Love, Rosie (137 page)

13th
birthday
just
because
you’re
in
one
of
your
moods.
I
just
want

to
see
your
birthday
cake
getting
all
caught
up
in
your
braces,
ooz-

ing
out
through
the
cracks
in
your
teeth,
and
then
hitting
people
on

their
faces
when
you
speak.

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Whatever.
I’ll
make
sure
I
speak
to
you
the
most
then.

Who’s
going
anyway?

Alex,
Aunt
Steph,
Pierre
and
Jean-Louis,
Grandma
and
Granddad,

Ruby,
Teddy
and
her
weirdo
son
that
never
speaks,
Mum
of
course

and
a
few
girls
from
basketball.

Toby:

Katie:

Well
yippee.
What
about
your
uncle
Kevin?

Does
he
ever
come
to
anything?
He’s
still
working
in
that
posh
hotel

down
in
Kilkenny.
He
said
he’s
sorry
he
couldn’t
come
but
he
sent

me
a
card
with
a
tenner
inside.

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Well
that’s
all
you
want
anyway.
What
about
Greg?

Nope
he’s
working
in
the
States
for
a
week.
He
gave
me
13
euro.
A

euro
for
every
year.

Cool
you’re
gonna
be
rich.
Just
as
well
he’s
working,
I
hate
when

him
and
Alex
are
in
the
same
room.
It
freaks
me
out.

I
no.
It’s
even
worse
when
Mum’s
in
the
room
because
she
just

spends
the
entire
time
running
from
one
to
the
other
like
she’s
a

boxing
match
referee.

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Alex
would
kick
Greg’s
ass
if
they
were
in
a
boxing
match.

Definitely.
Mum
would
kick
both
their
asses
if
they
even
dared.

So
is
there
anyone
under
the
age
of
80
coming
that’s
not
on
your

crappy
basketball
team.

Alex
is
bringing
Josh.

Josh
is
seven
years
old
Katie.

Exactly,
you’ll
have
lots
in
common.
Same
brain
power.

210

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Cecelia
Ahern

Oh
ha
ha
metal
mouth.
Do
you
think
you’ll
have
any
“sizzling
cock-

tail
sausages”
at
your
party?

You’re
hilarious
Toby.
Well
I
suppose
my
situation
could
be
a
mil-

lion
times
worse.

How?

I
could
be
stuck
wearing
glasses
for
the
rest
of
my
life
like
you

Hardy
har
har.
I
was
just
thinking,
you
might
not
be
able
to
leave

the
country
for
the
next
few
years.

Why?

Because
of
the
metal
detectors
at
the
airports.
You
could
be
a
real

danger
to
the
public.
They
could
be
turned
into
deadly
weapons.

Whatever.

You
have
an
instant
message
from:
ROSIE

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

My
baby
is
going
to
be
a
teenager
next
week.

Thank
your
lucky
stars
it’s
almost
over
now
sweetie.