Love Through Pain (25 page)

“When was your last menstrual cycle?”

Where was this going
? Jazmine thought. “I should be getting my period any day now. I have all the symptoms; my breasts hurt, I’m cramping, and my sexual appetite has been crazy, to say the least, I want it all the time.” She blushed.

“Jazmine, don’t ever be ashamed with me.” She passed her a piece of paper. “The reason why you’re experiencing all those symptoms
is not because of your period, you’re pregnant.”

Jazmine looked at the paper and then at the doctor. “Excuse me
?”

“You’re pregnant.” The doctor repeated.

Jazmine almost fell out of her chair. “That’s impossible.”

“Why?”

“My husband is sterile, he can’t have kids. Are you sure you didn’t make a mistake?” Jazmine was now shaking nervously.

“Jazmine
, I can assure you the test is accurate, but if you want we can take another one.”

Jazmine sat in shock
, reading the paper.

“And unless you’ve been with anyone but your husband, he is not sterile.” LT. Wright clicked the computer to life.

“But they told him he couldn’t have kids,” her voice rattled.

“I recommend
that he comes in, and I will order some lab work. Whomever told him that gave him a wrong diagnosis.” She typed. “What’s his social? I can’t give you information on him, but I can see.”

Jazmine rattled off his social
, and LT. Wright began keying in the numbers. “Yes, I do see it, but I need him to come see me.”

“Oh God, I’m pregnant
.” A single tear rolled down her eye.

LT. Wright smiled. “It’s a miracle
. Go tell your husband the good news, and if he has any questions, tell him to come see me.”

Jazmine stood still in shock
; she was pregnant. Javier was going to be a father—their baby—she couldn’t stop smiling. “Thank you, LT. Wright. Have a nice day.” She turned, opened the door, and rushed out to plan a wonderful evening.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Javier opened the front door, exhausted. It was a long day at work
, an essential network crashed, and it took his team three hours to fix it. Chief Mitchell was a great help, but after the incident at the karaoke bar, they’d stayed away from each other, only speaking when necessary. Shirley was transferred to another command on the same base. Some days he missed his friends, but his wife and son were all he needed. Like always, he smiled when the aroma of homemade food hit his senses.

Fortunate, by Maxwell
,
was playing. He’d made love to Jazmine to this song, even sang it to her. Javier examined his surroundings, something was different in the living room, and the Christmas tree was lit with bright pink bulbs. When he left this morning the ornaments were red and white, and now they were blue and pink. Jazmine even changed the color of the wrapper on the gifts. He shook his head, he knew he wasn’t crazy.

Javier strolled into the dining room, and again
, it was decorated in pink and blue with balloons tied to his chair. Jazmine had set up the table with pink and blue mats, and on the table there was a baby blue gift bag. Nicky was seated in his high chair, eating Cheerios. When he looked up and saw Javier, he began clapping.

“Daddy
… yummy … yummy.” He lifted a Cheerio up, and then dropped it in his mouth.

Javier strolled over to his son, picked him up, and nuzzled his cheeks. “How was your day?”
He tickled him, and Nicky giggled. She must have had the song on repeat, because it played again. “What’s your mommy up to?” They entered the kitchen.

Jazmine was stirring something in a pot on the stove
; she seemed so deep in thought. He wondered what was bothering her, and he didn’t want to startle her while she was over the stove. They’d come so far, and he was happy. He never thought he could be so content. Then Jazmine dropped from heaven and had accepted his shortcomings.

“Mama…” Nicky chanted, “
Mama…”

Jazmine turned,
and her lips lifted up at the corners as soon as she saw him. “You’re home. I thought you were coming home later.”

“Malcolm helped out
.” He moved closer to her. “What’s for dinner?”

“Arroz con gandules y pollo.” She covered the pot. “Your mom gave me the recipe.”

“Let me taste.” He took the spoon out of her hand.

He took a big
bite of the rice and pigeon peas and tried it. To his surprise, it tasted good. “Mmm, this is delicious.”

“You sound surprised
.” She smirked. “I’m a fabulous cook.”

“I know, but Hispanic food is different.” Javier put Nicky on the floor. “Right Nick?”

Nicky ran out of the kitchen.

Javier grabbed Jazmine by the waist and pulled her closer. “What’s up
? Did I forget something?”

“No, I just wanted to prepare your favorites
,” she answered, not looking in his eyes. That was odd.

“What’s up with all the pink and blue stuff
? You changed the Christmas tree, table, and what’s in the gift bag?”

She moved
out of his arms. “I wanted to wait until dinner, but I’m too excited.” She squealed, left the kitchen, and returned with the gift bag in her hands. “I was going to wait until Christmas.”

He sat on the stool, gazing at her.

“I can wait three more weeks.” He observed the bag. What could it be?

“I can’t
… open it.” She handed it to him and leaned on his lap.

Javier grabbed it, opened the top, and pulled out two baby rattles
, one blue and the other pink. He arched an eyebrow.
What the hell?

Jazmine smile g
rew. “Aren’t you happy?”

“About?” He stared at the rattles. “Jazz…”
He looked at her face, and then at the rattles. Then, he glanced over his shoulder at the table, Christmas tree, and listened to the ending of the song that was playing. No, it couldn’t be. “What are you saying?” he asked in a stern voice.

“I’m pregnant!”

Javier stared at her. She didn’t just say what he thought she’d said.

“Javy?”

Javier was in shock, gently pushing her off his lap. He stood. “That’s impossible.”

“It’s possible, because I’m proof.” Jazmine sounded hurt.

“Jazmine, I can’t have children.” He turned his back to her. “The test you took was wrong.”

“They did a blood
test, but I didn’t believe it myself.” She walked away, returned, and placed three pregnancy tests on the counter in front of him. “I’m pregnant.”

Javier picked them up
, and each of them had two pink lines in the window. He slammed them on the counter, his jaw tightened.

“Javy, I understand what you’re feeling
—” She touched his back.

He took her hand off of him. “You have no idea.”

“You’ve been told you can’t have children, and now I’m telling you I’m pregnant.” She took a deep breath. “I know what you’re thinking, and no I haven’t stepped out on you.” There was crackling to her voice.

“What do you want me to think?”
his voice cracked, and he scowled at her.

“Really!”
She backed away, tears forming in her eyes. “LT. Wright said if you have any question to come see her, she can run tests.”

He continued
to glare at her. He didn’t know what to think; he knew deep in his heart that she would never be unfaithful to him, but all the labs he’d done in Germany said differently. “I will.”

“If you want a freaking blood test, I don’t have a problem.” She moved fa
rther away from him. “Maybe she can perform the umbilical cord DNA test I’ve seen on TV.”

“That may hurt the baby
.” His nose began to flare, and he left the kitchen. She quickly followed him.

“I see where you’re coming from
, Javy, but it doesn’t seem like you understand my side of things. I know what you’re thinking, but this is your baby.” A tear finally dropped. “I thought you trusted me.”

“I did,” he said above a whisper. Javier wanted to wipe her tears away. That
was the first tear he’d seen on her beautiful face in months. He grabbed his keys off the hook.

“Where are you going?”

He didn’t turn to look at her. “I have to leave before I say something I might regret.” Nicky walked up to him, pulling his pant legs.

“Dad
… dy … up … up!”

Javier bent down and picked him up. “
Bye, Nicky.”

He could see her frowning at him, pacing. “
Are you coming home tonight?”

He kissed his son, and gently gave her their son.
“Yes, I just have to clear my mind.”

“
While you’re clearing out your mind.” She glared at him. “Remember what you told me months ago.” She sighed. “
Everything we’ve been through has brought us to this moment, and you promised it would make us stronger
. And now you’re turning your back on me.”

He opened the door
. “I just have to clear my mind.” Jazmine just stared at him, wiped her tears, and backed away from him. He stepped out, closing the door behind him. He could hear Nicky crying for him, but he needed to clear his mind, walking out on his family was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jazmine refused to shed another tear
, Javier was being indifferent to her. He’d been sleeping on the sofa downstairs and only talked to her when necessary. She was too blessed to stay down, and worrying wouldn’t get her anywhere. She’d thought he would be over the moon to find out he would be a father again. But, in the back of her mind, she’d prepared for his reaction. It’d been two days since her revelation. Jazmine knew the results would show he could indeed have children and they would get through this.

Nicky was sleeping in bed next to her,
and for the past two nights he cried himself to sleep, missing his daddy. They had him on a routine; Javier usually bathed him, and then read a book before bed. Jazmine tried reading him a book, but he would just hit it out her hands, and say no. Javier switched his work hours effectively avoiding her, and when she was at work, he was at home with the baby.

Jazmine kissed his cheek, and thanked God for her little boy. He was the light of her days,
and she couldn’t see her life without him in it. Nicky was a blessing in disguise, if it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t be where she was, and despite everything she was still happy. “I love you, sunshine.”

His eyes flutter
ed open, staring at her, “Mi … ma … hut…” He pointed at his ear.

“Your ear
?” She touched it, making him squirm.

“No, mama
.” He hit her hand.

She noticed his ears were red, and he tugged at it again. “What’s wrong
, baby?”

“Ouch…”

She brushed his hair with her fingers, his skin felt warm. Jazmine placed her palm on his forehead. “You’re burning up.”

***

Javier was off for the night, but he didn’t mention it to Jazmine. He sat at the bar with a glass of Hennessey in his hand. He’d been to the hospital and got tested again. LT. Wright explained the process, and told him three things could have happened, they misdiagnosed him, his body healed itself, or his wife was unfaithful. He took a gulp of his drink. What was he going to do if she cheated on him? He loved Jazmine with all that he had, but could he forgive infidelity? He’d stepped out on Monica with Sandra—maybe it was karma—but what he felt for Monica didn’t come remotely close to what he felt for Jazmine. He knew he was being a hypocrite. But he couldn’t change how he felt. He sighed. If he could have children, then that meant he might have a daughter; a daughter he’d ignored for months.

Javier was lost with no one to talk to. Someone placed their hand on his shoulder.

“Hi J, long time no see.” A soft breath grazed his ear.

He looked up into blue irises. “Hey Ivy, how you doing?”

“I’m doing great now that I’ve seen you.” She moved her hand across his back and caressed his shoulders. “What brings you out?” she whispered and nipped at his earlobe.

His dick betrayed him and jerked.

“Ivy…” She moved to the empty stool next to him. “I’m married.”

She glanced around the room. “I don’t see her around here.” Her hands traveled around to his chest. “You owe me a night of pleasure.”

Javier gazed at her, but he didn’t say anything.

“You were supposed to rock my world the last time we went out, but you left in a hurry.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Her hand started moving over his pe
cks, and they began slowly moving down south.

Javier grabbed her hand, stopping her. “I told you, I’m married
, Ivy. I love my wife and would never hurt her like that.” He had his hand wrapped around her wrist when someone cleared their throat. Ivy tugged back her hand.

“J.” Shirley gave him a dirty look, and
then crossed her hands over her budging belly.

Javier stared at her stomach
.
When did she get pregnant?

“Ivy, can you excuse us for a moment.” Shirley glanced at Ivy, waiting for her to leave.

“I’ll talk to you later, J,” Ivy murmured seductively.

“No
, you won’t.” Shirley shooed her away.

Ivy huffed and sashayed
off.

“What the fuck
, J?” She glared at him.

“Shirley
, I didn’t know you were pregnant.” He stared at her belly.

She rubbed it. “Yep, I haven’t seen you since I transferred.”

“What is a pregnant woman doing in a bar?”

“They make the best chicken wings ever.” She raised her hand at the waiter and handed him a ten-dollar bill. “Keep the change.” He handed her a plastic bag, and then she turned to him. “What is a married man doing in this dump?”

He took the last sip of his drink. “Clearing my head.”

“You come here to clear your head?” She placed her hand on her hip. “Not a good idea
—especially having a skank like Ivy touching you.”

“She’s harmless.” He stared at the bottom of the glass.

“I wonder if your wife would think that.” She snapped her fingers, trying to get his attention. “J, you better be thankful you’re my boy, because if you weren’t, I would call Jazmine and tell on your ass.”

“Whatever
, Shirley, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.” He turned to peer at her.

“You men are so naïve
, you’re just like Malcolm.” He arched a brow. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell Malcolm nothing we talk about, and believe me when I tell you, you and your wife are the last thing on his mind.”

“I’m happy for him.” Javier placed the glass down. “I hope he finds what he’d been looking for.”

“I think he has.” She picked up the bag off of the counter. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“That’s okay
, I’ll call a cab.” He stood.

“Nope, you’re coming with me.” She grabbed his hand.

“If you insist.” They walked out arm in arm.

Ivy stepped in front of him. “You’re leaving so soon
?” She ogled Javier.

“Ivy, J is happily married, and if I catch you trying to put your claws in
to him, I’ll kick your ass myself.” Ivy’s lips thinned. “I hope you understand, it’s nothing personal, but Jazmine’s my girl.” Shirley hauled him out of the door.

Javier stumble into the house, and struggled to his new found bed, his sofa.  “Jazz
.” He laid his head on the pillows. “I love you,” he shouted, his eyelids getting heavy. “We’ll make it through anything baby…” And he fell asleep.

***

Javier sat in LT. Wright’s office. He had a little headache from the night before, and he woke up searching for his family, but they’d already left for the day. He was about to call Jazmine when he’d received the call from the hospital. And now he couldn’t believe what she was telling him. His test results were back. He read the papers over and over, even though the medical terms weren’t clear, but he checked the percentages on the bottom line. She explained to him that the tests he took in Germy were inconclusive; it did show he had a very, very low chance of having children, but there was a two percent chance, and in this case, the two percent won.

“I’m going to be a father
.” Javier grinned. “She’s going to have my baby!” he shouted, startling the LT.

She began laughing
. “Yes, Chief. Congratulations!”

“All this time, I thought…”

“You thought wrong, and I’ll make sure that doctor gets reprimand for giving you the wrong diagnosis. I understand that your levels were significantly low, but he shouldn’t have told you,
never
, when there was a tiny chance.” She smiled. “Miracles do happen, I see it every day.”

“Oh, I now believe in miracles.”

***

Javier was walking on cloud nine,
and he couldn’t wait to get home and hold his pregnant wife. He was about to push the elevator button when he saw Malcolm come around the corner.

“Martinez,” Malcolm sang with big grin on his face.

“Mitchell, what’s up?”

Malcolm handed him a cigar
. “This is what’s up.”

Javier took it and read what it said
. “
It’s a girl.”

“Yes, I just had a daughter.” He beamed. “Man
, I never felt this way before, and now I understand how you feel with Nicolas.”

“Congratulations, I didn’t know.” Javier shook his hand. “It’s the greatest feeling in the world.”

“She looks like Shirley but has my lips.” Malcolm chuckled.

“Did you just say Shirley?” Javier
was surprised.

Malcolm continued laughing. “Yeah, things just happened. Shirley is a wonderful woman,
and we’re taking things slow.”

“Slow
? You just had a baby,” Javier said jokingly.

“I know. Is Nicky doing better?”

Javier smile disappeared. “What about Nicky?”

“I saw Jazmine here yesterday,
and she said Nicky had a high fever.” He looked concerned. “You didn’t know?”

“No
.” He pushed the elevator button. “Tell Shirley I said congratulations. I have to go.” Javier didn’t wait for the elevator. He decided to run down the stairs. He needed to get to his family.

***

Javier rushed into their bedroom after searching the house for Jazmine and Nicky. He stopped at the door when he saw them in their bed. Jazmine was asleep with Nicolas lying on her chest. He strolled over to the bed and sat.

He massaged Jazmine’s toned legs. “Babe…”

Jazmine’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and she moved her foot from his touch. She placed Nicky on the mattress and slowly got out of the bed. Instead of talking to him, she headed straight to the bathroom and closed the door. He heard the water turn on in the sink. He eased up and kissed his son; Nicky was still a little warm.

“Thank God you’re okay.” He combed his curly hair from his face.

“Why wouldn’t he be okay?” Jazmine stood at the bathroom door.

Javier stood and gazed at her. “Why didn’t you call me?”

She rolled her eyes at him and marched out of the bedroom. He sighed and followed her.

“Jazz, you didn’t think I would want to know my son was sick?”

“Javier, I did call you, but it went straight to voicemail.” She shot daggers at him.

“You didn’t leave a message.”

She picked up one of their son’s toys and placed it in his toy box. “He had an ear infection, and he’s doing much better.”

He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she looked pissed. Her lips
were pressed together, and she stood with her arms over her chest.

“
Well, now you know he’s fine.” She turned toward the bedroom, but he grabbed her hand.

“Love
.” He cupped her face. “I’m sorry, but this little part of me doubted myself.”

“You doubted yourself
, and you also doubted me.” Jazmine moved away from his touch. He could tell that she was hurt, and her eyes shined with tears.

“Jazz, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry, really?” She glared at him. “You think by you saying that, that everything would be okay.” Jazmine crossed her arms over her chest.

He would beg if he had too, but he wasn’t going to let this come between them. “Baby
.” He tried to take her hand, and she pulled back.

“No Javier
.” She shot daggers at him. “I understand where you were coming from, but what I can’t understand is why you shut me out.” She looked away from him. “Why couldn’t you see my side of things?”

“I did, but…”

“But what!” Jazmine yelled. “I gave you all of me, everything I have, and you turned your back on me at the first sign of trouble.”

“That’s not what I did
. I didn’t want to take it out on you.”

“But you did. You completely shut me out.”

He combed his fingers through his hair. “Jazz, the past few days sleeping without you by my side were terrible, I was torn into pieces.”

“Good.”

“I almost lost myself without you.”

Jazmine didn’t respon
d, he could tell she was softening, and the tears in her eyes disappeared, and her lips loosened.

“Look at me
.” She wouldn’t, so he tipped her chin. “I was confused, I told you I’m not perfect.” He caressed her chin. “I thought if this is true, I might have a little girl out there that I’ve ignored for the last three months.”

“But you didn’t know
,” she said above a whisper.