Love Song (4 page)

May 27
th
,

              Diary,

So
I don’t know if
it’s probably me but I think Song is catching onto me? I keep staring at her and doing weird things like an idiot.

We’ve been hanging out a little more lately and it’s getting really hard not to just … look at her. Sometimes I start thinking about the dreams while I’m with her too. Idk

But if its between telling her and losing her then whatever. I’d rather have her as a friend. It’s sad but after just a couple of months she’s like the best friend I’ve ever had. No way I’m losing that because I get a little horny around her.

6

May 30
th

              “What’s up? Ready to go?” Marceline enthusiastically greeted as she waited for Song to get down the flight of stairs at the front of the school building.

Song replied with a swift hug, before rushing out in front of her to race her to the edge of the campus and towards their usual path they took to her house. Marceline laughed, easily catching up with her and starting their journey.

“I think I passed that math quiz. It was easier than I thought. I’m starting to wonder if your grades are really that bad,” Marceline teased as they walked, nudging Song gently against her outer bicep.

Song gave a sheepish shrug, trying her best not to smile up at her. But Marceline shook her head.

“Nah, we make a good team. You tutor me in math, and I tutor you in English. Even though to me you speak,” Marceline said around air quotes. “Just writing, really.”

Song nodded, placing her hand over her chest in a gesture.

“Ah, don’t mention it. Fair trade, as far as I’m concerned. You have homework today?”

Song nodded again with a grimacing expression, making Marceline snicker.

“Must be science. Only science gets that face.”

Song rolled her eyes with another nod, before dropping them to her feet.

“Too bad we both suck in that department. But I’d be more than happy to join you in your misery.”

Song scoffed, but nodded at the offer, more than willing to have company during the tedious work. Especially if it was from Marceline. Marceline folded her arms, unable to help the glow that she felt every time Song confirmed that she wanted to spend more time with her. It was the closest thing to validation she could find for the feelings that had resonated with her.

“So am I finally going to see the inside of your house?” Marceline asked in a joking manner.

But the facial expression she got from Son in response took her by surprise. It was downright fearful. Her brown eyes had gone wide, and her lips were on the verge of parting in a plea for Marceline to change her mind.

“I was … kidding,” Marceline said, hands slightly raised in what looked like surrender.

She watched Song’s shoulders slump in relief, and couldn’t help but wonder why she was so opposed to her coming over. But regardless, she didn’t want to make Song uncomfortable.

“Hey … do you want to see my house?” Marceline asked Song as they came across the park’s midway point, the thought occurring to her that Song had yet to do so. She smiled at the shift in Song’s expression. Going from worrisome to intrigued in a matter of seconds.              

So they changed course, abandoning their usual stops at the park and bakery in town in lue of heading to Marceline’s house. She could feel her stomach knotting up in excitement. Though it was a mere study group for homework, much like they had done several times at the library or park, this one was going to be at her house. And for some reason, it was causing her heart to go into overdrive. Unable to remember what it currently looked like, Marceline could only hope that her room was clean enough to work in.

“Hey, isn’t that that girl?” Marceline vaguely heard from behind her, drawing her from her thoughts long enough to turn around in mild curiosity.

But her eyes widened when landing on the two boys that had tried to chase her down weeks before. Turned out that they didn’t live too far away from each other after all. One of them was pointing at her and nodding to the other, whose expression was swiftly shifting into that of vengeance.

“Shit,” Marceline scowled under her breath as she took a tight hold of Song’s wrist.

Song jerked forward with a gasp, struggling to regain her footing as Marceline hurriedly dragged her down the street as the two boys shouted out to her.

“Hurry!” Marceline urged Song, who discombobulatedly tried to keep up with her, fearful that if she looked back to see what was happening, that she would trip over her own feet.

“Hey!” one of the two boys shouted after them, but with only a block to go before they reached Marceline’s house, she was determined not to let today be the day to break her streak of escaping bullies she’d bullied.

By the time they’d made it to her house, the boys had gathered and started throwing rocks at them, trying to hit one of them to slow the both of them down. Marceline had gotten hit in the back of the leg, but with the adrenaline of escaping, she persevered.

Practically throwing Song into the house, she spun back around, heading back out the door.

“I’ll be right back,” she scowled, shutting the door behind her and rushing out to meet the boys, who skid to a stop in surprise from the sudden change of action.

Marceline picked up a handful of the rocks that had been thrown, ready to show them what aim
really
looked like.

Walking back into the house, Marceline slammed the door with a thud. She wasn’t actually going to call the police, but she needed to scare the kids. Though calling their parents would probably be scarier. She sighed, looking around the living room to find that Song was no longer in it. She glanced around before looking in the kitchen and the bathroom.

“Song?” Marceline called out.

Losing Song was dangerous – like losing your phone on silent. And it instilled the same reaction of anxiety. Marceline spun on her heel, brows furrowed as she listened for some hint of a response.

“Song?” she called again a little louder.

This time, in lieu of a response, Marceline heard the creaking of the floorboards above her. It was coming from her room. She grinned to herself. Exploring, was she?

“There you –“

Marceline had made her way up the stairs, ready to unleash the best fake scolding she could come up with upon catching her going through her belongings. But what she saw Song holding made her heart stop, and her blood run cold.

It was her diary.

Song made a slow turn on her heel, her eyes hesitating before looking up to meet Marceline’s wide ones. Both of their mouths hung agape with shock and growing tension.

The atmosphere seemed to thicken by the second as the silence lingered. Marceline’s eyes fell to the tattered book she’d never gotten around to putting a lock on. There was a sliver of hope that was immediately diminished of Song reading a page that wasn’t about her.

But it didn’t matter what page Song had randomly decided to open. If it was anything after the twelfth, every other page, and eventually every page, was about her.

The two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity – especially to Marceline. Song was already hard to read, and with the expression she held now, there was no way of telling what her reaction was, or was about to be.

Song’s eyes were wide, but not wide in a horrified sense, that Marceline could tell. But she couldn’t be sure that that wasn’t just a state of numbed shock. Her lips were parted, almost as if Marceline had interrupted her reading to herself.

Her body was unnaturally still, while Marceline’s thudding heart alone was able to make her tremble under the looming silence. She half expected Song to run out of her room – and the house, never to be seen again. Marceline winced at the thought, and the prolonged, maddening silence.

Finally, after nearly three minutes of standing still, Song closed the book, and placed it back on the desk where she’d found it, her head turning away from Marceline in the process.

“Song?” Marceline immediately whined.

Though the possibility of Song throwing the book at her that she’d imagined was not much better, she didn’t like what her body language was telling her.

Aside from the day they had met, Song always had a smile on her face. At least when she was around Marceline. And for the first time, she’d seen it evaporate – and by her own hand, no less. It was almost more painful than the thought of never telling her.

Marceline stepped further into the room, her hands raising in the beginnings of a plea.

“Song,” she said again, barely above a whisper.

This time Song turned around, the expression she wore now magnitudes worse. Marceline could see the pain in her eyes. And what almost looked like disgust from her point of view. Marceline’s breath caught in her throat, her own eyes dragged into mimicking the sorrow.

“Please …” Marceline begged, staring down into those brown orbs. “Can we … Still be friends?”

She didn’t expect Song to grant her a vocal response. But she was looking for at least some form of forgiveness. Something to tell her that she wasn’t going to just disappear from her life forever. But Song just stared.

“Song, please.
Please
. Don’t look at me like that … Please … I’ll get over it. I promise. Just tell me … show me that we can still be
friends
.”

Marceline cringed when she saw the subtle, yet bold shake of Song’s head. Her mouth closed, and she took a step towards Marceline, as if solidifying her answer. Marceline’s chest heaved as her head shook in response, much more frantically.

“Song,” she croaked. “Please. Please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I wasn’t ever going to … You weren’t supposed to …”

Marceline fumbled with her thoughts, trying her best to come up with something that would change Song’s mind.

“I’ll … I’ll burn it. I swear I’ll never bring it up. Ever. Just …”

Tears welled in Marceline’s eyes and Song’s face soon mimicked her level of angst. She could see that Marceline didn’t understand. That she was too emotional to attempt to.

She’d have to show her.

Song’s hands reached to cup either side of Marceline’s damp face. They squeezed ever so lightly as she craned her neck and rose on her toes to press her pink lips against Marceline’s red-glossed, quivering ones.

Marceline’s body tensed, almost as if with a volt of electricity. Her eyes, previously squinting from tears, were wide once again. In both shock and confusion, Marceline’s hands hovered around Song’s slender waist.

Her mind had split off into several different paths. There was, of course, the part of her that wanted to respond with everything she had. To crush her lips with her own and embrace her. There was a side that wanted to shove her away with the same passion, furious of being mocked. And then of course, there was the side that was in complete and utter shock.

It was that side that seemed to dominate, as Marceline stayed still even as Song pulled away from the kiss. The tears had stopped upon contact and all there was to do now was look at one another.

Song searched Marceline’s eyes for some sign of understanding, but only saw even less. Marceline’s head shook in Song’s hands after a moment more of silent anticipation, her lashes fluttering as she replayed what had just happened.

“I don’t …” she began to say, unable to grasp the meaning behind the kiss.

She still couldn’t tell if it was an acceptance, or a farewell. Song grimaced, her hands lowering from Marceline’s face to rest on her still-hovering hands. She pushed them down, forcing them to rest upon her hips as she looked in Marceline’s eyes with resolve. But Marceline could barely bring herself to comprehend what was happening. She was still partially under the illusion that Song was about to leave at any moment. Even as she pushed her back towards her bed.

She fell back to sit on it in a daze, looking up at Song in a trance. Song’s eyes were no longer grieving. They were accommodating – sympathetic, almost, as she stood in front of her, now able to look down at her.

The light from the windows gave her pale features the appearance of a goddess, gracing Marceline with her very existence. And all Marceline could bring herself to do was stare.

The pleated black skirt of Song’s uniform crumpled against the crease of her thigh and hip as she lifted her knee onto the bed to Marceline’s left. It was then that Marceline’s conscious took hold when Song’s left knee came to join on her right side.

Hands still on Song’s hips where they had been relocated, Marceline’s eyes widened for the third time as she gazed up at the goddess before her. And though the body of said goddess – the one that she had been longing to embrace and fondle – came to reside in her lap, her eyes never left hers. It was if she was waiting for permission.

“Song?” Marceline whispered in question once more, needing that last step of reassurance.

She had almost expected another kiss. But instead, as Song lowered herself into Marceline’s lap, she wrapped her arms around her neck, and nestled her face against its crease. Song squeezed her as if she was frightened. And the fact of the matter was, she was.

To say what she was about to let happen was frowned upon in her family was an understatement. She could very well be disowned, which she was already on the verge of from her grades in school. Her parents were already skeptical of her friendship with Marceline, but she hoped she would have been able to keep at least that.

She didn’t completely understand her feelings herself, but the sudden presenting of Marceline’s was almost overwhelming. And then to have Marceline say that she was willing to throw them away … She didn’t care if she was thrown out of her house. She didn’t want to let the chance go by. She needed to make herself clear. She could only hope that this was enough.