Authors: Tina Reber
“
So you mean to tell me out of all those crazy fans of his there isn’t one still scaring or threatening to hurt you? You don’t need to lie to me, Taryn! I can tell by the way you’ve been so jumpy lately that something is going on.”
My pulse quickened and I froze in place. I was starting to think that the only person I needed to be protected from was Kyle.
“
Kyle, Ryan has hired another bodyguard for me. It’s not your job to worry about me.”
Kyle scowled at me. “I don’t know why you felt the need to do that,” he groaned defensively. He apparently didn’t like that piece of news at all.
I swallowed hard and chose my words, almost begging him to understand.
“
Kyle, I’m not your concern. I’m not yours to protect. I know you know that.” I hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes.
Kyle’s demeanor frightened me; it was obvious he was hurt and bordering on anger.
“
I have a detective reviewing any letters I get that threaten me,” I lied. “The detective thinks that the latest letters I’ve received are coming from someone who lives here, not someone who has travelled here.”
Kyle shifted his weight on his barstool.
“
He also thinks that the sender is male,” I continued, embellishing my lie and going with my hunch. “It’s amazing how they can figure things out like that.”
Kyle took a sip of his beer and set it on the bar. He stopped making eye contact. “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting letters?” He returned to glower at me.
“
Kyle?” I called out to get his attention. “Whatever it is that you’re doing, please… please stop. It’s not healthy for either one of us.”
His lips twitched and he looked astonished. “Are you accusing me of something? You have something to say, just say it!”
I tried to come up with an appropriate defense but I was powerless under his glare.
“
Is this what you really think of me?” he asked warily. “Do you honestly think that I would do something like that? That I would be capable of hurting you?”
“
Kyle, I don’t know what you’re capable of. You know I’ve committed my heart to another man, yet here you sit.” If Kyle was going to be angry with anyone, I wanted it to be me.
“
Taryn, I care about you. That’s why I’m here. And it kills me to see someone as wonderful and beautiful as you are wasting your love on someone like Ryan.” He gritted his teeth.
“
You said to me once that I put myself between people who need protection and those who mean to do them harm.” He looked me right in the eyes. “At least I don’t make out with all sorts of women for a living. And one day when that man that you love so much has a slip of judgement and takes his acting too far with some other woman, who’s the one who will live with regret? He’ll only be sorry for a minute. You, on the other hand, will be shattered.”
I turned my glance away. His words stung like a thousand needles.
“
I keep hoping, Taryn. Hoping that your eyes will open up and you’ll see the heartache before it hits. Once he breaks you, it will take a strong man to put you back together. You deserve a better future than that!”
My thoughts traveled a new course, back to the safe, familiar road that didn’t lead to heartache. Maybe I’d be better off alone again?
“
I’m here because actions speak louder than words,” he said, suddenly looking hopeful.
His statements stoked up the fires under my deepest fears. As much as I wanted to cling to the thought of Ryan’s undivided love, part of me still faltered.
“
Can’t you see he’s trying to rip us apart?”
Ryan’s voice echoed through my heart, shouting at me not to listen to Kyle.
“
I love you. Never doubt that,”
my love reminded me, the memory of his lips brushing on mine when he spoke those words made my mouth tingle.
“
Kyle…” I shook my head. “This… this has to stop. Please. I think it’s time for you to leave.”
He huffed, completely shocked by my reply. With one long gulp, he finished his beer and set the empty bottle down on the bar.
“
Fine. I’ll see you later,” he muttered. Kyle gathered his keys and slipped his jacket on.
“
No, you won’t,” I said as I stepped closer to him.
“
Tell Ryan he will have to try harder if he wants me out of the picture,” he muttered over his shoulder.
“
Kyle, don’t force my hand,” I whispered. “Let go and walk away, with dignity.”
“
Is that what
you
really want?” he asked, his tone was sharp but at the same time, pained.
“
Yes,” I stated without hesitation, although it pained me to say it. “Goodbye Kyle.”
I watched as Kyle stormed out of the pub. He never looked back.
“
Everything all right?” Marie asked. She had been watching the entire conversation from the opposite end of the bar.
I nodded, hating myself for hurting him.
“
Is he planning on coming back?” Marie asked.
“
I don’t know. I hope not. My nerves are so shot,” I muttered. “I didn’t even get my period this week from all of this stress.”
I thought about Ryan’s attempt to get Kyle stationed elsewhere and how that didn’t seem to work. I reached in my pocket for my phone; Ryan needed to be informed before he flew home. I would never put him in harm’s way.
Ryan still had his jacket on when
he snuck into the pub through the kitchen door. He was supposed to call me when he was on his way from the airport, but instead of a phone call, he decided to surprise me. He came right behind the bar and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me off quickly into the kitchen.
He set me down to rest on one of the new stainless steel counters and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
“
Oh God, I missed you,” he said while kissing me.
I giggled lightly. “I missed you too!”
He let me go long enough to hastily pull his jacket off.
“
What do you think…of the kitchen?” I managed to mumble. His tongue was quite a distraction.
“
Uhuh,” he muttered, kissing me harder. The kitchen was dark and his eyes were closed. “Looks… great.” His mouth locked tightly on mine.
“
It’s good to be home,” he finally sighed, giving us both a moment to breathe again.
It didn’t take us long to grab his bags and make our way upstairs to the apartment.
“
It’s been a long day,” Ryan said, yawning. “I haven’t been sleeping well at all,” he murmured on my neck. He pulled me tighter to his body and adjusted his head on his pillow. “I’ve discovered that I can’t sleep without you in my arms. I’ve been forced to hug a pillow every night,” he said sadly. “It’s just not the same.”
“
I know what you mean,” I whispered. “This bed is cold and empty without you in it.”
He kissed me softly.
“
Oh sweetheart, I know it’s tough to be apart, but you know it’s not permanent. I’m going to try and come home as much as I can… it’s going to be hard though because we have a really tight shooting schedule. If you come down for a few days and I come home for a few days it won’t be so bad. The next couple of weeks will fly by.”
I sighed. Our relationship was like one giant hurdle after another, where crossing off each day on the calendar was the goal.
“
What’s wrong?” he asked, kissing my nose.
I shrugged, not sure of how to answer him.
“
Tar, Honey?” he whispered. “What’s on your mind?”
“
We’re going to be like two ships passing in the night,” I muttered, knowing we would be apart more than together.
“
Hey…” Ryan propped his body up on his elbow. “Don’t worry. I know this year will be rough, but everything is going to work out.”
“
I just don’t want our
life
to fly by,” I whispered.
“
Some days it will, and some days it won’t. We have to be thankful for what we have. Just think how all those families have to cope when one of their loved ones goes overseas for military duty. At least we get to see each other often and we can talk on the phone every day.”
Ryan crawled onto me, playfully biting me on the neck.
“
You worry too much. Besides, I have it all figured out,” he murmured devilishly on my skin.
“
Oh you do, do you?” I snickered. I rubbed my hands over his shoulders and down his back to massage his muscles.
“
Mmmhmm,” he murmured, kissing my cheek. “We’re going to take it one day at a time - together.”
I was still kissing him when I blinked. Our thirty-six hours together flew by and was quickly coming to an end. Ryan had a Sunday night flight back to Miami.
“
Hey Mike!” I hugged Ryan’s faithful bodyguard when he came to pick Ryan up for their trip to the airport. “You taking good care of my man down there?” I asked.
“
You know me, Taryn. I carry a big stick!” Mike joked.
“
Good! Keep all of those fans off of him!” I laughed.
“
Fourteen days,” Ryan whispered in my ear. “Bring your swim suit, ‘cause I’m sneaking you off to the Keys for a day.”
I grinned at him. “I can’t wait! You have everything you need?”
“
Yeah, I have enough clean clothes now to last me a while. Kiss me, we’ve got to go.” Ryan nuzzled me.
“
Mike, don’t forget Ryan’s guitar.” I picked up the case. “Do you want me to carry it out to the car?”
“
No. Just stay inside, Taryn. The paparazzi are out there,” Mike groaned.
“
I love you, Honey.” Ryan kissed me. “I’ll call you tonight when I get to the hotel.”
The second the back door opened, cameras started to click. I saw Ryan quickly jump into the black sedan before our new steel door closed completely behind him.
The beginning of February brought bitter cold and a fine layer of snow and ice to Rhode Island. It also froze in place a few other annoyances – several paparazzi still lingered behind.
I was cleaning up the bar Tuesday night when Cory pounded on the front door. I had closed early on account of the bad weather. Alcohol and freezing rain never mixed well.
“
Taryn, my car won’t start.” Cory breathed on his hands to warm them up. “Oh, and do you have any rock salt for the sidewalk? It’s really icy out there.”
I put my heavy coat and gloves on and grabbed the bag of rock salt from the office.
“
Whoa!” I shouted as I slipped on the ice outside my door. Cory caught me before I hit the ground.
“
Careful!” he reminded me.
“
Damn! It’s like an ice rink out here.” I stuck a plastic cup inside the bag and tossed salt all over my portion of the sidewalk.
“
Told you!” Cory teased. “You think you can give me a ride home?”
“
Cory, I can’t drive in this. It’s too dangerous.” I could barely stand without slipping. “Why don’t you just crash here tonight,” I suggested. “You can stay in the guest room.”
“
Hey, if you don’t mind. Classes are going to be cancelled tomorrow anyway,” Cory said, sprinkling more salt near the curb. “I wonder if Mario’s Pizza is still open?”
I tried to walk back to the bag of salt to refill my cup but I couldn’t get a footing on the patch of ice I was standing on.
“
Help!” I whimpered. “I’m stuck here. I can’t move!”
Cory laughed at me. “What? Can’t you ice skate?”
“
Not in duck boots!” I laughed.
“
Here. Take my hand. I’ll pull you to safety.” Cory slid me across the ice. I laughed out loud because it was actually a lot of fun.
“
You need to buy boots with traction,” Cory informed. “Those things have no bite.”
I started slipping again so I grabbed his arm.
“
Come on… I’ll tow you over to the door before you fall and break an ass cheek out here!”
“
Very funny. Can you even break an ass cheek?” I asked.
“
You want to find out?” he jeered.
“
No! Just help me to the door before I do though.”
Cory laughed. “Even if you could drive me home, I’m picturing you stranded out here on the sidewalk all night. You’ll be a frozen Popsicle by morning.”