Love Unscripted (99 page)

“
This last week, when everything turned to shit, that was a new low for me,” he admitted. “The lowest I’ve ever been.”

I laughed lightly. “I think I found a new level of low, ten floors down below the pit of despair.”

Ryan chuckled in agreement. “So what do you think all that misery means?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Well, for me… I think it means that I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you.”

He softly kissed my lips. “So if we both feel the same way, and we’re absolutely miserable without each other, then there can’t be anything impulsive or short-sighted about it, can there?”

I smiled and shook my head. “No, I guess not.”

The visions of a blissful future with this man I so desperately loved enveloped me in warmth. He was here in this room, in this bed, holding me once again!

How profoundly different this moment was from yesterday! The train that had been derailed, causing the unfortunate death of thousands of bits of my soul, was miraculously put back to right on the tracks again and all the dead suddenly got better.

Ironically, it only took several seconds after that for the remnants of my memory, recalling when my heart was shattered underneath the train, to creep back into my throat. I stared at the ceiling to collect my thoughts.

“
I know what our problem is. We’ve both been cheated on, dumped, and wronged so many times that our pasts are keeping us from moving forward.”

Ryan slipped out a sliver of a laugh.

I gazed back into his eyes. “You thought that I was with Kyle - that there was something going on behind your back. And I thought you were going to leave me for someone like Lauren, who wasn’t all banged up and wrecked. We lost faith in each other.”

“
I know. And I know these rings don’t erase what happened between us.” He adjusted the oval garnet on my right hand. “But they aren’t just jewelry to me either. Inside each of them is a message – a message of my commitment to you. I want you to be my wife, my partner, and my only lover, Taryn... forever. My eyes will never wander from you.”

“
Neither will mine.”

“
Then maybe we can help each other to trust more. Honey, neither one of us is a cheater. I’ve
never
done that to anyone I’ve ever dated – I’m guessing that you’ve never cheated on your past boyfriends either. We both know how much it hurts to be betrayed like that. So maybe we just have to always remember that it’s not in either of our personalities to be unfaithful. And I can tell ya that once we both say ‘I do,’ divorce is
not
an option - ever. We work through the crap, okay?”

I thought about why I’d been living in the pit of despair and surviving through years of broken promises.

“
I know, but infidelity is still a deal-breaker for me,” I muttered. “You have to promise me that if I’m not… if you ever have that need, desire for something that our relationship is missing… if some actress…”

“
You’ll be the first to know – way before it ever comes to that. I promise.” His fingers drifted down my cheek. “And the same goes for you too! We talk about it – we fix it, we don’t let it break us apart,” he emphasized. “Regardless of how many completely screwed up, psychotic people try to meddle in our relationship!”

“
This time, I’m killing anyone who tries,” I kidded. “Speaking of which…”

“
What?” he softly urged.

“
I want you to be completely honest with me and tell me if you are going to be working with girls you have intimate knowledge of. I know it’s uncomfortable and you’re going to be reluctant to hurt my feelings, but it will keep me from freaking out if I know all of the ugly details beforehand. I don’t want to hear about it from other sources or see it on the magazine covers in the grocery store. Not knowing that kind of stuff and then seeing it on TV does not help me trust you.” I figured that would help put my mind at ease.

“
Deal. That list of actresses is very small, by the way,” he added. “Okay, while we’re being open… no more Kyle. I don’t want him in the bar or anywhere near you, calling you, bringing you gifts or soup – ever again. And the same goes for all the other guys who come sniffing around my future wife.”

“
Don’t worry. I don’t want to
ever
see Kyle again,” I stated, recalling the moment of terror in the pit of my stomach when he had me crammed in the door jam. “I told him I’d get a restraining order if he ever came around again.”

Ryan was dead serious when he put his foot down on the “Kyle and other guys” subject. There was no humor in his tone.

“
You know, this double-standard of yours isn’t very healthy either,” I muttered.

“
What double-standard? What are you talking about?”

“
Oh, come on! You have to admit you are a lot more jealous than I am. I’m not allowed to accept soup from some guy but you get to kiss hot actresses? And then you got pissed at me when I questioned all the ‘alone time’ you were spending with your ex-girlfriend? You would have been completely unbearable if Kyle and I had a romantic past. Hell, you probably would have had a barbed wire fence and extra guard dogs installed around me if that was the case!”

Ryan huffed loudly.

“
Considering what comes along with the Ryan Christensen territory, I’d say I’ve been maintaining my understanding and jealousy fairly well.”

“
Yeah, you have,” he agreed. “Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s just… I know how men think. Food, sex, sleep – not necessarily in that order either. I was onto Kyle the first minute I saw him. I knew the game he was playing.”

“
Ha! And you don’t think women play the same games?” I changed my voice to imitate Lauren and batted my eyes at him. “It’s all right, Ryan. I’m happily involved with Lucas. You can talk to me. Here’s a shoulder to lean your head on – right next to my boobs. She probably checked out your crotch every time you had to kiss her just to see if she made your pants fit tighter!”

Ryan laughed at me.

“
You laugh! I’m serious!”

He rolled over, playfully grabbing my rear. “My crotch only bulges for you, dear.”

“
Yeah, right,” I teased.

We spent a good portion of Sunday morning in bed, arms and legs entwined, enjoying the solitude and peace that came from being together.

Ryan looked at my alarm clock. “Come on… time to get out of bed. We have to get showered and dressed,” he said, tossing his portion of the covers over my head.

“
Why?” I asked, studying his face long enough to know he knew something I didn’t.

Playfully he grabbed my ankle, pulling me across the bed.

“
We don’t want to be late for
our party
,” he chuckled, reaching for my hand. He helped me up onto my feet.

“
What party? What are you talking about?”

“
You really had no clue, did you?” he said, grinning in astonishment.

My vision was distorted when my eyes scrunched together, still not having a clue as to what he was talking about.

“
That I was going to propose to you?” He tilted his head, smiling as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

I mashed my lips together and shook my head, slightly embarrassed. “I thought your parents came here to move you out of the apartment.”

“
I think I’m going to buy Marie and Tammy new cars.” Ryan laughed lightly to himself.

An hour and a half later, we drove up to Marie and Gary’s house to attend our private engagement party. Ryan’s parents were already there, waiting for us.

I still could not believe that the last two days had really happened. Ryan and I were still madly in love, his symbol of his commitment clad in diamonds around my finger, and all of my heartache was almost completely forgotten.

“
I guess I should call Pete, find out what time they are coming for poker,” I said out loud.

Ryan twisted the cap back onto the bottle of soda and set it back in the refrigerator. “We’re not playing poker tonight,” he informed. “It’s just you and me tonight. We’re going out.”

“
Out?” I was shocked. We had rarely ever gone “out” before.

“
Yep. I’m taking you out on a date… a proper date,” he corrected. “Go get dressed.”

He pulled his jeans up onto his hips and grabbed a clean shirt off of a hanger in the closet.

“
So where are we going?” I asked.

“
I have no idea. Out to dinner, bowling… it’s your choice. We’re going to try and have a normal date, even if I have to wear a disguise. I’m taking you out.”

We drove to one of my favorite local restaurants. I looked at my watch, noting the time, so we wouldn’t be late for our next stop.

Ryan tapped me in the foot under the table and snickered to himself when I flinched. We were sitting in a booth all the way in the back corner of the restaurant, well out of the way of most eyes.

“
So, my beautiful fiancée,” he teased, “where to next?”

I took a sip of soda to wash down my last bite of pizza, tapping my foot in rhythm against his.

“
Movies,” I answered casually. “George Clooney’s latest flick is playing at the Galaxy Theatre.”

Ryan tried to look unaffected, but I could tell he was freaking out thinking about being around crowds and the public. He even wrapped his scarf an extra loop around his neck to cover half of his face when we got up to leave.

He tugged my hand as we walked in opposite directions. “Um, Honey… car is this way?”

I stopped and held my ground, pulling him towards me. “Theater is only three blocks down the street. See the marquee lights? It will be okay. Let’s walk.”

We held hands as we casually strolled down the empty sidewalk in the dark. No one noticed us; no one even knew we existed. It was wonderful.

I squeezed his hand tightly in mine, completely bewildered that he was finally here with me. My heart that was once so devastated with thoughts of losing him was now being stitched back together, like it was never shattered in the first place. His love for me was just the glue I needed, restoring me back to whole.

I knew I could never make the same mistakes again. My insecurities needed to be replaced with trust and assuredness. I would never doubt his love for me or his intentions to have a long life together. Still, I was afraid that if I blinked too many times that I would wake up from this wonderful dream of togetherness.

“
That was good pizza,” Ryan said, trying to stifle a burp, but failing at it. His body was making all sorts of noises.

“
If your fans only knew!” I teased, giving him a nudge with my hip. “It would definitely
blow
your whole mysterious, sexy image thing! That was weak, by the way. I’m hardly impressed. I give that one a 2.7.”

“
See, this is why I love you. You don’t judge my foulness, you grade it!” He wrapped his arm over my shoulder, putting me in another teasing headlock. I reached up his jacket, playfully retaliating by tickling him in the ribs.

Ryan nodded his chin towards the theater after he twined my fingers back into his. “I bet you a million bucks that George Clooney has his vile moments too,” he joked.

“
There’s no way I’m taking that bet! I’m smart enough to know that underneath the movie star facades and special effects makeup are nothing more than beer-drinking, burping, fartypants men.”

“
Yep,” he and his body agreed. “But put us in an Armani tux and we look good!”

The Galaxy Theatre was one of our town’s historic landmarks, having been in existence since the 1930’s. It had the old style ticket booth and fancy marquee lights illuminating the title of the feature movie. By the time we reached the theater, no one was in line.

We purchased a bucket of popcorn and a soda at the tiny concession stand and then made our way into the dimly lit theater.

“
This place is cool!” Ryan whispered, loosening his scarf just a bit. We had the back row all to ourselves. I noticed him glancing around at the interior - the art-deco wallpaper, thick red velvet drapes bordering the stage, ornate chandeliers and sconces on the walls – it was very reminiscent of an era when films shaped our society.

Ryan stuck his hand in the bucket of popcorn, laughing at the silliness of the old Tom and Jerry cartoon that played on the screen. He was able to enjoy an entire night out without any interference from the paparazzi or enamored fans.