Love Song (22 page)

“I’d like to dedicate it to each cowboy here tonight, for your indomitable spirit, your love of the land, and your quest to be free.” Her gaze locked with Wade’s. “And your tender heart.”

It was a stirring ballad, sung with exquisite perception and passion, a tale of determination and valor of both man and beast, of desperate flight and relentless pursuit, of imminent capture and last minute mercy from a man who understood the need to run free.

Wade thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever done. All around him, people wiped their eyes. Even Grant swallowed hard and cleared his throat. Dawn cried openly, ruining her makeup, and gratefully accepted Grant’s handkerchief without apology.

Andi wiped her cheeks and took a minute to collect her composure. “I’ve gotten reacquainted with an old friend these past few weeks. Because of him, I’m alive today. Because of him, I’ll live in heaven for eternity, and you can, too. He’s kind and loving, and full of grace and forgiveness. If you don’t know him, I hope you’ll seek him out. His name is Jesus.” She played an intricate introduction on the guitar, and when she began to sing, the crowd listened in awed silence.

I have a friend, won’t you meet him, too?

He gave his life for me and you.

Wade’s eyes misted and his throat burned with unshed tears as Andi sang of the Master’s love, his healing touch, and his saving grace. In singing about the Savior, her voice took on an ethereal quality, a reverence and love that would melt the hardest heart. The incredible beauty of her singing confirmed his belief that God would use her to reach souls no one else could reach. Blessed though he was by her music, his dream of a life with her withered and all but died.

How could he ask Andi to stay with him when God had far greater plans for her?

Shortly after her performance, Andi asked Wade to take her home. Although she had greatly enjoyed both dancing with him and singing, she felt emotionally drained. Singing about her great-grandfather had affected her more deeply than she had thought it would. Not only had it renewed the long held wish that she could have known him, it spoke of a time lost and a freedom for which many yearned, including the man she loved.

Taking the step to share about Jesus had drawn upon her courage and jumbled her nerves. Once she got into the song, her fears had evaporated. God filled her with such peace that she knew she had done the right thing and with such joy that her heart had overflowed. She also knew she had never sung better.

Wade had complimented her on her performance, especially the last two songs, and told her how pleased he was that she shared about Jesus. Otherwise, he had been silent on the short trip back to the house. She supposed it was because he knew she would be leaving soon. Tonight proved that she was physically fit. A week, maybe two was the longest she could hope for until she had to say good-bye.

She watched him through the windshield as he came around the Blazer to open her door. Surely, he knew it didn’t have to be forever. She had done everything except come right out and say it, and she couldn’t bring herself to go any farther. After the way he had acted during the week and earlier in the evening, she had expected him to declare his love and ask her to marry him when he took her home. Now, he was so quiet, she wasn’t so sure that would happen. He had been hurt so badly by his mother, maybe he hadn’t reached the point where he could make a lifetime commitment. It was something he had to do; she couldn’t back him into a corner.

As they walked to the porch, she looped her arm through his. “Was that Grant standing with you and Dawn while I was singing?”

He nodded and smiled. “She was being bumped around by the crowd, but before I could ease her over in front of me, he showed up, moving in behind her. Made a pretty good wall, too.”

“How sweet. Did they talk much? I noticed she was working in the refreshment center when we left, and I didn’t see him anywhere.”

“I don’t think they had a chance to say more than a few words to each other.” He opened the screen and took the key from her hand, unlocking the door. “The music was so loud up front that it was practically impossible to hear what anybody said.” He opened the door and followed her inside. “When you were done singing, I saw her glance at her watch and look upset. She was saying something to him when I left to meet you. I think maybe she had to go straight to the concession stand for her shift.”

“She mentioned this afternoon that she was working there the last two hours. What a shame.” Andi turned on a lamp, leaving the setting on low, walked over to the couch, and sat down. Pulling off her boots, she propped her feet up on the coffee table and wiggled her toes. “Ah, that feels better.” Wade sat down, but not as close as she would have liked. She scooted over next to him and batted her eyelashes at him. “Hi there, big boy.”

“Hello.” A smile warmed his eyes as he put his arm around her shoulders.

“I enjoyed dancing with you tonight. You do mighty fine for a country fella.”

“I don’t spend all my time at the ranch.”

“Now I’m jealous.”

“There’s no reason to be.”

She looked up at him, inviting his kiss. He hesitated and alarm spiraled through her. She could feel him withdrawing, putting up an invisible wall between them. “Wade?”

He searched her eyes, then lowered his head quickly, kissing her with barely restrained passion. The world faded away, with all its worries and pressures. As she returned his kiss with all her love, nothing existed but him—until the loud ringing of her cell phone shattered the moment.

She tensed, and Wade reluctantly drew back. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I need to answer it. My folks are supposed to call tonight or tomorrow and tell me where they are going next.” She picked up the phone from the coffee table.

“Hello. Oh, hi, Kyle.”

“How did it go tonight?”

“Great. Didn’t miss a note.” She looked at Wade, disheartened by the sadness in his eyes as he moved his arm and sat back against the corner of the couch. “I sang a couple of new songs I wrote last week, and the crowd loved them.”

“Maybe we can put them on the next album. You sound distracted. Is Wade there?”

“Yes. So make it quick.”

He laughed. “Gotcha. I managed to reschedule four more of the concerts, including the one in Tucson. That gives us twelve of the fourteen we missed.”

“Wonderful.” Smiling happily, she put her hand over the mouthpiece and relayed the news to Wade. He gave her a weak smile. “That should help the guys’ paychecks.”

“The only problem is that I had to put them on the front end of the tour, so you’ll have to hit the road a week from Monday.”

Andi’s heart sank. “So soon?”

“It gets worse, hon,” he said sympathetically. “I got a call from CMN a few minutes ago. On Monday, they’ll be running a segment about tonight’s concert. They want you there in person to perform and do an interview. It’s a great opportunity to plug the tour dates and let everyone know you’re back. You can’t afford to miss it. Plus you said you had some wardrobe changes to make, and you’ll need to practice with the band—especially if you have new material you want to use. I’m sorry, Andi, but you have to come back to Nashville tomorrow afternoon because I couldn’t get you a flight on Sunday. I’ve already made reservations.”

Andi’s head spun. She couldn’t leave so fast. There was too much left unsaid, too much at stake. But she had no choice. She had obligations that had to be taken care of before she could start a new life. People depending on her. She couldn’t let them down again. She looked into Wade’s eyes but couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Look at it this way, hon. The sooner you hit the road, the quicker you’ll get finished, and you can search out new worlds and go where you’ve never gone before.”

She forced a laugh in spite of the doom settling over her. “You sound like you’re lining up a guest spot on
Star Trek
.” She sighed. “All right. I’ll fly out tomorrow.” Wade appeared shocked, then the wall went up between them again. She doubted that, at this point, any amount of talking would bring it down.

“That’s my girl. Nicki sends her love.”

“How is she?”

“Absolutely terrific,” he said softly, making Andi wonder if she was there with him. “She and her band are clicking well. She has lots of good ideas and listens to their suggestions, too. We’re cutting a demo tape on Monday. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a record deal before you head out on tour. She has so much natural talent, I’m amazed every time I hear her. Reminds me of another lady I know.”

“So how were the burgers?”

He laughed. “Which time? We’re becoming regulars there and at the pizza place around the corner. But I’ve taken her to some fancy places, too. Took her to a business party last night. Man, was she a knockout. I had to stay right with her the whole time.” Andi heard a giggle and knew her suspicion was right. “We found her a cute little apartment today, and we’re going furniture shopping tomorrow. Just the bare basics, she says. She doesn’t want to go into debt.”

“I can’t believe my ears. Hamburgers and pizza. Apartment hunting and furniture shopping. And you actually sound relaxed. Kyle, are you keeping your promise?”

“Yes, though it’s not easy. This is one time I’m not going to rush. It’s too important.”

“I’m proud of you. I’ll call when I get in.” She hung up the phone and looked at Wade as he rose from the sofa. “Don’t go.”

“You probably have a dozen things to do to get ready to leave.” He sounded distant; his manner was cold.

She jumped up from the sofa. “I can do everything in the morning. All I have to do is throw stuff in a couple of suitcases.”

Walking to the door, he acted as if he hadn’t heard her. “Have a good trip. When do you leave on tour?”

“A week from Monday. I have to go back now to be on CMN next Monday evening.”

He nodded. “Good promotion.”

“Wade...”

He finally looked at her, and for a heartbeat, she saw abject misery in his eyes, then it disappeared. His face could have been carved in stone. “Goodbye, darlin’. It’s been fun.”

She whispered his name, but the sound faded in the still air as he walked out. Sinking down on the sofa, she stared at the closed door and heard the roadster’s engine roar to life.
It’s been fun
. Was that all their time together had meant to him? Fun?

She picked up a large throw pillow and hugged it to her aching heart, weeping. “Please God, let him just be afraid. Please let him love me.”

***

On Monday evening, Wade sat in his recliner, staring at the clock as if it were his enemy. Country Music Scene would be on in two minutes. Unable to stop himself, he clicked on the television and the DVR, and found the right channel.

A cooked frozen dinner sat on the table beside him, barely touched. He rubbed his hand over his face, weary to the bone. Sleep had evaded him completely Friday night and had been virtually a stranger both Saturday and Sunday.

His leg ached where a cow had kicked him that afternoon. He knew to be on guard when trying to doctor that old lop-horn, but his thoughts had been elsewhere—the same place they had been every second since Friday night. On Andi. On the hurt in her eyes as he turned away. On the ache in his heart, the pain that never lessened but stayed with him minute by minute, wearing away his very soul.

He was a coward. He’d never thought so, but now he knew better. He’d walked away from the woman he loved, hurting her deeply, and possibly destroying himself. And he was confused. Still. He was afraid he had lost her forever, and at the same time, wondered why he thought she was his to have.

He knew God was going to use her in a mighty way. That had been evident on Sunday. Wade hadn’t gone to church, but Ray told him that three newcomers had talked to the pastor after the service. None of them had ever set foot inside a church before. They were there because Andi had shared about Jesus Friday night and because her song had kindled a yearning in their hearts that they didn’t understand.

Selfishly, he wanted her for himself. He didn’t want to share her with anyone, not even God. And yet, he knew he couldn’t hold her. Wade shook his head, wondering if he was losing his mind.

The show came on, and he stared at the screen like a zombie, watching as someone he had never heard of sang, then was interviewed by one of the popular hosts of the program, a pretty blonde. A dog food commercial was next, and he thought about getting a puppy, maybe a cute little golden Labrador retriever like the one on the television.
A dog would follow me everywhere. He wouldn’t go wandering off all over the country
.

The show returned, and the host gave a short introduction about Andi. Then she came on stage, singing one of her biggest hits. Wade barely heard the music, except to note that her voice was strong and true. She looked beautiful in the magenta print gauze dress she had bought when they went shopping in Sidell—the one she said she would wear when she felt free as the wind. His stomach churned, and he was vaguely glad he hadn’t eaten more than a few bites of the cheese enchilada dinner.

She finished the song and went over to sit by the host. When the camera zoomed in for a close-up, he thought she looked a little tired and was missing some of her sparkle. They chatted about her good health and the upcoming tour, then the woman complimented her on her appearance.

“Thank you. I bought this while I was home. I was a little tired today, still trying to get used to working for a living again,” she said with a big smile, “so I thought it might perk me up.”

“Do you go back home to Buckley often?”

“I’ve only been back about four other times since I came to Nashville, for quick visits with my cousin. My folks moved away not long after I left, so I didn’t have as much reason to go back as I might have otherwise.”

“How was it this time, since you stayed so long? I know you were probably too sick to get out much at first, but how about later? Has it changed?”

“It has changed in many ways, but some things were like they’ve always been. The kids still hang out at the same hamburger joint, and the old drug store is still there. But a lot of the businesses have closed. I saw some of my old friends and made some new ones. Generally, folks left me alone.”