Love Starved (7 page)

Then Claudia came in. She looked stunning in her shimmering red dress, dark hair in a loose French braid that made her face look soft and sweet, with just a touch of make-up bringing out the intense blue of her eyes. People crowded around her with compliments and congratulations as soon as she entered , but when she was finished with the initial wave of socializing, she wove her way to the corner table where Micah sat, anxiously squeezing Angel’s hand.

“Dear God, I need a drink,” Claudia sighed, dropping onto a chair opposite them.

Angel stood up immediately with his most winning smile, the one that made Micah warm and tingly to the tips of his toes even when they weren’t flirting their way through a fantasy.

“What can I get you, oh fair lady?” he asked with an exaggerated bow.

Claudia giggled. “Rum and Coke, please, my good sir. And please call me by my name. I’m Claudia.” She offered a hand that Angel took and kissed.

“Angel,” he said. “I’m delighted to finally meet you after hearing so much about you from Micah.”

Claudia pretended to glare at Micah. “I wonder what he told you.”

“All the best things, I assure you.” Angel grinned. “I’ll go hunt for that drink. Would you like another, sweetie?” He turned to Micah.

“No, I’m good for now, thanks.”

With a nod, Angel turned and disappeared in the crowd.

Claudia immediately grabbed Micah’s hand.

“Ooh, I like him already. Is he always so chivalrous or is it just for my benefit?”

“Pretty much always,” Micah admitted. As far as he knew, it was the truth. “He opens doors and brings flowers and offers his jackets on cold nights.”

“Oh my.” Claudia sighed. “Hold on to him. Gentlemen always make the best partners. I should know.”

“Right.” Micah shifted in his chair. “Speaking of which, where is Brad?”

She rolled her eyes. “In Arizona, photographing rare flowers. He offered to stay just to be here for the opening night, but this thing blooms only for a few days and he’d been waiting for this trip all year, so I told him to go. I, unlike the flowers, intend to blossom for a long time.”

Brad was a nature photographer who’d been increasingly recognized in the last few years, with prestigious magazines like
National Geographic
and
Audubon
publishing his work. He had been Claudia’s boyfriend since they were both fifteen—with a short, tumultuous break in the sophomore year of college when they’d tried dating other people, only to run back to each other three months later.

Every time Micah saw them together, he couldn’t help feeling envy at how good they were as a couple—two halves of the same apple, soulmates, if there ever was such a thing. The thought that his sister was convinced he could have the same kind of connection with anyone gave Micah a painful lump in his throat. He hadn’t. He wouldn’t.

Angel came back with the drink and a small plate in his hands. He put both in front of Claudia.

“I thought you might be hungry,” he answered her surprised expression.

“Starving, thank you. But how did you know I love sushi?” She asked, reaching for the chopsticks.

Angel shrugged. “Told you, Micah talks about you.”

Micah arched his eyebrows. Yes, he had talked about Claudia. But the fact that Angel remembered this little detail from one of his silly family stories made it very hard for Micah not to stare at him, stunned.

Angel sat by Micah’s side and took his hand, stroking his thumb over the top of it as if he did that every day.

“Okay,” Claudia said after swallowing a mouthful. “So how did you like the play? Be honest.”

Micah was about to shower her with the usual—and well-deserved—compliments when Angel opened his mouth and delivered a five-minute review of the performance that somehow touched every aspect of it, with special focus on Claudia’s role, and summed up why it was amazing in ways that were much more constructive and eloquent than anything Micah could have found. Micah felt his jaw drop.

Angel looked at the siblings sitting there with identical stunned expressions and shrugged. “What? I have an analytical mind.”

Claudia closed her mouth with a click. “And a way with words. Wow. Could you write that down for me so that I can frame it?” Then she turned to Micah. “He’s a keeper.”

“Oh really?” he replied faintly.

“Definitely. I like him. You have my seal of approval.”

Angel inclined his head in silent thanks, his face earnest. Micah wanted to scream, or confess the truth, anything to just stop lying to her.

He didn’t.

Claudia seemed totally oblivious to the raging conflict inside of him; her attention was focused on Angel.

“So tell me, young man—why are you so intent on leaving us so early? Don’t tell me you have work to get to at midnight.”

From their first chat, Micah knew that it was exactly what Angel had. How was he going to maneuver his way out of this one?

“Oh, I have a company trip to get to.” Angel waved his hand without hesitation. “It’s kind of like a survival camp. Team-building exercises, all that. We need to be there by six tomorrow—not that we know where
there
is, yet, it’s a big secret—and the bus is leaving after midnight.” He gave Claudia his most charming smile. “Sorry, I can’t skip it. My boss is very strict about attendance at these things. He says it does wonders for mental health.” He rolled his eyes.

Claudia tapped her lip with a manicured finger. “Okay, in that case, you’re forgiven. What do you do, anyway?”

“Sis, stop with the interrogation.” Micah tried to hijack the conversation for Angel’s sake, but she just shushed him, and Angel squeezed his hand.

“No, it’s okay,” he assured Micah before turning to her again. “I’m a lawyer.”

Micah barely managed to hide his surprise. A lawyer? Really?
That
was what Angel chose for a cover story? Was he crazy?

“I work at this little law firm specializing in corporate cases,” Angel continued. “I only started with them last year, so I’m still the new kid, but it’s the first step.”

Claudia just nodded, accepting the lie without question. “How did you two meet then? I assume it wasn’t through work.”

Okay, this one they’d actually discussed. Micah took over. “At a coffee shop, believe it or not. It started like a thousand cliché love stories.” He managed to keep his voice steady over the
love
part, though it burned in his throat.

Claudia arched her eyebrows. “Really? Tell me. I love a good love story.”

“Well, I saw him one day at this place near my office,” Angel said. “He didn’t notice me; he was completely lost in whatever he was doing on his laptop.”

“That does sound like my nerdy little brother all right.” Claudia grinned and Micah kicked her foot under the table.

Angel continued. “I didn’t manage to catch his eye even as he was leaving, but I was so enchanted that I asked the barista very nicely, and she said Micah came there several times a week around that time, and always alone. So I started timing my coffee breaks appropriately.” He smiled, as if revisiting a fond memory.

“How did you know he was gay?” Claudia asked.

Uh-oh
. They hadn’t thought to talk about that, and Micah knew from experience that people generally didn’t read him immediately upon meeting. Nor did he advertise his sexuality unasked, not anymore.

“I didn’t know,” Angel said simply. “But he has this rainbow keychain, you know?” Micah let out a discreet sigh of relief. Saved by a keychain. “So I didn’t really assume anything, but I let myself hope.” He smiled at Micah again, his expression tender. “It took a few weeks, but finally I found a way to talk to him, and after another week I bought his coffee and asked him to go out with me. The rest is history.” He leaned in to sweetly kiss Micah’s cheek, and Claudia sighed happily.

“You must have been really convincing.” She sounded impressed. “No one has managed that since he swore off dating after a bad break-up, years ago. I was beginning to seriously worry.”

Angel looked at him, not quite able to conceal surprise. Micah just shrugged, but Claudia obviously caught on to their little wordless exchange.

“Ooh, you didn’t know? Has he even told you about Brian?”

“No, and I’d appreciate it if you let me talk about it when I want to talk about it,” Micah snapped.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

The beaming director chose that moment to come up to their table and, after short introductions, stole Claudia away to show her off.

They didn’t exchange more than a few words in passing with her until Angel had to leave, but she watched them across the room now and then, even as she talked to other people. So they made sure to act like a couple—holding hands, standing close in each other’s personal space, sharing a few chaste kisses as if they couldn’t stop themselves. Micah let his eyes linger on Angel’s body, let his hand linger, too—on Angel’s waist, brushing up his chest, his sleeve.

There was music, but Micah didn’t want to dance. They talked, but it wasn’t like Monday night. Mostly, they just exchanged remarks about the people around them, the party, the theater, biding their time until goodbye. As far as Micah was concerned, he was over it. He’d gotten what some part of him wanted from Angel during their “date.” Now he just wanted to close this short, bittersweet chapter.

So, just before midnight, he bade Angel a tender goodbye because Claudia was right there beside them in front of the restaurant, and then, with a secret sigh of relief, he stepped back inside.

He didn’t stay much longer, though. With Claudia in such high demand among the theater crowd, and no one else there that he really knew, Micah got bored after half an hour. When he found his already-tipsy sister in the crowd to tell her he was leaving, she hugged him tightly. He was surprised to see her eyes glimmer with tears as she pulled away.

“I’m really happy for you,” she said, sniffing. “You deserve to be loved and cherished like this. I’m so happy you found him.”

No amount of alcohol could wash away the bitter taste in Micah’s mouth.

The next month was filled
to the brim with work. Between the two conferences, the craziness of book promotion and training Rob and Rebecca—his nineteen-year-old twin employees—to teach the seminars so that he could focus on everything else that required his attention, Micah didn’t have enough time to sleep, let alone do anything that didn’t count as work. And that was just fine—it was the kind of pace he enjoyed, the schedule he thrived on. A little free time now and then was great, but he would go crazy if he had nothing to do for a few days. If that made him a workaholic, fine. It was nothing bad, not when his work was his passion, his hobby and his only constant companion.

He managed to call Daphne once, when he was stuck in traffic, and remembered to text Claudia with congratulations after reading a fantastic review of her performance, but mostly, his head was filled with schedules and obligations and plans. Every day, Rob and Rebecca left the office at reasonable hours to go home to their girlfriends, and Micah stayed behind, immersed in presentations and guest posts, interviews and contracts for new clients that had started pouring in already.

June was over in a blink of an eye, and July was setting out to be just as busy. Rebecca mentioned they should think of vacation, take advantage of the beautiful summer they were having, but Micah didn’t see that happening anytime soon. There was just so much to do.

The phone call caught him in the middle of writing a guest blog post for a large InfoSec portal, when inspiration was flowing faster than his fingers flew over the keyboard. He was in the zone, but one glance at the display told him this was not a person he could ignore, not when he hadn’t found time to call her in weeks. A pang of guilt reverberated through him as he picked up.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Did you forget how to use this modern device we call a phone?”

“No. I’m sorry, I’ve been busy, Mom,” he said. “I didn’t have time to—”

“Sweetie, you never have time,” she interrupted. “That’s life. You make time. I want to hear from you every once in a while.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He really was. Every time they talked, he promised himself he would call at least once a week, and then he got lost in his work again. It wasn’t that he didn’t remember his parents, or didn’t want to talk to them—he just honestly lost track of time. His mom knew that, and even though she scolded him about it regularly, she understood. That was one of the amazing things about his parents. They understood. Or at least they tried, no matter what, even when it was hard.

“So,” his mom said. “I talked to Claudia last night and I’m really disappointed, honey. How come you’ve never told us about your cute new boyfriend?”

Oh
shit
.

He hadn’t even thought about it. He was going to ease Claudia into the idea that Angel and he weren’t a serious couple—not a couple at all, in fact. He’d had a plan. But with everything that was happening on the work front, he hadn’t spared a single thought to Angel in weeks. Of course, hoping Claudia would forget, too, was too much to wish for. And now he was in deep trouble.

“Um, because it’s just… still fresh, you know? I didn’t want to talk about him until I knew it’s something serious.” He stuttered, caught off-guard and already cursing himself for wading deeper into the lie.

“So what is he doing next weekend, that mysterious man of yours?”

Oh no.
No
. “I don’t know, Mom, but—”

“So he’s coming with you to the anniversary party.”

Micah felt his knees go weak even though he was sitting. His parents’ thirtieth wedding anniversary was to be a big celebration, with a vows renewal ceremony and his whole family and a bunch of his parents’ friends coming to the lake cabin. He planned to be there, of course, but there was no way he would be taking anyone with him.

“Mom, I don’t think he’ll have time, he’s a busy man, and—”

“Tell him to make time,” she said in that voice that meant no further discussion was welcome. “I want to meet the man Claudia says makes you look like a love-struck teenager.” Micah groaned, and she chuckled softly. “Come on, I just want to see you happy with someone before I die.”

“You’re fifty-one and in perfect health, Mom. You’re far from dying.”

“True, but you never know. At this rate, I may die of old age before I see you happily married. So bring this lucky boy with you. Even if it turns out he’s not The One, I still want to meet the man who captured my son’s heart.” Her voice was warm, laced with a smile, and Micah wished more than anything he didn’t have to disappoint her. He still tried to protest.

“But—”

“No buts. I’ll see you both on the eleventh. Now, tell me what you’ve been up to.”

One thing Micah was absolutely
sure of: There was no way he could take Angel with him next weekend. He couldn’t keep playing this game. It had been a reckless one-night adventure that had already expanded into more of Micah’s life than he’d ever planned, and it had to stop now.

He would just tell his mom that Angel couldn’t come. Or, better yet, he would break it to them gently that they’d split. Simple as that. He would give it a few days for more credibility, and then he would call both his parents and Claudia, and he’d finally be free of this stupid lie.

Making the decision, once and for all, was such a relief. Feeling strong and calm again, Micah got back to work.

He didn’t think about Angel at all until the next Monday when Claudia called him. Micah was already in bed, exhausted after a long day, but seeing her name on the screen brought everything back. A rush of dread made him freeze with his hand on the phone. Crap. He was supposed to break up with his fake boyfriend, wasn’t he?

He took a deep breath and, with his chin held high and his resolve quickly gathered, he answered the call.

“Hi, a quick question,” Claudia said through the background noise of some crowded place. “Do you and Angel want to drive with us on Thursday morning? I’ve decided to go a couple of days early, give my understudy a chance to shine a little. It would be fun to go together. More eco-friendly, too.”

“Thanks, but I’m having brunch with a customer on Friday,” he replied, not quite sure how to say he’d be driving by himself. Despite his best intentions, he hadn’t taken time to invent the explanation yet.

“Workaholic,” Claudia sighed. “Okay, suit yourselves. Also, I feel obliged to report that our mother is unhealthily excited about your boyfriend coming with you. You may want to warn him.”

“Oh God.”

“Brad says he can offer pointers on how to handle our family if needed. You can give Angel his number.” Claudia sounded way too amused.

Brad was indeed an expert on dealing with their family—their parents had adored him from the first time they’d met him. Whether they would be as accepting toward Micah’s partners was hard to determine. They’d never met any—Brian had vehemently refused to go home with Micah.

Not that it mattered, really, because Micah had no intention of bringing anyone with him.

“Um, no thanks,” he told Claudia.

“As you wish. Anyway, I’ll see you there. ‘Night!” She hung up before he could say another word.

Any hope of sleep gone for the moment, Micah started on the long overdue process of planning his excuse.

He could call his parents and say Angel was too busy to come with him—he had a business trip, perhaps, or a case to prepare. Lawyers were notoriously busy people, after all. Still, he dreaded this conversation. Lying to his parents was never easy for him—his mom in particular had a lie sensor, and she never hesitated to call Micah out. Finding excuses and defending his nonexistent boyfriend at the same time seemed like more than he could handle.

Maybe he could just go alone and say his boyfriend had something urgent come up at the last minute. Surely they would understand. Again, lawyers. Though the thought of the disappointment on his mom’s face was hard to bear, especially if she was indeed looking forward to them coming together.

What he should actually do, of course, was to tell them there was no boyfriend. Not anymore, at least. But Claudia’s words were ringing in his ears: “Mom’s unhealthily excited.” Of course she was. She’d been waiting for this for years, even though she’d never said a word.

No matter what he did, he was going to disappoint everyone. Micah’s head ached. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was another day; he would decide then, when he wasn’t so tired. There was plenty of time.

However, they had a crisis situation when Micah arrived at the office, and he spent the whole day and well into the night tracking an information leak in a client’s network. And then it was Wednesday, just two days before Micah was supposed to go to Grand Marais, and he was not one bit closer to the solution. The prospect of disappointing his mom on the eve of her big day seemed crueler by the minute.

Twice, Micah picked up his phone to call her, and twice he put it down, not ready to press the call button. By six p.m., his hands were shaking and he couldn’t focus on work; all of his attention was occupied by his dilemma. He’d done it again—left an unsolved problem until the last minute, pushing it to the backburner of his mind and hoping it would somehow fix itself. He hated putting things off, and yet he kept doing it, over and over again. Wasn’t procrastination a form of cowardice?

This was stupid. It was a simple thing, just to call and tell his parents that he was coming alone. It wasn’t as though he had to really break up with an actual boyfriend. Still, he couldn’t. The questions, the lies—his mom would know something was off, and she would get it out of him, one way or another. And then Micah would never be able to look his parents in the eyes again. Even just a thought of their disappointed, shocked faces if they learned that Angel was a professional escort made Micah cringe.

If he only had more time—he would fix it. He really would. If he could buy himself a few more weeks to do it at his own pace.

That thought made him straighten up in his desk chair; the wheels in his head were turning. There might be a way.

Micah turned the idea over and over, all the way home, all through his solitary take-out dinner, all through an hour spent at the piano, where his thoughts always seemed to fall into natural order. He shouldn’t do it. It was a bad idea—risky, costly and cowardly. But it would give him a reprieve. And if he was going to do it, it had to be tonight.

After another hour, Micah picked up the phone and chose Angel’s number.

“I don’t think I can do it, Micah. I’m sorry.” Angel sounded apologetic.

“Oh.” Micah deflated; nerves that had been constricting his throat a moment ago gave way to defeat. Now he really didn’t have a way out. “You’re probably booked weeks in advance. I didn’t think about that.”

“No, it’s not that. I’m actually free this weekend,” Angel said. His voice was rough today, as if he was sick, and he’d only picked up on the third attempt. “The summer months are always slower; people go on vacations, find summer flings. That’s not why I can’t go with you.”

“Why then?” Micah asked. Maybe he could still convince him.

“I don’t take longer jobs. I told you, I never stay until morning. And you’re asking me not just to stay the night, but to stay on the job for forty-eight hours. I’ve never done that. I don’t think I can.”

“But isn’t this less intense than your usual jobs?” Micah asked. “I don’t expect you to do anything sexual.” He didn’t blush, too focused on what he needed. “You would just play my boyfriend, like last time, and even that only when there are people around. No need to pretend for me.”

“Okay, let’s say that’s feasible,” Angel said. “I would
maybe
agree if it was in the city. But going off somewhere into the wilderness? It’s not that I have reasons not to trust you, Micah, so please don’t take it personally, but it’s not safe. I don’t really know you. I don’t know your family, or the area or anything about the situation. My profession is not the safest one; I have to take care of myself. I always have an emergency exit plan. I can’t see how I could have one here.”

The wheels in Micah’s head were turning, problem-solving mode in full swing. “Okay, first, it’s not a wilderness. There are plenty of other houses and people around.”

“Still—”

“And what if you took your own car? Claudia is going to be there, and she’s driving. I can return with her if need be. So we could go in your car, and if you feel unsafe at any point, or want to cut the job short for whatever reason, we can just say you had an urgent phone call and you have to go. I won’t stop you.” Micah was talking faster. That could work.
Please let it work.

Angel’s tone cut his hope short. “Micah, I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’ll pay you five grand,” he blurted out. When Angel didn’t respond immediately, he took a breath and continued, calmer. “You said summer months were slow. I’m sure you could use some money to compensate for that. I’m paying you five thousand dollars for two days of your time. All you have to do is pretend to be in a relationship with me. It’s not a bad deal.” He felt like shit making it all boil down to money, but he was desperate.

There was another moment of silence in the phone, then, “Let me think about this, okay?”

“Sure. Of course.”

“Can I let you know in the morning?” Angel’s voice sounded different from his usual bright tone now—it was neutral, carefully controlled.

“Yeah. Thank you.”