Love, Rosie (254 page)

customer’s
“comfort.”

Rosie:

My
god,
I’d
forgotten
all
about
that!
I
used
to
try
to
be
like
the
guy

on
Fantasy
Island
who
looked
after
his
guests
so
much
he
would

use
magic
to
give
them
their
dreams.

Alex:

I
don’t
call
forcing
me
to
go
to
bed
at
two
in
the
day,
tucking
me
in

so
tight
that
I
could
hardly
breathe
a
comfort/dream-providing
ser-

vice!
I
don’t
no
what
type
of
manager
you
were
trying
to
be
but
if

you
behave
like
that
with
your
real
customers
then
a
few
of
them

will
have
restraining
orders
against
you.

These
days
people
don’t
generally
like
being
given
daily
schedules
by

their
manager
of
what
they
have
to
do
for
their
day
in
the
hotel.
(And

if
they
don’t
obey
the
list,
their
manager
will
go
home
in
a
sulk
and

stay
that
way
all
day
until
the
customer
apologizes.)
The
phrase
“The

customer
is
always
right”
is
one
you’ll
need
to
remember
Rosie.

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

At
least
it
wasn’t
as
bad
as
playing
Hospital.

Now
that
was
a
game
and
a
half!

It
was
a
stupid
game
Alex.
All
it
involved
was
you
trying
to
trip
me

up
in
the
school
yard
so
I
would
cut
myself
and
you
would
have
to

tend
to
me.
Mum
and
Dad
used
to
wonder
where
I
was
getting
all

the
cuts
and
bruises
from.

374

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Yeah
it
was
fun
wasn’t
it?

Cecelia
Ahern

Well
you
have
a
distorted
idea
of
what
fun
is.
Like
the
last
20
years

for
example.

Obviously
not
all
fun
for
either
of
us.

No
.
.
.

Hospitals
and
Hotels
eh?
Sounds
like
some
kind
of
porn
movie.

You
wish.

I
do
wish.
I
have
a
4-year-old
son
who
likes
to
get
out
of
bed
at

5
a.m.
and
sleep
in
between
me
and
Beth.
Any
sex
at
all
is
like
porn

for
me
these
days.

Rosie:

Well
a
man
smiled
at
me
the
other
day
and
I
crossed
my
legs.
That’s

porn
enough
for
me.
I
could
join
the
nunnery
and
I
don’t
think
it

would
bother
me
in
the
slightest.

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Oh
I
disagree!

No
really,
trust
me
Alex.
After
the
men
I’ve
been
with,
celibacy

would
be
like
a
gift
.

It
wasn’t
the
celibacy
I
was
referring
to;
it
was
the
vow
of
silence

that
would
kill
you.

Rosie:
Funny.
Well
believe
me
Alex,
there
are
certain
kinds
of
silences
that