hard to say, Mr. Parks.
Could be six months. Might be three weeks. It’s just a number that we can’t define. There are no assurances. With the dialysis, maybe six months,” the doctor responded.

“That an educated guess, Doc?”
I asked.

“Yes sir. I wish I had better news. And with your age and your blood type, a donor is
pretty close to being out of the question,” he said.

Doctors don’t sugar coat a damned thing.

When I was in the military, I always wondered what would happen if I was shot. It was a constant fear of mine. My blood type being AB negative made me a candidate for dying if there was ever a circumstance that I needed blood and needed it fast. As I stepped out of the gown and began to get dressed, I wondered if any amount of money could buy me a kidney.

“Doc, hold up a minute,” I said as I raised my hand.

“Doc, you know I have more money than most. Does that help?” I asked, hopeful of an affirmative answer.

“It helps, Gene. But, having your blood type, and at your age, it’s just…well, there are people that have waited
years.
You don’t have years. I’m sorry we don’t have better answers for you,” he said as he looked up from the floor.

“Anything else?” he asked.

I shook my head slowly from side to side, “No sir.”

I had lost one
kidney just before Kelli was born. I was damned near forty years old at the time. They attributed the loss from being exposed to Agent Orange during the war. They explained then that I may lose the other at any time. I liked to imagine the chemical company that made Agent Orange never suspected that it would kill all of the foliage in the jungle but not kill the soldiers, sailors and Marines that were in the jungle.

That God forsaken war was going to kill me one way or the other.

“Thanks, Doc,” I said as he opened the door.

Having between a few weeks and six months to live puts things into an entirely new perspective. What was important
now seemed unimportant. What isn’t or wasn’t important all of a sudden becomes so.

My mind raced.

Life is a mystery that will go unsolved. It is not to be figured out, it’s to be lived to the best of our abilities. I have no regrets and nothing to be ashamed of. To me, I have solved life.

Being without regret.

Receiving fire in Vietnam never made me
worry
about dying. In the war, death was something that crossed my mind from time to time, but it wasn’t a constant thought or concern. Now, having the knowledge that death was inevitable was not something that set very well in my stomach.

I walked to the bathroom and placed my hands on my thighs. As I bent my knees and lowered myself to the floor, I began to cry.

KELLI.
“To make a long story short, we didn’t come here to get sober. After this one, we’re going to take a little break,”
Timmy Jonas said into the microphone.

“
This one is for Doc’s baby girl,”
his voice crackled through the speakers as he began to play
Stony Larue’s Long Black Veil.

“Shit Doc, you gotta dance to this one,” Teddy said
as he grabbed Heather’s hand.

Erik placed his right hand over my shoulder, and we began to dance. As we did, Teddy and Heather joined in beside us. Dancing with Erik seemed surreal. I never would have guessed my life would come to a point that something like this would be happening to me.

I was in love.

In love with a man that loved me back.
Just like it was in the book.

Trying to make sense of everything was overwhelming and I wondered when something was going to go wrong. Some part of my life had to fall apart sooner or later; this was too good to be true. Erik and I went from meeting each other to this in six months. I was living in a dream, and I never wanted it to end.

Erik moved my hair away from my ear and his mouth moved close enough I could feel his breath.

“Who baby girl?” he whispered into my ear.

As we danced, I poked him in the chest with my index finger.

“I like to hear you say it. Who baby girl?” he asked again.