Love, Rosie (78 page)

Alex

Theory
Shmeory

If
you
must.
I
might
read
it
if
I
have
time.

from
:

to
:

subject
:

Alex

Rosie

My
theory

Yes
I
must
and
you
will
read
it.
OK,
if
I
had
invited
you
to
my
tenth

birthday
party
then
Brian
the
Whine
wouldn’t
have
been
invited.
If
Brian

hadn’t
gone
then
he
wouldn’t
have
thrown
pizza
all
over
James’s
sleeping

bag
and
if
he
hadn’t
done
that
and
completely
ruined
my
party
then
you
and

I
wouldn’t
have
hated
him
so
much.
If
you
and
I
hadn’t
hated
him
so
much

then
you
wouldn’t
have
had
to
drink
so
much
in
order
to
be
able
to
accom-

pany
him
to
the
debs.
If
you
hadn’t
have
done
that
.
.
.
well
.
.
.
perhaps
you

wouldn’t
have
been
quite
so
drunk
and
your
darling
little
Katie
wouldn’t

have
been
born.
Therefore
I
did
you
a
favor!

And
that,
Rosie
Dunne,
is
my
theory.

from
:

to
:

subject
:

Rosie

Alex

My
Theory

Very
clever,
Alex,
very,
very,
clever.
But
you
needn’t
have
gone
that
far

back
to
accept
responsibility
for
Katie.
Here’s
my
theory.

Had
I
not
been
stood
up
by
you
at
the
debs,
I
wouldn’t
have
had
to
go

with
Brian
the
Whine
at
all.
Had
you
showed
up
at
the
airport
that
day
our

lives
could
have
turned
out
very
differently.

124

from
:

to
:

subject
:

Alex

Rosie

Life

Cecelia
Ahern

Yeah,
that’s
something
I’m
beginning
to
wonder
about.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

They
WHAT???
They
split
up??

Yeah,
they’re
finished.
Sad
isn’t
it?

Well
not
really
actually.
Why
did
they
split
up?

Irreconcilable
differences.
Isn’t
that
what
people
always
say?

Not
in
my
case,
mine
was
a
lazy
cheating
bastard.
So
who
has
Josh?

Sally
took
him
and
went
to
stay
with
her
parents.

Oh
poor
Alex.
So
come
on
spill
the
beans.

Well
I
don’t
know
everything—

Liar.
Alex
tells
you
everything
which
is
probably
the
reason
in
itself.

Excuse
me;
please
do
not
accuse
me
of
being
the
reason
for
his
mar-

riage
breakup.
That
is
very
insulting.
It
was
a
million
little
things

that
all
finally
blew
up
in
their
faces.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

So
when
are
you
going
over
to
him?

Next
week.

Are
you
planning
on
coming
back?

RUBY!
QUIT
IT!

Oh
OK,
OK.
It’s
sad
though
isn’t
it?