Love, Rosie (167 page)

LonelyLady:

Buttercup:

Wildflower:

Buttercup:

Divorced_1:

Wildflower:

Buttercup:

Wildflower:

Oh
I’m
sorry,
you
know
I
don’t
mean
to.
I
just
have
this
hor-

rible
habit
of
driving
everyone
away.

Why,
are
you
in
the
taxi
business?

HA.
I
like
you
Buttercup,
you
can
stay.
What
are
your
stats?

My
what?

Oh
everyone
look,
a
chat
room
virgin.

Your
stats
Cupcake—age,
sex,
that
sort
of
thing.

Oh
well
I’m
32,
I’m
female,
I
have
a
13-year-old
daughter,

and
I’m
happily
divorced.

Wahoooo!

254

Divorced_1:

UnsureOne:

Wildflower:

Buttercup:

Divorced_1:

LonelyLady:

Cecelia
Ahern

Congratulations
Cupcake,
screw’m
that’s
what
I
say.

Buttercup,
whose
fault
was
the
marriage
breakup.
Yours
or
his?

Oh
ignore
her
Buttercup,
she’s
riding
the
“blame”
wave.

That’s
OK,
I
don’t
mind.
It
was
one
hundred
per
cent
his

fault.

Quel
Surprise.

Well
at
least
you
have
a
daughter,
Buttercup,
and
you
weren’t

left
all
alone.
My
husband,
well
my
ex-husband,
left
me

before
we
even
had
a
chance
to
start
a
family.
I
don’t
think
it

would
have
been
so
hard
if
we
had
children,
then
at
least
I

wouldn’t
feel
so—

Divorced_1:

Alone
yeah,
yeah.
Well
trust
me
it’s
harder
with
kids.

Unfortunately
my
rugrats
are
the
spit
of
my
husband
and

when
I
look
at
them
I
just
want
to
strangle
the
little
bas-

tards.

UnsureOne:

Divorced_1:

UnsureOne:

Divorced_1:

Gosh
well
I
think
that’s
a
little
psychotic.

Do
your
kids
look
like
your
ex,
UnsureOne?

Well
yes
and
no.
Some
people
say
they
do
and
others
say
they

don’t.
I’m
not
too
sure
really
.
.
.

Well
unless
they
look
like
clones
of
your
husband,
save
the

lecture
until
you’re
sure
of
what
you’re
talking
about.
Does

your
kid
look
like
your
ex,
Buttercup?

Buttercup:

LonelyLady:

Buttercup:

Wildflower:

Well
thankfully
she’s
not
his
so,
no,
she
doesn’t.

My
goodness,
did
he
know?

Of
course
he
did,
I
had
my
daughter
years
before
I
met
him.

Oh
well
that’s
a
shame,
thought
we
were
onto
something

good
there.
So
let’s
not
be
rude
guys
and
introduce
ourselves

to
Buttercup.
I’m
62
years
old,
I’ve
5
kids,
and
my
husband

left
me
last
year.

Buttercup:

Divorced_1:

Buttercup:

Oh
how
awful,
I’m
sorry.

HA!
No
need
to
be
sorry
Cupcake,
the
man
had
good
reason

to
leave
her;
she
was
sleeping
with
their
gardener.

Oh!

love,
rosie

255

Oh
please
like
you
lot
never
thought
of
ever
doing
the
same

thing.

Well
my
gardener
was
a
woman.