Love, Rosie (41 page)

He’s
17.

Yes,
and
old
enough
to
have
a
baby
of
his
own,
going
by
your

standards
.
.
.

Well
he’ll
be
fine
as
long
as
he
doesn’t
go
to
his
school
ball
with
the

most
uninteresting
man
in
the
world
with
the
ugliest
face,
that
way

he
won’t
have
to
drink
a
sickening
amount
of
alcohol
to
trick
the

brain
into
thinking
that
man
is
beautiful
and
funny
and
.
.
.
well

you
know
the
rest.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Are
you
suggesting
that
my
son
could
perhaps
have
a
gay
relation-

ship
at
his
debs?

No!
I
was
just
saying
.
.
.

Oh
I
know
what
you
were
saying,
except
I
think
that
my
poor
dar-

ling
son
may
be
the
exact
person
that
girls
will
have
to
drink
excess

amounts
of
alcohol
just
to
love
.
.
.

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

RUBY!!
You
can’t
say
that
about
your
son!!

Oh,
why
not,
I
love
him
with
all
my
heart
but
bless
him
he
wasn’t

born
with
his
mother’s
looks.

Ha
ha.

Anyway
so
when
are
you
going
to
ever
go
out
with
someone
,
anyone?

Ruby
we
are
not
having
this
conversation
again.
Everyone
you
have

tried
to
set
me
up
with
has
been
a
complete
weirdo!
I
don’t
know

where
you
meet
these
men
and
in
fact
I
don’t
think
I
even
want
to

know!
Anyway
you
can’t
talk,
when
exactly
was
the
last
time
you

went
out
on
a
date?

Ruby:

Ah
that’s
a
very
different
matter
altogether!
I’m
a
woman
10
years
your

senior
who
has
just
been
through
a
very
difficult
divorce
from
a
selfish

little
bastard
of
a
man
and
I
have
a
17-year-old
son
who
only
commu-

nicates
with
me
through
monosyllabic
grunting
sounds.
I
think
he
is

the
son
of
an
ape
(actually
I
know
he
is),
I
have
no
time
for
a
man!

Rosie:

Ruby:

Well
neither
do
I.

Rosie
honey,
you’re
25
years
old,
you’ve
got
at
least
ten
years
of

your
life
left
before
it’s
over.
You
should
get
out
there
and
enjoy

love,
rosie

69

yourself,
stop
letting
the
weight
of
the
world
rest
on
your
shoulders;

that’s
my
job.
And
stop
waiting
for
him.

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Stop
waiting
for
who?

For
Alex.

I
don’t
know
what
you’re
talking
about!
I
am
not
waiting
for
Alex!

Yes
you
are,
my
dear
friend.
He
must
be
some
man
because
nobody

can
ever
measure
up
to
him.
And
I
know
that’s
what
you
do
every