Love Sneaked In (Montgomery Family Trilogy) (30 page)

“I thought that the Duke of Somerset was going to ask me to marry him, and he had even taken certain liberties with my person, so I just knew he was going to ask me to marry him. He even alluded to it on our last outing together. Then he went out of town, and when he came back, he didn’t contact me. The next thing I knew, he became engaged to Lady Penelope. I was devastated by the whole thing, and that’s when I decided I would find someone to marry who didn’t want a love match, but I didn’t think he would have a mistress!”

Helen was sobbing by this point, and Matthew felt so worthless. What a stupid ass he’d been. He knew that Helen didn’t deserve this, especially in her condition. It was tearing him apart knowing that it was all his fault that she was feeling this sense of betrayal.

Trying to plead his case, Matthew said, “Helen, please understand I didn’t expect to find someone like you when I went to London. My mind was consumed with the need to find someone to marry so I could fulfill my father’s dying wish, and God knows my daughters needed a mother. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“That much is obvious. You weren’t thinking at all!”

“You’ve got to believe me. I was attracted to you from the first moment I saw you. I knew if you married me, I wouldn’t want to keep a mistress. I promise I’ll never have a mistress again. I’ve…fallen in love with you. I know you didn’t want that, but I couldn’t help it. You’re the most wonderful and amazing woman I’ve ever known. I knew that I loved you the first time we rode on the beach. Please give me a chance to prove that I love you. I’ll do anything for you.”

With pain in her voice, Helen said, “I don’t know if I can forgive you for this.”

Trying to gain some ground he’d lost, Matthew said, “I’m so sorry that man did that to you.” Then hiding his jealousy, he asked, “Can I ask you what liberties you allowed? It was clear that you were a virgin when we made love for the first time. I’ll kill the bastard if he hurt you!”

“He kissed me and I…I…allowed him to touch me, but I stopped him when he tried to do more. Matthew, I need to think about this because I don’t want to be hurt, and this has been such a shock to me. I have to deal with the venom from that woman, and I can’t avoid her because she’s invited everywhere. Please, leave me, I need to be alone.”

“I’ll leave you, but please remember that I love you, and I’ll never do anything to hurt you ever again!” Matthew again tried to hug her, but Helen pushed him away and turned her back on him. Quietly he turned and, hanging his head, he slowly left the room.

After Matthew left the room, Helen sat there quietly weeping. The pain in her heart was almost unbearable. She didn’t know what to do. While she was thrilled that Matthew loved her, she felt so betrayed that he’d had a mistress when they first got married. She understood he broke it off immediately, but nonetheless, he didn’t break it off
before
they got married.

Helen felt as if she couldn’t trust him anymore, and it hurt so badly because she loved him so much. She guessed she’d have to forgive him because of the baby. She would just have to find some way to accept this, but she decided she would be very cautious about her future relationship with Matthew. She was certainly not going to tell him she loved him.

Of course, at least now she did know he loved her, so maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive him, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him suffer for a while. She would make him grovel a little before she told him she would forgive him. She crawled into bed, but she had a hard time falling asleep. She kept picturing Matthew making love with that woman, and she felt as if she would go mad. She tossed and turned and eventually cried herself to sleep.

Trying to put all that Matthew had told her the night before out of her mind, Helen met with Mrs. Smith and Cook to talk about doing up baskets for the tenants. Helen had Wells ask Mrs. Smith and Cook to come to the morning room. When they arrived, she said, “Mrs. Smith, I would like to make up baskets for the tenant farmers for Christmas. We used to do baskets for our tenants when I was at Sanderford Park.” Helen turned to Cook and added, “I want to put foods in them that will help them have a better Christmas. Can I count on you?”

Mrs. Smith smiled excitedly. “I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I know all the tenants will be thrilled with them. I’d be happy to put them together, milady.”

Cook spoke up. “I can make fruitcakes and cookies fer th’ children and o’ course, plenty o’ puddin’. Oh milady, this is so wonderful of ye. Ever’one will jus’ love it. I’ll get t’ work on ‘em right away.”

“Lord Collingswood and I want to deliver them the day before Christmas. Will that be a problem?”

“We’ll have them ready milady,” Mrs. Smith said, and then they left the morning room to go get started. Helen was pleased that Mrs. Smith and Cook were so enthusiastic about the baskets. Helen thought the idea to put the fruitcakes and cookies in the baskets would thrill all the children. She just wished she had thought of the baskets sooner so she could have had time to have some toys made to add to the baskets.

It was hard for Helen to concentrate because she kept replaying her conversation with Matthew from the night before, but she was determined to get everything done that she had planned for the day. After lunch, she ordered the carriage so she could go to Cassandra’s house. It was a very cold and a surprisingly icy day, since snow was rare in Devonshire, but she really needed to talk to Cassandra, so she decided to go anyway.

Helen hoped Cassandra could give her some advice about what to do about Mrs. Arlington. She was so heart sore over this. Every time she thought about Matthew with that woman, it made her so angry. Even though it happened before they were married, the very thought of him with another woman infuriated her. She wasn’t so na�ve that she’d thought Matthew was pure when they married, but it was worse knowing who the woman had been.

Oh, the pain of it all!

She kept seeing them making love, and it was tearing her up inside.

About three quarters of the way there, she heard a loud crack and suddenly the carriage jerked and began to tilt, she heard the driver yelling at the horses, trying to get them to stop. She felt the carriage begin to roll and tried to grab the strap, but she didn’t have time. As the carriage lurched, she felt herself being thrown about and all her thoughts were for the baby.

Please, God, don’t let anything happen to the baby!

Finally, after sliding on the ice, the carriage came to a stop. The carriage was lying over on its side, and Helen had been thrown against the door, which was now on the ground. The window was broken and glass was digging into her back. Her shoulder was throbbing so she was sure she’d injured it again.

The coachman got the carriage door open and tried to help her out, but since the carriage was on its side he wasn’t able to. “Milady, I’m goin’ t’ have t’ get some help. Since we’re closer t’ th’ marquess’s house, I’ll go there. I’ll hurry as quick as I can.”

Helen tried to remain calm, but she was worried about her baby. It was so cold she was shivering and her teeth were chattering. She struggled to sit up, but she scraped her bottom and felt a piece of glass dig into it. She realized that she needed to stay still. By this time, she was thoroughly wet from the snow and ice that was under her. She must have sat there against the door for at least thirty minutes before someone showed up to help her.

Lord Ralston opened the door, and between him and the coachman, they were able to get her out. She was in quite a bit of pain by this time. Lord Ralston carried her to his carriage and got her inside. He had plenty of blankets, so he put several of them around her, trying to help her get warm. When they got to his house, he carried her up to one of their guest bedchambers and laid her on the bed. Cassandra stayed with her while Lord Ralston sent for the doctor and Matthew.

Cassandra’s maid came into the room carrying a night rail and helped Helen change into it. Her back had stopped bleeding, but she had scrapes all over her upper back and her buttocks where she had sat on the glass.

Once Helen was in bed, Cassandra came into the room. “You poor thing, you’ll need to lie on your side because I’m sure your back is painful. My goodness, I can’t believe your carriage lost a wheel. Does anything hurt besides your back? Are you beginning to warm up? It’s such a cold day you must have been freezing in that carriage.”

Helen’s voice shook as icy fear for her child filled her mind. “I’m so s-scared that I’ll l-lose the b-baby. I was thrown against the d-door hard. My s-shoulder and back are very painful, but other than some bruises and cuts, I think I’m all right. I’ll feel better when the doctor gets here and examines me. I’m beginning to warm up a bit. I was f-freezing out there!” Helen was still shivering, and her teeth were chattering as she tried to speak.

“Well, why don’t you try to rest? I’m sure that the doctor will be here soon. I’ll just go check and see if he’s arrived yet.” Cassandra hurried from the room.

Helen lay there, and the tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t understand why these things kept happening to her. There was no way that the carriage should have lost a wheel. Matthew was extremely careful to keep all their coaches in excellent condition at all times. He was very particular about anything to do with his horses. It felt as if someone were deliberately trying to hurt her.

Matthew arrived before the doctor and he hurried into the room. When he saw Helen lying there, he rushed to her bedside. “Helen, where do you hurt? Lady Ralston said you hurt your shoulder and that you have cuts and scrapes on your back. Oh my love, please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. I wish I could hold you in my arms, but I don’t want to hurt you.” Helen looked over at Matthew with tears running down her pale cheeks, and it just about brought him to his knees from fear of losing her.

Why did these things keep happening to her?

Taking a deep steadying breath, Helen said, “Oh M-Matthew, I’m so…so scared! I don’t want to l-lose the b-baby. I hit the door of the carriage hard, and now my shoulder hurts so much. I have cuts on my back and my b-bottom. Oh God, please don’t let me lose my baby!”

He sat down on the side of the bed and held her hand. As Helen cried, he felt so helpless. He was so afraid she would lose their child, and he knew that Helen would be devastated if that happened.

The door opened and the doctor entered the room.

Dr. Moore examined Helen, and when he was through, he said, “Lady Collingswood, you have bruised your shoulder. It isn’t dislocated again, but since you injured it before, I recommend that you use a sling for a few days. I’ve put some ointment on your back. The cuts aren’t deep and don’t need to be stitched. You’re going to be very sore for several days.”

“Doctor, what about the b-baby?” Helen asked, “Do you think…I’ll lose it?”

“Since you’re not cramping,” he replied, “I don’t think you’ll lose it, but it would be a good idea for you to stay off your feet for a week. If possible, you need to stay where you are instead of traveling back to Collingswood Hall.”

Leaving the doctor with Helen, Matthew went to find Lady Ralston. He found her in the drawing room. “Lady Ralston, the doctor doesn’t want Helen moved. I hate to impose on you, especially at Christmas time, but can she stay here?”

“Oh my, of course she can stay. That won’t be a problem at all. I’ll come with you now and let Helen know,” Cassandra said.

When Matthew returned to the room, Dr. Moore was giving Helen some laudanum for the pain so she could rest. When the doctor finished, Matthew led the doctor out of the room and asked, “Are you sure she’ll be all right and that she won’t lose the baby?”

While stroking his chin, Dr. Moore said, “I can’t tell you that she won’t lose the child, but since she’s not cramping that’s a good sign. If she’s going to lose the babe, it will happen in the next couple of days. If she makes it through them without having any cramping, then I feel sure that she’ll be fine. Just keep her in bed so she can rest.”

By the time Matthew got back to the room, Helen had fallen asleep. He looked over at Cassandra and asked, “Lady Ralston, would it be all right if I stay with my wife? I hate to inconvenience you, but I don’t want to leave her.”